Flux - 13. Chapter 13

June 19, 2002

Boston, MA

Matt

“Are you going to Claremont for the 4th of July?” I asked JJ.

“I told Stef that I would go if John and Marie went,” he said with a smirk. “So I’m betting I won’t be there.”

“Are you going?” Wade asked me.

I shrugged. “I’m thinking about it.” It had been a shithole of a town, but it was supposed to be a lot cooler now. “If I’m traveling with Zach and Will, I’ll probably end up there.” It also reminded me of Robbie; it was part of him, but I didn’t bring that up.

“You’re going to be at Escorial for Bastille Day, aren’t you?” Wade asked. “I was thinking I could meet up with you there.”

“That would be awesome,” I said, but it was kind of a lie. Ever since this thing with Brad went down, he’d been extra nice to me, and it kind of bugged me. I couldn’t help but think that he was doing it so I’d suddenly tell him that I was just fine if he and Brad wanted to keep fucking each other’s brains out. I had to try hard not to get pissed off at him for trying to manipulate me.

“So who is this realtor you hired?” Tiffany asked.

“Victoria Gladstone,” Wade said evenly.

“Victoria Gladstone?” I asked, chuckling at that imperious sounding name.

“She’s supposed to be the expert in exclusive Boston properties,” Wade said, emphasizing the word, ‘the’.

“I’ll bet she’s eighty years old,” Tiffany grumbled.

“I don’t care if she’s sixteen, as long as she helps us find a house,” Wade said.

“Maybe she’ll be hot,” I said to Tiffany. I was going to give her shit about last night, but JJ was in the room, so I just raised my eyebrows suggestively.

“Maybe she will be,” Tiffany said, giving me a snarky look.

“We’re looking at the house with the ice rink, right?” JJ asked.

“We’ve narrowed it down to that one, and a house in Back Bay,” Wade explained.

“Why can’t we just go check out the one with the ice rink?” JJ asked. He was in his bitchy teenager mode, and it was funny to see Wade get completely frustrated at trying to figure out how to deal with him.

“I think we’re going to see the Back Bay house first,” Wade said firmly.

“Well then why don’t you guys just pick me up after you’re done with that one,” he said, being a smart-ass.

“JJ, come on. It will be fun,” I said, entering the fray.

“Looking at houses is not fun,” he said. “Especially houses I’m not going to live in.”

“Yes it is,” I said. “We’ll make fun of how they decorated it. It will be a blast. Like going to a fashion show for badly dressed people.”

“Like one of Zach’s football games,” JJ said, rolling his eyes. “The stadium is filled with people who couldn’t wear matching clothes if their lives depended on it.”

“Yep,” I said.

“It’s time to go,” Wade said, looking at his watch and being very task oriented. We went down to the lobby and stood there at a loss, not sure who we were looking for. We watched the door as an older woman came in, and I cringed because she was so dowdy, but she headed straight to the front desk. While she was distracting me, another woman came in and approached us, such that I didn’t see her until she was in front of us.

“Mr. Danfield?” she asked, looking mainly at Wade.

“Wade Danfield,” Wade said, as he stepped forward and shook her hand.

“I’m Victoria Gladstone,” she said pleasantly. She was very attractive, probably in her early thirties, with her dark hair pulled back and held with some sort of comb or something, which made her look very formal and businesslike, a look that was accentuated by her dark business suit. It was cut perfectly to accentuate her slim body. She stood about 5’9” tall, but I decided that four of those inches could be explained by the heels she wore.

“Matt Carrswold,” I said, shaking her hand. She smiled at me, but completely ignored my attempts to charm her. When Wade introduced her to Tiffany, she was much more responsive. I smiled at him and raised my eyebrows, and almost laughed as he repressed a grin.

“We have three properties to see,” she said.

“I thought there were only two,” JJ said petulantly.

“The last one is just for you,” she said, smiling at JJ. “Is that jacket Armani?” I almost rolled my eyes at how she’d picked the perfect thing to point out.

“It’s Dior Homme,” he said. “Your suit is Chanel.”

“It is,” she confirmed, smiling. “Let’s go see the houses.”

