-- Chapter 28 --

As he came around the last bend in Beachside Lane, Matt quickly spotted the police vehicle that was parked on the verge directly outside the house, and immediately his stomach did an unpleasant flip. You know, the kind where you are sure and certain that bad news is staring you in the face, but it just hasn’t been said out loud as yet?

The Toyota Landcruiser was parked near the gateway into their yard, engine off, no lights, and as Matt slowed and turned into the yard, passing in front of the vehicle, he glanced at the driver, who was just opening the door and stepping out. It was the same policeman who had visited the other day, Constable Legge, or Leggatt, or something like that, he thought.

Parking in front of the garage, he killed the ignition, then sat for a second longer than necessary before climbing out. The cop was already walking towards him across the grass. They had met once before, briefly, and now they shook hands.

‘Mr Parsons,’ Shane said.

‘Just Matt is fine, Constable . . .’

‘Leggatt. Shane Leggatt.’

‘Of course. I almost had it right in my head.’

The policeman smiled. ‘Do you have a few minutes, Matt?’

‘Of course,’ Matt replied.

They ended up on the back deck. The afternoon was still warm and bright, with a light breeze singing through the casuarina trees just outside the yard. It was a sound that Matt never tired of. Levi appeared in the open doorway, giving the policeman a short nod, which was returned. They had only been talking a few minutes ago as it was.

‘Do you have any news for me?’ Matt asked, keeping his voice even.

Shane settled into one of the chairs. ‘I’ve heard a few rumours. Same ones everyone else has heard, I guess. A kid was seen behind the wheel, but no worthwhile descriptions or anything as yet. Same old story that happens everywhere I guess . . . some kids throw a party, some other kids steal some wheels to get there, then later the car ends up burned out. We’re looking into it, but so far no one has come forward as a witness. And anything that might have been useful as evidence went up with the vehicle. Without witnesses or physical evidence, there’s not a lot we can do right now. But we’ll keep you informed, of course.’

‘I’d appreciate that,’ Matt said carefully, while daring to glance at his ashen-faced son.

Shane glanced around the deck and the yard beyond. ‘Nice spot you’ve got here.’

‘Thanks. And yeah, we like it.’

‘We?’ Shane’s tone was mild. Curious. ‘As in the other bloke who was here on the weekend?’

Matt didn’t hesitate. ‘Yeah, my partner, Luke,’ he replied. ‘We also have my son, Levi, with us. And our friends Tim and Guy, who I think you met on the weekend as well.’

Shane nodded once. ‘Nice. My partner, Jimmy, and I haven’t been in town long, but we like the place. It’s somewhere people can be themselves, if you know what I mean.’

Matt studied him for a moment. A gay cop in a town that already had more than its share of gay men. At least the guy was being honest and upfront from the get-go. Matt felt a small, unexpected shift in the air.

‘Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. So, are you still on duty?’

Shane checked his watch and smiled. ‘Off as of five minutes ago.’

‘Fancy a beer?’

‘I wouldn’t say no,’ the smiling policeman replied.

Matt turned to Levi. ‘Can you grab us a couple of beers out of the fridge please, mate? And a Coke for yourself if you want.’

Levi nodded, disappeared inside, and came back with two cold bottles and a can. He set the beers on the table, kept the Coke, and sat on the top step a little way off – close enough to still be able to hear, but far enough not to intrude. His heart was still thudding.

Shane took a long pull of the beer and sighed. ‘Goes down well after knock-off time.’

‘Yeah. It does,’ Matt replied. ‘Though I wouldn’t have thought you would have had a regular quitting time, being a cop and all that.’

‘Small-town, one-cop, cop shop is pretty much a nine-to-five role,’ he said. ‘One officer just to keep an eye on things. Though backup’s not far if it’s ever needed. Still, we’re on call twenty-four seven though.’

‘Yeah, I can see that. Where were you before here?’

‘Macquarie Harbour before this. Couple of years. Recently they moved the last local bloke on – said he wasn’t a good fit with the community. Being gay, they figured I might connect better. District Commander even made a joke about Jimmy and me ‘fitting right in.’”

Matt raised an eyebrow. ‘Didn’t that piss you off?’

Shane gave a short laugh. ‘In a way, yeah. But it comes with the territory, I guess. Jimmy and I already knew the place, and I actually asked to be considered for the post. So it’s a win-win as far as we’re concerned.’

‘Oh?’

Shane’s eyes drifted out toward the bushland between the house and Hidden Bay. ‘Spent a fair bit of time growing up on the streets of Sydney, mostly. Jimmy and I got rescued by a cop when we were just kids. Ended up being fostered by a couple in Newcastle, who knew the cop, and they had a holiday place here. So we spent more than just a few summers around this coast. That’s how I knew the town. Figured that given the chance, it might be a decent place to put down some roots.’

They talked a while longer – nothing too heavy, just the easy back-and-forth of two men feeling each other out. Levi remained on the step, his Coke largely untouched in his hand, while listening hard and trying not to look as scared as he felt. Every time Shane’s gaze flicked in his direction, his stomach tightened.

