why 52 % of the members don't post

[FrenchCanadian]

I can appreciate that. I went through the same thing when I joined. Certain people seemed to have an easy relationship based on long term interaction, and they would leave out a lot of background stuff that I needed, but no one else did.

 

However, and it could just be my mentality, I can't understand why someone would join, and not post, since they get no added benefit over not joining in the first place. That's why I started posting the day I joined. Before then, I just read the forums without joining.

 

However, that could be because I'd become comfortable enough to do that. For someone else, the first step may just be to register, and then they need a breather before taking the next step.

 

Comments anyone?

 

I agree, specially for someone who's unsure at the very start of their sexuality, just getting on here and reading the post is a big step. There's no real good answer for that question But I do think that from the moment you register it makes more sense to start posting.

 

For me, I first register because I wanted to give my comment on CJ's story FtL. For a while I only posted when new addition was up. That's also because, I see it a little as a privilege to be member here, so I was new and didn't know what to post, and was dam scared of pushing the limits. But eventually because I've gotten more comfy, and also because I'm good enough at giving advise to people, I've started post.

 

Even now, believe it or not, I'm still scared to say wrong things, post and ask question that have been talked about at more than one occasion, piss off someone or worse be banned or something. Therefore, most of the time, I make sure that I post answer of more than a few words and restrain myself when what I want to write is for the benefit of only one. If that is the case for me, I'm sure there are many more like me who's just too scared to post.

 

I don't post much because:

too many people just post to boost their post count

I am not interested in threads that tell me when someone went to bed

some people think they need to add a reply to every post, even if they have nothing to contribute

 

Tob

 

I agree that post with just smiley in it is going overboard. Tho, I certainly won't complain about those who "think they need to add a reply to every post" because sometimes even if it's not obvious, it does get the discussion going or send the discussion in another perspective just as relevant. Beside, it's with the contribution of those that makes this forum the way it is and IMHO that's what create the great friendship on the interaction we have here.

[Tiger]

Getting this thread back on topic....

 

It's interesting that apart from teasing (and while some teasing goes on here, I'd have to agree that it's very much a minority), and the idea of posting just to increase your post count, there's a fairly even spread of reasons why people post

 

Are we ready to tackle the more difficult question of why so many members DON'T post?

When I'm not being silly, I actually do talk about important issues. I was talking about an excellent documentary for some of our younger members to watch.

 

Some people are afraid of being caught posting in these forums. I think some of our posters have the same fear. Many of us still stuggle with acceptance from our families and members of our communities. We are a minority and that means that while some of us are loud, others are still struggling in silence.

[Graeme]

Some very good responses I'm not bothering to quote all of them because I'm sure I'd leave some out.

 

I hadn't considered the other benefits of membership, such as the update list, subscribing to selected forums, PMs, etc, as I don't use them a lot, so there ARE good reasons to join and not post.

 

Equally, the fears about posting that several people have mentioned are very real. I went through the same thing on my first forum, too. You don't want to say something foolish (like the first time you meet people in real life) and be put down. (Putting my moderator hat on for a moment, if you ever do feel like you've been put down, you can use the "! Report" button the lower left of the post to let the moderator team know. This allows you to report posts to the moderator team. I've used it not only to report offensive posts, but also dangerous ones, like when an underage member has revealed personal information about themselves that I don't think is safe to be in public. Don't be afraid to use it )

 

When is a post a waste of space? That's a hard call to make. Sometimes a post that doesn't add anthing CAN be a good thing -- especially when it's in a feedback thread for a new author (or any author). They like to hear that another person appreciates what they've done, even if they're not adding anything new. Similarly when someone has put up a contrary view -- a simple expression of agreement helps show that that person is not alone with their opinion.

 

Thanks for the great comments everyone!

[Tiger]

Some very good responses I'm not bothering to quote all of them because I'm sure I'd leave some out.

 

I hadn't considered the other benefits of membership, such as the update list, subscribing to selected forums, PMs, etc, as I don't use them a lot, so there ARE good reasons to join and not post.

 

Equally, the fears about posting that several people have mentioned are very real. I went through the same thing on my first forum, too. You don't want to say something foolish (like the first time you meet people in real life) and be put down. (Putting my moderator hat on for a moment, if you ever do feel like you've been put down, you can use the "! Report" button the lower left of the post to let the moderator team know. This allows you to report posts to the moderator team. I've used it not only to report offensive posts, but also dangerous ones, like when an underage member has revealed personal information about themselves that I don't think is safe to be in public. Don't be afraid to use it )

 

When is a post a waste of space? That's a hard call to make. Sometimes a post that doesn't add anthing CAN be a good thing -- especially when it's in a feedback thread for a new author (or any author). They like to hear that another person appreciates what they've done, even if they're not adding anything new. Similarly when someone has put up a contrary view -- a simple expression of agreement helps show that that person is not alone with their opinion.

