word list Prompt #338 - Word List

[comicfan]

Use the following in a story – pregnant woman, hammer, blue jock strap, yellow flowers, and an apple.

[joann414]

Wonders Never Cease

 

Cassie held the small nail against the lattice work and tapped it with the hammer in her other hand.  Hammering a little harder, she finally got the metal to pierce the wood.  After a few more whacks, the two pieces of wood were nailed together.  She silently cursed KC for knocking down Jo Ann’s lattice work last night while frolicking naked around the pool with his latest conquest.  She hoped he had thorns in his ass for days to come.  Digging in her pocket for another nail, she carefully matched two more pieces of the lattice together and started hammering firmly on the head of the nail.  Hearing the back gate squeak as it opened, she did not even glance up from what she was doing.

 

“Yeah KC, I’m fixing your mess you made last night.  You better be glad Jo Ann had to work this morning and didn’t see this.”

 

“I’m sorry.  I don’t mean to disturb you.  Is KC around?”

 

Cassie looked up from her work to see a pregnant young woman standing in front of her.  She started hammering the nail into the wood again as she spoke.  “If I’m lucky, he won’t be home until later.  Why do you wanna know anyway?  Has he been harassing your husband or something?

”

“Actually, he’s the father of my baby.”  The young woman spoke the words honestly and clearly.

 

Hitting her finger with the hammer Cassie exclaimed, “What the fuck did you say?”

 

Clearing her throat loudly the young woman repeated herself.  “He’s the father of my baby.”

 

“Lady, I don’t know who you are or where you came from but are you sure you’re talking about KC?”

 

“I’m positive.  When he comes home, would you tell him that I will be back tomorrow afternoon to discuss this with him?” 

 

Cassie sat down in the grass from her squatting position and reached for the bottle of water beside her.  “It’ll be my pleasure to tell KC.  Can I offer you something cold to drink?”

 

“No, thank you.  I have to go to a funeral in about an hour.  I would love to have a bouquet of those beautiful yellow flowers though.  My best friend’s mom loved yellow.”  The young woman’s words surprised Cassie.

 

“Sure, I’ll pick you a bouquet and I even have a plastic vase for you to put them in.”  Cassie proceeded to pick over two dozen of the flowers and then went into the utility shed to get a vase and a square of moist oasis.  After hastily arranging the flowers, she handed them to the woman.  “There, you’re welcome to them.  It’s the least I can do.”

 

“Thank you so much um…”

 

Cassie held out her hand.  “Cassie, my name is Cassie.  I’ll tell KC you came by.  I’m sorry about your friend’s mom.”

 

“I’m Bitsy, and thank you for your condolences and the flowers.”  The young woman turned and went out the gate as softly as she came in, the squeaking of the gate the only evidence of her presence.

 

Cassie got up to go inside and get a beer.  The sun was hot as hell and she couldn’t believe what she’d just heard from her visitor.  “KC will never learn.”  She mumbled to herself as she opened the refrigerator and retrieved two beers, the first one lasting for only two big gulps.  Dropping the bottle in the garbage, she slipped off her sandals and sat down in the middle of the ceramic tiled kitchen floor, enjoying the coolness against her heated legs.  “Jo Ann is going to kill him if this is true.”  She laid down, her back against the hard floor and dozed until the smoke alarms in the house woke her.

 

“Dammit!  I was going to surprise Jo Ann with an Angel Food cake.  Shit, shit, shit.  I’ve got to get my head on straight.”  Cassie scolded herself as she got the seared cake from the oven.  Looking it over, she decided she could trim the edges and salvage most of the cake.  Evidently the batter had dripped into the bottom of the oven causing all the smoke.  After turning the cake upside down on the pedestal, she opened all the windows in the kitchen and propped the back door open.  She heard someone knocking on the front door as she switched on the ceiling fans above the dining room table to keep the smoke at bay.

 

Opening the front door she found Wayne standing on the porch.  “Hi guy.  We don’t usually get to see you on Saturdays.  What’s going on?”

