Catering With Benefits (3) - An Appetite for More - 51. Christmas Day

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The three flatmates shared a light breakfast on Christmas morning, during which Dean asked “Where are you going to spend the day, Thomas?”

“I think we’ll have a session in the Jared’s studio this morning and then go over to Crystalline for the rest of the day.”

A nervous Dean then asked “And when you say we, you mean....?”

“Jared and me, of course.”

“Oh that’s a relief. I thought you might mean....”

“Oh no, I don’t need your help, now I’m with Jared.”

“That’s good, have fun together.”

“Yes.” added Andy “Have fun, but be careful, won’t you?”

“Of course we will be careful. Jared’s an expert at this, you know that.”

“It just slipped my mind for a moment.”

<>

After breakfast, to distract Thomas as long as possible, Andy asked if he would mind doing the dishes while he and Dean cleaned the barbecue in preparation for their lunch.

“No problem. Won’t take me long, then I’ll be in the studio for a while.”

<>

What do we do about him today? While he’s here we can keep an eye on him, but when he leaves, who know what he’ll get up to.” asked Dean.

“We just have to trust him.”

“I suppose so, but I’ll worry about him.”

“Me too, but I can’t keep him locked up.”

“Honestly I think that’s what he needs, but in a mental hospital.”

<>

In Jared’s studio, Thomas was preparing for his session. “I know I haven’t done this before, so I’ll need you to keep an eye on me. I’ve watched you and I’m pretty sure what to do.”

He took the silver box off the shelf and placed it gently on the low table, then stripped off and sat on a box. He pulled the small table closer and opened the box. “I think I’ll just do one in each ball this morning, then when we get to the gym....well who knows how many I might do. Tell me if I’m not doing it right.”

Thomas removed a short surgical needle and removed the safety cover. “I’ll keep the longer ones for later, ok?” Then he pricked the side of his right testicle with the needle, waited a few seconds, smiled and said “Here I go.” as he pushed the needle in half its length. “Ah, feels great.” He then selected a second needle and did the same to his left testicle. Then he sat back and looked at his work. “Look great don’t they honey? Do you want me to do more?”

When he got confirmation, he selected two more short needles and this time pushed then into the top of each testicle.

“Hey they look so great, I’m gonna take a selfie and send it to some friends later.”

Photographic record completed, he put down the phone leaned back and admired his pierced testicles. “You know what Jared, I think this scene would be perfectly set in balance if I ....wait where did you put that sounding rod you bought me?”

As he stood up, his testicles dropped and jiggled about as he looked on the shelves for the sounding rod. “Ah here it is. Now get me hard and then I’ll insert it the full twelve inches to show how much I love you.”

***

“I’ll be off now.” Thomas said to Andy.

“So you’ve finished your session in the studio. All went well?”

“Perfectly, but I’ve got bigger plans for later when we get to Jared’s gym.”

“Ok, drive carefully, there’ll be lots of drunks on the road today.”

“No problem and you guys have a great Christmas day.”

“Thank you and you too.” concluded Andy.

<>

Andy then went out to Dean, on the deck. “Thomas’ gone for the day.”

“No dramas in the pain room?”

“I guess not, he sounded relaxed and happy. He even seemed excited about his plans for the day.”

“That’s a relief. Maybe he’s just talking to Jared now and not engaging in....well you know what.”

“Hope so. Now that you’ve got that hotplate looking as good as new, maybe you deserve a reward.”

“Yeah, I thought it was time to crack open a bottle.”

“I was rather thinking of opening a crack.”

“You cheeky bugger.”

Andy then dropped his pants, turned and said “Is this enough cheek for you?”

***

Over the previous few days the Mallacoota region had filled with campers and other tourists, determined to celebrate Christmas with their families, regardless of fires nearby. The people of eastern Australia were not ignorant of the dangers of fire, but growing up and living with the regular threat of bushfires, many develop a ‘she’ll be right’ attitude. It’s a bit like the threat of shark attacks. You know when you go surfing that you are entering the domain of a predator, but it doesn’t stop one from surfing. When terrorism first threatened Australia, the Prime Minister of the time coined the phrase, be alert not alarmed. This is pretty much the attitude Australians have always had towards bushfires.

