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  • Aditus

    Talk Talk

    By Aditus

    Conversations. Sometimes it’s too much, sometimes too little, formal, informal, clumsy, artificial, with another word: difficult. Let’s practice, Shall we? #253 Someone is on the bus. The guy beside them fidgets the whole time with an irritating tinkling bangle while telling them, it seems, their entire life story, including very personal things. It’s time to pop in the earbuds. When it’s time to get off the bus, the talker has disappeared and the strange bangle is now on th
    • 2 comments
    • 60 views
Demetz

Changing Plans

Okay, first on the agenda today: my job. I'm not especially happy working at the restaurant. If a table comes in and can't figure out what the hell they want until the next table is in too, its like having double-duty. Top that up with having to put together all their salads myself and fetch countless little things for them that don't come with the meal and only some items go through the computer, but most don't so I have to remember when to punch stuff through....   Ugh.   I'm told breakfas
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Hit Weight Goal, yay!

Hey GA old-timers. Long time no blog. I haven't been on GA as much as I used to for many reason (mostly cause Dom has been quiet), but also because for the last three and 1/2 months, I've been on a serious diet and workout kick. Well last tuesday, I hit my weight goal and lost 40 lbs.   You see, sometime after thanksgiving, I weighed myself and hit a number I hadn't seen in years. Due to a combination of old age, slowing metabolism, and just poor eating (curses you Carl's Jr), I gained 25 and
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Demetz

days of... huh?

Okay, so monday, i go out with my friend and her fiance. We saw vantage point.... I loved it. President Ashton... has a nice ring to it, lol.   After the movie we went to dinner at Chilis.... I love their Nachos and they have this tasty fruity drink that goes 2 for 1.   After dinner we went driving... didn't really care where we were going... drove all the way to the end of university parkway, then turned around and went the other direction towards the airport. It was during this time that
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Demetz

New Content Block

For my own amusement, I started keeping track of how many new reads and reviews I was getting for each of my stories as well as keeping track of how many new chapters are being put out on a week to week basis... this helps me track how popular stories are in the present, rather than just how many times they have ever been read. My good friend TL The Writing Tiger mentioned that would be an excellent thing to add to a blog... and so I tried to do just that... the thing is, it wouldn't all fit int
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Demetz

Old wounds mostly healed

http://www.gayauthors.org/efiction/viewsto...&chapter=11   I wrote this several months ago, but at that time I could not quite bring myself to actually post it among the other poems I have written for Silven... however, as time has passed, and much of the pain has eased, I think it may be suitable after all. Its not the happiest poem, it certainly took a lot out of me, though at that time it was more reflecting pain already present... even in pain though, and perhaps its just the survivali
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Demetz

A conclusion reached

I've made a few philosophical decisions about how I'm going to live my life from now on, based on certain experiences, and grand disappointments that I've had.   First I'd like to say I won't be giving up on love itself, as I'd been pondering doing just yesterday. That's still just not the kind of life I want to live.   What I am doing though, as a matter of preserving my own personal dignity and self-respect, is throwing aside a certain path I was traveling too often. I will no longer be p
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Hiatus.

Addendum   I find myself falling more and more into an emotional wreck. When that happens, I'm going to go offline so as not to do/say things to push people away.
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Okay, so its been a while...

A general update on things....   Gavin and I are friends, and not more. His low sex drive and disinterest in the romantic did not make him a good match for me for a boyfriend... we're still friends though. I actually just got him a job working at the same theater I'm working at.   Oh yeah, I got a job working at a theater. The pay sucks, but I do like the job and the people I work with.   I'm looking at a job elsewhere, if I can go to work as a waiter in a restaurant around here, I think
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Constitution v Law

In seeking to find out information concerning the legal status of an immigrant to the united states who marries someone of the same sex in Massachusetts, I came across this section of the US legal code which rather perplexed me....  
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Wow...Annoying

Wow, during all my time here at GA, I don't think I've ever felt this annoyed about the number of posts that have been appearing that don't add any value to the threads they're part of.   I'm no saint, and I'm sure I've been guilty of a post going off topic or one that really doesn't add value, but the amount of chaff nowadays is overwhelming what little wheat there is hidden in the threads.   When I'd hear complaints in the past about other posts or posters, I'd usually tell other members
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My mother...shoot me

I had visited my folks this past weekend, staying over saturday night.   I chatted with my mom several times, and at one point she was talking about how lovely San Francisco was as she was there this past summer. She mentioned that I should go there, even made a comment about how I should move there . Okay....that's from out in left field.   Then she starts chatting about a friend of hers, someone who she went to highschool with back in the stone ages. It turns out that this woman confid
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Demetz

Letting go of old loves

There is something that must be done before one can move on from a broken up relationship, and that is to let go. It has bothered me that now more than a month after Dwayne and I broke up, I still think about him everyday... still play through conversations in my head... I need to stop that, but to do so, I needed to understand why I was still doing it. What I came up with as an answer is that although the relationship was broken up, I was still holding on to something... it wasn't hope of getti
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Finishing College; Moving forward

