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I saw this coming...

AFriendlyFace

Entry posted by AFriendlyFace

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And it really shouldn't bother me...but it sorta does.

 

So you guys remember when I wrote about how I broke up with the ex-boyfriend right after my, then close friend, "broke up" with me because he couldn't handle the fact that I was with the ex-boyfriend because he wanted him too? Well now they're dating!

 

I hadn't seen either of them since the respective break ups, but I'd continued talking on the phone periodically and texting with the ex.

 

Anyway yesterday I went to a gay social function and the former friend was there. No big deal, I pretty much figured he would be, and really it was more his "turf" than mine anyway, in that he's been attending it regularly for much much longer than me. However, it's a public event, a different friend wanted me to go, and I wanted to go, so I figured "screw it, we can practice that whole 'being civil to each other' thing we agreed on".

 

So I was actually having a really fun time, I was sitting at this round table eating with 6 other guys around our age, most of whom were mutual friends of both of us, and apart from my good friend that had talked me into going I hadn't seen any of them for several weeks. SO we were all laughing and talking and having a really good time, and me and former friend were doing pretty good. I mean neither one of us was being rude or sulky, we were both freely interjecting into the conversation and even talking to each other where necessary.

 

Well finally someone makes a remark about Catholics (a neutral remark, not insulting or supportive. Can't even remember what it was) and then jokingly adds, "but of course you, wouldn't feel that" to former friend (who is an atheist). So FF responds, "oh come on, I don't have a problem with them. I am dating Andrew after all" (Andrew is the ex and a Catholic).

:blink:

 

So yeah, that's how I found out. And of course being in a big group of people I had to act unphased by it. But good friend just changed the subject and we went on with things.

 

I just felt...AHHHH. I mean first of all I was just surprised, then a bit angry, then hurt, then I just felt like a fool because I didn't know.

 

So afterward I asked good friend why he didn't tell me, and he said that he only found out last week and that he really felt like it wasn't his place. So yeah, I can see that, and granted it probably wasn't a conversation he particularly wanted to have with me. So I wasn't really mad/hurt that he didn't tell me, and obviously since FF and I have cut all contact he couldn't tell me. No, it's Andrew that needed to tell me, and it's stupid because, YES, it does bother me a little bit, I can't help that, but overall I see that it's really none of my business. It's just that if we're trying to be "friends" I think he needed to tell me.

 

Anyway, apart from the surprise and the hurt that he didn't tell me (and the embarrassment of feeling like the last to know in front of everyone), I guess I really shouldn't care. I mean it really isn't any of my business anymore. Plus, I really could have had Andrew back if I'd wanted to, and in fact I'd even encouraged him to go ahead and talk to FF because I do still care about him, and yes, FF is a good listener and I really thought it would make him feel better (oh look I was right). And the first time he was going to see him after our drama he even said "I won't see him if you don't want me to", so I can't fault him for seeing him, and I'm not an idiot, I realized that this might easily happen. It's just that I didn't know it had.

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B1ue

:hug:

 

Or maybe even :jerry:

 

It's okay to be a bit irrational about it all. Maybe not to the principle parties, since getting them to admit they were wrong won't actually do you any good, and will damage any prospects you'll have of being friends with them down the road. Yes, Andrew or FF should have given you a heads up, knowing damn well that it would bother you, as it would anyone. That they didn't means they're a bit cowardly, but as I said, forcing them to face that isn't going to do anyone any real good. So my advice is to move on from that moment. Remember it, especially if they want to be friends later, but move on.

 

In the meantime, call up the biggest drama queen you know, buy a tub of blackberry ice cream, and spend the afternoon watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You're rational, realist approach is probably healthier, but I have more fun wallowing in the feeling until feeling that way becomes completely ridiculous.

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Meeko
:hug:

 

Or maybe even :jerry:

 

It's okay to be a bit irrational about it all. Maybe not to the principle parties, since getting them to admit they were wrong won't actually do you any good, and will damage any prospects you'll have of being friends with them down the road. Yes, Andrew or FF should have given you a heads up, knowing damn well that it would bother you, as it would anyone. That they didn't means they're a bit cowardly, but as I said, forcing them to face that isn't going to do anyone any real good. So my advice is to move on from that moment. Remember it, especially if they want to be friends later, but move on.

 

In the meantime, call up the biggest drama queen you know, buy a tub of blackberry ice cream, and spend the afternoon watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You're rational, realist approach is probably healthier, but I have more fun wallowing in the feeling until feeling that way becomes completely ridiculous.

 

So since Conner proclaimed me The Biggest Drama Queen he's met, when can i come over and watch buffy???

 

*Hugs* Hang in there Kevin, your heart is made of pure gold, i just wish their were more guys like you in this world!!!