“Three houses,” JJ said firmly. “And that’s it.”

“Three houses, and a surprise for you,” she said.

The first house we saw was a really nice townhouse in Back Bay. It was very big, so there was plenty of room, and it was close to lots of restaurants and shopping, but it seemed really old-fashioned. The second house was the place out in Brookline. It was massive, and looked like it could be an English Manor house. The ice rink was nice enough, and it even had its own little Zamboni, but even JJ was having a hard time liking it. It was just too big, and it would be a 15-minute drive into Harvard for Wade, assuming there was no traffic. I had a feeling there would be a lot of traffic. It reminded us all of Escorial, and I wasn’t sure that they wanted to recreate that feeling.

Wade and I wandered away from them and looked at the pool in the backyard. “She’s sure paying attention to Tiffany,” I teased him. “Even though you’re writing the check.”

“I am, but Victoria is smart enough to know that Tiffany has a big vote on where we live,” he said.

“I think she thinks Tiffany is hot,” I said, raising my eyebrows. “I think she’s hot too.”

“So do I,” he said, blushing.

“Victoria’s moving in on our turf. At this rate, we won’t get to have another threesome tonight,” I joked.

“Last night was a blast,” he said. “For a lesbian, she sure enjoys dick.”

I laughed. “True that.”

“Are you two done screwing around?” Tiffany demanded, pulling us out of our conversation.

“We are,” Wade answered.

“Where’s the third house?” I asked Victoria, my tone letting her know I wasn’t all that impressed with the first two places.

“Harvard Square,” she said.

“That’s probably convenient for me,” Wade said.

“There is no place more convenient for you,” Victoria said.

JJ frowned. “Does it have an ice rink?”

“Not exactly,” Victoria said. She told the driver to take us by a park and had him pause in front of a large building. “This is the Boston Skating Club. This is where the best figure skaters in Boston practice.”

“The best of Boston,” JJ said with disdain, as if there would be no talent of consequence there. “That’s not the same thing as having an ice rink at the house.”

She rapped the window, and the driver drove a very short distance and pulled up in front of a townhouse. “This is the last house. It doesn’t have an ice rink, but it is close enough that you could actually walk there.”

“It’s practically next door,” Tiffany said supportively. It was close, but it wasn’t that close.

“Let’s see the house,” Wade said. It was funny, because we’d walked into the other two houses a bit apprehensively, as if we were waiting for something to jump out at us. They just didn’t feel right. This one felt right. Maybe it was because, even though the ground floor rooms were pretty traditional, the rest of the house was very contemporary. Or maybe it was because the floor plan seemed to work perfectly for everyone, with damn near an entire separate floor for each of them. Or maybe it was the fact that it was sandwiched about equidistant from the ice rink and Harvard, and surrounded by a booming area with lots of bars and shops. Whatever the reason, in half an hour, we all knew this was the house for them.

While Wade worked out the details to buy the house, and Tiffany hovered around just to hang out with Victoria, JJ and I wandered around the house, exploring. “I wish you were moving with us,” he said.

I thought about that, and decided to respond honestly. “It would be great to be around you, but I’m actually glad I’m not moving here.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I love Wade, but I need to be on my own, and so does he.”

“Well your timing sure sucks,” he said, smiling at me.

“I promised I’d come out and visit at least twice a year, and if I can, I’ll try to make your competitions.”

“That would be great,” he said. “Guess I can’t see you play hockey anymore.”

“Guess not,” I said sadly, and it dawned on me that my hockey playing days were probably over. That should have worked through my brain when we’d played in our playoffs in March, but I guess, in my mind, I’d just sort of felt there’d be another season.

I looked around at this place, and realized that I didn’t belong here. I was like an appendage, and I felt really uncomfortable.

June 19, 2002

Claremont, OH

Will

I drove the car up to Wally and Clara’s house and parked it. “This is really fun to drive,” I said to Grand. We got out and admired this 1963 Corvette Convertible, the car he’d given his parents as a Christmas gift. It had been new back then, I thought, smiling internally.

“I think so,” Grand agreed.

