First Experience In A Gay Bar/Club

TetRefine · January 4, 2013

What was you're first experience like going to a gay club or bar? Was it everything you expected, or nothing like you thought it would be? Was it intimidating and filled with model-quality boys or relaxed and welcoming? Did you feel liberated and finally felt like you belonged, or did it just seem so out of the norm it was scary?

I turn 21 in a couple days and will finally get to go to one in the US. I've been to one overseas a couple times, but I have a feeling it will be different here in the States compared to a foreign country. Just curious to hear people's thoughts who have experience.

Benji · January 4, 2013

What was you're first experience like going to a gay club or bar? Was it everything you expected, or nothing like you thought it would be? Was it intimidating and filled with model-quality boys or relaxed and welcoming? Did you feel liberated and finally felt like you belonged, or did it just seem so out of the norm it was scary?

I turn 21 in a couple days and will finally get to go to one in the US. I've been to one overseas a couple times, but I have a feeling it will be different here in the States compared to a foreign country. Just curious to hear people's thoughts who have experience.

................ Hmm, believe it or not, I went to 4 in one night about 7 years ago with my neighbor Eric (he is kinda of like another adopted kid to me, and no we have no attractions, as I'm much older) It was liberating to see people being themselves, there was no crass involvement anywhere. It was just good plain fun, I did not participate, just watched and laughed at the antics going on. I left the club feeling great to see people just being people!

W_L · January 4, 2013

Gay club= fun and interesting

Gay bar= old guys hitting on you

I am not a club guy or a bar hopper, but I don't know if other gay guys get the same strange feeling in gay bars. The crowd in them are over 35, which is not bad, but it just seems weird that there aren't many younger guys or gay bars for younger guys in their 20's.

Anyone else see the same trend outside of Boston?

TetRefine · January 4, 2013

Anyone else see the same trend outside of Boston?

It was similar at the club in Buenos Aires. The crowd of probably almost 2,000 was 90% under 30 years old. Down there, people start at 2am and party till the sun comes up around 6:30, so its pretty much a young man's game. Plus you are generally dancing or moving around for most of that time, so you have to have energy, which is again for younger people. A bar is more just sitting around and hanging out with people, which is more geared toward lower key, older people.

layla · January 4, 2013

When I was in college a friend asked me if I would go with him to one as it was his first time going and he was real nervous about what it would be like. We both had a blast, there were a ton of nice guys and girls there that just wanted to talk and dance and drink and shoot pool and play darts and have a good time. We ended up being regulars there for the rest of the time we were in school

rustle · January 4, 2013

When dinosaurs roamed the earth, in my youth, 18 was legal to drink, and I had a taste for bourbon. Clubs played discoor country, so I went to bars. Didn't like them, but believed it was where guys met. Uh, yeh, if they just wanted to hook up. They were too noisy for a conversation, too dim to see if I'd need a paper bag for the guy who had his tongue down my throat. Drank too much, played some pool or darts. Decided it wasn't my thing.

Y_B · January 4, 2013

Mileage will vary depending on city and location.

I been to the gay bars/clubs in Austin and Dallas....completely different. Completely

Austin was my 1st couple places and were as underwelming as they could have been. Small, dirty, expensive drinks, weird people. I went with my boyfriend a couple times way back when I was in school. I doubt I would have gone if it wasn't with him. Not a good place to meet people or talk. People who go are either young folks who went in groups and are far too self-conscious to tear away from their cliques to mingle with others or just weird people trolling. I don't recall really talking to anybody with all the times I've been other than 1 time I ran into someone I half-knew and had an slightly awkward moment. Bartenders are losers. Austin is just a shitty town with the exception of a select few good places to spend time (6th street and campus area). Regular bars are incredible on 6th street.