 

But anywho, are we feeling hangoverish yet? you did said some wonderful things last night, i'm sure you won't remember *Giggles*

 

-Mike

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AFriendlyFace

Hey Gabe :)

It's okay to be a bit irrational about it all. Maybe not to the principle parties, since getting them to admit they were wrong won't actually do you any good, and will damage any prospects you'll have of being friends with them down the road. Yes, Andrew or FF should have given you a heads up, knowing damn well that it would bother you, as it would anyone. That they didn't means they're a bit cowardly, but as I said, forcing them to face that isn't going to do anyone any real good. So my advice is to move on from that moment. Remember it, especially if they want to be friends later, but move on.

Well, I really think I'm done with FF, much to the chagrin of good friend since the three of us used to be pretty tight :(

 

It was his decision and I said if he ever wanted to work it out he could look me up. I'm not sure if I still feel that way though. After all this, and the more I think about it, I just don't think what he did to me was fair, even if his intentions weren't to hurt me. He was a good friend, but the more I think about the more I realize that perhaps he was right: our relationship did have several other fundamental flaws, and apart from that I just don't think I could trust him again.

 

Admittedly right now I'm just pissed, but I think even when I'm not anymore - and I will get over it - I'll still feel the same way intellectually.

 

As for Andrew...I don't know why but I just can't be mad at him. Possibly because he's so sweet and guileless. I'm a little hurt and disappointed that he didn't tell me, but at the same time for his sake I really do hope things work out for them, and I definitely still wish him the best. It just couldn't work out between us right now, but in two or three years I'd be happy to try again if we still know each other, are both available, and a few things have changed.

 

The only reason I wouldn't still be his friend, because I do still care about him and trust him, is because of FF (who most definitely hurt me worse in all of this). I just think it would be weird trying to have a meaningful friendship with him while he's dating FF. It's weird, I still care about FF and wish him the best too, and I have no doubt that he wasn't trying to hurt me, nor can I possibly deny what a good friend he was and all the things he did for me. But it really is over as far as I'm concerned...

 

In the meantime, call up the biggest drama queen you know, buy a tub of blackberry ice cream, and spend the afternoon watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You're rational, realist approach is probably healthier, but I have more fun wallowing in the feeling until feeling that way becomes completely ridiculous.

LOL, well I did my own equivalent. I took it easy and treated myself to several things I enjoy :)

 

:hug:

 

Thanks for the kind comment and advice :)

-Kevin

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AFriendlyFace
:hug:

 

Or maybe even :jerry:

 

It's okay to be a bit irrational about it all. Maybe not to the principle parties, since getting them to admit they were wrong won't actually do you any good, and will damage any prospects you'll have of being friends with them down the road. Yes, Andrew or FF should have given you a heads up, knowing damn well that it would bother you, as it would anyone. That they didn't means they're a bit cowardly, but as I said, forcing them to face that isn't going to do anyone any real good. So my advice is to move on from that moment. Remember it, especially if they want to be friends later, but move on.

 

In the meantime, call up the biggest drama queen you know, buy a tub of blackberry ice cream, and spend the afternoon watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. You're rational, realist approach is probably healthier, but I have more fun wallowing in the feeling until feeling that way becomes completely ridiculous.

 

So since Conner proclaimed me The Biggest Drama Queen he's met, when can i come over and watch buffy???

 

*Hugs* Hang in there Kevin, your heart is made of pure gold, i just wish their were more guys like you in this world!!!

 

But anywho, are we feeling hangoverish yet? you did said some wonderful things last night, i'm sure you won't remember *Giggles*

 

-Mike

LOL! You can come over whenever you're ready, Mike! :D Just catch the next plan lol :P

 

And aww, :hug: thanks for the sweet words!

 

Nope, no hangover at all. I'm completely immune to those ;) At worse (and it's almost a plus since it never happens to me otherwise) I wake up early and don't want to go back to sleep.

 

Take care and have an awesome day (well actually I'm talking to ya on MSN anyway :P )

-Kevin

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NaperVic

Awww, poor Kevin :( . No matter how much we don't want it to bug us, it usually does when an ex starts dating someone else.

 

You're only human having a little green monster in you. But while yours is about the size of a flea, mine is a huge mo fo that has public hissy fits :lol: .

 

Anywho, the logical/supportive side of you will prevail.

 

Take Care,

 

Vic

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AFriendlyFace
Awww, poor Kevin :( . No matter how much we don't want it to bug us, it usually does when an ex starts dating someone else.

 

You're only human having a little green monster in you. But while yours is about the size of a flea, mine is a huge mo fo that has public hissy fits :lol: .

 

Anywho, the logical/supportive side of you will prevail.

 

Take Care,

 

Vic

Thanks Vic :):hug:

 

 

 

In other news, I've got some things I need to take care of and I'm going to be away from GA completely until after the New Year.

 

I hope you guys all have a wonderful Christmas, and good luck with everything going on in your lives! :hug:

 

Love ya all ;)

-Kevin

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