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A question for Bisexuals; would you date someone who was gay?


C James

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Kevin's poll on dating bisexuals made me curious about something; are there bisexuals who won't date gay guys, just as there are some gays who won't date bisexuals?

 

If this applies to you or someone you know, I'm curious about the reasoning.

 

Just curious, not out to criticize anyone.

CJ

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I see no reason for why I shouldn't date a gay man. Any pre-dispositions he has about me being possibly bi-sexual and being entirely in the closet are his own problems. Sure, I have my own criterion for dating people, but they lay almost entirely with personality and a little with physical qualities. Sexuality? No. Race? Not always (nobody's perfect). Upbringing? Only if it affects us directly and negatively.

 

By the way, I know of a couple involving a gay man and a "not straight" man. As far as I know, they're happy together. In fact, the not-straight one likes to say, "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." to confuse people lmao.

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I see no reason for why I shouldn't date a gay man. Any pre-dispositions he has about me being possibly bi-sexual and being entirely in the closet are his own problems. Sure, I have my own criterion for dating people, but they lay almost entirely with personality and a little with physical qualities. Sexuality? No. Race? Not always (nobody's perfect). Upbringing? Only if it affects us directly and negatively.

 

By the way, I know of a couple involving a gay man and a "not straight" man. As far as I know, they're happy together. In fact, the not-straight one likes to say, "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." to confuse people lmao.

 

In other words, you would make your choice based on the person, rather than a category? That's what I tend to do, too, with rare exceptions. There are however a few categories of people I'd never consider for either dates or even friends, stereotyping or not. The one that springs to mind is psychopathic serial killer ax murderers; no way would I date one. :battleaxe:

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Well, sure I'd date a gay man. I'd even date a straight man if he was cute enough (of course I'd have no expectations for him though!).

 

I've fairly wide restrictions on who I'd date. If you can't walk, can't talk I won't date you (i.e. babies and some geriatrics - not handicapped people). :)

Hair is always a plus too ;)

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I see no reason for why I shouldn't date a gay man. Any pre-dispositions he has about me being possibly bi-sexual and being entirely in the closet are his own problems. Sure, I have my own criterion for dating people, but they lay almost entirely with personality and a little with physical qualities. Sexuality? No. Race? Not always (nobody's perfect). Upbringing? Only if it affects us directly and negatively.

 

By the way, I know of a couple involving a gay man and a "not straight" man. As far as I know, they're happy together. In fact, the not-straight one likes to say, "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is." to confuse people lmao.

 

I agree 100 percent. Most of the guys i have dated were based on personality, more than anything else. This is how i see it, it doesn't matter what you are, or what you claim to be, what matters is who you are, the real you, and the way you decide to show it.

 

Personailty, is what makes everyone differen't....

Looks can always be changed but for the most part ones personailty, always stays the stay... For the most part....

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The one that springs to mind is psychopathic serial killer ax murderers; no way would I date one. :battleaxe:

I view that as more of a personality disorder than a category... I mean, there are a lot of guys who wear designer or go nekkid... I'm friends with one who really wants me to go to a gay bar with him and a few others... I don't consider him in a category, though. lol

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  • Site Administrator
Choice based on the person rather than their category? This seems like a pretty awesome yet fanciful ideology, does this actually work?

I've encountered a number of people who say that they'll fall in love with a person. While they may expect them to be of a particular gender, they are still open to the possibility that the person they love is of the other gender. In other words, they will love a person, not a gender.

 

It can happen, but, as with any relationship, there are two people involved and both have to work to keep the relationship going. If one person fails to support it, either actively or through indifference, the relationship is unlikely to continue.

 

After giving this topic careful thought, I have to say that I think it's probably a nonsense question. The typical definition is that a bisexual is happy with a sexual relationship with either gender. However, since a person can usually be only one gender at a time, the bi-sexual person can only experience one at a time. The only way to interpret the question that doesn't have a single obvious answer would be to read it as asking "While you are open to having sex with a guy, would you want an emotional relationship with one?" That question starts to move into the area of what makes a relationship, which is a very large and complex area.

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I have no problems in dating gay men if they are comfy with me being bi (albeit leaning male).

 

It would be hypocritical of me to turn down a man because of his sexual orientation. :)

 

Also, I am a firm believer of being committed to one and only one person at a given time (yeah! hopeless romantic) and I expect the same from my partner.

 

BeaStKid

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After giving this topic careful thought, I have to say that I think it's probably a nonsense question. The typical definition is that a bisexual is happy with a sexual relationship with either gender. However, since a person can usually be only one gender at a time, the bi-sexual person can only experience one at a time. The only way to interpret the question that doesn't have a single obvious answer would be to read it as asking "While you are open to having sex with a guy, would you want an emotional relationship with one?" That question starts to move into the area of what makes a relationship, which is a very large and complex area.

I thought this over too, and came to the conclusion that the question could also be implicitly assuming that a bisexual would rather date another bisexual. Which would be a somewhat reasonable conclusion IMO.

 

It might also be wondering if the bisexual prefers to date straight women, lesbians, or straight men (the last if the bisexual in question is a woman, and the first if the bisexual is a man).

 

-Kevin

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I think my brain just exploded from trying to absorb this.

Poor boy :rolleyes: . I can imagine what you are feeling. Kevin forgot the main characteristic of bi-guys, that they can date either gender. It just depends the person you have a crush on ! Its very simple, when its a guy, I'm gay with him, when its a girl, I'm straight with her. I just have to take care not to be both at the same time and at the same place :D . I could talk a lot from my own experiences, but who want to know .... :P

 

As Graeme said :

After giving this topic careful thought, I have to say that I think it's probably a nonsense question.

Thats also my opinion.

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  • 1 year later...

I would date straight people, bisexual people and gay people. But seriously, do you date someone because of that person's sexuality or because of what that person is like?

 

 

Again I can do nothing but absolutely agree... why limit your options. Love doesn't come along too many times and I am not going to run the risk of turning it away because it came with the wrong label on the box.

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I would date straight people, bisexual people and gay people. But seriously, do you date someone because of that person's sexuality or because of what that person is like?

 

 

Agreed! I was going to say, if it was completely unavoidable, I wouldn't even ask somebody's sexuality before, during or after dating them. It's just not really relevant to me. Work on having a good relationship, not depriving yourself of one because of who a person may or may not feel attracted to.

 

A girl came out to me as "not-straight" in a conversation the other day, kind of stopping herself mid-way and realising she'd gone too far and just finished her sentence. I just carried on talking as though she said something like "can we not go to pizza hut? i don't really like cheese". Because in my head I guess that's the way I see it.

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