Dallas gayborhood is incredible, not just saying that cuz I live here. Huge, upscale, cheeeeeaaappp during the right times, hot fun people. I went by myself once just to check it out and have taken a few friends who come from out of town and never been. People are still cliquey but every time I've been, and I mean every time, my friends and I have met other guys, chatted, sat down, bought each other drinks, had a good time. I got molested once out in the open but didn't care cuz I was drunk. I dunno, for some reason, people like me better here? and it's weird cuz Dallas natives are in general more attractive and better off than an Austinite so you'd think it works the other way around but Austinites (the gay ones) are far less approachable imho, it says something about people. It's like the more attractive and better off people are the ones who are more relaxed and comfortable enough to mingle and have fun and the ugly loser types are the ones who facade themselves to death with this shroud of unapproachableness.

Edited January 4, 2013 by Y_B

Krista · January 4, 2013

I was the only one that wasn't scared the first time me and my friends went to a gay bar/club. One friend is naturally really shy, very good looking, but shy. So he was a bit overwhelmed by the attention he got. It took about an hour before my other two gay male friends started to dance and mingle. We made a point not to drink that time, so we could take it all in and not get up to any trouble.. lol. My friends that are a couple were insanely jealous/protective of one another. When they were talked to, they got all snuggly in an 'in your face' sort of way to ward off any advances from the other guys in the bar.

I at least thought I would get hit on a few times.. I mean.. it was a gay bar, but there had to be some bisexual or straight guys mingling too.. not everyone that goes to gay clubs are completely gay. Nothing... but I was relieved that no one mistook me for a drag queen.

The laser lights and techno dance music was also completely new to me. I hate loud music, it is why I don't go to concerts. The crowd was also new to us. We were completely out of our element and it took us a few months after the first time to try again. Overall, it's not really my scene, I'm more for private parties where conversations can happen that don't involve screaming over the music or walking to find a quiet corner.

methodwriter85 · January 4, 2013

I'm not big on the gay bar scene, but I've been to two so far. It was fine, but one was kind of like the "you need to look perfect for people to talk to you" kind of bar...the other seemed nicer and more laid-back. Actually though, while it wasn't officially a gay bar, there was this bar I went to in graduate school that a lot of gay people went to. It was pretty cool to see two guys cuddling in a bar that wasn't actually a gay bar. I preferred that experience the most.

I haven't really pursued going to gay bars all that much because I'm not trying to look for hook-up partners, and because I've found that I tend to prefer being friends with straight guys as opposed to gay ones.

Maximoff · January 4, 2013

The first gay bar I went to was named Torget which is in the Old Town. I was there with my first boyfriend. I was so nervous, I had no idea how it would be like. So the first thing that hits you when you enter is this heavy satin curtain veil that you walk through. Right away, the first thing you notice is how eyes are focused on the new guests. Some to just have a quick glance, but then there are some guys that check you out longer, and you feel their gaze on you. It's really uncomfortable. Especially for being Stockholm (where strangers try to avoid eye contact if possible).

After that, I ordered tea, my then boyfriend ordered coffee. And it was mostly like a regular bar. Except none of us were old enough to order alcohol. I guess this place was more like a hangout place that you go with friends. I've been there several times, you don't stray away from your group, and you don't talk to strangers. The bartender flirts with me every time though. Not sure if that's to get more tips. Probably is...

The first club I went to was with a friend. We went to this bar named Side Track. It's mostly frequented by men in their 30s up to 60s. It's this basement area, tt's practically a narrow hallway remodeled with an alcove for the bar, and there's not a lot of places to sit, not a lot of space to move around. People talk to you while you wait for the bartender. The bar is usually swamped with people trying to order. As the bar was located in the middle of this narrow corridor, there wasn't a lot of places to stand if you wanted to order, so you'd have to squeeze through to the bartender and as you stood there waiting for attention, people would brush by me, and their hands would go on my shoulders, back and then lower...

. It's humid and sweaty. I heard later from my friend that this was where all the leather parties and the underwear parties were held. Perfect location.

