C James Posted December 29, 2006 Author Posted December 29, 2006 Great chapter! I can sense some exhibitionism from Steve, and I like it. Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!! Steve does have a little bit of an exhibitionist streak. All I'll say about the data on the drive is that it's... Data. With so many more chapters to go, I'd say there are some even darker secrets beyond money. Getting money is a perk to greedy Eric. His motive as an evil person is to ruin people's lives. So he must be in some conspiracy hatched with the Piedmont cops ( the name of the city itself, with its unsavoury French sound is suspicious ). I think we'll have to wait until chapter 25 to find out what's really happening behind the scenes. Maybe we should start making bets on the story, hidden from C James so he has to follow his outline and doesn't favor anybody. The winner would get his autographed picture (without the glasses, please!) I can't discuss much without giving spilers, but I can talk about Piedmont. I needed some fictional names. Both Lonesome Valley (where the William's house is) and Piedmont are based on small Arizona towns, but they are composites of several. For the names, I chose a former name of a real town that changed it's name back in the 70's (it's name before Lonesome Valley was Jackass flats. Serioulsy) and Piedmont, well, it reminded me of the Piedmont, Arizona in the movie "The Andromida Strain", so the name stuck. As for my picture without sunglasses, The second statement confused me. It sounds like there has been an attempt to wipe the data, and that Dex is going to try to retrieve it. Now, if Eric believes the data has been wiped, why did he go to the effort of trying to hide the data stick, since it is highly unlikely he'll have the technology to retrieve the data afterwards? It could be there was a block of encrypted data AND some 'deleted' data as well, but why would Dex be looking for deleted data if there was something on the data stick already? I wasn't clear there, sorry. What Dex spotted was data remaining in the unused clusters of the drive (clusters not occupied by the current data file). Much like deleting a file in windows; all windows does is blank out the first letter of the filename, thus rendering the clusters "available", but the data is still there, unless over-written. When faced with a mystery such as what is on a flash drive, it makes sense to look at every bit of data, including whatever can be recovered. Now, if the data that's important is encrypted, then the chances of decrypting it are pretty low without someone who understand cryptography. Public domain encryption algorithms are solid enough that you can't crack them. Since I've just had to learn a bit of cryptography for my job, I see the following options: 1. It's encrypted using a digital certificate, and that certificate is on Eric's computer (now Steve's, since it was Steve's originally, and he took it back in an earlier chapter). So, if they put it in THAT computer, and are logged in as Eric, it should decrypt automatically. Eric had Steve's PlayStation (video game console) and a lot of other things, but Eric has his own computer, as does Steve. I can't comment too much on the encryption stuff, for fear of spoilers (and thus, your spines). However, their are many methods other than password encryption, such as public and private keys, one-time-pads, logarithmic cyphers, stream cyphers, etc, etc, etc. Basically, you have two main types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symetric is using the same password, phrase, or key to both encrypt and decrypt. Asymmetric uses multiple cryptovariables, and the program PGP, with its public/private key system, is a good example (though there are many more). It's almost a MLK moment: "Love at last! Love at last! Thank God Almighty, it's love at last!" Good job. Jack ROFL!! Thanks Jack!!!! A simple plan:1. Bribe some cop to get their way into jail 2. Torture Eric until he gives the password away 3. See what's on the data stick Obviously neither very legal nor righteous, but this could work (and Mel Gibson will be happy to play Eric in the movie version). Good luck for writing your characters' way out of such a scenario and having them look good. That Mel Gibson line just cracked me up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just putting this out for others (apart from CJ) to comment on. Feel free to tell me a a raving lunatic C James -- don't you DARE respond to this post... Awwww! Can't I comment, please? And since when do i ever respond to posts?
