Bondwriter Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Jack, Jack, Jack... First you defy Leviticus, and now this... For shame! Ohhh Bondwriter: When you get him, you might need to cut out his tonge. I think Leviticus is fine with that... Why would I? Maybe "Allez chier les gars..." is profanity on the other side of the Atlantic, but in our fine Somme district it means "You're great guys, your insightful ideas and views on life overwhelm me with joy and glee." Plus I have other means to get potty-mouthed guys to remain quiet... And we're patiently waiting.
EMoe57 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 OK OK OK - I'll take the hint and stop trolling the forums. The problem, of course, is that I need 'quiet time' to go through the chapter and the weekend wasn't any where in the vacinity of the definition of quiet time...
EMoe57 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Look at that... an hour and a half and its headed for CJ's mailbox. Now if the rest of the day will be as quiet as this morning, I can turn BW's chapters and get started on the new FTL chapters CJ sent me.
Bondwriter Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 OK OK OK - I'll take the hint and stop trolling the forums. I was not ironical. I was patiently waiting. That's what happens when you kid around too much, people don't take you seriously anymore. I guess goats have their share of responsibility when it comes to having people kid around too much. But since it got you to edit one more chapter, it was worth being misunderstood.
EMoe57 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Thankfully, the day was a quiet one - the mail server was off-line all day (not my problem) but the phone worked... guess people are working on their taxes or something 'cause nobody bugged me at work and after I sent CJ his chapter, I got BW's chapters turned around too so its on to CJ's chapters next - unless DK wants to drop DOF my way Oh, and Bondwriter, I didn't take offense at your nudge. I was just being cantankerous this morning...
C James Posted February 19, 2007 Author Posted February 19, 2007 (edited) OK OK OK - I'll take the hint and stop trolling the forums. The problem, of course, is that I need 'quiet time' to go through the chapter and the weekend wasn't any where in the vacinity of the definition of quiet time... I've attempted to edit before, and trust me on this, you DO need to be in the right frame of mind. If Emoe rushes, we get a bad chapter, so it is FAR better that he takes his time. It's also well to bear in mind that the big delay here was in me sending it to him. The one thing I will fault Emoe on: He has an unwaivering policy of refusing to edit a chapter until he receives it. He's very unreasobale about this. I keep trying to explain to him that things would go much faster if he would send me the edited chapters before I write them, but he just won't listen. BTW, Emoe already has Ch 15 & 16, as I'm working hard to build up a "buffer" again, to avoid future delays. Emoe, I'm not surprised you were trolling the forums... We all know that you are a postaholic. I was not ironical. I was patiently waiting. That's what happens when you kid around too much, people don't take you seriously anymore. I guess goats have their share of responsibility when it comes to having people kid around too much. But since it got you to edit one more chapter, it was worth being misunderstood. Wait patiently no longer. Thanks to Emoe, CHAPTER 14, In Beer, Veritas, Is up. Oh, and it is the longest chapter so far, nearly 8k words. Edited February 19, 2007 by C James
Jack Frost Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 8k? Good...after all of the waiting you made us do. Plus I have other means to get potty-mouthed guys to remain quiet... Bring it on, ti-fifine.
EMoe57 Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Just a quick, informal poll... How many Saturdays in a weekend?
Camy Posted February 19, 2007 Posted February 19, 2007 Hey, CJ, Cracking good story! I'm so glad I finally got the space to read it, and in one sitting too. I had a little bit of difficulty believing Eric could possibly be so bad. Younger brothers are supposed to be cute, and faithfully worship their elders. My sister keeps telling me this; she says it's in the 'baby brother' manual. pshaw. I love the USB plotline, and can't wait to see Dex crack it. I'm gonna have to read the thread now, 'cause I've a lot of questions, and I'm hoping some will be answered. Now, I'm panting for chapter 15. Camy
C James Posted February 20, 2007 Author Posted February 20, 2007 8k? Good...after all of the waiting you made us do. Hmmmm, and where, oh where, is the even longer-awaited new chapter of "moving on"? hmmmm? Just a quick, informal poll... How many Saturdays in a weekend? ACK!!! Had it not been for Emoe's sharp eyes, the answer in Ch 15 would have been "two". Emoe, thank you for catching that! Hey, CJ, Cracking good story! I'm so glad I finally got the space to read it, and in one sitting too. I had a little bit of difficulty believing Eric could possibly be so bad. Younger brothers are supposed to be cute, and faithfully worship their elders. My sister keeps telling me this; she says it's in the 'baby brother' manual. pshaw. I love the USB plotline, and can't wait to see Dex crack it. I'm gonna have to read the thread now, 'cause I've a lot of questions, and I'm hoping some will be answered. Now, I'm panting for chapter 15. Camy Hi Camy!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eric? Well, Eric may be good, or he may be bad, or some mix of the two.