“Thanks for letting me drive.” That was a major sacrifice on his part, since he was like my father in that they both liked to drive: I was convinced it was a control thing. Ever since I’d gotten my permit, I’d been driving every chance I could. Pedro had gone from being the guy who drove me around, to the guy who rode with me so I could legally drive.

“Thank you for not wrecking it,” he joked.

“Yet,” I teased. “It’s so different than Dad’s Ferrari, or Stef’s Porsche.”

“I agree, but I am wondering why you think it is different.”

“It’s just so raw and muscular, but not nearly as refined,” I noted, thinking that I could be talking about some of the men I’d had in my life.

“That is a fair assessment,” he said, as we walked up to the door. I’d been nervous driving the Corvette over here, but not nearly as nervous as I was now, walking into the lion’s den. Grand rang the doorbell, and we waited just a few seconds before the door opened.

“JP! How good to see you!” Clara said, and gave him a hug. She knew him well enough to restrain her exuberance.

“It is good to see you too,” he said.

“And Will! How nice that you could come along,” she said, with much less sincerity. She gave me a much more stunted hug.

“Thanks for inviting me.”

“Welcome,” Wally said gruffly, shaking Grand’s hand, and then mine. “Have a seat.”

We did as he asked, even as I looked around, wondering where Zach and his brothers were. I was glad to see they’d finally spent some of the money Robbie had left them on their house. They’d gotten wood floors to replace the worn out carpeting, and they’d also replaced the sofa and chairs with new ones, even though they were still a tacky plaid pattern. There was a big new television against the wall, replacing the piece of shit they used to have. “Nice couch,” I said.

“Thank you,” Clara said. “The other one was completely worn out.” We heard feet clomping on the stairs, and I knew Zach so well I could even recognize his footsteps. He came bursting into the room, full of energy.

“Hey!” he said, and shook Grand’s hand, then mine. “Good to see you both!”

“I’m sure you’re enjoying your time back home,” Grand said. I knew better, but Zach played it off.

“It’s nice to see Mom and Dad,” he answered.

“Dinner is almost ready,” Clara said, and hustled off to the kitchen to finish cooking.

“Zach says he’s flying out to California with you to meet with his agent,” Wally said to me.

“He’s not my agent, he’s my advisor,” Zach said, raising that issue again. It was funny to see that annoyed Wally as much as it had annoyed me.

“He’s meeting with his advisor, while I’m surfing,” I said pleasantly, determined to be nice to Zach’s father.

“I’m not sure what there is to meet about,” Wally growled. “He was pretty clear when he was here.”

“He was ambushed by you and Mom,” Zach said in a very annoyed tone. “I want him to give me some guidelines now that he’s had a chance to think about things.”

“Or after Will called in the cavalry,” he said rudely, as he looked at me. I was pretty surprised that he was being so obnoxious in front of Grand. It was the height of bad manners to invite us over to dinner and then start an argument less than ten minutes after we arrived.

“We seem to have upset your household,” Grand said calmly. “Perhaps it would be better if we left and returned another time.”

That actually had an impact on Wally, probably because of how pissed off Clara would be if he ran Grand out of their house. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to seem that way. We just have some things we needed to talk about, but we can do that later,” Wally said hastily.

“Excellent,” Grand said. His eye twitched slightly, which meant that he was annoyed, at least according to my father.

“Dinner is ready!” Clara announced, ending the tense encounter. We got up and went into the kitchen, which had been completely remodeled. They’d put in new cabinets, but they were a light oak color that I thought looked hideous. They had these pulls on the doors that were part brass, and part white porcelain, only the white porcelain looked strange compared to the ivory colored Corian countertops. The floor was composed of off-white ceramic tiles, which didn’t quite match the countertops. The appliances were white too, just completing the bright but tacky look. They didn’t have a separate dining room, but the kitchen was large enough for a dining area. I noticed they kept the same oak table they’d had before, only it had been refinished in a failed attempt to match the new cabinets, and the new chairs, which ironically enough did match the new cabinets.

“Where are your brothers?” I asked Zach.

“They all had plans tonight,” Clara said. “I’m sorry they couldn’t join us.” I shared a look with Grand, even as I felt we were being led into an ambush.

