Codey -- 1990 to 2007

[Graeme]

I arrived at work today to news I've been dreading. Codey, the author of From the Heart and more poems than I care to mention, passed away on Sunday morning, USA time.

 

Codey - Remembered and Celebrated

 

Codey was a good friend of mine. He wrote a poem for inclusion in my current novel, and we co-wrote one short story together. His essay at the Mail Crew for their Authors Speak section, titled My Two Cents Worth, is an insightful commentary on the nature of friendship.

 

My thoughts go out to his Grandfather, his only surviving blood relation, Tim, his boyfriend, and all their friends and families.

[rknapp]

17 years old? May I ask what happened? Loss is always hard to take and I understand exactly what his boyfriend and family are going through... I went through the same thing a little more than two years ago when my only surviving grandparent passed away -- the only one I ever knew and loved.

 

But, they have some solace in knowing that they had the pleasure of knowing and interacting with him while he was here. The coming weeks will be very difficult for them as the memories come pouring back, so I wish them well.

[Graeme]

17 years old? May I ask what happened?

The following is what Blue (adblue) posted in another thread at Codey's World while Codey was in hospital:

 

A little history on Codey

 

Some of you have asked about Codey's health or offered advice. That's very much appreciated.

 

Tuesday morning, Tim and I talked about it, and well, it's time to tell you some about Codey. Codey has known he or Tim or I would tell you, when he was ready to say it.

 

For a long time now, Codey has wanted most of that to be private, because it is something he has to deal with, but the memories are painful; and because many people both in person and online, have reacted badly to his physical situation and his intelligence. Codey is not the kind of guy who accepts pity. Mostly, he's wanted his privacy, so he could enjoy being himself.

 

He's told a few of us along the way, and some of you have probably noticed a few things too.

 

This isn't hiding the fact that he's who he is, or how he is. This has been his way of coping and having control of his life and his decisions.

 

I am going to try to keep it simple, and I'll try to get across why Codey didn't just immediately say everything, in a way I hope you'll understand. At the same time, I'll try to respect Codey's and Tim's personal space.

 

First off, Codey has had long-term health problems since before any of us online met him. These are not "get well soon," curable things. As much as medical science can heal, any doctor would tell you, much of it is still a mystery, and they try their best.

 

What and why? -- Alright, folks, this is hard to say and it'll be hard to read.

 

Codey was in a severe auto accident when he was almost 12. His parents' minivan was hit by a drunk trucker. His parents and his younger brothers were killed. He survived, and was conscious when he was rescued. Codey had multiple injuries, especially to his head and neck, burns, and various other things. He was in a coma for 47 days, and in the hospital for 19 months. It left him with progressively weakening physical conditions, mostly due to brain and spinal injury. He was severely traumatized and has clinical depression. His condition meant he likely wouldn't make it to 18.

 

Codey wanted to die. He'd figured out he was gay, when he had feelings for one of his roommates. He thought if he told his Gramps, that he wouldn't want him anymore. His Gramps told him that if God had made him gay, then he should be the best gay boy he could be.

 

Codey was able to walk, with crutches.

 

Tim's family were neighbors of Codey's Gramps, and Tim was friends with all of them. Somewhere along the way, Codey and Tim became best friends, and explored, the way many boys do, and they began to love each other.

 

But Codey was still depressed. It is not something that goes away. He attempted suicide, and survived.

 

Tim stuck by him and time passed. During this time, Tim told his family. His family supports them, but his brother no longer speaks to him. Tim and Codey live together and went to school together.

 

In 2004, when he was 14, a bully at school objected to "the gay, crippled kid," and kicked Codey's feet out from under him, in the cafeteria. Codey hit the back of his head, the same place where he'd been injured. The bully was 17, tried as an adult, and given boot camp and probation.

 

In December of 2004, I first saw Codey online. He began a poetry challenge between him, me, and EleCivil. Maybe a week later, he and I had a misunderstanding, and he PMed, and what he said struck me to the core, and I apologized. We became friends and began to IM, and he told me about his accident. At that time, he still had nightmares, and would blank out for a few seconds at a time. We became close friends. He began posting poems which are now hosted at Codey's World. A few weeks later, at Graeme's and my urging, he sent me the first few chapters of a draft of Freefall and another novel that's unfinished. I knew he had something special. I began editing his stories.

