Eew-Day Tuesday (Eew! Eew!)

[Zombie]

growing up, my family had a pet sausage dog. A greedy sausage dog - ate anything.

 

Some friends of my mum's were staying, with a toddler being potty trained (you can see where this is going... ). The toddler was basically a biological system of leaking orifices. The friend thanked my mum for having emptied a particularly unpleasant pot load. She explained she hadn't. Then they noticed the sausage dog licking its lips...

[drpaladin]

growing up, my family had a pet sausage dog. A greedy sausage dog - ate anything.

 

Some friends of my mum's were staying, with a toddler being potty trained (you can see where this is going... ). The toddler was basically a biological system of leaking orifices. The friend thanked my mum for having emptied a particularly unpleasant pot load. She explained she hadn't. Then they noticed the sausage dog licking its lips...

Which is why I never liked being licked by a dog. They'll lick or eat practically anything.

[wildone]

Was working at a major arena where the circus was in town

 

Saw a 5-6 year old throw up right in the middle of the concourse an abhorrently large amount of cola, cotton candy, candy, ice cream and whatever else the kid somehow managed to get into his stomach that day. So while one coworker went to find a maintenance worker to clean up the Lake Superior of vomit, I stayed around the putrid smelling area (trust me, I nearly lost it due to the smell) to warn people away from it.

 

Right on cue comes angry Mom with dragging two kids behind her yelling at them for not using the bathroom earlier. She is dressed to the nines and in heels. I am between her and the Sea of Núrnen of Mordor and try to stop her and her kids from entering the abyss.

 

But no, she yells at me to get the hell out of her way and side steps me. It was like a horror show that you can't turn yourself away from Down she went in her heels and went sliding a few feet. Worse, her innocent kids came down with her and and were lost in the pool of ick too.

 

Before I lost my own cookies, I had to turn and look away. She was suddenly not so vocal and all I heard was the uh uh uh uh uh of her stunned as she found herself on the ground in puke. As a couple of maintenance workers showed up with mop buckets she righted herself and her two kids and stormed out the nearest emergency exit. Don't think the workers had much to clean up as she and the kids took most of it with them.

 

I wonder if her kids got to use the bathroom .

[Zombie]

I stayed around the putrid smelling area... to warn people away from it. Right on cue comes angry Mom with dragging two kids behind her yelling at them for not using the bathroom earlier. She is dressed to the nines and in heels. I am between her and the Sea of Núrnen of Mordor and try to stop her and her kids from entering the abyss.

 

But no, she yells at me to get the hell out of her way and side steps me... Down she went in her heels and went sliding a few feet... She was suddenly not so vocal and all I heard was the uh uh uh uh uh of her stunned as she found herself on the ground in puke. As a couple of maintenance workers showed up with mop buckets she righted herself and her two kids and stormed out the nearest emergency exit. Don't think the workers had much to clean up as she and the kids took most of it with them.

 

that sounds like a result to me

[The_Jordanator]

Was working at a major arena where the circus was in town

 

Saw a 5-6 year old throw up right in the middle of the concourse an abhorrently large amount of cola, cotton candy, candy, ice cream and whatever else the kid somehow managed to get into his stomach that day. So while one coworker went to find a maintenance worker to clean up the Lake Superior of vomit, I stayed around the putrid smelling area (trust me, I nearly lost it due to the smell) to warn people away from it.

 

Right on cue comes angry Mom with dragging two kids behind her yelling at them for not using the bathroom earlier. She is dressed to the nines and in heels. I am between her and the Sea of Núrnen of Mordor and try to stop her and her kids from entering the abyss.

 

But no, she yells at me to get the hell out of her way and side steps me. It was like a horror show that you can't turn yourself away from Down she went in her heels and went sliding a few feet. Worse, her innocent kids came down with her and and were lost in the pool of ick too.

 

Before I lost my own cookies, I had to turn and look away. She was suddenly not so vocal and all I heard was the uh uh uh uh uh of her stunned as she found herself on the ground in puke. As a couple of maintenance workers showed up with mop buckets she righted herself and her two kids and stormed out the nearest emergency exit. Don't think the workers had much to clean up as she and the kids took most of it with them.

 

I wonder if her kids got to use the bathroom .

Eeeeww! That is a fecal throwback nightmare! I'm totally grossed out!

[drpaladin]

This one is gross in more ways than one. Someone I know was at a campground and had to use the bathroom. The facility was an old fashioned outhouse, a building with a seat and hole positioned over a pit. He finished his business, but before he left he heard a cough. He looked down through the hole and there was a guy down there wearing a diving mask holding a flashlight. Eeww!

