Catering With Benefits (3) - An Appetite for More - 43. The Big Red Sofa - again

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The following week, Thomas kept the appointment with Dr Winston. He wore dark glasses and a cap, just in case the receptionist suspected he wasn’t Jared.

“Jared Haynes for Dr Winston.”

“Please take a seat Mr Haynes, doctor will be with you soon.”

Thomas was relieved that he was past the first hurdle, now all he had to do was convince the doctor to talk to him about Jared.

The receptionist’s intercom buzzed, and after speaking to the caller, she said to Thomas “Mr Haynes, doctor is ready, please go straight in.”

Another problem for Thomas. “Thank you...is he still in the same room?”

“Yes, room 2, on the right.”

“Thank you.”

Thomas knocked and entered without waiting for an answer. “Good morning doctor.”

“Good morning Jared.” Then turning towards Thomas said “I think you have the wrong room, I’m not expecting you. Who is your doctor?”

“Let me explain Sir. I am Thomas Steadman, Jared’s partner.”

“That’s nice for you, but this appointment is for Jared Haynes. Where is he?”

“He can’t make it, I’m sorry, so I’ve come to explain.”

“That’s the second appointment he’s missed, he should have advised me earlier.”

“He’s unable to do that, because he died a few weeks ago and was farewelled last week.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, please take a seat and tell me how it happened.”

“He died in a single car accident in the Northern Territory.”

“Yes he did mention his planned trip on his last consultation. That is devastating news, I hope you have a support system around you, Thomas is it?”

“Yes, I’m doing ok, thanks.”

“That’s good and thanks for letting me know, but you didn’t need to come in personally. A phone call would suffice.”

“I think such news should be delivered in person and also I want to talk about Jared.”

“If you need support, you could make an appointment with my associate. I do not consult with close relatives or partners.”

“Oh, it’s not that. I need to know why Jared was attending here. He didn’t tell me he had a psychological problem.”

“That’s disappointing, but I can’t disclose information about a patient. I’m sure you must be familiar with such privacy policies.”

“But he has passed and can’t tell me himself and besides what privacy does a deceased person need.”

“I understand your feelings, but privacy rules can’t be broken.”

“I don’t need to know details just the basic reason.”

“Do you have proof of his death?”

“Yes, luckily I received his death certificate yesterday.”

Thomas handed over the certificate and waited while the doctor read it. “Do you mind if I make a copy of this for my records?”

“No problem.”

Winston left the room for a couple of minutes. During this time Thomas felt, having offered the death certificate, he might have convinced the doctor to tell him something. When he returned he handed the original back to Thomas and placed the copy in a file on his desk.

“Now you’ve got that, can you tell me something about Jared?”

“Since I have confirmation of his death, I will tell you some basic information only.”

“Anything will help.”

“I presume you know that Jared was ex army and served in the middle east on a number of assignments?”

“Yes, he and his family were quite proud of his military service and it was a feature of his funeral.”

“I can tell you that Jared was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Were you aware of that?”

“No, that is news to me.”

“Not an uncommon occurrence among returned soldiers. Unless they display outward signs, family are often unaware of their condition.”

“Was he improving with treatment?”

“I really can’t say anymore and we only had two previous sessions, so it was early days.”

“Damn, could I have helped, if I’d known?”

“Support and understanding are very important, especially from those close to a sufferer, but there was nothing you could have done if you didn’t know. Normally I would encourage a patient to be open with their partner, but that comes later when the patient has accepted they have a condition. So don’t lay any blame on yourself Thomas.”

“Thank you for the advice, at least that might explain some of his strange behaviour of late.”

“Strange behaviour?”

“Ah, now you want information from me.”

“I’m just interested in completing my notes about Jared. Did he have nightmares, agitation, anxiety, guilt, hostility or exhibit any self-destructive behaviour?”

“Now that you’ve made me think about it, he was a restless sleeper, but never complained about nightmares. He could be irritable at times, especially if pressed on something he didn’t want to talk about.”

“What did you mean when you said strange behaviour?”

Thomas explained about the brother’s relationship, sex, cheating and his love of pain.

“Mmm, interesting. Not a common reaction, normally a loss of interest in pleasure is more common, but we are still learning about this disorder. However, if he was the active partner that could be interpreted as an act of violence. Even in a consensual arrangement, penetration is a violation of another person’s body and that could be a way of acting out violent tendencies. An excessive reliance on sexual pleasure could be a symptom. However the pain fetish is definitely a manifestation of self-loathing.”

“Did you say one of the symptoms was hostility?”

“Yes, did you experience that?”

“Not me, but a few days before his death he was on a trip with his brother and resorted to violence when he was denied sex.”