I don't think I've felt so many eyes on me at the same time. The whole experience was weird and awkward. My friend though, just absorbed it all in. I guess he likes to be in the spotlight...

I haven't been to any real clubs with a lot of loud and obnoxious dance music. I went to this place called Metro in Barcelona. Some old guy took off his shirt and started dancing up close to me and my friend. Was really weird. Really, really, really weird.

But Stockholm is very open-minded, you can go to a regular bars and clubs and show affection and people won't even bat an eye on you. Was at this irish pub in central stockholm with my boyfriend and held his hand and kissed him, and noone could even have cared less.

Just to the OP: Don't go to gay bars to look for a hook-up, you'll have be miserable. Just go there to have fun, and take the night as it goes. If you meet someone, you meet someone. If you don't, you don't. If it looks like you're having a good time, you'll just look 100x more attractive.

Edited January 4, 2013 by Maximoff

methodwriter85 · January 4, 2013

Just to the OP: Don't go to gay bars to look for a hook-up, you'll have be miserable. Just go there to have fun, and take the night as it goes. If you meet someone, you meet someone. If you don't, you don't. If it looks like you're having a good time, you'll just look 100x more attractive.

Well, Matt's in a relationship, and from what I understand, they're not open- so he better not be stepping out on Cam or else I'm a gonna be driving up to Widener to put the hurt on the boy! (J/K...I wouldn't drive up to Chester without bulletproof glass on my car in a milion years.)

But yeah, I agree completely with this. Don't look desperate. Just be there to have fun.

Anyway, Matt, my sister used to be involved with clubs in Philly, back in the early 2000's with places like Shampoo. The general idea was that the gay bars there were mostly rave type clubs...I'm not sure if that's true anymore, but it sounds like Shampoo hasn't changed much, from what I've heard of people who've gone there.

When the weather warms up, I recomend going down to Rehoboh Beach in Delaware, which has a strong gay community. It tends to be an older beach place, but there are still young people. There's this bar caled Aqua with hot shirtless waiters there in the summer.

What's really cool, and what I love about Rehoboth Beach, is when you see gay families walking around, or two men strolling down the boardwalk holding hands.

Edited January 4, 2013 by methodwriter85

Andy78 · January 4, 2013

I can't actually recall the first time I went into a gay bar or club as it was such a long time ago, and I've been to so many over the years.

I've been to Torget in Gamla Stan as well, but with the lower exchange rates on the Swedish Kroner their prices are getting a little expensive. Though had fun there.

I've been to a number of the bars and clubs in Prague over the years and believe me they make London's look very tame.

I love Escape, even though it's full of (very yummy) gogo boys plying their trade, but at least they aren't pushy about it (and the mega-strip is an event not to be missed ).

Temple is advertised as the best gay bar in Prague, but I've always found it very seedy - I won't give my full opinion on Temple because no doubt I'd get told off by one of the mods (or maybe all of them ).

Club Termix is just way too loud for my liking, but it seems to be the in thing with the younger guys.

There are a load of gay bars (and clubs) up and down Vinohradska. The bars are usually quiet and relaxing places to have a drink, the clubs are where you go on the pull.

I absolutely love Saints Bar for a nice quiet drink (and to drool over the barman) - its prices are also very reasonable (£1-£1.50 for a beer, and £2-£3 for most spirits, with the local firewater being as cheap as £1) which are all less than a third of London's prices.

Prince Duchess · January 4, 2013

My first time at the gay club, i was 18 and was going for my best friends birthday, i was really excited just to experience it. I didnt really know what to expect but i was thinking something possibly out of the realm of babylon in queer as folk. And i was right but i was wrong if that makes sense. It was the first place where ive seen guys dancing on other guys, so its a real surreal moment when you first get there, and you'll be self conciously looking over your shoulder to see if anyones paying attention and then you realize oh there all doing the same thing. But, esentially what I learned from going is that its just an overall party, where you go to escape, get your life experience more of the gay scene then youve probably seen before. I would also suggest to never go by yourself, pregame before you go because cost of alcohol at bars and clubs are super expensive.