 

“One of my co-workers had family coming in during the week and swapped with me.  First full weekend I’ve had in a while.  As usual, I’m baking…and begging.”  Wayne walked into the house and across the living room into the dining room helping himself to an apple out of the wooden bowl in the center of the table.  He took a bite before continuing.  “I know Jo and I shelled and put up quite a few pecans but I must’ve given away more than I should have.  I’m slap out of them and I obligated myself to homemade butter pecan ice cream to take over to Mark’s this evening.  Ya’ll are coming aren’t you?”

 

“That’s the plan but things are a little weird around here.”  Cassie went to get another beer.

 

Wayne snorted.  “I thought things were always weird around here.  KC still lives here.”  He laughed out loud then but stopped when he saw the look on Cassie’s face.

 

“Ok, spill.  What’s going on or should I ask what he’s done this time.”  Wayne was a little concerned at the look on Cassie’s face.

 

“Some pregnant woman came here today and she said the baby belonged to KC.  She was serious and very humble.  I don’t know what to think and Jo Ann is going to have a shit fit if KC has done something like this.  He swore to her he’d slow down with his drinking, and surely he’d have to be drunk to be able to get it up for a female.”

 

Wayne was trying to get his breath since he’d sucked apple down his windpipe when he heard the news.

 

Noticing him gasping for breath, Cassie walked over and did the Heimlich maneuver on him, a bite of apple flying across the room.

 

“Oh my god!  Are you sure?  Did she say that she knew for sure it was KC?  Where is that idiot anyway?  Someone needs to either talk some sense into him or kick his ass.  Good grief.  What next?  I thought after he got caught with the Sheriff’s son in law and the sheriff threatened to hang him by his balls he’d quit some of his irresponsibleness.”  Wayne sat down in one of the chairs around the dining table.

 

Cassie sat down in the chair across from him.  “By the way, I’m sure Jo Ann would want you to take all the pecans you need.  She loves you to death.”

 

“Hi guys.  Be right back.”  KC stuck his head around the corner to speak to the two sitting at the table.

 

“Oh no you don’t.  Get yourself back in here.  NOW!”  Wayne was never stern but he was now. 

 

“I’m glad you’re here.  Maybe we can get this crap straightened out before Jo Ann gets here.”  Cassie looked gratefully at Wayne.

“I better make him come in here.  He might not come out until he’s taken a shower and everything.”  Cassie started toward KC’s door.  Stopping in front of it, she wrapped loudly with her knuckles.  “Come out here now KC.  There’s something we need to talk to you about.”

 

“I said I’d be there in a few.  Chill out, will ya?”  KC‘s voice came through the closed door.

 

“No, I will not chill out!  Now get your ass in here and get it in here now!”  Cassie banged on the door with both hands.

 

KC jerked the door open and stood there in nothing but a blue jock strap, his manhood proudly tenting the front at half-mast.  “I was trying to enjoy my new movie and you start banging on my door.  See, even little man is mad.  If you could see his head, it would be red too.  Wanna see?”

 

“Don’t you dare pull that thing out KC. Get in the dining room and sit down.  Wayne and I need to talk to you.”

 

KC slinked into the dining room, the tent in the front of his thongs slowly deflating.  “Why is it always me?  What’s going on now?  I haven’t fooled with any married men.  I’ve returned all your make up I borrowed and I haven’t charged anything on your Victoria’s Secret card.”

 

Cassie sat down across from the two men.  “It seems you got a young lady pregnant.”

 

“What?  You’re kidding right?  I don’t have time to be joking around.  I wanna watch my new movie before we go to Mark’s house tonight.  You know, get revved up.”

 

“KC, she’s not kidding.  Seems the pregnant lady came to the house today and was sure it was you.”  Wayne’s tone told KC all he needed to know.

 

“Whoa now.  I haven’t um...screwed a female.  Not now, not ever.  She’s lying.  I can’t even get it up for a female.  Well, there was that once with you Cassie, but I was really drunk and you had those neat toys.  Yeah, I remember that one that vibrated at six different speeds.  It did so many things to the inside of my…”

 

“KC!  Be serious.”  Cassie slapped her hand on the table.

 

“Read my lips.  I did not get any one pregnant!  Anyway, Mark and I’ve been hooking up again.  He’s all I need as long as his boyfriend isn’t around.  Then, I like to sneak around and get me a little bit of him too.”

 

“I did not just hear that.”  Wayne covered his ears and rolled his eyes.

