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Freerider

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I decided to post this, because it is something I am very curious about.
There are straight/female writers here, writing stories about gay males. 
Some stories are really insightful. So much so, that I would have expected them to be written by a gay/bi male.
So now I am wondering why these writers are motivated to write about sexuality that is not theirs?

 

I have pondered this and came up with only two possibilities:

  • the profile gender is not really the true gender of the writer
  • the writer has someone very close that is gay, like a son/brother

 

Any thoughts on this are much appreciated :)

 

 

Edited by Freerider
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Why not? Though, while I am a woman married to a man, I'm bisexual so 'straight' doesn't exactly apply. But, who and what I am doesn't have to be just what I write. Why do some straight men write stories that have female main character P.O.V? M.L. Buchman, Brindle Chase, Nico Rosso, Wayne Johnson, Carmel Thomson are all hetero romance writers, for example. The same goes for authors who aren't gay men, yet write fiction featuring gay men. People who aren't murderers write murder mysteries. No one's out there exploring alien planets and meeting new beings, but there's a thriving scifi market for authors. It's all about imagination and what works for each author personally.

 

For me, I simply try to write characters that have full lives. Issues revolving around sexuality are rarely a central theme in my stories, and usually comes into play because of the romance element that I do like to write in most of my work. I think I write 'gay men' well because I write men well (I certainly prefer it to writing women, though I can/have done straight and bi romance fiction as well). That, and I had/have a great system of feedback FROM gay men, letting me know what I did right as I learned to fully explore characterization.

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19 minutes ago, Freerider said:

I decided to post this, because it is something I am very curious about.
There are straight/female writers here, writing stories about gay males. 
Some stories are really insightful. So much so, that I would have expected them to be written by a gay/bi male.
So now I am wondering why these writers are motivated to write about sexuality that is not theirs?

 

I have pondered this and came up with only two possibilities:

  • the profile gender is not really the true gender of the writer
  • the writer has someone very close that is gay, like a son/brother

 

Any thoughts on this are much appreciated :)

 

 

Welcome, Freerider! What Cia said. Writers are only limited by their imaginations. I can write straight women, straight men, shifters, weird Santas, life after death, cowboys... you get my point. It could get pretty boring to stick to one facet of life. We create, and there are whole worlds out there to draw from, but if we can't find ones that speak to us, we can make up new ones :). And I agree, there are amazing women writers on here producing superb M/M romance. I've learned a lot from them. Cheers... Gary....

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I'm not a writer but if I were to write - and write about gay men - one of the reasons would be because it's sexy. I guess it's like straight men fantasizing about 2 women.

Plus as a straight women having discovered m/m stories I now find m/f stories more... how to say this... let's say boring. 

 

As to why a straight woman can write a great m/m story, I'm not sure. Maybe like you say they know someone who told them things, lot of reading... so may reasons why. But I dont see why a writer would lie about their gender pretending to be straight woman and what they would get of it.

 

Something to go with your topic about gender/stories I noted is I find mm stories written by gay men more sensitive, a good description of feelings... better than some straight stories written by straight men which seems more "clinic".

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You aren't the first and you certainly won't be the last person asking this question. I'm one of the authors who doesn't write romance stories (generally can't stomach them) and I try to use my personal experiences while crafting a tale. Because of this, my main characters are gay men. Yes, I have females and straight men in my stories but they're in supporting roles. Inspiration for those comes from family and friends. I love writing dialogue and I think it works well most of the time because I base a lot of it on conversations I've overheard or been a part of.

 

In the end it comes down to what we feel comfortable with, what we have experience with, and to imagination as Cia and Gary have pointed out.

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Yes, @Carlos Hazday is right. It's actually popped up in so many different topics in a variety of ways.

 

This reply to the 'Annoying Phrases' topic by DarkCrow99 mentions it, though I like Clumber's response too.

And there are 24 posts in this topic revolving around women writing gay fiction.

And then there's this topic which is about why "non-gay" members exist on the site at all.

 

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Thank you for your replies.

It does explain a lot for me. Like that my use of the search engine is poor :P

Just kidding, I am slowly starting to understand.

Also, the older topics make for an interesting read. 

 

                  Reply to Annoying Phrases               

 

This post touches on why I was surprised finding convincing stories from straight/women authors. I expect straight/women authors to think in these hetero roles. Feminizing the bottom, etc. 