“What sort of violence?”

“Rape.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but in some way not surprised if he had an over reliance of sexual pleasure to cope. It’s an expected reaction to denial of such. Has the rape been reported to police?”

“No doctor, it was his brother he raped and only happened two days before his death.”

“That is disturbing news. Is his brother in need of help to cope?”

“He has good support from his partner, who has a nursing background, so I’m sure he will lead Justin in the right direction.”

“That’s good and don’t forget to seek help yourself if you feel you are not coping. My colleague may be available or we can recommend another practice.”

“Thank you, it has been some help, just talking to you and now knowing Jared did have a mental condition.”

<>

When Thomas left Winston’s office he stopped at the reception desk to pay for the consultation. “There’s no need Mr Haynes, it will be billed to the Department of Veterans’ Affairs, as usual.”

Winston opened his clinical notes and recorded what he had been told by Thomas. He then added one final note ‘Died in a single car crash????’

***

Thomas did not return to his home but stayed the week with the Prices and helped Virginia and Desmond move into Potts Point.

“You should be very comfortable here” Thomas noted “I’ve never visited here only knew what Andy had told me about it. Very beautifully furnished.”

“It’s not really my taste.” replied Virginia “But it will do for now, Desmond and I will make Mallacoota our main home. It has no past and we will create our own future.”

“Good thinking.”

“Now when are you going back to your home?”

“Soon, I thought I might stay at Crystalline for the rest of the week and help you move to Mallacoota.”

“Very generous of you” replied Desmond “But not necessary, we can manage.”

“Oh, it’s ok. If he wants to help, let him. He needs to be busy.”

“Very well Virginia, if that’s what you want.”

Sensing he may have caused some difficulty between them, Thomas asked “Are you staying here tonight?”

“Yes, I’ve officially left Crystalline. This and Mallacoota are now our homes.”

“Good then I might make tracks and leave you two to settle in. Just let me know when you are going south and I’ll help.”

“Thanks Thomas.”

Farewells were said and when Thomas left, Virginia said to Desmond “What was that about, telling Thomas we don’t need him.”

“We don’t, there’s not much to move, only clothes really.”

“I know that, but Thomas needs to be needed, especially at present. He’s still grieving and I think this is his way of coping. Please go easy on him.”

“Ok, but he really needs to go home and get on with his life.”

“Don’t you dare say that to him. I know Thomas and love him like a son, so if he wants to hang around the family, then he is welcome to.”

“But....”

“No buts Desmond, it’s not negotiable. Thomas’ needs come first for now.”

“You may be right but in the long run, it won’t do him any good to be coddled.”

“Desmond, I love you and usually value your opinion, but in this case, I know what’s best for Thomas. So please let me manage this.”

“Very well, now will it be tea, coffee or champers?”

“I would kill for a cuppa right now and we’ll toast to our new home at dinner. Do we have iced VoVos?”

“I could get some, there must be a grocery store somewhere nearby.”

“Good, I’ll put the kettle on while you go shopping. Then I’m going to put my feet up for a while, before I start unpacking.”

“Deal!”

***

The following week, Thomas helped Virginia and Desmond move to Mallacoota and stayed a week with them, before returning home.

When Andy heard Thomas was to return he arranged for both him and Dean to have the night off, so he could cook dinner to welcome Jared home.

Dean and Andy were both, cooking, singing and dancing around the kitchen when Thomas arrived. They did not hear him until “What’s going on here, some sort of crossover between Masterchef and Dancing with the Stars?”

“Oh bugger, didn’t here you come in Thomas, welcome home.” replied Andy.

“Yes man, so good to see you. We missed you.” added Dean.

“Thank you, but who’s running the bar tonight?”

“Some very capable staff, personally trained by the lovely Dean.” replied Andy “Nothing could stop us from being here for you tonight.”

Dean poured drinks, flopped into the centre of red sofa and patted the cushions either side of him. Andy joined him on the sofa, but Thomas continued to stand. “Come sit with us.” asked Dean.

“I’m ok thanks, been sitting all day, while driving from Victoria.”

“I thought you’d be keen to relax in your favourite place in the house.”

“I’m ok!” Thomas snapped.

Dean excused himself and went back to his kitchen duties, leaving the two old friends to work things out. Andy stood, went over to Thomas, put his arm around him and asked “Does it still hurt mate?”

“Yes and sorry about before. I know you both mean well, but I just don’t want to sit on the sofa now.”

“Memories of Jared?”

“That’s where we first had sex, the day we met.”

“Now you tell me.” Andy replied with a laugh.

“I’m sure he cleaned it afterwards.”