Jack Frost Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Hmmmm, and where, oh where, is the even longer-awaited new chapter of "moving on"? hmmmm? Le prochain chapitre sera rendu disponible au moins demain ou le jour apr
C James Posted February 20, 2007 Author Posted February 20, 2007 Le prochain chapitre sera rendu disponible au moins demain ou le jour apr
Jack Frost Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Don't be smart, CJ. By the way..."au naturale" is completely incorrect. "Au naturel" if you want to get all Frenchie in the story. It was HILARIOUS!!! I love it...that's all I can say. Was Chris having an issue with a lack of self-confidence noticeable? I've been dropping hints for a while, starting in the prologue. No, it wasn't, but I don't think it's much of an issue for me anyway.
Bondwriter Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 Cute chapter. Yes Chris did leave clues here and there that he was not completely comfortable with who he is. The whole afternoon flows nicely, with all the pool antics and jokes; like a peaceful episode before the storm. Any chapter finishing with two guys kissing under a myriad of stars in the summer sky can only have been written by a thoughtful, kind, talented person. Veronica seems to be affected by the tougher-than-guys epidemic that's going on in eFiction. Like Val in LiS, she threatens to castrate males. Can Steve's mom come up with an explanation for this? As for Chad being a dunce in French, it's kind of realistic. There are stores trying to make their names "sound" French and usually failing miserably. Jack, I love you too. And I'm waiting for your new chapter. Impatiently. No kidding.
C James Posted February 20, 2007 Author Posted February 20, 2007 Don't be smart, CJ. By the way..."au naturale" is completely incorrect. "Au naturel" if you want to get all Frenchie in the story. It was HILARIOUS!!! I love it...that's all I can say. No, it wasn't, but I don't think it's much of an issue for me anyway. Thanks!! (and I am looking forward to your next chapter in a day or so! Cool!) The "au naturale" was my attempt to portray an Arizona guy trying to pronounce it in French. IE: Badly. LoL! That's probably the limits of my attempts at French, though. ROFL! Cute chapter. Yes Chris did leave clues here and there that he was not completely comfortable with who he is. The whole afternoon flows nicely, with all the pool antics and jokes; like a peaceful episode before the storm. Any chapter finishing with two guys kissing under a myriad of stars in the summer sky can only have been written by a thoughtful, kind, talented person. Veronica seems to be affected by the tougher-than-guys epidemic that's going on in eFiction. Like Val in LiS, she threatens to castrate males. Can Steve's mom come up with an explanation for this? As for Chad being a dunce in French, it's kind of realistic. There are stores trying to make their names "sound" French and usually failing miserably. Jack, I love you too. And I'm waiting for your new chapter. Impatiently. No kidding. Awww, Veronica is a sweetheart; she wouldn't do any such thing... BTW, I know several women just kile that in real life, so it isn't just efiction. Or, I could just say that its all shdowgod's fault; he's a bad influence on me. That's for the compliment about the "myriad of stars" scene, though when i said they slipped into the dark waters and became one, I was implying a bit more than kissing. Of course, the next chapter may very well begin with "And the following morning, the two-headed creature with four arms and four legs slowly emerged from the pool, arguing with itself over who forgot to check the pool for radioactive waste..." Admittedly, not a lot happened in this chapter except for the data stick plan, but the backstory with Chad, Veronica, and Steve is important. Also, I wanted to have a fun interlude at this point in the story. BTW, The next chapter is entitled " Homecoming ".
Jack Frost Posted February 20, 2007 Posted February 20, 2007 BTW, The next chapter is entitled " Homecoming ". You already told us that. Jack, I love you too. And I'm waiting for your new chapter. Impatiently. No kidding. You better check your mailbox soon then. Isn't it sweet...you always get the first peek, and not a certain goat with sunglasses whose name will not be spoken, C James.
Bondwriter Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 BTW, I know several women just like that in real life, so it isn't just efiction. Well, we are lucky they exist. I hope you never antagonized one of them to the point they'd claim your genitalia as a trophy. That's for the compliment about the "myriad of stars" scene, Not really a compliment, more something along the lines of shameless self-promotion. Of course, the next chapter may very well begin with "And the following morning, the two-headed creature with four arms and four legs slowly emerged from the pool, arguing with itself over who forgot to check the pool for radioactive waste..." Admittedly, not a lot happened in this chapter except for the data stick plan, but the backstory with Chad, Veronica, and Steve is important. Also, I wanted to have a fun interlude at this point in the story. For The Love a script for the next Troma movie? The Piedmont sheriff would be a good character for Mr Kaufman's crew. And the interlude allows to build up the tension and reinforces the characters' personality. And uninterrupted sex.
EMoe57 Posted February 21, 2007 Posted February 21, 2007 Uninterrupted sex - what's that?!? No such thing in the story it seems... I'm surprised you didn't comment on the lack of Eric in this chapter, Bondwriter. You'd forecast his reappearance.