Warning: This blog may contain graphic contact and/or TMI. Read at your own risk.   So this week is my last week of undergraduate school. Papers, exams..... blah. Just so glad to be done with it all.   Saturday I walk the stage, sometime in January I'll have my Bachelor's degree in hand....   From here, I don't know where I'm going to go. I'm still going to apply to the University of Pennsylvania, though I'd rather go to Princeton. I'm going to be applying to a bunch of grad schools actual
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I had a dream about Domluka

Wow, you know it's bad when you start dreaming about Dom   Last night I had a very vivid dream about Dom. I don't usually remember my dreams, but this one stuck out.   So anyway, here's what I remember...   It starts out with me checking GA and finding that Dom has blogged again. I was sooo excited, that I considered updating my signature to say 'Domluka has reemerged again', but decided it was more important to read his latest blog entry.   Dom said a few things, like why he was busy
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Demetz

Gavin.... :)

Today started off like many other days... I woke up, looked around, wondered whether I was already late for class, looked at the clock and saw that I was not, and then was faced with the decision of whether to go, or not to go. I went. I'm glad I did, actually. My microeconomics professor had our exams back... I got a 63 out 100 points. Normally this might be something to feel devastated by. However, as the average grade was in the low 30s, a 31 point curve boosed my grade to a 94... which means
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Demetz

Initial Results: I'm HIV- ; but I'm crying anyway

I'll get the rest of my test results back on Friday. I got the results for my HIV test back today: I'm non-reactive. Now, I'm really wishing I hadn't gone to see Dwayne in September because if I hadn't I wouldn't have had to do what I did next.   I left a tagline on my instant messenger relating that I was HIV -. He came online and asked me what the message meant. The rest of the conversation went like this:     His status is always set to appear offline so I don't know how much of that he
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STD Testing; Sonogram results

So today I went in for a consultation, talked with a doctor about various things concerning safe sex, and talked about the various dieseases they could test for and whether I want each of the tests.   I decided to be tested for them all.   Dwayne if you're reading this, I'm not writing it to hurt you... I don't know what I can or can not believe about what happened between us. I have asked you to tell me... its your decision to do so or not. If you leave me to put the pieces together with pi
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A revealing talk with Dwayne

So, tonight, against my better judgment, I went into what I've avoided doing for a long time. Of all the conversations in my head with Dwayne I knew I didn't want to actually say those things to him. Well, tonight against my better judgment I said some, and his reaction was precisely as I predicted it would be... he really doesn't know how to deal with someone emotionally troubled. Eventually though, after blathering on about my feelings and thoughts I said that I was conflicted, and he remarked
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Abortion: part 2

I would like to clarify that when I posted the previous blog I was highly frustrated for having been chewed out just previously for having an opinion on the issue at all. I have various reasons to be indignant about the events transpiring in that situation, but they're ultimately irrelevant to the issue of abortion and merely relate to the irrationality of the person I was misfortunate enough to speak near.   In spite of that person's protest that as a man I don't have a right to an opinion o
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Apparently I'm an evil sexist man for daring to have an opinion on abortion

I think abortion should be permissible in such cases as where the woman's life is endangered by the pregnancy or when raped. I'm also against elective abortion morally, but unwilling to make it illegal.   I hesitate on the issue of abortion for two reasons: 1) The child is conceived without his or her own consent and is innocent, punishing the child with death for a parent's mistake is cruel. 2) The morning after pill can prevent conception and thus make the question of elective abortion irre
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Demetz

New beginnings

These past two days have been incredible.   Two days ago, out looking for a new place to live and a job, I meet this woman who wants to pray for me, so I figure why not? It couldn't hurt. Later, while checking out a place for a job, I meet another guy who's looking for a new place, we talk for a few hours and we think we've got a decent business deal worked out to cut down on our costs to find a place to live. He's not gay... he does have a nice body but not all that cute in the face, and kind
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Cute guy from Spinning Class

So last Tuesday, I went to my first spinning class. For those of you who don't know what spinning is, it's a class at the health club where a group of you ride on these cycle machines and pretent your climbing up and down hill by varying the speed and resistance on the cycles & changing how you are either sitting or gripping the handlebars. Oh and an instructor is constantly yelling at you to turn it up, or pedal faster, shoulders down, tummy in, & stick your ass out!   I've been g
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Demetz

Reflecting on a turbulent past

I wrote this poem some time ago, and I'm posting it again now, with some extra stanzas. It tells my story pretty well I think.   I was walking across a rope bridge Behind me, my life without you Before me, the day I move in with you Below me, no rivine, nor rushing stream Below me lay a vastly wide river Moving warm and slow To nowhere I'd rather go Than the other side.   You were standing on the other side When I saw you disappear, And a moment of confusion crossed my mind When yo
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