It was similar at the club in Buenos Aires. The crowd of probably almost 2,000 was 90% under 30 years old. Down there, people start at 2am and party till the sun comes up around 6:30, so its pretty much a young man's game. Plus you are generally dancing or moving around for most of that time, so you have to have energy, which is again for younger people. A bar is more just sitting around and hanging out with people, which is more geared toward lower key, older people.

I need to make my way to buenos aires, sounds like a great place to partay

Gene Splicer PHD · January 4, 2013

Went to one not that long ago. Lots of men sitting around, staring at Grindr and other glowing rectangles. Lots of Facebook/texting too. Young guys mostly. I got the impression they were there to meet friends/Grindr hook ups and then move on to the better gig down the road. There has to be more to it than THAT.

As the night wore on, the scrolling got faster and the look in their eyes was more desperate.

The older guys were creeping on the younger guys too - I felt a bit embarrassed by my age-mates.

All in all, I shoulda just played Xbox instead.

Tomas · January 4, 2013

I went to my first gay bar when I was 18. Of course that was back when the drinking age was 18. An ancient age before dirt.

The bar was "Dixie's Bar of Music". DIxie's was a place to meet friends, socialize and just generally have fun. It was a destination bar for many members of the "Ice Capades" and the touring companies that were in town with a Broadway play. Authors such as Gore Vidal, Tennessee Williams, and others, made Dixie's their home when they were in town, as did any number of celebrities.

If you were out for a pickup, you went down the street 2 blocks to "Cafe Lafitte In Exile". A bar affectionately called "The Meatrack" by many locals.

The "Gaslight" had a small dance floor and stage. Some weekends there was a band. Fats Domino, Clarence "Frogman" Henry, Professor Longhair were some of the groups that played there. That was before they were well known. The thing that I remember most about the "Gaslight" was the lesbian bartender. I don't recall her name, bout she was known as "The Great White Whale". She had white hair and was huge and I don't mean fat. She probably could have given Schwarzenegger a run for his money. I do remember one night when I was in there some straights came in the bar. If memory serves, there were 3 of them. They appeared to be college frat types, likely from out of town. Well, when they realized what kind of bar they had wandered into they started trying to make trouble. After they had been warned a couple of times to behave or get out, the Great White Whale came out from behind the bar, grabbed the ring leader by the front of his shirt, threw him up against the wall and held him there. I believe that his feet were about a foot off of the floor. She said a few words to him then literally threw him towards the door and told him and his friends to get out. Needless to say they left. There was also a second bar at the "Gaslight" across the patio in the old slave quarters called the "Backbar.

There was another place on the corner of St. Peter and Chartres streets. Can't remember the name, but it was called the "Wrinkle Room". It was a nice quite place where older gays went. It was also a couples bar where you could go for a nice quiet drink and not have to deal with the frenetic activity at the other bars.

There were a number of other bars that were not main stream bars.

Jeez! I'm surprised I remembered all of that.

Maximoff · January 4, 2013

I went to my first gay bar when I was 18. Of course that was back when the drinking age was 18. An ancient age before dirt.

The bar was "Dixie's Bar of Music". DIxie's was a place to meet friends, socialize and just generally have fun. It was a destination bar for many members of the "Ice Capades" and the touring companies that were in town with a Broadway play. Authors such as Gore Vidal, Tennessee Williams, and others, made Dixie's their home when they were in town, as did any number of celebrities.

If you were out for a pickup, you went down the street 2 blocks to "Cafe Lafitte In Exile". A bar affectionately called "The Meatrack" by many locals.