 

During 2005, I think it was, Codey had a corrective knee surgery that didn't heal right. He has been in a wheelchair or in bed, since then. In late 2005, he became deeply depressed again and had to be offline a long while. When he came back, he thought I'd hate "the crazy kid" and wouldn't want anything to do with him. But I didn't feel that way at all; I'd almost attempted suicide, before coming out.

 

Codey also had some trouble online. But because so much of his social life and support and friends are online, his Gramps let him and Tim stay online. (That's serious and verified. An offender was jailed.)

 

In late 2005, Codey lost consciousness one evening. When he was coming to and recovering, he had a dream, and wrote "I Danced With Unicorns."

 

In 2006, Codey graduated high school early, at 16. He didn't attend his graduation ceremony or have a class photo. You should understand that Codey doesn't like how he looks. He has scars and other reminders from the accident, and sleeps with medical monitors on. Ever since the accident, he's had to take drugs: painkillers, anti-depressants, and other things. He hates drugs and alcohol with a passion, and wonders why anyone would want to take something to make them feel like that. In public, people often react badly, and think he's retarded, because of how he looks, sounds, and moves. Folks, I have been around handicapped people all my life, and I'm handicapped too. You do not know what it is like, until some stranger looks at you or someone you care about, or makes some stupid remark.

 

Some of you may have wondered why Codey didn't record his own stories and poems. The answer's simple: Codey's speech is strongly slurred, much like stroke victims' speech is affected. He wouldn't even tell me how much, until late last year. That's why you hear me reading them instead.

 

Some of you have wondered about his medical care. Please know he's getting the best health care available. Also know that Codey has refused some things, and he doesn't want any extraordinary measures to prolong his life. He wants to be with his family in his own home, where he's happy, with dignity.

 

I am very sorry if you think he should have said any of this sooner, but he hates the memories and feelings this brings up. He doesn't want any pity, or to be called a hero. He hates it when people don't understand, react badly, ignore he is even there, or wonder if he's for real, because of how well he writes, and because he is intelligent enough to have graduated early, despite his handicaps. Like most smart teens, he wants to be treated like an equal; not a kid, not an adult, an equal.

 

He wanted to keep all this private, so he could be himself, without people doubting him or pitying him or some other strange notions. He was also keeping this private, for Tim and their family.

 

If you don't understand why he didn't say these things sooner, I would ask you to think about why a guy like Codey might want to keep painful and personal things private.

[Thirdeye]

Very very sad

[wildone]

My sincerest condolences to those of you that knew or interacted with Codey. Also to his grandfather, and Tim.

 

Sadly, it appears like the world lost a great one. Let's hope his spirit continues on in others.

 

Steve

[rknapp]

I understand why he did what he did. I just hope that at some point he realized that he couldn't control what happened and that it wasn't his fault.

 

That bully should have gotten a much harsher sentence than what he did. Attacking him for being gay is one thing, but attacking him for being handicapped is simply inexcusable. He likely took several months away from his already short-projected life and should have served a jail term for attempted murder.

 

*sigh* bickering and contempt isn't going to solve anything at this point though. I hope Tim and his gramps can find solace also in knowing that he is home now, free of pain and prejudice, and is with his parents and brothers again. Knowing that my grandmother is now with my grandfather once more, and free of the physical and emotional pain that old age brings (passed away at 94 with serious dimentia and hardly able to move) helped in coping with her passing.

 

Damn, I'm getting bleary-eyed and this is first I've heard of him.

[NickolasJames8]

I thought I had accepted that this was coming, but to be honest, I can't believe it. Codey was a very talented writer and poet, and a very sweet person. I'm glad I was able to join Codey's World when it was in its earliest stages because I had a chance to read his work and to show him mine. Of course, it's too late for me to tell Codey how much I appreciate being allowed to be a member of his site, but I still want to say it.

 

Thank You Codey. Rest in peace my friend.

[Krista]

Aww, Codey will be greatly missed.

 

 

Krista

[Meeko]

Aww, Codey will be greatly missed.