We started eating, enjoying a really good pot roast, even as we made idle conversation about Claremont, and how things were changing. I kept waiting for the shoe to drop, and when we had finished the main course, it finally fell. “I want you to understand why we don’t want Zach spending time with you,” Wally said to me, trying to be nice.

“I will be interested to hear your reasons as well,” Grand said, letting Wally know I wasn’t alone. I gave him a brief look to thank him for being here and backing me up.

“You know we don’t have a problem with you being gay,” Wally said, and even though I wasn’t entirely convinced that was true, I nodded. “But if you’re constantly around Zach, they’re going to think he’s gay too. And if they think that, it will destroy his career. He’s got talent. He can be the greatest running back in football. We don’t want your friendship to derail that.”

“I’m not sure who ‘they’ are,” I said coldly. “I know Zach’s a great football player. I flew out to New Jersey and saw a bunch of his games, and I’ve seen him scrimmage with the De La Salle team.” I wanted to remind them that I’d spent a lot more of my time watching him play football this past season than they had. “We’re good friends. In fact he’s my best friend. And we’re also cousins, more or less. So I think that ‘they’ should mind their own damn business.”

“We know friendships are important,” Clara said gently, “but Zach’s football career is his number one priority.”

“But it’s not my only priority,” Zach said. I tried not to give him a loving look as he said that, but it was hard to repress. He’d acknowledged that football was number one, and I got that, but he also recognized I was important too. My cheery mood faded when I saw his expression. There was real fire in his eyes, and I was worried that he was a small nudge away from a big explosion. “Did you ever stop and think that without Will’s friendship, I may not be as good? He props me up, and keeps me going, even when other people try to tear me down.” He said that last sentence as he glared at Wally, who tended to be hypercritical of Zach’s football performance.

“Your talent is what makes you good,” Wally said.

“That is not my experience,” Grand intervened. “I have seen, and interacted, with a multitude of college athletes. I have noticed that the young men who perform the best are men who are emotionally and mentally supported. It is more than just talent.” Wally didn’t like that, but he wasn’t bold enough to argue directly with Grand.

“I hired an advisor, and he’s going to give me some pointers on how to keep ‘them’ from talking about our friendship,” Zach said firmly.

“I think we hired the advisor,” Wally snapped.

“I am in control of my own life, and my own career,” Zach insisted, almost snarling.

“You are still my son, and you are still under eighteen, so you’ll do what I tell you to do!” Wally said loudly.

“You can yell all you want,” Zach replied with just as much volume. “It’s not going to change a damn thing. And I’m not going to let you jump in and mess things up for me. I have professionals who are watching out for me, people who know what they’re doing, and I’m going to listen to them.”

“You will listen to me!” Wally shouted.

“No, I won’t,” Zach said. I was stunned at how defiant he was being. A year ago, he was a loyal and dutiful son, and now he was in full-blown rebellion. They probably blamed me for that. No wonder they hated me. Everyone just sort of sat there, mildly stunned by that, until Zach continued. “Like I said, I have professionals who are going to give me advice on how to manage my career. They know what I need to do. I don’t, and you don’t.”

“You have professionals because I hired them,” Wally insisted, still trying to exert his authority. We all knew that was bullshit, since the people he’d worked with, like advisors and lawyers, had come from recommendations by my family. “I’m going to work with them to set up some rules, and you’re going to follow them, and that’s the end of it.”

Zach looked at him with his shit-eating grin, the one that was scary because it meant that he was scheming. “Don’t bother.”

“What?” Wally asked, surprised.

“I said ‘don’t bother’. If you’re making the rules, and you’re in charge, I’m not playing,” he said adamantly.

“You’re playing,” Wally insisted. “You’ve been playing since you were a little kid. You love football.”

“I do love football, and I’m good at it,” Zach said. “But I’m done for right now. I turn eighteen in slightly less than a year. I’ll start playing again then.”

“This is your senior year,” Clara said plaintively. “This is when you need to do your best to get recruited by a good college.”

Zach shrugged. “I’ve got good grades, so I’m betting that I’m good enough to get into any school I’d want to play football at. I’ll just go there and walk-on. I can red-shirt.”

