LJH

Thanks Cia. I found another Microsoft editing tool, it's called SmartEdit Lite and it is downloaded free of charge. Of course there is a comprehensive version that costs 59 dollars. But the Lite version works and I'm loving it.

As an editor of fiction, (in South Africa there aren’t many), I have come across manuscripts that belong at the bottom of the slush pile, manuscripts with a literal value, manuscripts that are mediocre, entertaining, and some downright sloppy. At times I value the plot, other times the characters, but, in the end, it doesn’t matter what I value, essentially the publisher has the last say. All I do is make sure that the manuscript is as perfect as it can be the moment it lands on the publisher’s desk. My view of perfection must always be linear to the writer’s view of perfection. You might argue and say, Well, I’m writing for myself. By all means do so, and make sure that you stash it in a drawer, with all the other manuscripts you have written that will never see the light of day. If you are writing for yourself, please, please do keep it to yourself. However, if you wish to share your writing with a workshop group, or editor, and you wish to grow through the process of learning the craft, by all means I will do my best to make sure your writing is handsome to the eye. With this in mind, there are words that I never want to see in a novel. I make a list of the author’s favourite words, these are words that the author uses repeatedly. In many manuscripts I mark the margin with something like: Be careful of this word, it is used repeatedly throughout the chapter. A word like JUST. It is used in dialogue so often that the author is not aware that he has repeated it 45 times in a chapter. The warning will be something like this: JUST – try to stay away from using this word, it tends to be repetitive. I am reducing all JUST’s. Other repetitive words include: SO, WELL (especially at the beginning of sentences, and often used in dialogue), SMIRK, THE FACT THAT. The following qualifiers and verbs: A BIT, A LITTLE, FAIRLY, HIGHLY, BACK, LOOK, KIND OF, MOSTLY, PRETTY, QUITE, RATHER, ACTUALLY, REALLY, SLIGHTLY, SOMEWHAT, SOMETHING, SORT OF, THAT WHICH, AS WELL,THOUGH, LOVERLY, WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, ADORABLE, HORRIBLE, NASTY, TERRIBLE, SILLY, COMELY. THE REASON WHY. THEN (too many). THAT (too many). The list goes on and on. These words do not convey what the writer is seeing. He sees something terrible but doesn’t allow the reader to see it. He sees a beautiful man or woman, but fails to convey the beauty. If the writer uses any of the 5 senses to convey the last nine words in the list, then he will have succeeded in showing the reader, instead of telling the reader what he/she is seeing. Another pet peeve of mine is WOULD OF, instead of would have, COULD OF, instead of could have. Body parts that act on their own: HER HAND WAVED, instead of He/she waved. LOOK and GAZE. These two verbs are so overused in all writing, including mainstream. There are better words to use, that is why there is such a thing called a thesaurus. The words BEGAN TO and STARTED TO. In good writing, there is no beginning. The characters just DO IT. Which is better? He began to scream or He screamed? The horse started to gallop up the hill or The horse galloped up the hill? Leave out the word THEN as much as possible. Why? Most things happen sequentially anyway. He THOUGH TO HIMSELF. Well, who would he think to other than himself? TO HIMSELF is redundant. Delete it. There are so many words that I scream at. Unnecessary articles, a/an/the. Whole cliché’s. Unnecessary words. Roundabout and indirect words. Redundant words and phrases like THE SKY ABOVE. The sky is above. Everyone knows that. (I should hope so). Unnecessary possessives like: She held up the diamonds, (her) eyes gleaming. Other words I dislike are: SO AS. UH OH. VERY. SUDDENLY. I AM SAT HERE. (It’s true that someone may have sat you there) but it should be I am sitting here. Why do I dislike all of the above? They call attention to themselves. The moment a reader starts noticing repetition, he/she is no longer lost in your story. When the reader begins to play with his commitment ring after the tenth THE FACT THAT, you’ve lost a reader. I am not against using any of the above in dialogue. Dialogue exists to show character and to move the story forward, it exists to create conflict. But if I find these words used repeatedly in the narrative, most of them will be deleted. Churchill once said: This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put. I second this. If your manuscript is riddled with all of the above, then it’s not ready for an editor. Your work is not finished until you have these all ironed out. When I say ironed out, I mean that you should play with the sentences. Never rush. Especially if you are writing for an audience. I dislike rushed work. I can see it immediately from reading the first paragraph. Make your sentences crisp, clear and precise. Clarity and precision are paramount. Rewrite that troublesome sentence 100 times if you must, but please get it right. Not for the editor, not for the publisher, do it for yourself. Have a juggernaut weak, and should I not great, my hand will wave from where I am sat. Hugs

Well Yes, I would have done the same thing. brings back some memories. Chapter is tense. Characters are believable. I certainly identify with Seth. The motive for Seth moving out is believable. Thank goodness for Seth's dad, he seems like a man who thinks logically and knows what he is doing. Technically, there are typos and some tenses are not gelling especially in the first paragraph, otherwise there is continuity and flow and a sense of angst the way it is written.