 

 

Krista

 

Best wishes to tim and his grandfather. Like someone else had already said, today the world lost a great person, and i too hope his spirt stays with us. Very sad day indeed =(

 

Its werid becuase last night (Sunday Night) is when hawaii got hit with a bad storm too...

 

but agian my best wishes!

 

-Mike

[writeincode]

Best wishes to Codey's Gramps, Tim and of course, Codey, wherever he may be now.

He left behind some of the most beautiful poetry and prose and I'm sure he will be dearly missed now that he is gone.

Edited November 5, 2007 by writeincode

[Ieshwar]

I still can't believe it! I mean, it's unfair... I don't personally know Codey but I recently joined Codey's World when I heard this incident. It's not fair to his friends and relatives!

 

Yes, Codey will surely be missed.

 

And my thoughts to Tim, Codey's grandfather and all his friends.

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Hylas]

 

I'm sad for the loss of someone beautiful

I'm angry at why

I'm happy he's in a better place

 

But mostly I'm sad...

[jfalkon]

It's very sad. I wish I had known his story while he was still around.

At least he is free from the old scars now. May he rest in peace.

[I luv Dom]

A very sad day.

 

 

 

 

That is all.

[JamesSavik]

Like a great comet, the best poets blaze gloriously only for a short time and then they are gone.

 

Some say that it is because this world is not really their home. Others say that this world is toxic to such spirits.

 

I don't know. I am simply grateful for the light that they bring while they are here.

[pitchan]

Wow. That is so sad. It pains me to think that anyone can go through so much. I really admire and respect that he still managed to go on after all that happened to him. I am truly sorry for his family and friends. He seems to have achieved so much in his short life. I hope he rests in peace.

[Benji]

The following is what Blue (adblue) posted in another thread at Codey's World while Codey was in hospital:

 

 

.....I'm feeling very sad, for Gramps, Tim and the rest of Codey's family, may G_d bless them all.

[CoLeYy]

May codey rest in paradise.

 

his story just hit me dead in the heart..

He seemed soooo Special

The world lost someone very special

and i am unfortunate for never being able to talk to him or read his stories

 

My condolences go out to His grandpa and Tim and to alll his friends

He will be missed

[NickolasJames8]

May codey rest in paradise.

 

his story just hit me dead in the heart..

He seemed soooo Special

The world lost someone very special

and i am unfortunate for never being able to talk to him or read his stories

 

My condolences go out to His grandpa and Tim and to alll his friends

He will be missed

 

Hey CoLeYy,

 

If you want to read Codey's stories, you can go to Codeysworld.com. As far as I know, the site's going to stay up.

[Benji]

Hey CoLeYy,

 

If you want to read Codey's stories, you can go to Codeysworld.com. As far as I know, the site's going to stay up.

 

 

......Yeah, I believe Blue & Tim said that they are going to keep the site up as a memorial.

[BeaStKid]

This struck me very hard.

 

I recently joined Codey's World Forums and I did not know Cody at all. But from reading about him and some of his posts, I wish I had got to know him. I feel it was unfair for him to be taken away like this at such a tender age.

 

From what little I know of Cody, he was a loving, caring and a thoughtful person. The world has just lost a beautiful human being. May God bless his sould and may he find solace wherever he is.

 

My sincere condolences to Tim and Cody's grandfather.

 

BeaStKid

[TalonRider]

Codey will be missed.

 

I had the honor to work with him on the round robin story, 'Collision', in which he wrote chapter 5.

 

Jan

[Jack Scribe]

Codey will be missed.

 

This tragic loss is a direct result of a drunk driver's reckless actions and Codey was the victim. Whatever support you can lend to groups like MADD might help lessen these acts of vehicular mayhem. Codey's short life was changed forever because of another's irresponsible stupidity.

 

Jack

[Ieshwar]

You can light a candle for Codey here:

 

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candle...ng&gi=codey

 

They burn down after 48 hours so if you want one to be kept lit, check again.

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

[Benji]

You can light a candle for Codey here:

 

http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candle...ng&gi=codey

 

They burn down after 48 hours so if you want one to be kept lit, check again.

 

Take care,

Ieshwar

 

 

......I lit a candle for Codey last Saturday night, forgot to put something under it, Sunday morning I had wax all over my desk, oh well it needed polishing anyhow.