<>

Virginia and Desmond’s Christmas Day was a muted affair. They just had toast and tea for breakfast after Virginia refused Desmond’s offer of a champagne and orange juice breakfast.

Virginia prepared breakfast while Desmond scaled the fish.

The amount of smoke in the area had increased overnight, so Desmond said they should keep the house closed to keep the air inside as smoke-free as possible.

“Desmond, I’m getting a bit worried about this fire. You don’t think it will come this close, do you.”

“There’s no warning yet, but I’ll turn on the TV and see what the latest is.”

For the Gippsland district there was a serious warning about the extreme heat on the horizon.

Just as Virginia was pouring tea they heard the following report ‘Country fire authorities advise that the fire in Wingam River area is now out of control and generating its own weather. The town of Mallacoota is now on a watch and act warning.’

“What should we do Des? I’ve never been this close to a fire before.”

“Don’t worry so, it’s only a watch and act warning, they’ll tell us if it gets more serious.”

“I hope so, this is not how I wanted to spend our first Christmas together. Besides, what do they mean watch and how are we expected to act? ”

“They mean be aware of what’s happening around you and be prepared to leave if it becomes necessary.”

“Maybe I should pack some things.”

“Just basic things like valuables, phones and drinks.”

<>

Desmond cooked the fish to perfection, Virginia threw some lettuce leaves and tomato in a salad bowl and left it on the bench where it wilted and was a sorry sight by lunch time when Desmond had the seared prawns ready to add.

“Why didn’t you put more ingredients in the salad or at least put it in the fridge to keep crisp?”

“What?’ she asked lazily.

“The salad looks woeful, what’s wrong?”

“Des, how can you think of food at a time like this?”

“It’s Christmas Day and I’ve baked a whole snapper with herb and lemon stuffing. You’ll love it.”

“I’m not really hungry, you eat it. All I can think of is the fire and our safety.

“They went to bed that night, knowing they would probably get little sleep.”

***

With bushfires over most of the east coast, state leaders sought meetings with the national leader, Prime Minister Morrison. Initially his parliamentary office denied he was away, but none of the state leaders could arrange a meeting with him. It was initially assumed he may have been at his family home in Sydney or holidaying in a regional area. This piqued the interest of the national media who eventually found him secretly holidaying in Hawaii with his family.

After being photographed at a Honolulu resort, he was accused of deserting the country at a time of an unprecedented crisis so he issued a statement saying he would be returning to Sydney as soon as possible given the tragic event.

He belatedly expressed 'deep regret' for any offence caused by taking leave with his family over the past week. However, in the following weeks, whenever he tried to visit fire affected areas he was shunned by locals who could not forgive his thoughtless actions. Video of weary firefighters and angry locals, who lost everything, refusing to shake hands with him, were shown on national television and went viral on social media.

***

Christmas in France was eight hours behind Sydney so Lachlan and Jonathan were just welcoming their guests, Bernard and his friend Bridget, plus their neighbours, Anders and Henri, when Jonathan received a phone call.

“Excuse me, this looks like an Australian number, I had better take it, probably some friends to wish me a Merry Christmas.”

While Jonathan was away, Lachlan topped up everyone’s glass and passed around canapés he had prepared himself.

<>

“Yes, this is Jonathan Price, who’s calling?”

“I am Rod Plummer, area patrol officer for Sentinel Security. Are you the owner of the property known as Crystalline, on Bells road?”

“Yes, is there a problem at my property?”

“Yes Mr Price. We had been advised that all residents were away for the holidays, so when I was on my regular patrol I entered the property because I found the front gate unlocked. That was when I noticed lights on at the garage and thought there may be an intruder or car thief. I know you have some expensive vehicles there.”

“So what did you find?”

“I went upstairs above the garage, where it seems you have some exercise equipment.”

“Yes, that’s right, our home gym. Was anyone there?”