Bondwriter Posted December 29, 2006 Posted December 29, 2006 I'm just putting this out for others (apart from CJ) to comment on. Feel free to tell me a a raving lunatic C James -- don't you DARE respond to this post... I think you set a trap to the author here. This comment was akin to line up open bottles of booze outside the door of an AA meeting with neon signs above saying: "Just once, it won't hurt!" :nuke: But beside this, you have a point in imagining what kind of conspiracy Eric could be involved in. The organization that recruited him certainly has an interest in him being a cop's child. Then they had him show his creds with the blackmail stuff. The thing is: what is this organization ultimate target? Do they need uniforms and badges to enter Fort Huachuca? Wouldn't they be better off getting a kid whose father is in the military? Is it a corrupt organization only interested in profitable crime like smuggling drugs or selling industry secrets? We'll have to wait to find out unless relentless posting causes replies that end up being spoilers. Have a go at it Graeme, it seems to work pretty well!
Jack Frost Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 I finally got off my lazy ass and hold onto the promise I made for you C James. I read the prologue and the first two chapters. I only can say... WELL DONE!!! And no, I'm not being all nicey wicey here...just pure honestly. I like it and I cannot see any flaws. Prologue is a good start because it makes me become addicted, especially at the last sentence. I'm not done yet but I have to go to bed...it's so late and I'm so tired. :wacko: I'll read the rest when I wake up... Go C James...I'll keep my gun away from you for now.
C James Posted December 30, 2006 Author Posted December 30, 2006 I think you set a trap to the author here. This comment was akin to line up open bottles of booze outside the door of an AA meeting with neon signs above saying: "Just once, it won't hurt!" :nuke: What? For me, a dedicated lurker who almost never posts? But beside this, you have a point in imagining what kind of conspiracy Eric could be involved in. The organization that recruited him certainly has an interest in him being a cop's child. Then they had him show his creds with the blackmail stuff. The thing is: what is this organization ultimate target? Do they need uniforms and badges to enter Fort Huachuca? Wouldn't they be better off getting a kid whose father is in the military? Is it a corrupt organization only interested in profitable crime like smuggling drugs or selling industry secrets? We'll have to wait to find out unless relentless posting causes replies that end up being spoilers. Have a go at it Graeme, it seems to work pretty well! But I almost never reply!! Really!! BTW, I'm astounded that you know of Fort Huachuca! It's not well known even here in Arizona. I finally got off my lazy ass and hold onto the promise I made for you C James. I read the prologue and the first two chapters. I only can say... WELL DONE!!! And no, I'm not being all nicey wicey here...just pure honestly. I like it and I cannot see any flaws. Prologue is a good start because it makes me become addicted, especially at the last sentence. I'm not done yet but I have to go to bed...it's so late and I'm so tired. :wacko: I'll read the rest when I wake up... Go C James...I'll keep my gun away from you for now. Thank you Jack!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you enjoy the remainder. I'm also delighted to no longer have to dodge bullets from you!
EMoe57 Posted December 30, 2006 Posted December 30, 2006 What? For me, a dedicated lurker who almost never posts? But I almost never reply!! Really!! I've discovered the secret to the super-high post count for CJ, the dedicated lurker: He's CLONED! (see post here: CJ admits he is cloned!) so there is a dedicated lurker AND a dedicated poster! ...and now he's even advertising his own BLOG! Lurker, my A**!
C James Posted January 1, 2007 Author Posted January 1, 2007 I've discovered the secret to the super-high post count for CJ, the dedicated lurker: He's CLONED! (see post here: CJ admits he is cloned!) so there is a dedicated lurker AND a dedicated poster! ...and now he's even advertising his own BLOG! Lurker, my A**! EMOE!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shame on you for saying that we are cloned! We are lurker Goats, I tell ya! I'm just a quiet and shy forum lurker. It even says so in my profile. Hmmm, as for my blog, perhaps I should blog about lurking?