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44 minutes ago, Freerider said:

 

                  Reply to Annoying Phrases               

 

This post touches on why I was surprised finding convincing stories from straight/women authors. I expect straight/women authors to think in these hetero roles. Feminizing the bottom, etc. 

I think that has a lot to do with "older" generations focus on male/female gender stereotypes. There's this perception of how 'this sort of action is feminine versus masculine'. I know a straight guy who can flip his wrist and roll his eyes like a champ. My construction worker big, burly husband cries anytime he watches a dog die in a movie. I'm definitely not a feminine woman, especially in regards to being very emotional or sentimental. If every character comes across the same way and authors don't take some of the basic differences between men and women into account, it can read as false, but just because some male characters might behave more 'womanly' doesn't mean it's wrong or just something women write. I think the true question really becomes--are the male characters really feminized or do some men who complain about characters who are 'chicks with dicks' just prefer to read characters who don't have a strong feminine side?

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5 minutes ago, Cia said:

I think that has a lot to do with "older" generations focus on male/female gender stereotypes. There's this perception of how 'this sort of action is feminine versus masculine'. I know a straight guy who can flip his wrist and roll his eyes like a champ. My construction worker big, burly husband cries anytime he watches a dog die in a movie. I'm definitely not a feminine woman, especially in regards to being very emotional or sentimental. If every character comes across the same way and authors don't take some of the basic differences between men and women into account, it can read as false, but just because some male characters might behave more 'womanly' doesn't mean it's wrong or just something women write. I think the true question really becomes--are the male characters really feminized or do some men who complain about characters who are 'chicks with dicks' just prefer to read characters who don't have a strong feminine side?

I totally agree. I'll just touch on one thing. Many men are raised to think there is a right, or preferred, way for men to act (it applies to women as well, but I am speaking of my own experience in this instance). That was my reality growing up. Possibly my biggest shock when I entered the gay community, was how that same attitude was prevalent in gay men. I didn't expect it, but there is definitely a section of gay men who think there is a 'right' gay, and a 'wrong' gay. For some, 'swish' is deplorable... I expected more tolerance, but maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised. Stuff ingrained in childhood is tough to let go of, no matter what your orientation. That same coloring, I think, applies to reading. We all have our own prejudices there as well. 

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10 minutes ago, Headstall said:

I totally agree. I'll just touch on one thing. Many men are raised to think there is a right, or preferred, way for men to act (it applies to women as well, but I am speaking of my own experience in this instance). That was my reality growing up. Possibly my biggest shock when I entered the gay community, was how that same attitude was prevalent in gay men. I didn't expect it, but there is definitely a section of gay men who think there is a 'right' gay, and a 'wrong' gay. For some, 'swish' is deplorable... I expected more tolerance, but maybe I shouldn't have been so surprised. Stuff ingrained in childhood is tough to let go of, no matter what your orientation. That same coloring, I think, applies to reading. We all have our own prejudices there as well. 

 

I was writing a response to Cia but deleted it after I saw your post.

Your post says what I wanted to say, but you said it so much better ;)  

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Hi! I have no idea if my stories/characters fall within the believable category or not, but I'm a straight female writing MM. So why? In part, it's because of what Clo said. It's hot. I came here reading the naughty stories and even though I have evolved beyond that in my reading (though I like a good sex scene...),  when I tried writing it came natural to write two men. 

 

At first for fun and I started out with a vampire story, so it was make believe from the start. Then I wrote a more serious, but romantic story and still wrote men. 

 

A friend has suggested I do this to have a distance to my subject. Maybe that's true. Writing women could mean me (inexperienced writer) ending up writing myself. Also, I've never been a girly woman. My best connections are with men. So perhaps I find it more comfortable?  

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Oh, I have to totally agree. I have a daughter and a son, and it's definitely something I notice, especially when compared to how I was raised and view things compared to older generations in my family. My dad always talks about hunting as a kid, but it was something just the boys in his family did--not the girls, even though he had 4 older sisters. I was raised by my dad and uncle until I was 9, and that contributed to my jeans and T-shirt lifestyle, but my grandma insisted on us having Easter dresses, tights, shoes, and hats because 'that's what little girls should wear'. I hated it with a passion, so I never required my kids to dress any certain way once they were old enough to pick out their own clothes. My kids have been encouraged to do what they want, from my daughter deciding she hates the color pink and wearing my work boots and flannels in the fifth grade to my son having a baby doll that went everywhere with us when he was a toddler--and I do mean everywhere. Toys and public bathrooms... shudders.

