Morningstar: The Malaise - 36. Chapter 36 Aftermath

Morningstar: The Malaise

Chapter 36

The looks they exchanged were charged with excitement. There were no longer limitations to how they communicated in wolf form? Ironically, Kellar was rendered speechless for the moment, as his brain went into overdrive. It was an astonishing development; his healer mind began cataloguing the benefits, and safety was the biggest. This new gift from the joining had already saved his life. His guts would have been on the ground if not for Tobyn’s thought warning. A smile slowly grew on his face, matched by his mate’s. He wondered….

“Do you think we can…?”

“Hear thoughts in this form?” Kellar finished Tobyn’s question.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s try it. Think something to me,” he said with an eager impatience.

“Okay.” Tobyn’s concentration was apparent, but Kellar heard nothing. “Did you get that?”

“No, nothing. What did you say?”

Tobyn shot a glance at the group standing over Reznick, discussing what was needed to move him, aside from the bobcat. “I said, I love you, mountain man.” It came out in a whisper, and Kellar chuckled.

“I think everyone knows that.”

“Yeah, well. It doesn’t mean they all need to hear it.”

“You’re so cute when you turn that color.”

“Shut up, would you? So, anyway, it didn’t work. Try it on me, just to be sure.”

“Okay.” Kellar sent a silent message and waited.

“Ah, you said you loved me too.”

“You heard me,” Keller exclaimed, pleasure flooding him.

“Ha. Gotcha.”

“Huh? That’s exactly what I said… so you must have….”

“No, I didn’t… I just know you.” Tobyn reached up and cupped the cheek of Kellar’s now disappointed face. “Sorry… I couldn’t resist. You really are so easy.” Tobyn snickered. “It doesn’t matter, though, because we can talk as humans, and that’s good enough.”

“I am too easy, but that’s because I trust my mate.” Kellar showed Tobyn his tongue. “You’re right, though, that it’s no big deal. I just thought we had a new toy to play with.”

“We’ve already got toys to play with… nice ones, I think.”

Kellar laughed at his cheeky, grinning mate. “When you’re right, you’re right, babe.”

“What the heck are you guys still doing here? Go home and take care of all that slicing and dicing you went through. Like I said, we’ve got this,” Ingram called over.

“Yeah, we’re going. We were just checking something out,” Tobyn responded just before he turned into his golden self. Kellar happily followed.

They’d only gone a few hundred feet before Kellar suggested they stop, using their new-found thought-speak. He didn’t like that Tobyn was limping as much as he was. Tobyn, though, continued on. Kellar tried again. “Tobyn?” Still no effect, and his heart sank. Was it a onetime deal, like the colors? Frustrated, he yelled, “Stop!” Tobyn spun around on his haunches as if he’d been shot at again, and dropped his belly to the ground, looking all around them.

Kellar shifted. “Did you hear me yell?”

“Hell, yeah, you scared the crap out of me,” Tobyn answered upon following suit, standing carefully as he favored his shoulder. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. I tried talking to you… telling you to hold up, but you obviously didn’t hear me.”

Tobyn relaxed. “I was talking to you too. I just said how glad I was we didn’t have to take care of Reznick’s body. You didn’t hear me at all?”

“Uh uh. Not a word. But you heard me when I yelled. Interesting. Either we need practice, or there has to be some strong emotion behind it?”

“Maybe. What was your strong emotion?”

“I guess I was pissed because I thought our new wolf communication might have been like the colors, and, you know, disappeared the way they did.”

“Yeah, you were pretty disappointed last night, but please don’t be; I’m not. I can still see them in my mind, and that’s worth so much by itself. I’ll never, ever forget how incredible they were. Just because the colors went away doesn’t mean my seeing them wasn’t a gift to both of us.”

“Thanks. I know it’s enough we could share seeing them while we did. Anyway… maybe our wolf-speak is about focusing? Emotions can make you focus, so probably we have to really try in order to communicate in this new way. That would be better anyway, because we’d only hear what the other wants us to.”

“You got secrets, mountain man?”

“What? No, of course not. Really. You know what I mean, don’t you?”

“Gotcha again.” Tobyn chuckled. “Yeah, I know what you mean. We don’t want it to be like an annoying interference kind of thing. I think we need to practice, so let’s speak some words after we shift… say, five single words at different times, focus as we send them, and see whether either of us heard any. We’ll check when we get home. Sound good?”

“Yeah, great idea. Five words it is.”

“So, is this why you thought-yelled for me to stop?”

“Oh… no… you were limping. I thought it would be best for you to rest a while. We don’t have to hurry, and I could trickle some more healing. It should help with the pain.”

“Doc, I’m fine. I’m keeping my weight off it, so that’s why I might look bad as I’m trotting, but it’s doable, and I want to get home. I can’t do a full-out run, though. Maybe we can snuggle up in bed, and I’ll rest then. A nap would be good.”

“Okay, if you’re sure?”

“I am. What about you? How are your sides?”

“Bad. The slice is healing well enough, but my ribs, since I shifted, hurt like a son-of-a-bitch. I might not be able to make it the whole way home like this without taking a break.”

Concern spread across Tobyn’s face. “Oh damn. Why didn’t you say something earlier? Stay right here and take it easy. I’ll go get whatever herbs….”

“Gotcha.”