 

Thanks for the great comments everyone!

 

There is some moderate teasing, but I have yet to feel offended. This site is a lot of fun.

[Tarin]

When is a post a waste of space? That's a hard call to make. Sometimes a post that doesn't add anthing CAN be a good thing -- especially when it's in a feedback thread for a new author (or any author). They like to hear that another person appreciates what they've done, even if they're not adding anything new. Similarly when someone has put up a contrary view -- a simple expression of agreement helps show that that person is not alone with their opinion.

Very true. If I were to post another poem I sure would love five or six responses, even if four of them were the same.

Edited January 11, 2008 by Tarin

[Menzoberranzen]

A post is a waste of space when it contributes NOTHING to the discussion at hand, it is in a thread that has no purpose to anyone, it is understandable by only a tiny fraction of the members, it is made for the sake of silliness/increasing post counts or it pisses off the majority of the GA members who read it. Forums are NOT places for IM conversations, and while a thread such as a 'Random Thread' is a good place for making such posts, posts that pollute the main body of the forums are just wasting space and other people's time. I don't like going to a once-interesting thread only to find that it is inundated with smilies, inside jokes and completely off topic posts.

 

Menzo (who is a little annoyed as of late with this issue)

[Hylas]

Defending my 'I'm going back to sleep' thread!!!

 

 

Ok you guys, I feel like a total twit. -.-

 

The 'I'm going back to sleep' thread was actually my own misguided effort of trying to stop the postwhorism of some members I will not name (TIGER! BSK! BENJI! AND WHOEVER ELSE!). Hence why it only has an emoticon. And the mellow one at that. Initially i tried posting the emoticon on threads where they were boxing, and flipping, and smacking each other with no better results. So I announced I was going back to sleep to encourage BSK to sleep too. And leave Tiger without an adversary. And now it all backfired... I'm sorry!

 

And I plead lack of sleep, homosexuality, and general insanity! I am innocent! Sorry if I scare away people from posting.

 

And come on... it was only for a night!

[Tarin]

Defending my 'I'm going back to sleep' thread!!!

 

 

Ok you guys, I feel like a total twit. -.-

 

The 'I'm going back to sleep' thread was actually my own misguided effort of trying to stop the postwhorism of some members I will not name (TIGER! BSK! BENJI! AND WHOEVER ELSE!). Hence why it only has an emoticon. And the mellow one at that. Initially i tried posting the emoticon on threads where they were boxing, and flipping, and smacking each other with no better results. So I announced I was going back to sleep to encourage BSK to sleep too. And leave Tiger without an adversary. And now it all backfired... I'm sorry!

 

And I plead lack of sleep, homosexuality, and general insanity! I am innocent! Sorry if I scare away people from posting.

 

And come on... it was only for a night!

My my, poor Hylas! We're all allowed a folly or two, but when you have to struggle to find a decent post by a person, that frustrates me (you don't!).

I'm sorry that

[Former Member]

Defending my 'I'm going back to sleep' thread!!!

 

 

Ok you guys, I feel like a total twit. -.-

 

The 'I'm going back to sleep' thread was actually my own misguided effort of trying to stop the postwhorism of some members I will not name (TIGER! BSK! BENJI! AND WHOEVER ELSE!). Hence why it only has an emoticon. And the mellow one at that. Initially i tried posting the emoticon on threads where they were boxing, and flipping, and smacking each other with no better results. So I announced I was going back to sleep to encourage BSK to sleep too. And leave Tiger without an adversary. And now it all backfired... I'm sorry!

 

And I plead lack of sleep, homosexuality, and general insanity! I am innocent! Sorry if I scare away people from posting.

 

And come on... it was only for a night!

 

I am sorry I missunderstood the intention of your post. I shouldn't have made my post personally by choocing a certain post. I Hope you accept my appology.

 

Tob

[Hylas]

All's well. I'm sorry too.

 

Now, somebody spank the other postwhores!

[BeaStKid]

Defending my 'I'm going back to sleep' thread!!!