 

I think we're a product of our upbringing and also influenced by our 'community', but I also think that we should examine the reasons why we view other people (including characters) as different or wrong in a bad way because of their mannerisms. That's why I think the question is really if women write men who act like women, or just that some men believe men should act certain ways and that colors their perceptions more strongly when they know the characters have been written by women?

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 13.4.2017 at 5:55 PM, clochette said:

I'm not a writer but if I were to write - and write about gay men - one of the reasons would be because it's sexy. I guess it's like straight men fantasizing about 2 women.

Plus as a straight women having discovered m/m stories I now find m/f stories more... how to say this... let's say boring. 

 

 

This would be my answer too. I'm bored with classical hetero romance, been there, done that, know what it's about, didn't like the shirt (or the featured ladies).

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I've always wondered the same thing. Why so many Straight Females wrote Gay Characters? The answers here are a sobering look at it. Though my only complaint as a Gay Male, with any Author writing Gay Characters, is sometimes depictions of sexual technique and outcomes are more Fanciful, and less how it really works. Such as feeling the heat coming off of seaman inside of a person. That just is not biologically possible, unless the partner is running a fever over 20 degrees higher than your body temperature. I'm not saying I read a lot of Smut, but some Authors need a biology and sex education refresher.

 

It's also worth noting that the largest Demographic of Consumers of Gay Romance Novels, is Straight Females. Which I was utterly shocked to learn.

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I agree bhopper2 with your comment on the fanciful sex. From both male and female writers. To be fair, even gay authors  have me wondering sometimes :)
 

On the other hand sometimes I am surprised by how accurate things are described. Even by writers without first hand experience like our straight and/or female writers. Which prompted my first post. My follow up question to them would be: how do you get your info on these kind of things?

 

Oh and (straight) females reading gay male fiction is also a big shock to me. The childish part in my brain is screaming: "No, no, you can't read that. That is not yours it is mine!". But also my rational, more mature mind has difficulty accepting it, because it is so not in tune with real world gay acceptance. Maybe after struggling/fighting for acceptance of your own sexuality it feels somehow strange that it is entertainment to others.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Freerider
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8 hours ago, Freerider said:

My follow up question to them would be: how do you get your info on these kind of things?

 

I read what others write, chosing bits and pieces here and there if they make sense to me. I try to draw from my own experience of the actual sensations you feel when having sex, even if equipmentwise I differ. I usually avoid getting into much physical detail and focus on what the persons are experiencing. I would imgaine good sex is good sex, regardless if you're male or female. Still, I don't know how many weird mistakes I've made. Anyone is free to give me pointers. ;) But my method seems to be working pretty well so far. 

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13 hours ago, Freerider said:

 

 The childish part in my brain is screaming: "No, no, you can't read that. That is not yours it is mine!". But also my rational, more mature mind has difficulty accepting it, because it is so not in tune with real world gay acceptance. Maybe after struggling/fighting for acceptance of your own sexuality it feels somehow strange that it is entertainment to others.

 

 

 

 

I think you have stated this very eloquently. So much of 'us' is appropriated anyway, and Pulse-deniers are everywhere sanitizing the past from any LGBT connection. All we as Gay men and woman can do is relay our truth and hope others connect with it on a deep and genuine level. Thanks 

 

 

 

Edited by AC Benus
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People have been reading about M/F sex for hundreds of years, so the gay romance stuff looks like "just catching up" to me. I didn't spare it a second thought until now to be honest. ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...

When I was younger reading gay stories written by straight men or women I often thought about this too. Some of those stories during my formative years were see detailed and accurate in what it feels like to be a young person growing up gay that it blew my mind how they could understand what we were going through without being in our shoes. A lot of what everyone has said he came across my mind too. I always felt it was weird for women to be reading more gay fiction than us, like @Freerider said the stories were for us not anyone else. Hopefully it's a sign of the world become a more accepting place of those who are different.

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