Jack Frost Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 With so many more chapters to go, I'd say there are some even darker secrets beyond money. Getting money is a perk to greedy Eric. His motive as an evil person is to ruin people's lives. So he must be in some conspiracy hatched with the Piedmont cops ( the name of the city itself, with its unsavoury French sound is suspicious ). I think we'll have to wait until chapter 25 to find out what's really happening behind the scenes. Maybe we should start making bets on the story, hidden from C James so he has to follow his outline and doesn't favor anybody. The winner would get his autographed picture (without the glasses, please!) I would be more worried if that town name is of Russian or Italian origins. The Frenchies are known to surrender on the spot. I read it all C James...every one! I love it so much...it's such a wonderful mystery and it was so funny how they kept on getting interrupted getting sexual reliefs. Oh yea, I added your story to my special list...which only has a dozen story I read so far. I'm picky you know.
Jack Frost Posted January 3, 2007 Posted January 3, 2007 Shame on you for saying that we are cloned! We are lurker Goats, I tell ya! I'm just a quiet and shy forum lurker. It even says so in my profile. Sure, you're a quiet lurker in name, but not in practice.
EMoe57 Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Sure, you're a quiet lurker in name, but not in practice. Yet another good community member who clearly sees the handwriting on the wall or more precisely, goatwriting on the forum! In those immortal words: Me thinks thou doth protest too much!
Jack Frost Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 Yet another good community member who clearly sees the handwriting on the wall or more precisely, goatwriting on the forum!In those immortal words: Me thinks thou doth protest too much! Thou dost, not thou doth.
C James Posted January 4, 2007 Author Posted January 4, 2007 I read it all C James...every one! I love it so much...it's such a wonderful mystery and it was so funny how they kept on getting interrupted getting sexual reliefs. Oh yea, I added your story to my special list...which only has a dozen story I read so far. I'm picky you know. Thank you Jack! I've been having a blast with this story. I'm hooked on writing! What a strange thing to have happen to a lurker like me.. I'd like to remind everyone, though, that what you see posted in the story is the result of a team effort. EMoe, my Editor, and Shdowgod, my beta reader, both contribute greatly (thanks Guys!!!). Yet another good community member who clearly sees the handwriting on the wall or more precisely, goatwriting on the forum!In those immortal words: Me thinks thou doth protest too much! Awww, E Tu, EMoe? Why won't anyone believe me. Thou dost, not thou doth. You just Edited my Editor! Let the Editor-teasing commence!
Jack Frost Posted January 4, 2007 Posted January 4, 2007 I didn't even notice he's an editor. Wow, I just corrected an editor.
C James Posted January 6, 2007 Author Posted January 6, 2007 Yep, I'm late again, sorry. Chapter 9 is in editing, and will be posted within hours of it's arrival here. I do not know when this will be. In the meantime, I thoguht I'd give those of you who are unfamiliar with it a peek inside the writing process; There is far more involved here than just me pounding away on a keyboard. It is basically a chain of events, each dependant upon the other. First, I write a draft of a chapter. Sometimes this is easy, and sometimes it is not, it depends on the chapter. Once I've finished typing, I go back and tweak lines here and there, and correct my more glaring typos (basically, anything that I can see. I then read through it a third time, again making little changes. Then, I run the chapter through Word's spelling and grammar checker. Never rely on Word, but it is helpful, and cleans things up a bit more. Then, I send the chapter to my anonymous Beta Reader, Shdowgod. He reads it, and makes comments and suggestions using Word's edit mode. Then, he sends it back to me and I review it. I usually incorporate his suggestions, and more often than not his suggestions trigger other ideas, and I re-work the chapter. Then, I run through it with Word's grammar and spelling checker again, then give it a final visual read searching for errors, and send it to Emoe for editing. Emoe not only seeks out typos, grammar errors, etc, but he also makes suggestions on the wording, plot, and presentation, also in Word's edit mode. Emoe then sends it back to me, and I go through each and ever suggestion and edit (just like I do after getting it back from my beta reader) and sometimes expand a bit on what they have done. Then, if I haven't already, I add the disclaimer, and credits, and I'm ready to put it online. That's an interesting process in itself. The method I use for GA's eFiction is to copy and paste from Word. There is a "paste from word" button there, and it usually works fine, with just one error: it doubles my paragraph spacing. So, after pasting, I manually remove a space from between each paragraph, and add the chapter. The chapter is now online. However, I'm not done yet. I still need to copy the URL of the chapter so I can create the announcement, plus alter my .sig, and probably list it here in this thread, too. OK, so that's how the process works, for me anyway. Other writers may do it differently. However, now I think you can see why I say this is a team effort. CJ