“You won’t get a scholarship,” Wally said.

“Don’t need one,” Zach said dismissively. “Robbie covered that for me, so I’d have choices. This is one of them.”

“You don’t want to spend all your money on college,” Clara said idiotically. I watched Grand cringe.

“That’s what it’s for,” Zach said.

“You’re playing football,” Wally said, but with less zeal, since Zach had pretty much cut them off. “And if you don’t, maybe you should spend your senior year here at Claremont.”

“I’m not seeing that,” Zach said dismissively, really pissing him off. “What are you going to do, come out to Cali and have me arrested and marched back to Ohio?” Wally glared at him, while Zach shook his head contemptuously. “I’d be gone so fast it would make your head spin.”

“Zachary, I don’t think it’s right for you to treat us this badly,” Clara said, and I watched Zach blanch at that. He loved his parents, but he was really tight with his mother. When she was seriously annoyed with him, she used his full name, so he knew she was pissed at him.

“I’m sorry, Mom. But when I’m nice and try to explain things, you don’t listen,” Zach said. I watched their dynamic, and it was like bolts of electricity flew through my brain, lifting the fog, and making this whole situation transparent. Dad had suggested that I try to get along better with Wally and Clara, only that’s not what Zach wanted, and that’s not what Zach needed. When I was the bad guy, he could defend me but still stand kind of on the sidelines. When he was the bad guy, he had to take the full force of their direct assault. Now that I knew my role here, I jumped in.

“That’s pretty funny,” I said. “I thought Zach was being pretty nice, putting up with your crap for as long as he did. If anyone should be apologizing, it’s you.”

“Evidently your parents didn’t teach you to respect them,” Wally snarled at me, and as if by magic, the anger and outrage was directed away from Zach, and toward me.

“You have no idea,” I said, and watched Grand try to keep a straight face.

But Grand too had had enough of their drama, and was probably resenting the fact that they’d pulled us into it. “My understanding was that you were free until the 4^th of July,” he said to Zach.

“We’ll see about that,” Wally said. Grand ignored him, and focused on Zach.

“I am,” Zach said simply.

“I’m doing some research on the Stuarts and the Bourbons, and how their relationship dominated European politics in the 1600s. I need an intern to come along and help me out. You expressed an interest in that field. I’m wondering if you’d like a short term job.”

“That would be great!” Zach said enthusiastically. He hadn’t expressed any major interest in history, as far as I knew, but like the rest of us, he looked up to Grand, and working with him on anything was likely to be awesome.

“Will this involve alcohol?” Clara asked, her eyes narrowing. We looked at her, kind of surprised, until we realized that when she’d heard the word ‘Bourbon’, she’d thought he was talking about whiskey.

“Bourbon was the family name of the French kings,” Grand said, explaining it to her gently.

“Oh,” she said.

“That will look really good on your college applications,” I told Zach. Grand glanced at me, confirming that was one of his reasons for offering Zach the job.

“I was planning to fly back to California tomorrow,” Grand said. “My intention was that you could go with me, and then meet with your advisor. I’m sure you’ll want to discuss this with him. Then if it’s acceptable to him, you can come up to Palo Alto, and we can leave from there.”

“Where will you be going?” Wally asked. “If he’s working for you, won’t you need to be at Stanford?”

“I’m at the point where I need to be on the ground, and that means I have to go to Paris and London, and possibly Scotland,” Grand said.

“London and Paris?” Zach asked, his eyes wide with anticipation. “I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“They’re awesome cities,” I said, even though my last trip to Paris certainly had been dramatic, and traumatic. But by saying that, I’d shifted the focus back to me.

“What is Will going to do while you’re there?” Wally asked.

“Shop,” I said. I wasn’t a huge shopper like JJ, but Wally didn’t know that. I figured he’d assume that all gay guys were shopaholics like Stef, and he’d buy that line. It seemed to work.

“It is entirely up to you,” Grand said, “but as we plan to leave early in the morning, it may be more convenient for you to stay with us tonight.”

“We can wake him up in the morning,” Clara said, unwilling to let her favorite son escape a minute earlier than he had to.

“Let me think about it,” Zach said. “If I come over, I’ll have Brent give me a lift.”