[The_Jordanator]

Eew eew! Omigod, it's Eews-day Tuesday!

 

Welcome to another week of eew. The winner for last weeks Eews-day Tuesday was.....Wildone!!! With his gross vomiting story at the fair. Totally disgusting. Will you be the winner of Eews-day Tuesday this week in our animal special?

 

What gross thing does your animal do, or what gross thing do you do with your animal?

Sometimes I pick my own sleep out of my own eyes and eat it. If that's not gross enough, I sometimes pick and eat the sleep out of my cat's eyes! (Eew! Eew!) it's not as bad as you think, trust me.

 

Reply here to top my submission for Eews day Tuesday:

[Puppilull]

Hmm... You and eating gross stuff... I think you might need therapy!

 

Our cats did this really eew! thing. If one of them ate too much dry cat food, it would vomit. Then the other would stroll by and eat the vomited food! Eew!

[Zombie]

looks like I was a week early with my last one

 

Anyways, Puppilull's just reminded me that my bro had a lovely black labrador bitch. I don't recall she was a punk bitch but she was another greedy dog.

 

Then my bro got a BL puppy. He was amazed that it was perfectly house trained - no mess anywhere

 

...until he spotted the puppy doing its worst on the kitchen floor...

 

which was immediately gobbled up...

 

still warm and fresh...

 

 

*is feeling unwell*

 

 

 

 

 

.

Edited July 7, 2015 by Zombie

[Defiance19]

It seems this is a common dog/cat problem.

 

I was laying on my couch reading, my Rottie decided to upchuck. It was vile so naturally I responded in kind. Didn't make it to the bathroom, but I had nothing to worry about. By the time I made it back there was nothing... Hers or mine, to clean up. 

 

If if I ever see her eating her 'warm and freshies' though, I don't know what I'll do.. That may be a deal breaker.

[blake_logan]

I used to have two Labrador Retrievers who were apparently part goat....they would eat anything....paper, sticks, tin cans, plastic bottles ... well, you get the picture.  If something irritated their stomach, they would throw it up and usually swallow it again, but that's pretty normal for dogs.

 

I also have a relatively large back yard...almost an acre inside the chain link fence and mostly wooded. The patio door in my bedroom opens to a deck which leads down to the enclosed yard.  When nature calls, I just have to let the dogs out on the deck and they have free run of the space to attend to their bodily functions, chase rabbits, squirrels and other wildlife and to otherwise just be dogs.  This works a lot better for me than putting the dogs on leash, walking through the neighborhood with the little plastic bags to clean up after them and the subsequent transportation of the filled backs home for disposal.

 

At any rate, one night around 3:00 one morning I woke up to that unmistakable rhythmic grunting sound of a dog getting ready to vomit, which was followed shortly by a loud splash which was followed shortly by a wall of stench that made me gag and set my eyes to watering.

 

Apparently during their pre-bedtime pitstop, one of the dogs overindulged in deer poop, decided that he didn't like the taste it left in his mouth and filled up on water before he came back inside for the evening.  Over the next few hours, the combination turned into a thick brown slurry of sewage in his stomach which he eventually emptied into my bedroom.

 

I turned on the lights to see the dog sitting in his crate in a pool of this brown muck. I contemplated moving the crate with the dog still in it out to the deck and returning to bed to deal with it in the morning ... maybe that would discourage him from eating deer poop in the future...but between the smell and the spills on the rug, I had to go ahead and clean up in the middle of the night.

 

To make a long story short, I put the dog outside on the back deck and managed to get the crate full of sewage into the bathroom with minimal spills.  I drained the crate into the toilet then washed it out in the shower.  Next, I pulled out the rug cleaner to shampoo the spots that managed to get out of the crate.  Finally, I had to wash the dog, since he was covered in the brown sludge.

 

Just as I was finishing up, my alarm went off and I had to get ready for work.  It was not a fun day.

 

I'm not sure if all that beats eating cat boogers, but it's the 'ewww-iest' pet related story I could come up with.

[The_Jordanator]

Eeeeww!!! Can anyone top Black Logan?

[AceKebabs]

I kiss my dog right after he sniffs some other dogs droppings lol not because I like too but i always forgot 

[Drew Espinosa]

I kiss my dog right after he sniffs some other dogs droppings lol not because I like too but i always forgot 

Poor Dear! ...but no kiss

[JamesSavik]

One of my cats hopped in my lap... and barfed.

 

Lap barfing is pretty bad but regurgitated deer crap- that's pretty epic.

