New Author Looking For Editor And Reveiwer

[6819zulu]

Hi I'm a first time author looking for some one to edit and review my first attempt at a story ever.  I want someone to read it before I post it.

thanks Ted

[rec]

You might excerpt a page or two to give potential editors a view

 

[Graeme]

I'm moving this to the editor's corner. Hopefully someone there will be able to help you. However, as rec has said, an excerpt will help potential editors get a feel for not only your style, but also you storytelling skills

[6819zulu]

Gabe

Chapter 1 Returning Home

 

The room was dark and quiet except, for the beep of the medical monitors and a small reading lite in the corner. Gabe Darby sat in one of the chairs under the light, book in hand but not reading, in fact he hadn't turned a page in over an hour. Gabe just sat there staring at the small form of his mother laying in the hospital bed face bandaged left foot in a cast. The doctors were keeping her sedated because of her ribs that had been crushed when the car had hit the tree. Gabe gave thanks that his father had given his Lincoln Town car to her. His company had given him a promotion that came with a corporate car for his latest patten that had save the company hundreds of millions of dollars. That huge car had saved his mother. A smaller car would not have protected her as well as that “badmouth” as she like to call the Lincoln. Gabe smiled at the thought of his tiny mother driving that huge two door 1972 Lincoln Town car.

 

Carolyn Darby was a small women she stood five foot three and weighed a 140 pounds. Carol had to sit on a pad to see over the steering wheel of that big car. Though small in stature she was huge in heart the mother of seven children five boys and two girls, she had more love to share than any one Gabe had ever meet.

 

She was a stay at home mom that did volunteer work for St. Catherine's Catholic Church. She had married Gabe's father after his stint in the navy during WWII. Nine moths after the wedding her first son Micheal (Mike) was born. Raphael (Raph) came along 14 months later. Then came Zadekiel (Zad)16 months later. Two years later came Margret, then 18 months later came Gabriel (Gabe) then two years later Rachel was born. The doctor told Evelyn no more as the bought of Rheumatic fever had sever;y weakened her. But four years after along came Patrick. Gabe's Mom had run out of angel names by then.

 

As Gabe sat there thinking about his mother a large figure stepped into the doorway. Gabe looked up to see his father standing there. A.J. Darby was a large man he stood six foot three was 180 pounds of barrel chest and hard muscle. A.J slowly walked to the bed side, bowed his head and held Evelyn's hand for a few minutes. Then he bent and kissed her gently on the forehead. He sat in the chair beside Gabe and sighed. Gabe reached for his fathers hand and held tightly for a few seconds then half smiled at his father.

 

“The doctors are going to keep her under for at least a week to help those ribs heal.” said A.J. “ They say she will be here in the hospital for at least a month. After that she should be strong enough to come home. “

[Kitt]

I wish I had the time to help. It is an intriguing start. Good luck finding the right editor to form your team. I look forward to publication.

[6819zulu]

Thanks for the encouragement

[Mikas]

Dear Ted zulu

 

I'm sorry I haven't said anything before, this week was awfully crazy.

 

I loved your first chapter, however, at least for now, I can't offer myself to be your editor, but I would like to tell you that your chapter looks amazing, and I'm sure it will provide readers with a great and meaningful story. I'm looking forward to reading the story in its fullest.

 

Keep writing, don't give up, because you sound like you are very good.

 

[6819zulu]

Thanks Mikas I understand about the editing.  I really appreciate your encouragement i sure you know other editor please suggest that they check me out and also beta readers on last question where should i post my complete first chapter in new submissions or a particular genre?

 

Thanks Again 

Ted

[Ron]

Ted, bud, what we have here in five paragraphs is an information dump. We have background, a vague beginning and no sense of direction. Disregarding the jetsam, why should someone want to read your story? That is the first and foremost question that you should be asking yourself.

 

I suggest that you rethink how you want to approach your audience—how best to capture their attention—before asking for a beta reader. Only afterward should you ask for editorial help. I don't say these things to discourage you, because I know from experience just how difficult it is to put pen to paper (so to speak) and make sense of it, but you need to review your work before proceeding.

 

Best of luck to you, Ted.

[Valkyrie]

Thanks Mikas I understand about the editing.  I really appreciate your encouragement i sure you know other editor please suggest that they check me out and also beta readers on last question where should i post my complete first chapter in new submissions or a particular genre?

 

Thanks Again 

Ted

When you post your chapter, you will have options available to choose which genre(s) you would like to list.  I was drawn in by your snippet.  I think it's a good start.  It needs a little cleaning up, but that's why you're posting here.  Unfortunately, I don't have the time to take on any new projects either.  If I hear of someone looking to help, I'll definitely send them your way.  In the meantime, keep on writing.  I look forward to reading the entire first chapter.   

[Carlos Hazday]

Ted, bud, what we have here in five paragraphs is an information dump. We have background, a vague beginning and no sense of direction. Disregarding the jetsam, why should someone want to read your story? That is the first and foremost question that you should be asking yourself.

 

I suggest that you rethink how you want to approach your audience—how best to capture their attention—before asking for a beta reader. Only afterward should you ask for editorial help. I don't say these things to discourage you, because I know from experience just how difficult it is to put pen to paper (so to speak) and make sense of it, but you need to review your work before proceeding.

 

Best of luck to you, Ted.

I'll repeat what Ron says.

 

When I first posted an excerpt from Summer I received similar advice. I spent more time in that initial chapter describing a location than anything else. My 'info dump" got revised and then I found a good editor to help me. It still was a mess but much less so. Being my first attempt at writing there were so many rookie mistakes today I cringe when I go back and read that first book in the series.

 

But I didn't quit and neither should you. If there's a story inside you clamoring to come out, take the time to make it the best it can be. And don't be scared to ask questions while you tinker with what you have. There's a lot of talented individuals on GA who're always willing to share their experiences and knowledge.

 

Best of luck, Ted.

 

Carlos

[Kitt]

Ted, bud, what we have here in five paragraphs is an information dump. We have background, a vague beginning and no sense of direction. Disregarding the jetsam, why should someone want to read your story? That is the first and foremost question that you should be asking yourself.

 

I suggest that you rethink how you want to approach your audience—how best to capture their attention—before asking for a beta reader. Only afterward should you ask for editorial help. I don't say these things to discourage you, because I know from experience just how difficult it is to put pen to paper (so to speak) and make sense of it, but you need to review your work before proceeding.

 

Best of luck to you, Ted.

While many of the things Ron said are true, I don't agree about waiting to find help. Finding a good team you can work with is important for more than just editing/beta reading. I count the authors I work with as dear friends. We discuss the stories for the conversation, not just to fix problems. With two of "my" authors, we discuss where the story is headed.

 

What I am rambling on about is it is never too early to assemble a good team.