Writer's block is a real problem and all writers will feel it. I find that if i do something else in that moment, and return to writing say a few hours later, then I am fine and continue writing. Its my brain saying hang on, you need to rest from all these words, otherwise you going to write without passion. Another way i defeat writers block is to free write without punctuation or grammar which i call streaming.

A tender, human, uplifting story. I will def discuss on the 26th August.

Hell is not knowing lol. You guys are cruel LOL. Where are the easy ones so i can have a go?

I am passionate about anything Book. Writing. Editing. Collecting. Selling. Being the owner of a mobile book store, I travel a lot over weekends and meet many bookworms. This last weekend, after setting up our store, I did something to measure people's reactions; I placed the Gay section right next to the Children's section. I knew there would be reaction, and let me tell you, some were funny, others mumbled and grumbled. Two customers looked shocked. One customer mumbled "disgusting" and walked out, and another customer approached me with, "you should move that gay section away from where it is". Two customers, one pushing a pram, laughed about it. One customer shut his son's eyes with the palm of his hand. One child asked mommy, "What is gay, mom?" to which she answered; "Gay people come home from a party at five o clock in the morning..." What?!!!! It sounded hysterical. The covers were not explicit with nude males, maybe just one. But it's not a full frontal. Just his torso. On the whole, I sold a lot more gay books than ever before, so guess where I will place them next weekend. Right. On to last week's editing requests. JL Alberto, Scotty94 and Cole Matthews are looking for help with their stories. Scotty stepped up and volunteered to beta for Cole Matthews, so a great big hug and shout out to Scotty. Thank you. I posted a paragraph in the Editor's Corner on Saturday about Ghost Editors, and I want to repeat it here: Once you have purchased the editor title from the store (free), please step up to help our writers. This doesn't just apply to editors and betas, it applies to authors who are able to edit. Don't be shy. Just step up. We need you. Here is a tip for writers: there are a lot of articles on grammar, punctuation and the rules they follow in the Editor's Corner, why not take a look at these fine articles by fine writers and editors like Libby Drew and Cia? You might find an article on comma usage, or how not to end your sentence with prepositions. Maybe you struggle with the words Get and Let. Too many Thats and Thens in your story? These articles are valuable and really help the writer out of a jam. So, until next week, on behalf of Joann414 and the editorial team, have a great week and remember, please step up to help us.

Look carefully at the double space. It is really quite handsome. Publishers will not reject a good MS because if a double spacing after a fullstop. However, make sure you follow the publisher's guidelines when submitting.

Oh yes. That's profound - about the straight sex. However, i have another thought, and it is just a thought mind you. Humans have sex. It is deep set in our human condition. We have sex for love, lust and to procreate. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful thing. Okay, protect our children until they are of an age when sex is understood, but why oh why do so many institutions, individuals, groups, churches, and organisations trash it with so many outrageous laws that govern it. Take out the paedophile and rapist equation for a moment. It still leaves a good many clauses and rules that the normal person must abide by. Just thinking out loud.

Congratulations David ! Deserving

Double spacing

Joanne, it goes without saying that without you the program would not b the same. So all the kudos go to you. I agree with you about the disclaimers we so often see. It's like an author saying, I do apologise if you are offended but go to hell, I have written this and nothing you do or say will change any of it. Lol. I don't think we should apologise for anything we have written. Disclaimer: this story deals with a car that has a life of its own. Please close this book if such a thing offends you. (King., Christine) OR This story reveals images of a young boy who dabbles in magic, flies on a broom, and kisses a teenage girl. There is jealousy, fighting and magic spells. It also has wicked, evil antogonists. If this offends you please close the book and or turn your kindle off as it may influence you and millions of people around the world. (Rowling., Harry Potter) Just saying