 

It would be pretty hard to beat blake_logan

Edited July 8, 2015 by jamessavik

[Celethiel]

hows this, My mother was working in a care center... and one of the old ladies was sick she had to go clean up the floor of the room, then the lady leaned over and... threw up in her hair.... my mother had fiarly long hair at the time...

[The_Jordanator]

hows this, My mother was working in a care center... and one of the old ladies was sick she had to go clean up the floor of the room, then the lady leaned over and... threw up in her hair.... my mother had fiarly long hair at the time...

Eeeewwwww!

[Celethiel]

Eeeewwwww!

yeah that's how my mother feels every time she thinks of it...

[drpaladin]

Damn this thread. So far it has served to pull all manner of disgusting things that I have seen or heard of out of the depths of my memory. Some of those included the smells that were carefully recorded and filed alongside them. 

 

  This memory recall pulled up this one from long ago. This boy had terrible acne. He would come to school with these large, pus filled eruptions on his face. He would methodically squeeze each one, scoop the yellow ooze on his finger, and lick it off.

[Menace]

Well here comes my story for this week.

It's inappropriate, so kids don't read it. 

 

So a while back, I visited China and went to a beach. It was a pretty popular beach. I even see a few European and others mixed at this beach.  Now first of all, this beach wasn't like an American beach or anything like you. It was regulated with shark nets but kind of country sided (carefree?). It wasn't located in a major city. It was in the country side. So, I was there for like an hour. I was in the ocean where my feet can touch the sand/floor.  I turned around and I see this guy. He looked around in the mid 30s. He like a medium build man who had like a small beer belly. And the first thing i notice was his freaken g-string. He wasn't wearing a speedo. It was a g-string. The black g-string did no cover his area at all. Everyone can see his full area. The most disturbing thing was that there was a full matt of hair all over it. Some were even sticking out. If he turned to his sides, you can see his schlong and the freaken fur ball. The most disturbing I ever seen in my life.

[The_Jordanator]

Omigod it's Eews-day Tuesday! This forum is getting quite popular actually, so much to the fact that Menace has already contributed this weeks EDT story. And it made me go eew!

The winner of last weeks EDT is....Celethiel! That by far is gross Cele.

Now my turn. I was trying to think of something to post on here when I remembered this very horrible and gross story.

Me and my family were in a Sydney Hotel and Dad, my sis and me decided to go jump in the spa pool on one night. When we got there, we found a middle aged man by himself in the spa. When he saw us, he suddenly paled and looked quite fidgety and nervous. He actually got out of the pool and left so that didn't worry us. Dad and my sis hopped in the spa straight away, but I delayed a little because I think I was taking off my watch or something. But I'm glad I didn't hop in with them, because my sis says: "Hey, what's that stuff in my hair and in my ear?" Dad also agrees because he has the same problem. They look at me and when I look at them, I notice the jelly-like, milky stuff sticking to their hair and faces!!!!

 

Bet you can't top that! Share your Eews day Tuesday story with us!

[drpaladin]

A guy I knew in college had been incorrigible growing up, so his family sent him off to a military school to tame him. For reference purposes, it didn't work. He was one of the most interesting characters I've ever known. One of the punishments at this school was kitchen duty because it was hot, dirty, and labor intensive. One thing he learned from kitchen duty was to never eat the mashed potatoes. The secret revenge for kitchen duty was to add your own special cream to them. I've never looked at institutional mashed potatoes quite the same since.

[Caz Pedroso]

Couple of jokes for you, Happy Eew-Day

 

Man walks in to a bar "Have you got a fork please?" he asks the barman. The barman gives him a fork and he walks out.

A few moments later another man walks in. "Have you got a fork please?" he asks. The barman gives him a fork and he leaves.

A third man comes in, and a fourth, all asking for a fork. By now the barman is very curious.

Finally a fifth person comes in. "Have you got a straw please?" he asks.

The barman has had enough. "Why do you want a straw when the others wanted forks?"

"Well," he man replies, "Someone's been sick outside and all the lumps are gone."

 

 

(sung to the tune of frère Jacques)

School dinners, School dinners,

Concrete chips, Concrete chips

Runny semolina, Runny semolina,

I feel sick, Bathroom quick

It's too late, Done it on the plate.

 

:gikkle:

[Zombie]

One thing he learned from kitchen duty was to never eat the mashed potatoes. The secret revenge for kitchen duty was to add your own special cream to them. I've never looked at institutional mashed potatoes quite the same since.

Bet there are some folks would want second helpings...

[Zombie]

I like black pudding. It's made by pouring fresh blood with added fatty bits into a long sausage tube. Then it's boiled.

So basically it's a giant blood clot with lumps of fat in it *licks lips*