The "Gaslight" had a small dance floor and stage. Some weekends there was a band. Fats Domino, Clarence "Frogman" Henry, Professor Longhair were some of the groups that played there. That was before they were well known. The thing that I remember most about the "Gaslight" was the lesbian bartender. I don't recall her name, bout she was known as "The Great White Whale". She had white hair and was huge and I don't mean fat. She probably could have given Schwarzenegger a run for his money. I do remember one night when I was in there some straights came in the bar. If memory serves, there were 3 of them. They appeared to be college frat types, likely from out of town. Well, when they realized what kind of bar they had wandered into they started trying to make trouble. After they had been warned a couple of times to behave or get out, the Great White Whale came out from behind the bar, grabbed the ring leader by the front of his shirt, threw him up against the wall and held him there. I believe that his feet were about a foot off of the floor. She said a few words to him then literally threw him towards the door and told him and his friends to get out. Needless to say they left. There was also a second bar at the "Gaslight" across the patio in the old slave quarters called the "Backbar.

There was another place on the corner of St. Peter and Chartres streets. Can't remember the name, but it was called the "Wrinkle Room". It was a nice quite place where older gays went. It was also a couples bar where you could go for a nice quiet drink and not have to deal with the frenetic activity at the other bars.

There were a number of other bars that were not main stream bars.

Jeez! I'm surprised I remembered all of that.

Must've made an impact.

Traveller_23 · January 5, 2013

My first time out at a gay bar was in Birmingham, UK. I was just recently out, but was going with a big group of friends so I wasn't nervous or anything. I suck at dancing and I don't drink, so clubbing is of limited interest to me. The bar turned out to be more elaborate than we thought with a dance floor downstairs. Entry was cheap, but drinks were a little expensive compared to straight student places. I'd gone in expecting to see lots of guys dancing together, so it didn't hit me as much as it could have. Also, it was a very mixed bar, so lots of lesbians, trans people and races were there too. It was nice. Except for the few guys (not necessarily older) sitting in corners alone. I remember one of them looked like he was clearly still in denial that he was gay

My second time was at G-A-Y in London. Definitely an interesting experience. We queued up in the wrong place first time round, and so they wouldn't let us in. We were annoyed at ourselves mostly until we heard the bouncer say she didn't want to let any Asians in. But half of our group had gone in already, so we queued up at the right queue and went it in anyway. It was big, the music was good and the crowd was okay. I saw at least 2 people doing drugs, quite a few guys dancing by themselves. Surprisingly, less diversity than Birmingham. And according to my straight female friend there were quite a few straight guys there as well (I have no gaydar - you have to wave your cock in my face before I get it). Then my new friends' dancing eventually descended into various forms of crotch grinding. I left with my female friend and we went to a straight club for old people. The music was quieter and the were drinks better. It had a cool basement place where you could actually sit and talk.

I didn't feel the whole eyes-on-you thing either place I went. I know I wouldn't attract any particular attention, but some of my friends would have. It's just that these places were so busy I don't think anyone would notice anyone right away. Apparently I did get checked out a few times - this was a huge ego boost Not that I would have done anything because I had a boyfriend then, but my friend later told me she dragged me to the straight club just to make sure I couldn't hehe. All in all, I don't think I'll go again unless its someone birthday and I'm obliged to.

Edited January 5, 2013 by Traveller_23

Wally J. · January 5, 2013

What was you're first experience like going to a gay club or bar? Was it everything you expected, or nothing like you thought it would be? Was it intimidating and filled with model-quality boys or relaxed and welcoming? Did you feel liberated and finally felt like you belonged, or did it just seem so out of the norm it was scary?

I turn 21 in a couple days and will finally get to go to one in the US. I've been to one overseas a couple times, but I have a feeling it will be different here in the States compared to a foreign country. Just curious to hear people's thoughts who have experience.

Make sure you tell me what happens.. il try going there next year lol.