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 7, 2007 Site Administrator Posted January 7, 2007 Sounds very familiar In my case, I have a couple of primary beta-readers who provide a first round of comments. Then it goes to my editor and he and his friends beta-read it. Only after that second round of beta-reading does it actually get edited. As a suggestion on the double paragraph spacing, I'm guessing that you use the default paragraph spacing and therefore have a blank paragraph between each written one. What I do is to alter the default style so that there is a one line spacing before each paragraph. This eliminates the 'blank' paragraph marker, and will probably allow it to post to eFiction without that issue. I don't know, since I've never tried to post to eFiction, but I've had similar issues with other forums so I suspect it'll work. Graeme
shadowgod Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Then, I run the chapter through Word's spelling and grammar checker. Never rely on Word, but it is helpful, and cleans things up a bit more. Then, I send the chapter to my anonymous Beta Reader, Shdowgod. He reads it, and makes comments and suggestions using Word's edit mode. Then, he sends it back to me and I review it. I usually incorporate his suggestions, and more often than not his suggestions trigger other ideas, and I re-work the chapter. Then, I run through it with Word's grammar and spelling checker again, then give it a final visual read searching for errors, and send it to Emoe for editing. CJ I've been outed!!!! So does this mean I can spill the beans? Steve
Bondwriter Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 I thought magicians did not give away their tricks? I only start having people proof-reading and editing my stories, but it's really good to get someone to have a fresh look at what you write. I'm currently writing a serial taking place during the Prohibition era, and I couldn't do without a more expert opinion on slang and idioms of this period, so I'm glad to have someone give me some input and reviewing the dialogues so they sound more genuine. Not speaking of Sterling's great work on the story I posted. I think it also helps you to improve your writing to have flaws pointed out. And yes, it makes it a bit of a team work also. Good thing, very good thing!
C James Posted January 7, 2007 Author Posted January 7, 2007 Sounds very familiar In my case, I have a couple of primary beta-readers who provide a first round of comments. Then it goes to my editor and he and his friends beta-read it. Only after that second round of beta-reading does it actually get edited. As a suggestion on the double paragraph spacing, I'm guessing that you use the default paragraph spacing and therefore have a blank paragraph between each written one. What I do is to alter the default style so that there is a one line spacing before each paragraph. This eliminates the 'blank' paragraph marker, and will probably allow it to post to eFiction without that issue. I don't know, since I've never tried to post to eFiction, but I've had similar issues with other forums so I suspect it'll work. Graeme Wow, it sounds like you have a lot of extra eyes. That's great! I can't even imagine writing without either a Beta reader or an Editor. I've been outed!!!! So does this mean I can spill the beans? Shhhhh, you are supposed to be anonymous. As for spilling the beans, I'll remind you that a certain spiny Echidna inhabits these parts, and he doesn't like spoilers. Beware I thought magicians did not give away their tricks? I only start having people proof-reading and editing my stories, but it's really good to get someone to have a fresh look at what you write. I'm currently writing a serial taking place during the Prohibition era, and I couldn't do without a more expert opinion on slang and idioms of this period, so I'm glad to have someone give me some input and reviewing the dialogues so they sound more genuine. Not speaking of Sterling's great work on the story I posted. I think it also helps you to improve your writing to have flaws pointed out. And yes, it makes it a bit of a team work also. Good thing, very good thing! I've found that having flaws pointed out has been the single biggest help to me, and both Emoe and Shdowgod have done so, as have many other people. I thank them all, and try very hard not to repeat my errors. I do repeat them though, just hopefully less frequently. I save every beta and every edit in their original form and often review them, and I think it is helping me tremendously. I like the way you are paying attention to detail (such as slang and idioms). That gives a story a very good "feel" in my opinion.