 

The sound of the doorbell startled the three.  Nobody used the front doorbell.  They always just knocked or walked in.  Cassie went and opened the door to see the pregnant girl standing there.

 

“May I come in?”  The girl stared down at her feet as she spoke.

 

Cassie stood back and motioned for her to come in and then led her into the dining room.

Seeing the girl’s face turn red, Cassie grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over KC’s lap.  The puzzling thing was that the girl showed no reaction to KC other than his nakedness.

 

Cassie pulled the chair out beside her for the girl to sit in.  After the two sat down, the girl folded her hands on the table in front of her.

“One of you must be KC.”

 

“Not me!”  Wayne’s words echoed throughout the dining room.  “I’m Cassie’s friend.”

 

KC sat silent, waiting for the girl to continue.

 

“Are you KC?”  Raising her head, the girl looked at KC.

 

“Yes.  I’m him and I’ve never laid eyes on you.”

 

“I know that now.  I got drunk a few months ago and went to get a tattoo.  There was a guy there and we hooked up that night.  He called me a couple of times after that, but I wouldn’t answer because I was ashamed of being so promiscuous.  It wasn’t like me.  I was getting over a bad break up.  Then I found out I was pregnant and knew it was his.  All I could remember was the initials KC tattooed on his left shoulder.  That’s all I had to go on when I started looking for him.  I’d deleted his numbers from my phone.  When I finally told my Uncle Mann this morning and told him I’d been here to confront you, he almost blew a gasket he laughed so hard.  It wasn’t because I was pregnant but because I said you were the dad.  I explained to him that I’d asked several people in town if they’d heard of a guy named KC and everyone knew you.  You’re quite popular by the way.”

 

KC preened and then slid down in his chair when Wayne slapped him upside the head.

 

“On the other hand, Uncle Mann knew exactly who had the initials KC and took me to him after the funeral today.  Sure enough, there he was and was actually excited to see me, pregnant and all.  So, I had to come and apologize and straighten out my mistake.  I’m sorry.”

 

Cassie silently breathed a sigh of relief and said, “Thank you and I hope everything works out for the two of you.”

 

“Me too.  You seem like a nice young lady.”  Wayne poked KC in the side, causing him to jump.

 

“Yeah, I’m sure you’ll be a great mom and I’d been proud to call it mine if it had belonged to me.”  KC smiled handsomely.

The young woman excused herself and left.

 

“Are you nuts?  You would’ve been proud to call it yours…”  Cassie mimicked KC.  Did you not listen to the girl?  She’s Mann’s niece.  He would’ve killed you by slow torture.  You’re a nutcase.”

 

“I didn’t even do anything and you’re still bitching at me.  Now, can I go finish watching my movie before Jo Ann get home?  She hates for me to watch porn before dark.”

 

Wayne sighed.  “If I lived here, I’d be on so many drugs to keep me calm that people would think I was a Zombie.  Weird isn’t the word for this place.  It’s more like a crazy house.  I’ve gotta go.”

 

“Come on and we’ll get the pecans for you.”  Cassie rose from her chair, both men getting up at the same time.

 

“See, the little fellow is excited about the movie too.  He’s already standing up.”

 

“OH my god!  Get me the pecans and let me get out of here.”  Wayne’s face matched the red of the head sticking out the top of the thongs.

 

finis

 

  

 

 

 

Edited July 16, 2014 by joann414

[Slytherin]

You are crazy Jo Ann, in a good way. I liked it !  

 

I wish you would put all your prompts in your "story section" so I can go back and read them again

[Cole Matthews]

Great story Jo Ann! I especially loved you as the absent and constant threat. Oh, and KC's inability to stay inside his strap. That was a hoot!!!

[Jaro_423]

Wow! You guys sure take the mickey out of each other through these stories. Not sure that they should be for public consumption! Haha!

[Mann Ramblings]

OMG, Joann! LMAO I can't believe you did that!

[K.C.]

     Woman! You crack me up!!

[Kitt]

Hush Jaro, we all look forward to Joann's prompts. We love to see what sort of trouble she gets KC into next!

 

Loved every work Jo!

[wolfwriter]

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/wolfwriter/themarine/4