When the constable finally stood to leave, he shook Matt’s hand again and gave Levi another brief nod. ‘Guess I’ll be seeing you around,’ he said to them. ‘And I’ll be in touch if we make any progress with the investigation on your car.’

‘Thanks. I’d appreciate that.’

The moment they heard the police car start and then drive away, Matt turned to his son.

‘No witnesses means no action,’ he said quietly. ‘And none of Casey’s mates from that party are likely to dob him in. But I think he needs to understand something. If your name ever gets put out there, you’ll be more than happy to name every other kid who was involved. That should shut the noise down.’

Levi swallowed. ‘You going to talk to him?’

‘Just quietly. When the chance comes up. I see him around town every now and then, so I’ll keep an eye out for him,’ Matt replied, as he rested a hand on Levi’s shoulder for a second. ‘You’re not entirely off the hook with me yet, mate. But just know that you’re not going to wear this alone either.’

***

School over the next few days was a mixed bag of treading carefully on one hand, and life goes on, on the other.

Jimmy and Dan were chill. There was still work to do, but by and large their friendship was well on the way to being fully restored. At lunch the three of them claimed the usual bench under the trees without discussion. Dan tossed Levi a packet of chips. Jimmy asked about the weekend as if the world hadn’t tilted sideways a week earlier. It wasn’t quite the same old easy friendship just yet, but it was a start. And by the end of the week things almost felt normal.

Brooke, however, was still keeping her distance. She would answer if Levi spoke directly to her, but her eyes stayed cool and her answers were short. They would look at each other across the classroom, or across the playground, but would then look away. For her, the knowledge that the boy she had been falling for had also felt something for other boys sat between them like a wall that she wasn’t yet ready to climb. Or couldn’t bring herself to climb.

On the home front, progress was slower and more complicated. Matt remained firm – chores and check-ins were the order of the day, though the day eventually came when he was given a drive of the new Navara. The driving log book was restarted, but Matt was adamant that there was to be nothing fudged; that it had to be filled in honestly from zero. Luke was gentler. He would catch Levi’s eye across the table and give a small nod that said keep going. It wasn’t Luke’s car that had burned, after all.

For Levi however, that little bit of encouragement went a long way to helping him restore his own self-esteem. He knew his dad loved him, though Matt was in some ways still struggling with what he saw as a betrayal of trust, but having Luke on his side, knowing that there was someone else there offering support, seemed to help keep Levi grounded.

That was born out that Friday night when Luke and Matt arrived home and everyone was feeling wrung out. Tim and Guy wouldn’t be home, and nobody wanted to cook dinner, so Luke suggested Chinese takeaway. Matt agreed, then Luke tossed the keys to his Toyota to Levi.

‘You’re up, buddy! Let’s go fill in another line on your logbook.’

‘You sure?’ Levi asked.

‘Of course. Now let’s hit the road.’

The drive into town was uneventful. Levi did everything that was asked of him, and ten minutes later they had pulled up outside their favourite restaurant.

‘How about I just go and order, then instead of waiting around, we take a quick drive down the coast road and back again? Put a few extra clicks in your book.’

‘We don’t have to . . .’ Levi began to say, but Luke stopped him short.

‘Yeah, we do. I agree with your dad that there had to be some form of punishment, but I know you’ve learnt your lesson after what happened. I think he’s being a bit harder on you than you probably deserve . . . but then again, neither of us have any experience with raising kids . . . so I’m going to help you out a bit, provided it stays between us . . . capiche?’

‘What the hell does that mean?’

Luke laughed out loud at that one. ‘So, obviously you’ve never seen any gangster movies?’

‘Errr . . . not that I know of . . .’

‘It means, do you understand?’

‘Ahhh . . . okay.’

‘So, what do you say? I’ll give you a few extra lessons . . . and if you’re lucky I might even fudge some times and kilometre readings for you. So what do you reckon? Our little secret?’

‘Okay. Thank you. But . . . shouldn’t you be careful that nobody’s listening when you say those kinds of things?’ Levi replied.

‘What? Oh, now you’re turning into a real wisearse! You’re sounding more and more like a local every day!’

‘Funny. That’s exactly what Father Costas said to me!’

***

Levi started dropping into the church more often, finding comfort in something that was familiar to him. The dim interior, brightened only by the stained-glass windows, the cool wooden pews, well-worn and polished by years of parishioners’ backsides sitting on them, the smell of timber and . . . what was it? History? It all meant something to Levi, and it provided a link back to his childhood. To his mother.

Sometimes he just sat in the quiet for a few minutes, just breathing it all in. Sometimes he would drop to his knees and offer up a little prayer . . . though he seemed to be doing that less and less these days, he noticed. And Father Costas was always there. Maybe not always inside the little church, but somewhere around. When they would meet, they would often sit and talk, with the conversations beginning light, and not always about religion.

If Father Costas was in the mood, they would talk about fishing spots along the coast, or the weather, or even the state of the footy.

‘Who do you follow?’ Father asked him one afternoon.

‘I think I might be a Dragons fan,’ Levi replied – not that he knew much about any of the teams. He had a faded, red-and-white sloppy joe that had once belonged to Matt, which he sometimes wore, so that was about the extent of his fandom.

