Site Administrator Graeme Posted December 13, 2009 Site Administrator Posted December 13, 2009 Stupid by David McLeodBrotherly love takes an unexpected turn. :nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:
Linxe Termoil Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Bravo! Bravo! I liked that short story, makes me wish I had a brother like that. I definitely can't wait till Pilot comes out and I get to see how the vignette and the main story tie in with characters. Regards, Linxe
Site Administrator Graeme Posted December 14, 2009 Author Site Administrator Posted December 14, 2009 A great little story, David! Not all deceptions are negative in nature, and this is a good example.
jovian_w2002 Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 What a nice little story ! I'm not sure if I've told you this before David, but I'm a fraternal twin . I've an older twin brother who is "elder-by-five minutes". However, in contrast to the brotherly love displayed between Toby and Gary, my relationship with my 'older' brother (not you ) is sour! :S
David McLeod Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Didn't even know that the story had been posted, and suddenly there are comments...nice ones, too, from people I admire. What a great way to begin the week. Thank you, all.
Site Administrator Cia Posted December 14, 2009 Site Administrator Posted December 14, 2009 With identical twins for brothers and my father being an identical twin I can relate to the switching thing, lol. This is a great story, very easy to read and the emotions come out in it loud and clear. I think that your depiction of the twin bond is great, I know that it isn't always the case but the twins in my family were always that way, closer to each other than anyone else. I can't wait for the rest of the story to come out and find out how this vignette fits in!
David McLeod Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Cia, thanks for your thoughts. I hope I haven't set expectations too high, but you've given me some ideas to incorporate in the larger story...
Nephylim Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 You know what I think of this story. I love it. As has already been said it's really easy to read and the emotions come through loud and clear. I mean how many people have never peddled, run, paced or fumed themselves into a coma chanting stupid, stupid, stupid? It was awesome from the first words.. and the image of Toby standing outside smoking clove cigarettes was sooooo close to home It's fabulous to have a brother watch your back and, as has again already been said it's good to see that not all deceptions have to have negative intentions or outomes.
Fishwings Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 Read this story right before I went to bed. Really sweet! Love the characterization. Can't wait for The Pilot either : )!
paya Posted December 14, 2009 Posted December 14, 2009 I love it! I can't wait for the story to be published!
Kanaye Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Twins! Love twins! It was sweet and I liked the interactions between the two The bathroom scene was funny. And I agree with the rest of them, can't wait to read Pilot.
Dolores Esteban Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 This is a very charming story, David. I agree, it is easy to read. Just what I needed after a long day at work. Thanks
Lugh Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 This story made me giggle. I needed to giggle. Thank you. Happy Writing.
Mark Arbour Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 Well done David! I loved all the references (Monty Python! Bullwinkle!).
David McLeod Posted December 15, 2009 Posted December 15, 2009 What a rush! Reading your comments was just what I needed. Weather has been miserable: gray, overcast, damp. I felt the sun come out when I logged onto this thread and saw all the kind words. Thank you, all.
Tiger Posted December 16, 2009 Posted December 16, 2009 I think everyone likes identical twins, and the ability to switch is definitely a good thing. Sometimes I wish I had a twin myself. Pilot will be a good one to check out from what I can tell.
Site Administrator wildone Posted December 17, 2009 Site Administrator Posted December 17, 2009 I really liked the story as a stand alone, but if you must insist on making it part of a larger story . One thing that I picked up on was that even though they are identical in looks and appearances, they are complete opposites in personality. Or was this deception on your part and Toby will actually be as nervous around the first girl he pursues . I sure wished that siblings could always stick by each others, so that in itself gave me a really good feeling of the outcome. Thanks for sharing Steve
David McLeod Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 ...the ability to switch is definitely a good thing.... Hmm. So far, I'd thought so, too. On the other hand, what if it weren't? I'm going to throw that one to the Muse and see what she comes up with. Thanks! One thing that I picked up on was that even though they are identical in looks and appearances, they are complete opposites in personality. Or was this deception on your part and Toby will actually be as nervous around the first girl he pursues . Steve I've focused on Gary for so long, I'd nearly forgotten about Toby. Another great thought for the Muse! Thank you!
Benji Posted December 17, 2009 Posted December 17, 2009 Hmm. So far, I'd thought so, too. On the other hand, what if it weren't? I'm going to throw that one to the Muse and see what she comes up with. Thanks! I've focused on Gary for so long, I'd nearly forgotten about Toby. Another great thought for the Muse! Thank you! ............Great story! Short and sweet, nice to know you have a continuation planned for it!!
gardentuber Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Want more. Soon. Tomorrow is not too soon.
David McLeod Posted December 18, 2009 Posted December 18, 2009 Toby has fallen, hard, for a lawyer who is about six years older than he. Does she have the insight to realize it, and the empathy to deal with it?
gardentuber Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 Toby has fallen, hard, for a lawyer who is about six years older than he. Does she have the insight to realize it, and the empathy to deal with it? There. Now was that so difficult, Davey? What happens next?
Toast Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 I enjoyed this story very much, thank you. Sam
Camy Posted December 19, 2009 Posted December 19, 2009 That was well written, lovely, and left me smiling. Thank you! Camy
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