Jack Frost Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 As for spilling the beans, I'll remind you that a certain spiny Echidna inhabits these parts, and he doesn't like spoilers. Beware That would be our dear Graeme, people.
Bondwriter Posted January 7, 2007 Posted January 7, 2007 Oh boy! It's getting better! Now the crazy fundamentalists, and some mysterious organization pulling the strings from behind, the nice small town atmosphere where everybody knows what others do... You're making it more and more difficult to bet on an outcome. Plus the cliff-hanger with the threat to such a great relationship... You know how to keep us salivating and willing to be next week already. Reminds me of the comic books magazine I got when I was 12, that had always these great cliff-hangers at the end. The fundamentalist thing is weird for us Europeans. There are homophobes, but it never takes such extreme organized forms. But as I visited relatives in the US over the holidays, I got to see 2 minutes of Jerry Falwell on TV, and it was enough to remind me that these people do exist, sadly enough. My only comfort is to imagine that if indeed there is an afterlife, St Peter will show Reverend Falwell his way straight to hell, for all the evil he'll have brought upon this earth.
C James Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 Oh boy! It's getting better! Now the crazy fundamentalists, and some mysterious organization pulling the strings from behind, the nice small town atmosphere where everybody knows what others do... You're making it more and more difficult to bet on an outcome. Plus the cliff-hanger with the threat to such a great relationship... You know how to keep us salivating and willing to be next week already. Reminds me of the comic books magazine I got when I was 12, that had always these great cliff-hangers at the end. The fundamentalist thing is weird for us Europeans. There are homophobes, but it never takes such extreme organized forms. But as I visited relatives in the US over the holidays, I got to see 2 minutes of Jerry Falwell on TV, and it was enough to remind me that these people do exist, sadly enough. My only comfort is to imagine that if indeed there is an afterlife, St Peter will show Reverend Falwell his way straight to hell, for all the evil he'll have brought upon this earth. Thank you!! Jerry Falwell is actually quite mild compared to the hardcore Fundies. I live in an area where there are a lot of them, so I see things that make my skin crawl. For example, they scare the children. Literally. A small town nearby has a 4th of July (Independence day) parade. A few school bands, a few trucks towing trailers decked out as floats, the prizewinning cattle, guys on horseback, just typical small town stuff. However, a couple of years ago one of the Fundi churches in the area decided to enter a float. Nobody thought to ask what. Big mistake. I was there, curbside, to see the parade. Much of the crowd consisted of small children, as it is a big family day. Everyone was happy,l until I heard gasps and cries (the latter from the children) coming from up the street. I turned to see the Fundi float. It was a flatbed trailer towed by a pickup truck (like the rest of the floats) but on it they had a flogging and crucifixion scene. Yes, TWO Jesuses, one being flogged to a bloody pulp (really gory, they had glued raw meat to his back, some of it hanging off in strands) and a guy on a cross that made Mel Gibson's big screen version look nice by comparison. The actors were covered with fake blood and gore that looked quite real. Real enough to terrify the kiddies, that's for sure (their shrieks left little doubt of that). The adults were disgusted, and the children terrified. Ahhh, family values at its finest. They toned it down a little the following year, and limited themselves to one Jesus, but they still participate. Also, bear in mind that my area, until very recently, was represented in the Legislature by a woman famous for running off her mouth. One of her (many) prize-winning quotes: "Homosexuality leads to bestiality and cannibalism." BTW, I hope to resume a weekly posting schedule. Ch 10 is with Emoe now, and Ch 11 is in Beta, and I'm half done with 12. I'm trying desperately to catch up and build up a buffer again. Thanks! CJ
Bondwriter Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 I know it's not funny, but this story about the parade got me laughing out loud a lot. It's just a great comedy scene! Scary it is, but less than (young) people rallying to say Matthew Sheppard had it coming, the sick f...s Among the most traumatic experiences in my life were religious services in various born-again/ fundamentalist churches and being harassed by people who wanted to save me with vivid description of fire and brimstone. And at the time I was a church-going Catholic...