TetRefine · January 5, 2013

My first time at the gay club, i was 18 and was going for my best friends birthday, i was really excited just to experience it. I didnt really know what to expect but i was thinking something possibly out of the realm of babylon in queer as folk. And i was right but i was wrong if that makes sense. It was the first place where ive seen guys dancing on other guys, so its a real surreal moment when you first get there, and you'll be self conciously looking over your shoulder to see if anyones paying attention and then you realize oh there all doing the same thing. But, esentially what I learned from going is that its just an overall party, where you go to escape, get your life experience more of the gay scene then youve probably seen before. I would also suggest to never go by yourself, pregame before you go because cost of alcohol at bars and clubs are super expensive.
I need to make my way to buenos aires, sounds like a great place to partay

It funny, because before I even went to a gay club, I was expecting it to be exactly like Babylon. And you know what, it was, minus the decent minority of straight people in the club. There were tons of attractive young guys (although not a ton were shirtless), thumping music, and the back room was exactly like they show in QAF. That was an interesting experience. The best part about partying in Buenos Aires was that it was cheap. Every Saturday, the club had 100 pesos general admission (about $18) where you could drink all you wanted for that one price. Considering club drinks are usually $7-9 a piece, thats a pretty good deal especially on a Saturday night.

I also saw a bouncer choke slam a drunk guy who was trying to pick a fight with these two teenagers. Apparently there the rules are slightly more lax on breaking on fights, lol.

myself_i_must_remake · January 5, 2013

Ugh. Rewind to 2006.

Earlier tonight, I drove to Athens from Painesville in order to pick up my friends Brandy and Steve from Ohio U. Tomorrow I'm getting my black belt, and there's this whole extravaganza about it that I want them to see. As it turns out, a girl, Kaylee, who was a stumbling block to my becoming gay (and who turned out to be a lesbian herself) is also home from college this weekend.

Kaylee and Brandy call me, ask me to come out to a gay bar with them.

I hesitate and make excuses.

"But you could meet a boy."

I put on my camo shorts and black poker T-shirt, because unlike most gays I have no fashion sense, and because I don't understand that you don't wear shorts to clubs, at least not unironically.

Somewhere we pick up another girl, Cate, who is an established lesbian. I remember seeing her against the wall with any number of genderless humans in high school.

Cate drives us to Cleveland, parks us in a lot. Kaylee pulls out a bottle of 99 Bananas. Everyone passes it around. I take a few sips. It tastes foul. Kaylee, whom I'm still in the habit of trying to impress, tells me to drink more. I chug and chug.

We get out of the car. During the hundred-foot walk from the lot to the front door of the club, I become extremely drunk. On the outside, the club has old brick and white pillars. "This place looks like Abe Lincoln's house," I say.

Inside, we stand in a line where a man asks for our IDs and stamps our hands. The music is loud.

Once we've all paid our five dollars, we take to the dance floor. I don't really understand dancing, so I just dry-hump my friends. All of us make out with each other.

I use the restroom. I don't know why I am surprised to see girls in the guy's restroom.

When I come out again, my friend Brandy tells me not to get mad. "I gave a guy your phone number!" she says. At this point in my life, I still don't have a cell phone, which means he would call my house.

I defect from the group, and begin to black out. I stumble around asking guys to make out with me. At some point, I realize I'm making out with someone I don't even find attractive. I stop kissing him.

"You're really cute," he says.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

I walk away without saying anything.

I seem to blink again and the bar is closing. I don't know where I've been.

My friends usher me into the car. On the way home I vomit repeatedly out the back door, while we're going 70 on the highway. Somewhere, Kaylee has found Doritos and is throwing them everywhere.

The next morning we wake up. In my pocket is a napkin. "Look guys, a napkin."

The girls start laughing really hard. I flip over the napkin. There's a phone number with too many digits on the back.

The girls feed me my night. I was witnessed doing strange Karate dances on a platform, and then running away. At some point, a strange lesbian had come up to them and asked if they were my friends. "Your friend Billy is in the bathroom. I think he needs your help." What I'll never know is 1) how bad I must have looked that a strange lesbian actively searched out my friends for me and 2) how I managed to describe my friends so that she was able to distinguish them from the hundreds of other people there.