“I found a young man collapsed on the floor and in a strange state, so I called an ambulance.”

“Did he injure himself breaking in?”

“Not exactly...well I don’t think so. Anyway the paramedics are attending to him now.”

“Have you called the police to arrest him?”

“That is why I am calling you. The young man claims he has the right to be here.”

“Nonsense, the place should be locked up when all the family and staff are away for the holidays.”

“But he claims he is family. He’s not speaking very coherently so I checked his wallet and his name is Steadman, Thomas Steadman.”

“Oh, that’s different. He is family of sorts, but anyway he does have his own keys to the property and it’s ok for him so be there. Although, I was unaware he was going there. Wait, I remember now, he sold his home so he probably went there when he returned from his holiday with us in France. So, yes he has my authority to be at the property. But how did he injure himself, can I speak to him. Put him on the phone.”

“That’s not possible at the moment Mr Price. He’s almost unconscious, I’m not sure if it’s from his injuries or the pain medication he has been given. Anyway the paramedics are just taking him away by stretcher.”

“Can you tell me the nature of his injuries?”

“Ahh...that’s a bit difficult, I’m not a medical person. I have a first aid certificate, but that’s the extent of my medical knowledge.”

“I’m not interested in you. Surely you can tell me if he’s broken a limb or hit his head, or bleeding or something.”

“That’s just...it’s not those things... although he was bleeding when I found him.”

“Bleeding from where, for Christ’s sake tell me something, it can’t be that difficult.”

“Well Sir...he seems to have injured his...how shall I put this?”

“In plain English would be good.”

“His balls...that’s all I can say, I have to go now. Shall I lock up the property for you?”

“Yes, of course you should do that. Thomas will have keys somewhere, use those if necessary and keep them in a safe place until I can arrange for them to be collected from your company.”

“No problem Mr Price, I’ll take care of it and thank you for entrusting Sentinel Security with safeguarding your property.”

“Yes, good job Rod.”

***

Andy and Dean enjoyed their first Christmas day together. It turned out Dean was a good barbecue cook as well as being Andy’s favourite bar tender. They both over indulged in food and wine so by ten pm they were ready for an early night.

They had barely laid their heads on the pillows when there was a loud knock on the front door.

“Who the fuck is that, knocking so loudly.” asked a shocked Dean.

“Probably some drunken neighbours. I had a few casual invitations to drop in for a drink, but I didn’t take them seriously.”

“Just ignore them and they’ll go away.”

The knocking continued and eventually they heard “It’s the police here, please answer the door.”

“Fuck, what do the cops want?” asked Dean.

“No idea, but I better go see.” Andy was heading down the hallway naked when he noticed his state of undress. As he headed back to the bedroom, Dean was standing in the doorway waving a pair of Andy’s boxer shorts.

“Good thinking, don’t want to get run in for exposing myself to the force.”

As he continued back down the hall he called “Coming, no need to knock down the door.”

“Good evening Sir.” said the young officer “Is this the home of....” he looked at his note book, then continued “...one Thomas Steadman?”

“It used to be his home, now he’s just staying here temporarily but he’s not here now. Why are you looking for him?”

“We’re not looking for him, we’re trying to find his next of kin.”

“Fuck...sorry officer...has he had an accident?”

“Something like that. Does he have a partner or other family living here?”

“No his partner died a few months ago, tell me what’s happened.”

“Can you tell me your name and the nature of your relationship with Mr Steadman?”

“I’m Andy Murphy his closest and oldest friend. Tell me is he injured or something?”

“Mr Steadman is in Westmead hospital due to injuries sustained....we think...in what seems like...some bizarre sexual ritual.”

“Fuck! Oh sorry again.”

“It’s allright Mr Murphy, we hear it all the time and know it’s just from shock.”

“Westmead, you say. Then I’ll go out there immediately.”

“Very well, I’ll let the medical staff know to expect you.”

“By the way, how did you know this was his address?”

“From his driver’s licence.”

“Of course, he probably hasn’t changed it, since he sold us the house.”

Andy could feel Dean’s breath on his neck, he was standing so close. “What’s happened to Thomas.” he asked.

