Sex with Strangers

[Tiger]

Well, this is straight forward poll. Would you have sex with a stranger? Some people see themselves as incapable. Others do so as often as they like. It is a matter of personal preference.

[Nephylim]

The best sex I ever had was with a stranger... actually it was the only sex I have ever had with a stranger (NOT I hasten to add the only sex I have ever had period.) I would certainly do it again if the opportunity arose.... and, of course it was safe.

[Jack Frost]

Sex to me is also about getting the nuts off without worrying about the romance strings.

 

But with a pure stranger... No thanks... You'd have trouble getting me to do that.

[JamesSavik]

Everybody is a stranger.

[Krista]

Let's see... I did the whole one night stand once... well not really since after that we dated for over two years and I about married him twice.. lol. Best/worst relationship I ever had really, so I'll not EVER do that again. Also, sex with strangers is pretty easy to do... one could always find a willing stranger somewhere (even if one has to pay for it), but I also know that it's a pretty bad habit to get into, so one shouldn't look to do that.

[MikeL]

Everybody is a stranger.

Some are stranger than others.

[JamesSavik]

People miss out on so much because they spend so much of their time in their own little rut.

 

They ignore the strange and unusual.

 

I am the strange and unusual.

 

I don't ask permission or forgiveness. Come, go, stay, lay, or pray: it just doesn't matter.

 

But if you Run With Me, you'll know that you're alive.

 

If you get lucky, you might even Break on through to the other side.

[Mark Arbour]

I read these polls and I always wonder if those who answered "Never have, never will," are:

 

1. Asexual

2. Lying

3. Setting a goal, not stating reality

4. All of the above

5. In a blissfully monogamous relationship. (This choice requires that answer 2 also be selected).

 

[Y_B]

Stranger could be interpreted differently by everybody, but for the sake of keeping it simple, yes I have and I probably will again. They are always people I've just met to get my rocks off, so I'm just like Jack Frost in that area. I don't mind, but it's meaningless sex.

[Objectivist]

Sex with strangers hasn't been (to me) as good as sex with someone I know and trust and have some form or relationship with. Lol, the guys i've had the pleasure (or lack) of meeting have only been interested in getting themselves off, which is cool and all, but what's the point of getting with someone else if youre only interested in getting yourself off? Might as well do it on your own.... hahaha. BUTT i could have just gotten all the selfish bastards. Or maybe i have high standards....

 

Anyways, one should always have safe sex, and seek regular testing if one is engaging in sexual intercourse with strangers, EVEN while being safe. Your local government run health clinic should provide low cost to free testing.

 

James

[Arpeggio]

It didn't work out so well with me. Sex with a stranger is just too dangerous, in my opinion.

 

Edited September 2, 2009 by ArpeGGio

[Nephylim]

People miss out on so much because they spend so much of their time in their own little rut.

 

They ignore the strange and unusual.

 

I am the strange and unusual.

 

I don't ask permission or forgiveness. Come, go, stay, lay, or pray: it just doesn't matter.

 

But if you Run With Me, you'll know that you're alive.

 

If you get lucky, you might even Break on through to the other side.

 

 

Gods I LOVE The Doors. Jim was the sexiest man EVER (with the possible exception of Johnny Depp). I'd take a walk on the wild side with him any day

[old bob]

Everybody is a stranger.

More or less .

And the first experience is always the best.

BTW, I did a lot, and would go on (if I could )

[Tarin]

"Yes, but I have not done it as of yet." So I can't say it is better or worse. Not that I'd have much to compare it to. Yay inexperience.

 

I exclude cybersex, that isn't really sex. I had cyber"sex" with a person I'd never met IRL before. Well, he has cybersex and I typed awkwardly into the messenger.

 

I would not exclude hiring a prostitute, especially when traveling abroad. In fact I have even made plans to do so, however never following through because of financial limitations. The plan is now "on-hold." I don't see a problem with paying for entertainment.

 

However, sex for free with a stranger from a bar isn't something I am interested in. I can't say I would refuse when inebriated, but if sober I'd rather have it be romantic or a pay-per-play. Something shady about going to a bar just to have free sex, or sex for the price of a roofie.

 

Always safe sex though. There's no other kind. I would only consider unprotected sex after marriage and extensive testing.