“Would you feel more comfortable sitting there on your own?”

“No, I don’t want to sit there at all, in fact I think I’ll get rid of it.”

“I don’t understand mate, I know you miss him, but don’t things like the sofa, where you first had sex, bring back fond memories?”

“I know it should, but I’m not sure I want fond memories.”

Andy did not reply but looked quizzically at Thomas.

“You don’t have to ask, I can see the confusion in your face. Let’s go out into the garden, unless you need to help Dean.”

“No, he’s more than capable or whipping up a gourmet meal on his own.”

They sat on the lawn and Andy asked “Something you need to talk about?”

“Yes, I think it might help if I share it, instead of keeping it all inside.”

“That’s what I’m here for.”

“Of course I miss Jared, but the last two weeks I’ve discovered things about him that I really didn’t want to know. I thought we shared everything, but it seems not.”

“And these secrets are clouding your fond memories of Jared?”

“They are taking over my views of Jared. He was doing stuff I didn’t know and, in my mind, now overtaking the good stuff. I didn’t really know the man I loved and thought I was sharing my life with.”

Andy just waited for Thomas to continue.

“Last week I spoke to his shrink. It seems he was suffering from PTSD, but didn’t tell me. Why would he keep that secret?”

“I have heard it is common with returned servicemen, that’s why so many take their own lives, but at least he was getting help if he had a shrink.”

“Maybe, but there’s more. I also found out he was having a sexual relationship with someone else.”

“That’s not good, are you sure?”

“I heard it from the man himself.”

“Someone I know.”

“Oh yes, we all know him. It was Justin.”

“His half brother?”

“Yes, the same. Not only was he cheating on our relationship but with a sibling. There’s a name for that.”

“When was this?”

“On the day of their father’s funeral, when they were drunk.”

“Probably just some drunken experimentation when they were grieving.”

“That might be how it started, but it continued right up until the accident. You know these trips they went on, well they were excuses to get it on with each other.”

“Fuck! What has Justin got to say for himself?”

“He’s sorry about it, in fact he put an end to it the day before the accident.”

“Well that’s good, isn’t it?”

“On Justin’s part maybe, but as a result of that Jared tied him up and raped Justin in the desert.”

“How did you find out all this?”

“Justin confessed, right there on that sofa. I suspect Craig made him tell me.”

“And you believe Justin entirely?”

“What reason would he have for making it up?”

“Yeah, what a story, no wonder your heads in a mess. But I’ll keep it to myself.”

“No need to, tell Dean, I want everyone to know what he was really like. I could barely restrain myself at the funeral, when people said all those nice thinks about him. If they only knew the real Jared. Even his parents said he kept parts of his life in different boxes, but of course they haven’t had the opportunity to unpack some of those boxes yet.”

“You’re not going to tell them, are you?”

“I suppose not, I’ll let them live in ignorance and have a squeaky clean image of their beloved Jared.”

“Best thing to do.”

“You know I don’t want to stay in this house anymore, despite owning half of it.”

“I didn’t know you two owned it jointly.”

“No we didn’t, but his parents are giving me half and want me to buy the other half from them.”

“Are you going to go ahead with that?”

“At first I was excited about it and thought it was very generous of them, but there’s too many memories here now and not all good ones.”

“Have you accepted their offer?”

“Yes, and I think I deserve it, so I will buy the other half and then resell it immediately.”

“Whatever you feel is best for you.”

“Yeah, I’ll be happy to take the money and run. That’ll get back at the bastard.”

Thomas felt better after his talk with Andy and the decision he made during the conversation. When they went back into the house for a top up, Dean said “Dinner’s ready guys, at the table please.”

<>

During dinner, Andy asked Thomas “Is it ok if I tell Dean about the house and what you intend to do?”

“Of course.”

After Andy and Thomas explained about Thomas’ decision to sell the house, Dean suggested “Maybe we could buy it, our hunt for an apartment isn’t going all that well so far. We’ve been to a few auctions, but the Chinese always outbid us. They seem to have a crazy amount of money to spend and push the prices way over what they’re worth.”

“Probably a bit early to ask Thomas about that.” said Andy.

“No that’s ok. It’ll be a few months yet but I’ll keep it in mind. In fact I’d love to see you two get it. After all it has been your home for a while Andy.”

“Thanks Thomas. Do you mind if I get a valuation done. It’s obviously worth more than an apartment, so we need to be sure we can raise that much.”

“That’s a great idea, in fact what if I go you halves in the valuation fee as I can then use it as a starting point when negotiating with Shirley and Don.”

“Seems like a winning situation all ‘round.” concluded Dean.