Father Costas smiled. ‘The Dragons have had a few lean years, my son. But they will turn the corner eventually. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can learn that the only way to go from there is up.’

The words settled into Levi’s chest and stayed there. He found himself turning them over at night, while he stared at the ceiling.

Was that what had happened to him, he wondered. Had he hit rock bottom? Was he still there, or were his fortunes finally on the rise?

He didn’t have an answer for that yet, but it certainly got him thinking.

One afternoon he called in at the church and found Father huffing and puffing, as he worked in the gardens between the church and his residence. It was a hot, summer afternoon, and Levi could see the sweat pouring off the priest.

‘Are you okay, Father? Do you need some help with any of this?’ Levi asked.

‘Well, if you’re offering, Levi, I certainly wouldn’t say no,’ the priest replied.

Levi grinned at him. ‘How about I start with the lawn?’

‘Splendid idea, lad. Let me show you where the lawnmower is kept.’

So Levi began helping out with the practical work that Father needed assistance with. There was no mention of money, it was simply a helping hand for a friend, and as they began to spend a few hours each week in each other’s company, mowing the church lawn, weeding the garden beds along the fence line, tidying the small graveyard behind the church, with its hundred-year-old headstones, or raking leaves, Levi found that he was enjoying himself more than he had ever imagined he might.

The sweating. The dirt under his nails. It was something real. The physical labour felt clean in a way nothing else had for weeks, even when he would finish covered in dirt and leaves. And even though he didn’t always know what he was doing, Father Costas never made him feel stupid for asking a question.

It was also a perfect opportunity for Levi to express what he was feeling, and question his beliefs and his faith, without any judgement at all. Father would listen to everything he would say, and would always provide sage advice. And Levi came to trust that.

Soon, people walking past started to notice the boy from the Gay House turning up and working. A few would even nod and smile. Parishioners would also comment at mass on Sunday, and gradually Levi started taking note, and thanking them. Gradually he was beginning to feel whole again.

***

The invitation to the barbeque at Tony and Aaron’s home, Bayview, came in the middle of the week that followed Levi and Luke deciding to share a secret relating to the driving lessons.

Tony and Aaron’s place sat a little further along Beachside Lane from Avalon. It was the big house on the hill, with the fancy gateway and white fences, all looking out over the same stretch of water that Levi enjoyed swimming in. The event was meant as a welcome for the new constable and his partner – something easy and open. Levi went along with Matt and Luke, and Tim and Guy, but was a little unsure as to what to expect.

The backyard was already full when the Avalon crew arrived. Shane and his partner, Jimmy, were there, drinks in hand. Justin and Scott from the caravan park as well. And the extended family of Tony and Aaron who Levi had only ever seen at a distance – Aaron’s younger brother, Zack, twenty-four and easy in his own skin; Tony’s sister Jess; her partner Kellie; and their daughter Mia, seven years old and already darting between the adults like she owned the place.

Levi recognised some of their faces from around town, but standing in the middle of them was different. He waited for the old discomfort to rise – the tight feeling in his chest, the urge to step back. It came, but quieter than before. He could breathe through it. And that surprised him.

Shane and Jimmy ended up near the esky, talking with Tony and Luke. Bits of their story drifted across the yard: street kids, a gay cop who had pulled them both out of trouble years ago, the decision to join the force because of that one man. Levi listened without joining in, without trying to be noticed. The pieces of their past felt important, even if he didn’t yet know why.

Zack was helping Aaron at the barbecue, flipping sausages and laughing at something Mia had said. At one point he glanced over and caught Levi watching. He gave a friendly half-smile and a small lift of the tongs. Levi looked away quickly, heat rising in his face for reasons that had nothing to do with the afternoon sun. The internal argument immediately flared up again – faith on one side, the unexpected pull on the other – but he pushed it down and went to get another soft drink.

For most of the afternoon he stayed on the edges of the conversations, but he did stay. And that felt like progress of a kind.

***

By the following Monday the ground under Levi’s feet felt a fraction more solid.

Brooke still wasn’t warm, but she had started speaking to him again in short, careful exchanges between classes. It wasn’t forgiveness. It was a crack in the ice.

One afternoon he bumped into Aaron, who was coming out of the auto store that Matt worked in, when Levi was checking in after school. They greeted each other as friends would, even if there was still a way to go before that could be considered a reality. Aaron mentioned, almost in passing, that he had seen Levi working in the churchyard with Father Costas, and as they were on the verge of summer their lawn-mowing rounds were picking up, and he could possibly use an extra pair of hands after school a couple of days a week. Levi said he would think about it and talk to his dad about it. The idea of more outdoor work – paid this time – sat surprisingly well with him.

That evening he stood in the church garden alone, hose in hand, watching water darken the soil around the new plants. Father Costas’ words came back again.

“Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can learn that the only way from there is up.”

Levi turned off the tap, coiled the hose, and afterwards rode home through the cooling air. The road still stretched a long way in front of him. But for the first time in weeks, he could believe it might actually lead somewhere.

To be continued . . .