Edit: comma for clarity; it completely changed the meaning of a sentence.

 

 

Edited September 2, 2009 by Tarin

[Ashi]

I read these polls and I always wonder if those who answered "Never have, never will," are:

 

1. Asexual

2. Lying

3. Setting a goal, not stating reality

4. All of the above

5. In a blissfully monogamous relationship. (This choice requires that answer 2 also be selected).

 

 

Erm.... Some people might not able to achieve orgasm without trusting the partner? Just some thought. A little psychological and physical regulation could determine whether the act is fulfilling or not.... Otherwise, it's just friction.

[Jack Frost]

Erm.... Some people might not able to achieve orgasm without trusting the partner? Just some thought. A little psychological and physical regulation could determine whether the act is fulfilling or not.... Otherwise, it's just friction.

Exactly my sentiments. It would be easier for me to get to know the person in some way.

 

Oh yeah... and use condoms. No exception.

[rknapp]

I read these polls and I always wonder if those who answered "Never have, never will," are:

 

1. Asexual

2. Lying

3. Setting a goal, not stating reality

4. All of the above

5. In a blissfully monogamous relationship. (This choice requires that answer 2 also be selected).

 

So where does that leave me? I'm in a blissfully monogamous relationship, and Answer 2 doesn't describe me at all. Never have, and never will.

[Mark Arbour]

So where does that leave me? I'm in a blissfully monogamous relationship, and Answer 2 doesn't describe me at all. Never have, and never will.

 

It makes you incredibly unique. Goes well with your good looks.

[irangel]

So where does that leave me? I'm in a blissfully monogamous relationship, and Answer 2 doesn't describe me at all. Never have, and never will.

 

Leaves you in good company and more than you'd think.

I met my life partner after my answers Yes and "been there done that" phase of life had past.

 

now 18 years in a solid monogamous relationship, we've built our foundation on honesty, love and respect.

we're counting on each other to run out the clock :king:

no drama, life around us provides enough of that

 

 

(sounds like a hallmark card...eh)

but that's the way it is...

 

And I'm not suggesting our way is better than other configurations, we've known couples with "open" relationships who make it work, it's just not for us.

and we have many single gay and straight friends who are very content with single-hood

guess, as long as you don't get burned, what ever melts your butter

[JamesSavik]

I take it that your dad didn't put your head through a sheet rock wall when he found out that you were gay.

 

Don't break your arm patting yourself on your back over your superior morality. You live in a very different world than many of us.

[Mark Arbour]

Leaves you in good company and more than you'd think.

I met my life partner after my answers Yes and "been there done that" phase of life had past.

 

Don't break your arm patting yourself on your back over your superior morality. You live in a very different world than many of us.

 

Actually, this is my point (such as it is). When polls like this go up, suddenly all the gay guys are pure as the driven snow who never f**ked around until they found their true love. They answer "no" to whether they had, or would, have sex with a stranger. I'm not saying those guys aren't out there, I'm just observing that there certainly aren't as many as this poll would have us believe.

 

In your situation Aik, you did your stint, right? You're pure and happy now, but it wasn't always so?

 

For guys like James and I, we were never pure, and probably never will be.

[Excuse]

First of I think the term "sex with strangers" needs clarifying, because sex can mean any number of things to any number of people.

 

I answered No I wouldn't and there have been times when drunk, nothing usually happens, I'd just pass out in someones bed, however something could have happened, (once a guy wouldnt leave me alone so I just used a lil wrist action to get rid of him, so if sex takes into account a handjob then yeah I've done that.). Now after these I've always felt ashamed and angry with myself. Not because I abhore the act of anonymous sex, because quite frankly what two consenting adults do together in the privacy of their own well... wherever, thats up to them, I've felt bad because anything could have happened, I've lacked the ability to remember, and most likely full control of myself. (I'll admit I'm uptight so not having self control really makes me angry with myself) However I wouldn't choose to do it as I don't feel it's right for me... I don't want to have sex with someone until I trust them. I think sex comes more naturally to some than others. I find it awkward and yeah.. I don't want to give someone the kind of trust I think I should until I know them. So for me it's a no.

 

You live in a very different world than many of us.

 

I agree people do live in different worlds, dealing with different baggage. However I think it's about how you choose to carry that baggage which really makes the difference. Personally I just ignore my issuses, keep a stiff upper lip and trudge on.