Thank you Cia. Heart and hugs

What is hell? No partner? Living with a partner, lover, paramour? Living with an incurable ailment? Writers block? Rejection slips from publishers? Losing a chapter because you forgot so save your work? Hell no. Hell is being without Wi-fi. Suddenly, everything you want to do on the internet, is put on hold. Like quarantine. Like Jail. Like sitting in a doctor's consulting room waiting for bad news. Life is put on the backburner. All that is left is the miserable 3G byte gobbling service on your cell phone. I have made arrangements to purchase a new contract. The service provider offers the most lucrative deal against other service providers. 20 gigs a month for under R200.00. They have given me a pin and authorisation number, however, the router has not arrived. They are waiting for stock. Projects are on hold. The writers for whom I edit, will have to wait. My own writing projects are on hold. My daily curiosity of surfing the net to find wonder stories of authors who have hit the big time, is also on hold. As an agent for some authors, I am unable to communicate with publishing houses, and lastly, my own book site, one that requires daily maintenance, cannot be accessed. Hell. But, hey, things are not that bad. I still have my life-saving I-phone. I looked at a couple of gay sites yesterday, just to get a feel of what these sites are promoting. Now, I like erotic stories, no doubt about that, but do you think I could find one site that didn't have the same sex disclaimer, urging the reader to move on if he/she does not agree with male to male or female to female sex. My question is this: Why the disclaimer? Do straight sites say if you do not agree with male to female sex, move on? Nope. They don't. So why should we? In a world that is more accepting of gays than ever before, I don't see the necessity. However, having said that, I do realize that there are some countries and states that are intellectually and morally restricted, those states and countries that outlaw gays, and so I can live with that. Barely so. A story is just that, a story. Straight or gay or transgendered. If a straight person comes across a gay sexually graphic story on the internet, and if that person is shocked, naturally he will move on. If he stays and reads, well, that is his choice. And it really is all about choice. But being without Wi-fi is hell. Oh, and before I forget, we are always on the lookout for new Editors and beta readers. Without them, many stories will never see the light of day. If you are interested, give us a shout, we need you. I cannot link you to my name LJH or Joann414, because this is written from my cell phone. Have a great week.

Not being gay, is absolutely gay ... Just saying

Oh lawd, now i will have to include Tchaikovsky's Banging music....dramatic, powerful like a sledgehammer... Lol

Not unethical. I have done so with most of my writers. The editor/beta can only see the final product when it is posted, so in effect, it is "new". I really don't have a problem with that at all. In many cases the Beta or editor can see things in the published version that they missed whilst going over the work. Its all good.

Thank you Mr. Mann. Well, I hope there will no longer be any more tragic incidents. I have not used many plot arcs to the story so that should give you a clue. I hope these two can get their act together.

The paramedics wrested Bernard from Colton’s arms and placed him gently on a gurney. To Richard, he looked like the perfect angel; eyes closed, his skin honey smooth, hands folded neatly across his chest. Richard stumbled forward, begging them not to cover his face. The paramedics stepped back and Richard grabbed Bernard’s lifeless hand. One word. Dad. That’s all he needed to hear. One breath. Just one. One more squeeze of the hand. Maybe they could have played soccer the following day.

Just two words: Thorn Wilde

Murray is my honey

Prophecies. Anonymity. Alienated personality. Alter ego's. Good versus evil. Coupling/bonding. This is a brave effort and there were many places where i felt the WOW. Sentences jumped out at me. "The accursed...palms" and "Spit...dim" and "His body ... Cloud" and "Before... Oily cloud" Verbs that wowed me: unreeled. Wove. Abrading. Simile usage: "My throat...desert" The idea of employing two alienated races to come together to fight evil is not new. Nothing is new. Its more the way you have employed your characters. Humour. Drama. Action. And, as always, a lightness in your writing style that is always commendable. The problems i encountered were minimal. Some typos. The pacing could have been tighter by less usage of the continuous verb form. The active verb form is always the better option. For example: "was invading me" could b read as "invaded me". It reduces the WAS in all writings and increases the pacing tremendously. So Was dancing = danced, was walking = walked. Transitive verbs are a difficult lot, but once you become a friend of the active verb form, its like a new day has begun. The story gripped me. As you know, i don't really do fantasy or science fiction, but there was something about this story that compelled and engaged me. I think it was your hero and your antagonist's character. Thanks once again. A sterling story.

Seems like overall you had a great time. Whenever i think i have lost my wallet i break into a cold sweat, then invariably find it under the car seat. Like when i go to gym. There's the gym bag filled with clothes and towels and in another compartment the cell phone, wallet, earplugs sunglasses. Its amazing how many times i must use my wallet at gym. Its even more amazing that i have not lost cell or wallet. I have however lost swimming goggles and swimming trunks - and not in rhe swimming pool. I have never been to a rock festival. They are too expensive here. There is one called opikoppie here once a year and although i believe its a fun time for everyone, the festival is all about making money, including law enforcement. You pay to go in, pay to park, pay to camp out, pay for food and booze, pay for a close up spot, pay to use the ablutions with those coin toilets etc etc. I do like live concerts. The last one i went to was not lady Gaga. It was Westlife. Thoroughly enjoyed it. You talk about how apocalyptic youngsters can be at the age of 18 esp if they have had too much to drink or deugged up. I just find that 18 year olds think they know everything and no one can give then advice. I have yet to meet an unexperienced 18 year old. But, i guess i also was 18 once, like last century. I enjoyed your blog. Thanks

Well, it depends. If you sign off and walk away from us, i dont wanna say what i will do. Maybe give you a good old thrashing. But seeing that i friended you i must say this. I dont make friends for a day or a week. I like to keep them. So stay with us and build on that. I have lost one too many friends on GA, first Nathan, then Roan, and Vic. Life is far too short to not have friends. Friends are the sunshine of my life. Group pressure is sometimes overwhelming. But our brains kick in to belong. You belong here bro.