poetry Poetry Prompt 18 – Rubaiyat

[Emi GS]

It is not easy to see people die in front of our eyes. I have gone through that when my uncle and my cousin are died, even though I spent 2months in hospital to take care of them. I hope that's enough to write this prompt. And if anything comes to my mind, I am gonna dedicate that to both of them.

 

But its not as easy as it looks... To write and to live with...

[AC Benus]

It is not easy to see people die in front of our eyes. I have gone through that when my uncle and my cousin are died, even though I spent 2months in hospital to take care of them. I hope that's enough to write this prompt. And if anything comes to my mind, I am gonna dedicate that to both of them.

 

But its not as easy as it looks... To write and to live with...

Okay, Emi. No need to rush in; you tackle it when you feel you are ready.

[Emi GS]

Okay, Emi. No need to rush in; you tackle it when you feel you are ready.

So much went on those two months. It is hard to dwell with, after all I am just a human too. But I had learn to stay strong. I'll be fine Ben, and Thank You...

[Roberto Zuniga]

AC I loved this challenge!

 

Here's "The clothing", my response to prompt 18 Rubaiyat

[Emi GS]

AC I loved this challenge!

Here's "The clothing", my response to prompt 18 Rubaiyat

A Lovely Poem Robby. I Read, Liked and reviewed.

[Mikiesboy]

Okay click here for mine.  I'm still not sure about the second one ... but in for a penny... 

Edited February 19, 2016 by Mikiesboy

[Emi GS]

Okay click here for mine.  I'm still not sure about the second one ... but in for a penny...

 

Read, Liked and Reviewed. They are so beautiful Tim2. You have done a good job. See who's saying, your unprofessional Eminent...

[Mikiesboy]

Read, Liked and Reviewed. They are so beautiful Tim2. You have done a good job. See who's saying, your unprofessional Eminent...

Emi, i'm no professional, believe me.  Thank you for your comments though, I appreciate it. 

[Emi GS]

Emi, i'm no professional, believe me.  Thank you for your comments though, I appreciate it.

 

Its fine, and you're way better than me. And your Rubaiyat is fine and perfect.

[Mikiesboy]

Its fine, and you're way better than me. And your Rubaiyat is fine and perfect.

Well let's see what AC says when he reads it. I feel that something is off...we'll see! Laterz!

[AC Benus]

AC I loved this challenge!

 

Here's "The clothing", my response to prompt 18 Rubaiyat

Roberto! It's awesome that you took to this form so wonderfully well. I can see you returning to it time and time again, which makes me very happy. "Clothing" is an amazing poem, and I left a review for you

[AC Benus]

Okay click here for mine.  I'm still not sure about the second one ... but in for a penny... 

Tim, I'm impressed by both of your Rubaiyat. Well done! And I've left a review for you on the actual posting.  

[Roberto Zuniga]

Roberto! It's awesome that you took to this form so wonderfully well. I can see you returning to it time and time again, which makes me very happy. "Clothing" is an amazing poem, and I left a review for you

 

Thank you AC!

[Carlos Hazday]

By now everyone should be well aware I'm a philistine as it relates to poetry. But...

 

Do what thy manhood bids thee do,

from none but self expect applause;

He noblest lives and noblest dies

who makes and keeps his self-made laws.

 

All other Life is living Death,

a world where none but Phantoms dwell,

A breath, a wind, a sound, a voice,

a tinkling of the camel-bell.

 

A small sample of my favorite epic poem: The Kasidah of Haji Abdu El-Yezdi

'written' by Haji Abdu El-Yezdi, 'translated' by Sir Richard Francis Burton

 

If I could only write like that.

[Mikiesboy]

By now everyone should be well aware I'm a philistine as it relates to poetry. But...

 

Do what thy manhood bids thee do,

from none but self expect applause;

He noblest lives and noblest dies

who makes and keeps his self-made laws.

 

All other Life is living Death,

a world where none but Phantoms dwell,

A breath, a wind, a sound, a voice,

a tinkling of the camel-bell.

 

A small sample of my favorite epic poem: The Kasidah of Haji Abdu El-Yezdi

'written' by Haji Abdu El-Yezdi, 'translated' by Sir Richard Francis Burton

 

If I could only write like that.

Carlos, you're too hard on yourself. No one likes every poem, but you'll find some. It's so cool to see you post here!!

[Parker Owens]

I post this with tongue firmly in cheek. Nonetheless, it does kind of fit the form...

 

I gave my muse a little shake

in fervent hope she might awake.

Instead, she groaned, "Oh, go to hell!

Just let me sleep, for goodness sake!"

 

I tried again, I blush to tell;

her face was red, I thought she'd yell.

Not so: this time she slapped my face!

It hurt - she really rang my bell.

 

You'd think by now I'd learned my place;

but no, my muse I would embrace.

She roughly pushed me to the side,

and pulled the covers up in haste.

 

By now, my muse had hurt my pride.

"I'll write my own damn verse!" I cried.

I never thought I'd undertake

to write without her at my side.

[AC Benus]

 

I post this with tongue firmly in cheek. Nonetheless, it does kind of fit the form...

 

I gave my muse a little shake

in fervent hope she might awake.

Instead, she groaned, "Oh, go to hell!

Just let me sleep, for goodness sake!"

 

I tried again, I blush to tell;

her face was red, I thought she'd yell.

Not so: this time she slapped my face!

It hurt - she really rang my bell.