“You may work that out however you choose. Will or I will call you to tell you exactly when to expect us,” he said.

“That’s fine,” Zach agreed.

“Then we will leave you to say your goodbyes, and to pack,” Grand said to Zach, then turned to Clara. “Thank you for a lovely dinner.”

He stood up, and I mimicked his moves. “Thanks for dinner,” I said to Clara. We got up and walked out of the house, leaving them pretty confused.

Grand held out his hand, demanding the keys. “My turn to drive.”

“Damn,” I said, and smiled as I handed them over. We got in the car, and he fired it up, both of us reveling in the roar of the V-8. I waited until he drove off before we started talking. “Thanks for jumping in like that.”

“I am surprised you felt the need to get involved,” he said, giving me a very unpleasant look. “I would have thought it more appropriate to stay out of their family squabbles.”

“I’d say I was directly involved in this one from the beginning,” I said. “Besides, Zach wanted me to.”

“Zach wanted you to anger his parents?” he asked acidly, challenging my assertion.

“He did,” I said. “Dad told me I should try to get along with Wally and Clara, but Zach needs me to be the foil, the dude who takes the heat from them.” We drove on as he thought about that.

“And what happens when they try to ban you from seeing him?”

“I think they just did that tonight,” I said. “If Zach still wants me in his life, he’ll have to stick up for me.”

“I did not realize you had thought this out,” he said.

“I actually just put it all together tonight, when they were arguing. Zach was pretty embattled, and I realized that if they were pissed at me, then he could defend me and make his point without directly defying them.”

“That is very thoughtful of you, but it won’t endear you to them,” he noted. “And for the next year, they still have some influence over Zach’s life, since he is a minor.”

I shrugged. “Like I said, if he wants me in his life, he’s going to have to fight for me. If he doesn’t, then he’ll have to fight his own battles with them.”

“Indeed,” he noted sagely.

“I appreciate you offering Zach a job. I’d pretty much figured our big world trip was off the table after he talked to his advisor.”

“I am sure you will enjoy this time together,” Grand said, “but that is not why I did it.”

“Why did you do it?” I asked, as he drove up the drive to his house and parked the Corvette in the garage.

“Because I think it is important for Zach to see a bit of the world, and to broaden his horizons,” Grand said, even as we got out and walked out of the garage.

“To give him some perspective,” I suggested.

“Traveling to foreign countries can be very enlightening,” Grand said. “I noticed that it had a relatively large impact on Gathan, so I think it is reasonable to expect a similar result with Zach.”

“That’s what I was trying to do, by giving him that birthday present.”

“And I have just stepped in to make sure the present gets delivered,” he said with a smile. “London and Paris are good starts for an American contemplating a trip abroad.”

“Hopefully Paris will be less dramatic than our last vacation there,” I said and that inevitably reminded me of Robbie, and made me sad.

“One can hope,” he said. “I am going to leave you to your own devices tonight. I have some articles to read.”

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I said. I went up to my room and felt my phone vibrating. I was surprised to see that it was Matt.

“Hey there,” I said pleasantly.

“Hey,” he responded. “What’s your plan?”

“We’re going back to LA tomorrow morning, to spend a few days and meet with Zach’s advisor. Then we’re flying up to Paly for a day or two. Then we’re going to Paris and London with Grand.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” he asked.

“Zach and I,” I told him. “There was a big fight at Wally and Clara’s, so Grand offered Zach a short internship to help him with his research there.”

“As an excuse to free him from Wally and Clara?”

“More or less,” I said. “So you’re off the hook if you don’t want to go with us.”

“I was kind of looking forward to it.” He sounded disappointed.

“Dude, we were totally excited that you were going, and I’d love it if you did, but it’s up to you. I just didn’t want you to feel forced to go.”

“It’s cool. I was going to catch a flight back in the next day or two. I’ll just meet up with you in Malibu.”

“Is everything OK?” He’d been clinging to every second he could grab with Wade, and now he was leaving the day after he got there?

“I’m good. I just don’t belong here,” he said, referring to Boston.

“Then you should come home,” I said, referring to California.

“I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon.”