 

 

Ok you guys, I feel like a total twit. -.-

 

The 'I'm going back to sleep' thread was actually my own misguided effort of trying to stop the postwhorism of some members I will not name (TIGER! BSK! BENJI! AND WHOEVER ELSE!). Hence why it only has an emoticon. And the mellow one at that. Initially i tried posting the emoticon on threads where they were boxing, and flipping, and smacking each other with no better results. So I announced I was going back to sleep to encourage BSK to sleep too. And leave Tiger without an adversary. And now it all backfired... I'm sorry!

 

And I plead lack of sleep, homosexuality, and general insanity! I am innocent! Sorry if I scare away people from posting.

 

And come on... it was only for a night!

And it worked... It made me realize what I was doing and I posted soon after that I was going to sleep as well. I apologize fo my recent surge of posts...I never realized it'd get so out of hand. I am now consciously trying to clean up my act.

 

 

And here's the proof----->

 

Totally relevant to the topic at hand, here are some old threads that I dug up--->

 

Reasons To Post!, Why you should move beyond Newbie...

 

To All the Guests Reading this Forum, Please take note if you will....

 

They are great and really informative...

 

BeaStKid

(who solemnly swears not to post out of topic. )

[corvus]

I don't post much because:

• too many people just post to boost their post count
  
• I am not interested in threads that tell me when someone went to bed
  
• some people think they need to add a reply to every post, even if they have nothing to contribute
  

Tob

 

While those are true, I think those aren't really legitimate reasons explaining why one doesn't post. That other people do silly things and have fun should not stop you from making sensible posts. One might feel excluded or affronted by objectionable behavior, but it does not follow that one should let those feelings get in the way of trying to remedy the situation, or simply going about one's own business. [/Elizabeth Bennet]

 

One reason I might not post is if I feel nobody would be interested in whatever it is that I'm posting. Starting a thread and getting no replies is an implicit rejection -- or, that's what it may feel like. And nobody likes that feeling.

 

However, that isn't a big problem on this forum, thanks to the people who do reply madly to everything. I like to think that people here know how important it is to foster the sense of community that may not be available off line, and thus do more than usual in affirming that atmosphere. Nevertheless, even though a response is better than no response, a vacuous response leaves a lot to be desired. Not that I'm accusing anyone of making vacuous posts.

 

All right, I'm scurrying back to study chem..... :nuke:

[NaperVic]

I apologize fo my recent surge of posts...I never realized it'd get so out of hand. I am now consciously trying to clean up my act.

Good for you (and us) . If you are looking for suggestions on how to control yourself, perhaps you could try restricting yourself to only two or three posts per day? Having that restriction might force you to be more substantative in your content.

 

As well, it will allow the more infrequent posters' posts to stand out and have a chance to be read.

 

Take Care®,

 

Vic

[BeaStKid]

Good for you (and us) . If you are looking for suggestions on how to control yourself, perhaps you could try restricting yourself to only two or three posts per day? Having that restriction might force you to be more substantative in your content.

 

As well, it will allow the more infrequent posters' posts to stand out and have a chance to be read.

 

Take Care

[Benji]

nuh-uh! I am not restricting myself based on post counts. I am just going to reply only when I need to. That'll restrict me well enough.

 

 

....At the topic at hand, I would take a guess that a majority of those who do not post are:

 

1. Just curious to browse and read, don't care to comment.

2. They don't want to leave a trail that they have posted, don't want to get caught.

3. Not out, just lurking

4. Extremely shy or uncomfortable in engaging in a dialogue.

[Tiger]

I don't post much because:

• too many people just post to boost their post count
  
• I am not interested in threads that tell me when someone went to bed
  
• some people think they need to add a reply to every post, even if they have nothing to contribute
  

Tob

That was a one day thing. I want you to feel free to post more. I am not worried about my post count anymore. I have not posted as much in the last few days, but I am still an active poster. I still look forward to 500, but I am in no hurry. More than likely, I can reach 500 within the next week or so.

[Benji]

That was a one day thing. I want you to feel free to post more. I am not worried about my post count anymore. I have not posted as much in the last few days, but I am still an active poster. I still look forward to 500, but I am in no hurry. More than likely, I can reach 500 within the next week or so.

 

 

......Don't worry about it, it's happened before....the thread was moved to fun & games as it should have. It is funny you can hear some complaints, but no posting otherwise..........somedays all I hear are the crickets chirping!!!

[Tiger]

......Don't worry about it, it's happened before....the thread was moved to fun & games as it should have. It is funny you can hear some complaints, but no posting otherwise..........somedays all I hear are the crickets chirping!!!

I must admit that I had a lot of fun that day. I'm too busy these days to even think of posting like that again. And yes, moving those discussing to Fun and Games was the right decision.