Site Administrator Graeme Posted January 8, 2007 Site Administrator Posted January 8, 2007 I had to read the chapter quickly, so I probably didn't appreciate it to the fullest. I'm not concerned about the ending -- Veronica's comment and the note makes it pretty obvious that Steve has an ex- and it was a old note that Chris found. I expect that after a bit of angst, it'll all be sorted out. Fundamentalists with fire-and-brimestone preaching are a cliche in gay stories, and, like Bondwriter, it's something I have trouble relating to. I accept it's something that happens, but I've never been able to properly appreciate it. On a technical note, the jumping ahead in the timeframe seemed clumsy to me. It could be because I read it quickly, but it was neither a clean jump, nor a reasonable condensed summary of what was going on. Steve is having problems at school, and Chris, while concerned, seems to skip over it quickly. I would've expected at least one scene where he tried to talk to Steve about it OR narration about his attempt to talk to Steve. There also wasn't enough of how Chris felt about it, and as someone with a new boyfriend I would've expected him to be VERY concerned -- even if he didn't know how to talk to Steve about it. Remember, this is a first person narration, so I would've expected more of the emotions and thoughts that went with the situation. I can see why the story jumped ahead, but I think a break, and then a quick retrospective would've worked better.
C James Posted January 8, 2007 Author Posted January 8, 2007 (edited) I know it's not funny, but this story about the parade got me laughing out loud a lot. It's just a great comedy scene! Scary it is, but less than (young) people rallying to say Matthew Sheppard had it coming, the sick f...s Among the most traumatic experiences in my life were religious services in various born-again/ fundamentalist churches and being harassed by people who wanted to save me with vivid description of fire and brimstone. And at the time I was a church-going Catholic... I will never understand them. Each are convinced that everyone who doesn't practice their specific creed (In some cases apply this damnation even to other fundi churches) is heading for hell. Fundamentalists with fire-and-brimestone preaching are a cliche in gay stories, and, like Bondwriter, it's something I have trouble relating to. I accept it's something that happens, but I've never been able to properly appreciate it. I have to deal with them on a daily basis (they are more prevalent and powerfull in my area than just about anywhere else in America), so I guess for me, it's more realistic. I envy those who find it hard to relate to this. However, I can't say much, for fear of your spines, but all may not be as it seems. On a technical note, the jumping ahead in the timeframe seemed clumsy to me. It could be because I read it quickly, but it was neither a clean jump, nor a reasonable condensed summary of what was going on. Steve is having problems at school, and Chris, while concerned, seems to skip over it quickly. I would've expected at least one scene where he tried to talk to Steve about it OR narration about his attempt to talk to Steve. There also wasn't enough of how Chris felt about it, and as someone with a new boyfriend I would've expected him to be VERY concerned -- even if he didn't know how to talk to Steve about it. Remember, this is a first person narration, so I would've expected more of the emotions and thoughts that went with the situation. I can see why the story jumped ahead, but I think a break, and then a quick retrospective would've worked better. These are very good points. Thanks, Graeme, I'll keep that in mind, and I agree. Edited January 8, 2007 by C James
captainrick Posted January 8, 2007 Posted January 8, 2007 WOW! What a damn whirlwind that was! Umm, honestly Dex lost me too on the computer gibberish, but I'm Techi-no-logically challenged Lets see, The boys wake up from their first night of hot sex to Mr. Williams once again barging in to tell them they are targets of a fundie minister and his brother-in-law, the sheriff. The fundie minister outs them to the entire community with lots of potential problems at school for both boys. Then we find out that the mysterious data stick has some very sophisticated info on it. AND NOW we find the love letter to someone else? MAN! WHEW! AWESOME JOB! Rick
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