In short, it was horrible, but that was probably mostly my fault.

Edited January 5, 2013 by myself_i_must_remake

PrivateTim · January 5, 2013

There aren't any 18+ clubs where you live Matt?

I was a senior in high school and it wasn't well known I was swinging from both sides of the plate. Another swimmer/water polo player I knew from a rival school (and knew like Adam knew Steve) invited me to Axis Nightclub in West Hollywood on a Thursday night during Spring Break since Thursdays was an 18+ club called Varsity (how appropriate for Blake and I).

We parked and walked to the club. As we got to the outside you could hear the music thumping through the walls and actually shaking them. They were corrugated metal like old Army buildings and in fact it had been a bomb factory during WWII. There was a line and I was nervous as hell since I had no idea what to expect. We showed our IDs, but didn't get the cool, "hey I'm 21" wrist bands, just the bare wrists with a stamp that marked us as "kids".

Walking upstairs the music got louder (of course) and my anxiety soared. The first room was a bar and pool table, but Blake the veteran kept on walking through to one of the two opening where the music was coming from. We stepped through the door and my life was never the same.

Here in front of me were probably 400 men from 18-28, half or more were shirtless, sweating and gyrating to "Another Night" by Real McCoy. It wasn't just the fact that there were more gay guys than I'd ever seen in my life, more than I believed existed in Southern California, but the fact they all looked completely "normal" and completely happy. It was the first time it ever occurred to me that I could actually be happy as a guy who liked guys. It was the first time I thought, "I can do this".

Now obviously Matt you've had the chance to grow up in a slightly different time, a bit more progressive and were dating openly (I think you and Camy were open) in high school so the club may not impact you the same way, but for me it was a turning point.

I always enjoyed clubbing in WeHo and San Francisco, but never got into the "club scene" and even though I raved, would never have called myself a raver especially since I still wore my beachy attire whether it was a rave, club or whatever. I just liked dancing and still do. I wasn't much of a drinker ever so I drove a lot and don't have any cool stories about throwing up on people or waking up in strange beds and places that seemed to accentuate the club experience of so many of my friends. It also kept me alive. I have a lot of sad stories about dead friends that are the dark underbelly of the gay scene and club scene and all that the "club scene" implies. I dunno, maybe the clubs in Philly and NYC are different, but when I've been back there and visited them, they all seem the same, ditto for Dallas, Atlanta, Vegas, etc. Different cities, same scene.

Hopefully you are going with Camy, but don't be afraid to flirt and enjoy yourself, ain't no harm in teasing the boys.

Andrea · January 5, 2013

My first gay club was Tracks in Denver. I had a blast dancing with my friends (two gay boys and my bi girl best friend). My first gay bar is actually my favorite bar, Black Crown Lounge in Denver. It is a fabulous place.

TetRefine · January 6, 2013

There aren't any 18+ clubs where you live Matt?

I was a senior in high school and it wasn't well known I was swinging from both sides of the plate. Another swimmer/water polo player I knew from a rival school (and knew like Adam knew Steve) invited me to Axis Nightclub in West Hollywood on a Thursday night during Spring Break since Thursdays was an 18+ club called Varsity (how appropriate for Blake and I).

We parked and walked to the club. As we got to the outside you could hear the music thumping through the walls and actually shaking them. They were corrugated metal like old Army buildings and in fact it had been a bomb factory during WWII. There was a line and I was nervous as hell since I had no idea what to expect. We showed our IDs, but didn't get the cool, "hey I'm 21" wrist bands, just the bare wrists with a stamp that marked us as "kids".

Walking upstairs the music got louder (of course) and my anxiety soared. The first room was a bar and pool table, but Blake the veteran kept on walking through to one of the two opening where the music was coming from. We stepped through the door and my life was never the same.