Site Administrator Graeme Posted February 21, 2007 Site Administrator Posted February 21, 2007 I've finally found some time to read this chapter -- nice one, CJ! Was Chris having an issue with a lack of self-confidence noticeable? I've been dropping hints for a while, starting in the prologue. I've never been that observant. In hindsight there were definitely hints, but if his self-esteem was that bad I would have expected a few more blatant hints -- like getting more upset than he was when Steve originally tricked him into wearing speedoes at a party. Some of it could be argued that as a swimmer he was used to it, but there's a big difference between a sporting event and a social event. Having said that, everyone is an individual so there is nothing wrong with an atypical reaction to selected situations. One thing I'm expecting is that Chris will still have times when he's self-conscious. If the lack of self-esteem was that ingrained, I would expect that it would take some time for him to get over it. He's made some progress and taken probably the biggest step, but a complete change without some backsliding is probably too much to expect. Admittedly, not a lot happened in this chapter except for the data stick plan, but the backstory with Chad, Veronica, and Steve is important. Also, I wanted to have a fun interlude at this point in the story. Even though I have a previous chapter didn't have a lot happening, I have to disagree with you on this one. There was little in terms of the overall story plot (just the data stick plan), but there was a lot of character development and that's just as important to a story. A slight pause before things pick up again (eg. when Eric gets home) is good for the readers.
C James Posted February 22, 2007 Author Posted February 22, 2007 You already told us that. You better check your mailbox soon then. Isn't it sweet...you always get the first peek, and not a certain goat with sunglasses whose name will not be spoken, C James. It's up now, though, and I can read it tonight. Well, we are lucky they exist. I hope you never antagonized one of them to the point they'd claim your genitalia as a trophy.Not really a compliment, more something along the lines of shameless self-promotion. For The Love a script for the next Troma movie? The Piedmont sheriff would be a good character for Mr Kaufman's crew. And the interlude allows to build up the tension and reinforces the characters' personality. And uninterrupted sex. I'm very careful not to antagonize my genitalia-collecting female friends. Troma movie? ROFL!!!!!!!! Well, yes, that would fit, if there really is radioactive waste in the pool. Redneck Zombies, anyone? Sex? Hmmm, I don't have a dictionary handy.. what does that mean? Uninterrupted sex - what's that?!? No such thing in the story it seems... Check your inbox in a few days. I've finally found some time to read this chapter -- nice one, CJ! I've never been that observant. In hindsight there were definitely hints, but if his self-esteem was that bad I would have expected a few more blatant hints -- like getting more upset than he was when Steve originally tricked him into wearing speedoes at a party. Some of it could be argued that as a swimmer he was used to it, but there's a big difference between a sporting event and a social event. Yep, it wasn't/isn't a big problem, and the body modesty is just one reflection of it. I'll be able to say more about this issue in a few chapters. (Your spines worry me, after all). One thing I'm expecting is that Chris will still have times when he's self-conscious. If the lack of self-esteem was that ingrained, I would expect that it would take some time for him to get over it. He's made some progress and taken probably the biggest step, but a complete change without some backsliding is probably too much to expect. Very true! There is no such thing (in the real world) as an instant fix for a psychological issue. Even though I have a previous chapter didn't have a lot happening, I have to disagree with you on this one. There was little in terms of the overall story plot (just the data stick plan), but there was a lot of character development and that's just as important to a story. A slight pause before things pick up again (eg. when Eric gets home) is good for the readers. I can't say too much <the goat eyes the spines nervously> but yes, things basically start moving from here on out, so I used this chapter to do some stage setting, much of which won't be noticeable until a couple of chapters down the road. Been as I had to put quite a bit in, I set it against the fun and games of a pool party, basically because I liked the humor involved, and talking about the pool brought back fond memories of leaping off roofs into backyard pools. Thanks Graeme!!
Max03 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Okay, first post on this forum. Great story CJ, you really are a talented writer, I love your story. It isn't just another lame porn story like million others on the internet. It really has a storyline and that's great. The latest chapter was very well written and has lot of emotions in it, but I like to know what happens to Eric ... I'm eager to see the next chapter, keep up the good work. Max
EMoe57 Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 The latest chapter was very well written and has lot of emotions in it, but I like to know what happens to Eric ... No enough in my opinion *opens the dungeon door* Hey Eric! Come stay at my house.
Jack Scribe Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 I've finally found some time to read this chapter -- nice one, CJ! There was little in terms of the overall story plot (just the data stick plan), but there was a lot of character development and that's just as important to a story. A slight pause before things pick up again (eg. when Eric gets home) is good for the readers. Completely agree. I call this a transitional chapter before the rubber hits the road in the next one. Would it be correct to assume that we'll find out soon exactly with whom the turd of a little brother is working as a currier? BTW, on your sig, CJ...do you really mean "Fairy Tail" as in you-know-what or tale? Must be a goat thing? Jack
Conner Posted February 22, 2007 Posted February 22, 2007 Super, Super, Super Chapter, CJ!!! It was just so much fun reading it! It was even better that my favourite chapter so far. Playtime is very erotic. I hereby bestow the Goat Good Seal of Approval on you and "For the Love". Congratulations! You earned it! I held off on this award because my Goat Meritorious Awards Committee (GMAC) hold goats to a higher standard than non-goat authors. Though, I should mention, we have a soft spot for porcupines. BTW, everyone, I'm still a goat, so there! You figure it out! Conner
Site Administrator Graeme Posted February 22, 2007 Site Administrator Posted February 22, 2007 Though, I should mention, we have a soft spot for porcupines. Most people have soft spots for porcupines Rhino's tend to be the exception to that rule.
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