[Hylas]

1. Just curious to browse and read, don't care to comment.

2. They don't want to leave a trail that they have posted, don't want to get caught.

3. Not out, just lurking

4. Extremely shy or uncomfortable in engaging in a dialogue.

 

This is a more realistic view of the situation. I agree. I mean, how much percentage of the gay population is still in the closet? (Like I am) That is one statistic that can never be reliably measured, I think.

 

This is what I felt when I first joined last August, I was uber-paranoid. I would only peek in GA to add/edit my stories and then log off again. I did relevant communication mostly by PM and some posts asking for help on how to get an Author status (Thanks to Joe and Kevin! ). Then little by little I began to get curious. I posted in the welcome new members thread 2 months after I registered.

 

I began to read about people with the same experiences as mine. I started threads to clear up some of the remaining confusion in me, then voila! I'm now a fully grown postwhore! Kidding!!!

 

But seriously yeah, that was how I felt.

 

Also adding to my paranoia was the fact that GA's forums, main page, efiction, etc. all had the gigantic words: GAY written all over it. Heh. I'm still paranoid even now, but less so.

[BeaStKid]

Also adding to my paranoia was the fact that GA's forums, main page, efiction, etc. all had the gigantic words: GAY written all over it. Heh. I'm still paranoid even now, but less so.

That is soo true.. I mean, when my personal computer was out of commission and I had to use my school Library's computer I had to be uber concious of the fact. Even the page's title says GAY so big!!

[FrenchCanadian]

Also adding to my paranoia was the fact that GA's forums, main page, efiction, etc. all had the gigantic words: GAY written all over it. Heh. I'm still paranoid even now, but less so.

 

I agree to that, I gotta admit that when my parents comes in my room, a make sure to scroll down the page so the title doesn't show up.

[Tiger]

That is soo true.. I mean, when my personal computer was out of commission and I had to use my school Library's computer I had to be uber concious of the fact. Even the page's title says GAY so big!!

 

 

I agree to that, I gotta admit that when my parents comes in my room, a make sure to scroll down the page so the title doesn't show up.

I know why the letters are big. It's because we should be proud of who we are. If not for our predecessors in the late 60's and early 70's, we'd still be at risk for placement in asylums. I can't imagine living in a society in which I have the risk of jail time or time at the funny farm. Some parts of the world have some catching up to do, but western society has seen a positive change in the outlook on the GLBT community.

[Lugh]

more like a Daewoo

 

heh... more like a skateboard, from the thrift store.

 

I don't post much because:

• too many people just post to boost their post count
  
• I am not interested in threads that tell me when someone went to bed
  
• some people think they need to add a reply to every post, even if they have nothing to contribute
  

Tob

 

I feel this way too sometimes. (well maybe not so much now about the going to bed post since I know the reason behind it, but yeah...) It's a pain in the behind when you want to read a thread, and a page and a half is nothing but those annoying little yellow faces. It's also annoying when you have put out a long and hard thought out post, and the next guy comes along as says "I disagree" with nothing to back it up.

 

I'm used to you guys and how you interact, but someone who is new would not be, and it can be right outputting -- turning a curious lurker into a standoffish lurker... and not the kind of lurker such as the goat.

 

 

A post is a waste of space when it contributes NOTHING to the discussion at hand, it is in a thread that has no purpose to anyone, it is understandable by only a tiny fraction of the members, it is made for the sake of silliness/increasing post counts or it pisses off the majority of the GA members who read it. Forums are NOT places for IM conversations, and while a thread such as a 'Random Thread' is a good place for making such posts, posts that pollute the main body of the forums are just wasting space and other people's time. I don't like going to a once-interesting thread only to find that it is inundated with smilies, inside jokes and completely off topic posts.

 

Menzo (who is a little annoyed as of late with this issue)

 

I've been annoyed with that issue too, Menzo. It's not like there isn't a chat available (no, it's not directly related to GA, but it's not monitered by GA either; yes you have to register, but get over it) or MSN / AIM for those types of conversations -- even in small groups.

 

One big reason people may not post is that some of you all are down right frightening.

[Gandalf]

I had originally posted in response to the stories which at the time I joined were stunning(may still be just alot less time to read these days). As time went on I had periods where I got into the old chat board and felt like I got to know many of the posters there a bit. However as my last few years have been periods of lots of time to browse the web and periods where I am not on much at all I have and will be for a while a sporadic poster. When I find a thread that titilates me I usually put in a thought. I hope at some point I will be able to have the time to get back into the community. Pax. Steve SV Gandalf in Spain and Fairview Villas Maine

[Hylas]

Methinks we should start a poll asking why members DON'T post.