“I’ll explain in a moment. Is that all officer?”

“Yes Sir, I’ll leave you now and I’m sure the medical staff will explain more to you than I can.”

“Thank you for letting us know officer.”

<>

While Dean put the kettle on, Andy tried to explain what he heard from the police.

“He said Thomas was injured in some bizarre sexual ritual.”

“With whom?”

“He didn’t say there was anybody else.”

“Then I know what that’s code for.”

“You don’t think he went there to do more ball torture?”

“Sounds like that, but we’ll only find out for sure when we get to the hospital. Where is he?”

“Westmead.”

“Fuck that’s a long way out.”

“Probably the closest major hospital to Castle Hill.”

“We’ll have a cuppa and then head out west.” suggested Dean.

<>

Upon arrival at the hospital, they were given the third degree about their relationship to Thomas, by the receptionist, and eventually told to wait till a doctor was available to talk to them.

As they sat down, Dean said “Christ, if she ever loses her job here she could be door bitch at the roughest dyke club in Sydney.”

“Only doing her job, what with privacy laws and all that.”

“Yeah but, being a hospital, a little compassion wouldn’t go astray.”

After waiting thirty minutes, Dean asked “Want a coffee? There’s probably a machine somewhere in this prison that dispenses black liquid of some kind.”

“Yeah, why not. I need something to keep me awake.”

<>

Another thirty minutes later they had finished their coffee, Dean had shredded the paper coffee cup into a ribbon almost a metre long and was tapping his feet impatiently on the floor.

“Will you relax, you’re starting to make me edgy.”

“Sorry, it’s just that I hate hospitals. If you’re a patient they make you wait in A&E till you’ve just about bled out. Then when you get admitted and don’t die they don’t want you to leave as long as the insurance payments keep rolling in.”

“Where did this attitude come from?”

“Experience! I spent far too much time in hospitals as a kid.”

“I didn’t know that, what was wrong with you?”

“Not as a patient. My step dad was always breaking his leg and each time spent months laid up in traction. It got so that when he was at home it felt like he was just visiting for a while.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but treatment methods have improved.”

“I hope so. You know apart from him, every time a relative of mine was admitted to a hospital they were always sent home in a box.”

This discussion of the hospital system was interrupted by an orderly calling “Any relatives of Mr Steadman here?”

“Yes me.” replied Andy.

“Please come with me Sir.”

They were ushered into a small interview room and waited a further twenty minutes till a doctor arrived. He looked at Andy and Dean then asked “Which one of you is Jared?”

“Neither, Jared died in a car accident three months ago. But why are you asking?”

“The patient keeps asking for Jared, I assumed they must be close.”

“Jared was Thomas’ partner and of late he seems to think Jared is still here.”

“Ah that helps, thank you for that information.”

“Apart from that can you tell us what happened to Thomas and his condition now?”

“The patient ruptured one of his testicles by puncturing them with long needles. We have stabilised him, stopped the bleeding and given him pain relief.”

“Will he recover completely?”

“Almost. Time, rest and antibiotics will heal the testicles, but I am now concerned about his mental state and his chances of siring offspring are somewhat reduced.”

“I don’t think the latter will be a problem for him. Can we see him now?”

“You can see him when he his moved into a ward, but you won’t be able to communicate with him. We have him on a tranquiliser to keep him pain free. Over the next few days we’ll reduce that and then oral pain relief should be sufficient. When he is fully conscious I will order a psych consult. But given this is holiday season, it may take some time to find a consultant.”

“When is he likely to be released from hospital?”

“Normally in a case like this three or four days, provided the patient has care at home. But I am not prepared to release him until he has a complete psych assessment. Then depending on the results of that, he could be moved to a mental facility, especially if he is deemed to be at risk of self harm.”

“I would still like to see him Doctor, if that’s possible.”

“I can arrange that. Just wait here and I will get a nurse to accompany you. He is still in ICU, but I see no reason why you can’t have a quick visit. But remember he is heavily sedated.”

“Thank you for the information.”