Here in front of me were probably 400 men from 18-28, half or more were shirtless, sweating and gyrating to "Another Night" by Real McCoy. It wasn't just the fact that there were more gay guys than I'd ever seen in my life, more than I believed existed in Southern California, but the fact they all looked completely "normal" and completely happy. It was the first time it ever occurred to me that I could actually be happy as a guy who liked guys. It was the first time I thought, "I can do this".

Now obviously Matt you've had the chance to grow up in a slightly different time, a bit more progressive and were dating openly (I think you and Camy were open) in high school so the club may not impact you the same way, but for me it was a turning point.

I always enjoyed clubbing in WeHo and San Francisco, but never got into the "club scene" and even though I raved, would never have called myself a raver especially since I still wore my beachy attire whether it was a rave, club or whatever. I just liked dancing and still do. I wasn't much of a drinker ever so I drove a lot and don't have any cool stories about throwing up on people or waking up in strange beds and places that seemed to accentuate the club experience of so many of my friends. It also kept me alive. I have a lot of sad stories about dead friends that are the dark underbelly of the gay scene and club scene and all that the "club scene" implies. I dunno, maybe the clubs in Philly and NYC are different, but when I've been back there and visited them, they all seem the same, ditto for Dallas, Atlanta, Vegas, etc. Different cities, same scene.

Hopefully you are going with Camy, but don't be afraid to flirt and enjoy yourself, ain't no harm in teasing the boys.

There are a couple clubs and bars in Philly that have "college nights", but they are always on Wednesday nights. Up until a couple months ago I didn't bring my car down with me to campus, which meant we would of had to rely on the commuter train to get back and forth. Since the last train left at 11pm, and didn't start again until 5am, it would of meant having to spend a couple hours wandering the streets of Philly in the dark until it started again. It just never really worked out. Plus, I'm a bit of a introvert, so I need alcohol to loosen me up to get comfortable dancing around so many people and not care what I look like. I'm 21 in a couple days so that really won't matter anymore.

I wasn't at all nervous before I went to a club for the first time. I was in a foreign country 5,000 miles from home, hardly spoke Spanish, and had absolutely no expectations. The only thing I was worried about was sticking out as an obvious foreigner. My skin was lighter then most people there, and I'm much more built then the more slender and toned boys that populated the club. It turned out that I did stick out, but it was a good thing. I got some attention from a couple cute boys, and nothing is more intoxicating to a 20 year old gay boy then attention from other cute gay boys, even if I wasn't looking to go home with any of them. That attention in itself is a big motivator to keep going to the gym, lol.

We also met a really nice and sincere guy our first night there who was actually interested in talking and getting to know us, which is a rarity in those kind of places I guess. Cam and I both still keep in contact with him.

And just curious...is gay WeHo as snobby and image obsessed as the media makes it out to be?

Edited January 6, 2013 by TetRefine

PrivateTim · January 6, 2013

And just curious...is gay WeHo as snobby and image obsessed as the media makes it out to be?

It can be depending on the club because you have gay scene mashing with the entertainment and modeling world and sometimes get the worst of both worlds.

I think the Abbey is as snobby and pretentious and image obsessed as the media makes it out to be and then some, but spots like The Mother Lode is where guys who just want ice cold beer, a game of pool and some conversation and no attitude go.

For even less attitude you go to Silverlake (an area, not a club).

methodwriter85 · January 6, 2013

See, I've had no interest in going out to West Hollywood, because I figured I'd be ripped to shreds by catty queens for being a stocky guy with non-perfect features and a lack of fashion sense. I don't know- I haven't really been that interested in going out to gay clubs because of how body-obsessed the gay community can be...I met quite a few catty queen types at U of Delaware. When I met gay people in Western PA at IUP, I was shocked at how much more laidback and accepting they were.

First Experience In A Gay Bar/Club

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