[irangel]

I take it that your dad didn't put your head through a sheet rock wall when he found out that you were gay.

I am sorry if this happened to you.

 

to your question about my father,

no he didn't

I spent my childhood and adolescence cleaning up after him, he was alcoholic.

(my past is an impoverished childhood, in a Hispanic culture, a minority within a minority, struggled through college and grad school, came out, partied hard, settled down enjoying life, nothing special)

when I told him and my mother I was gay, I was self sufficient and living on my own. I was 24 and had been out of my parents house for 4 years

Don't break your arm patting yourself on your back over your superior morality. You live in a very different world than many of us.

 

I did not mean to suggest a superior morality in describing my present relationship status.

I don't for a minute regret my past behavior and some of the hottest adventures were had during those days. I was out and about during the early 80's when the baths, bars and one night stands were what I lived for. Getting laid was a game of numbers and faces although some sweet friendships came out of them sometimes.

I simply got tired of it. And I realized I wanted something different. Turns out it was a monogamous relationship.

 

I was/am lucky. I've buried too many good friends and people I hooked up with for a night...*not judging*...just stating the facts in my life. Lost them to AIDS/HIV, alcoholism, violence and drugs.

 

If you read some sort of moral judgment in my post it was not my intent.

I agree with you, I live in a different world, mine is colored by my life experiences. We are all a product of our past experiences, it is what we do with them that creates our experience of the world in the present. It is what we do here and now and the choices we make and the meaning we give to them that matters, in my opinion.

 

I've had many terms ascribed to me in Spanish and English, but a superior morality, has not been one of them.

 

However if my post offended you in some way I do apologize for it, there is enough negativity in the world, I would not add to it.

Edited September 3, 2009 by aikirangel

[Benji]

First of I think the term "sex with strangers" needs clarifying, because sex can mean any number of things to any number of people.

 

 

..........You are absolutely right, my definition of a stranger!! 'Hi, how are you? My name is Benji!, yours?' 'Want a drink?' 'Thanks Chris, I'll take a beer' 'Yep, I've come here a few times, and you?' 'No, actually I was raised here in Vegas, but I did most of my high school in San Diego' 'Really? No, I try to stay away from the strip, but I have seen a lot of shows too!' 'Sounds good, this place will close up soon, do we need to bring anything back to your place?' Hey Chris, is there going to be any problems with your roommate?, cause I can leave you know, I don't want any problems either? ...................f**k, last night was great...here is my number give me a call ok? You too! maybe we can hook up again real soon? Ok, see ya Chris!!

 

I'm pretty sure I didn't miss much of the '70's and '80s!! Except, we did not practice safe sex, we had mulitiple partners and basically did it anywhere we could out of sight! Yep, that would qualify as 'strangers'

[irangel]

Actually, this is my point (such as it is). When polls like this go up, suddenly all the gay guys are pure as the driven snow who never f**ked around until they found their true love. They answer "no" to whether they had, or would, have sex with a stranger. I'm not saying those guys aren't out there, I'm just observing that there certainly aren't as many as this poll would have us believe.

 

In your situation Aik, you did your stint, right? You're pure and happy now, but it wasn't always so?

 

For guys like James and I, we were never pure, and probably never will be.

 

Hi Mark,

I've been called many things in Spanish and English, but "pure" has never been one of them.

 

I think my post gave the impression that I was judging behavior, I was not. As I replied to James, I don't for a minute regret my behavior during my wild days. I have fond memories and none of it is colored by moral judgment. The baths, bars, and one night stands were awesome...what's there to judge. Stranger sex was some of the hottest, I'm just not there anymore.

 

pure and happy? I'll agree with the happy part, but pure...got lost in the early 80's.

 

unless we're having a word confusion and pure=monogamy? in which case I am pure...my life depends on it.

"you cheat, you die" is the motto of my relationship...luckily we've not had to test it

btw, I had 15 glorious years of bars, baths, and bookstores...

no regrets...well ok, maybe one (that I remember) getting back at my roommate for leaving me stranded at the bar by sleeping with his potential boyfriend in the living room, while he was in the next room listening...I was bad and spiteful, and marvelously petty...I guess that doesn't count though because no strangers were involved.