 

You'd think by now I'd learned my place;

but no, my muse I would embrace.

She roughly pushed me to the side,

and pulled the covers up in haste.

 

By now, my muse had hurt my pride.

"I'll write my own damn verse!" I cried.

I never thought I'd undertake

to write without her at my side.

 

It's wonderful, Parker!

[AC Benus]

 

I post this with tongue firmly in cheek. Nonetheless, it does kind of fit the form...

 

I gave my muse a little shake

in fervent hope she might awake.

Instead, she groaned, "Oh, go to hell!

Just let me sleep, for goodness sake!"

 

I tried again, I blush to tell;

her face was red, I thought she'd yell.

Not so: this time she slapped my face!

It hurt - she really rang my bell.

 

You'd think by now I'd learned my place;

but no, my muse I would embrace.

She roughly pushed me to the side,

and pulled the covers up in haste.

 

By now, my muse had hurt my pride.

"I'll write my own damn verse!" I cried.

I never thought I'd undertake

to write without her at my side.

 

This poem is accomplished. You bring a lyricism to most everything you write, and it's a joy to read. Below the surface, the concept of muse as a sleeping, indifferent person who needs to be coaxed to passion – a la sex – is so original and striking.

 

I also love the poet's resolve at the end that self-love matters most

 

Great job!

[Puppilull]

 

I post this with tongue firmly in cheek. Nonetheless, it does kind of fit the form...

 

I gave my muse a little shake

in fervent hope she might awake.

Instead, she groaned, "Oh, go to hell!

Just let me sleep, for goodness sake!"

 

I tried again, I blush to tell;

her face was red, I thought she'd yell.

Not so: this time she slapped my face!

It hurt - she really rang my bell.

 

You'd think by now I'd learned my place;

but no, my muse I would embrace.

She roughly pushed me to the side,

and pulled the covers up in haste.

 

By now, my muse had hurt my pride.

"I'll write my own damn verse!" I cried.

I never thought I'd undertake

to write without her at my side.

 

 

Your rubaiyat made me smile. The form does lend itself nicely to the more humorous poems. At the same time, I get the struggles to get the muse going. I agree with the end. When those voices are quite, you just have to write nonetheless. The muse will wake up and get jealous that the writing goes on with him/her. 

[Parker Owens]

Here is a more serious attempt at answering the actual prompt. It's inspired by the short film and story in an oddish sort of way...

 

Is there some golden quantum universe

where all my darkest choices are rehearsed?

And learning now what lies in consequence

may I now choose the path of lesser curse?

 

The mathematics surely are intense

but finding nearer worlds in consonance

enables me to leap from where I stand

and from a hangman's noose awaiting hence.

 

I make that leap in physics to that land

where I may yet have options at command;

a cosmos where my fate's unwritten still

and I may yet enjoy the life I planned.

 

Suppose each life leads up a different hill

and from my rocky outcrop I may thrill

to see a thousand thousand distant peaks

where other selves watch me in shadow chill.

[Aditus]

Originally I wanted to post my four-lined Khayyám-style Rubaiyat here, but I feel there needs to be space to comment on your amazing Schrödinger/Einstein poem first. I don't want to talk about rhymes, beats or syllables, but how it calls to the muscular organ that pumps blood through the blood vessels of my circulatory system and my nerdy brain. Bravo! 

[Puppilull]

I guess emotional overload can work in different ways..? It's a very interesting rubaiyat, dealing with imminent death by turning it scientific.

 

Where I was drowning in my emotion and almost couldn't finish, you seem to have taken another approach. AC really found inspiration that stirred us.

[Parker Owens]

@Adi - This is what happens when emotions are mixed with math teachers. You get nerds like me.

@Puppi - I wonder if I would face death this way; as an observer in an oddly detached fashion. Of course, Bierce wasn't a sci-fi writer, but this approach made me wonder about the quantum what-ifs...

[Aditus]

First part: A four-lined Khayyám-style Rubaiyat:

 

 

The promise you made that night with your word,

your body, became music in my blood,

and let me form lines of songs yet unheard

to  open the cage and free my black bird.

[AC Benus]

Here is a more serious attempt at answering the actual prompt. It's inspired by the short film and story in an oddish sort of way...

 

Is there some golden quantum universe

where all my darkest choices are rehearsed?

And learning now what lies in consequence

may I now choose the path of lesser curse?

 

The mathematics surely are intense

but finding nearer worlds in consonance

enables me to leap from where I stand

and from a hangman's noose awaiting hence.

 

I make that leap in physics to that land

where I may yet have options at command;

a cosmos where my fate's unwritten still

and I may yet enjoy the life I planned.

 

Suppose each life leads up a different hill

and from my rocky outcrop I may thrill

to see a thousand thousand distant peaks

where other selves watch me in shadow chill.

Standing on a cliff – but a celestial one. Here you have written an awesome poem what sweeps through dimensions and time as if they are irrelevant. And ultimately, I suppose faith means a belief that those elements do not matter when we are free of this life.

 

There is such longing in this poem, and such familiarity too; the beautiful paradigm of 'what if' played out in alternate realms of reality.

 

I have tried to touch on these themes a few times before, but I have never come even a quarter of the way to match this poem.

 

It is beautiful and amazing, and the use of the Rubaiyat form seems to open it up and display your concept for us like a mathematical flower (or, better yet, a Fibonacci sequence). By doing so, you both humble and exhilarate this reader. Bravo!