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Musings of a Messed Up Mind - 25. Will He Never Leave Me and Questions Without Answers
No, I am not having a breakdown. Though a few days back (and my shrink knows) I was in the shower and the desire to just shut off the cold water was so, so strong. I don't know why. But i wrote this poem after that. I didn't shut if off btw. But man i wanted to. Sometimes I just want to hurt.
The second poem, just my usual questions about life, maybe brought on by the cooling weather and wind today.
Will He Never Leave Me?
You know you’ll never be free of me
He often says and with much glee
I know he’s there and I know he’s right
He certainly was the other night
Talking in whispers in my brain
How he likes to cause me pain
I said haven’t you done enough?
Stop filling my head with your shit stuff
Oh, my little timmie tim
Don’t you know you can’t win
Only hot water can chase me away
Get in the shower so we can play
I’ll be cat, you be mouse
Then I’ll chase you round the house
You’ll never escape me, dontcha know
I’ll only get bigger in time ... I’ll grow
You’re still so weak, you cannot fight
Just accept it—I am right
I’m only a thought, but like cancer invades
I’ll squeeze you out tim, I will be obeyed!
So now boy, just rest your head
Close your eyes, and go to bed
Then I’ll be in your thoughts and mind
Forevermore and all time.
Questions Without Answers
Seasons are changing, the slow drift to cool
Winds are a-blowing from where I don’t know
I question myself and wonder my use
Do I or my words make a difference at all?
We run like mice on a wheel—nowhere
And we scribble and talk, it’s all folly
We love and we hurt and cling on indifferent
And at the end of it all, who’s gonna care?
But through it all I know I can’t stop
I scrawl out my feelings, hopes and my dreams
Sentences run-on, a-drift in my wake
Is life a gift, or a cruel punishment?
Sometimes questions aren't a good thing
Faith is the way so many do say, but
It's hard to believe in what I can't see
Maybe my questions are the way for me.
- 12
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you.
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