“Ah, seriously? I deserved that, didn’t I… so you’re really not hurting?”

“Yeah, you so did. As long as I don’t need to take really deep breaths, it’s doable,” he answered with a grin. “Home, and bed it is. The way we’re healing, a sleep should make us good as new. Come on; let’s hightail it out of here.”

“I’m ready. The farther we get away from here the better I’ll feel. I’d say ‘race you’ but you’d win… this time,” he teased. A quick grin, and Tobyn shifted, trotting off along the well-worn trail with his limp still noticeable. Kellar was on his tail the whole way back.

“River,” Tobyn said.

“Didn’t hear it.”

“Wind.”

“Yup.”

“Rabbit.”

“Yup.”

“Rock.”

“Nope. But I heard sex loud and clear. Am I right?”

“Yes,” Tobyn admitted with a snicker. "Thought I'd throw that one in there."

“So three out of five. Not bad, eh?”

“Not bad at all, doc.”

“It’s good for a start, Tobyn. Notice the three words I heard were the most important for the day… the wind, because it fucked with us, the rabbit because your wolf was hungry, and sex, well… you must still be reliving it like I am,” Kellar concluded with amusement.

“All true, so I can’t argue with your theory,” he agreed, running his hand down Kellar’s arm, causing the hairs to stand up and his skin to tingle. “I think I heard all your words. Tail, cliff, shower, Tobyn, and bed. Correct?”

“Totally. In the right order too. I think this means we only need a little more practice.”

“Well, I do, anyway.”

“We both do. You might be able to tune in to me better than I do to you. Whatever the reason, we’ll get it.” They were standing naked in their kitchen, and Kellar watched his mate go inward for a few seconds, making him curious. “What are you thinking about?”

“You know me,” he responded. “More dumb shit.”

“Tobyn?”

“Look, I’m trying not to lose it, but do you realize how close we came to failing? I mean, if that murderer had gotten away, knowing about the copper, our advantage would have been gone. I know I said I had faith in you, and I did at the time, but now… I don’t know. I’m just dealing, is all.”

“Yeah… is that all?”

“Pretty much.”

“You’re deflecting, my mate, so spill.”

Kellar watched an involuntary shudder go through Tobyn before he spoke again. “Seeing you lying there… I knew you were faking some of your pain, but I didn’t know how much, and he was too far away to reach, and he had the gun and he was closest to you, and the guy was fucking crazy so there was no telling when it was coming, and maybe I should have convinced you we shouldn’t go out there by ourselves because I could have lost you, and….”

Kellar stepped closer, and pulled the distraught man in against him as carefully as he could. “Hey, slow down. Stop. You’re freaking out, but I understand. I felt all of that too. Reznick said the Lord was watching out for him, but he had it all wrong. The earth mother was watching out for us.” He spoke in soothing tones as he moved his fingers in circles on Tobyn’s back. Anything more, and his ribs would protest. “You said it yourself… I would have reached him, and you were moving sideways, so even if Warren wasn’t there, we were both ready to react. We both had a plan no matter what he did. I think we proved today we were equipped for taking the bastard on, despite the bad luck of the wind and that goddam elk. And you didn’t lose me, and I didn’t lose you, and we didn’t let fear rule us. Isn’t that what’s important here?”

“Yeah, I know. I needed my dumb shit moment.” He winced a little as he pulled back to look at Kellar’s concerned face. “I’m good now, doc. Can we just go to bed? I don’t know why I feel so exhausted.”

“It’s because we’re healing, and there’s a little bit of shock from the whole ordeal. If you remember, we did expend a lot of energy last night,” he added, trying and succeeding in getting a smile. “And, we were up really early. I want bed too, but I think you need to message your mom before she shows up at our door, and nicely tell her we’ll come see her in a few hours. She might come anyway, but it’s worth a shot. You know she’s going to worry about her baby boy’s injury, and she would have heard all about it by now.”

“And yours. Okay, I’ll send her a text. I’m too tired to even shower.”

“Ditto. Maybe I should make you a tea and do some healing?”

“Do you really think you need to? Look how closed up my wound is.”

“Yeah, and mine too. It seems completing the joining has upped our ability to self-heal again. Let’s see where we’re at after a couple of hours sleep.”

Tobyn was already walking towards the bedroom. “Sounds like a plan. Come on, would you? I need my pillow,” he said, looking back impatiently.

“So, I’m just a pillow for you, huh?”

“Yeah, but you’re the best pillow ever.” He crawled onto the bed carefully, and sighed when he was finally prone.

Kellar did the same, but when Tobyn went to lay his head on his chest, he groaned. “I don’t….”

“Oh, shit. Sorry… I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay. Neither was I. How about we just hold hands?”

“I think that’s all we can do for now.”

“Yeah… for now. Tobyn? Can we not tell anyone we were prepared for Reznick? I want my brother to get full marks for what he did. I know Denver thought it was reckless, and maybe it was a little, but it also took tremendous courage….”

Tobyn squeezed the hand in his. “I agree, Warren deserves all the credit,” he mumbled before the deep breathing of sleep could be heard.

Kellar sighed in contentment, taking one last look at his beautiful mate before he closed his eyes. He sent a thank you to the earth mother, and let the comforting sound carry him under.

“We really did it!”

Kellar opened his eyes at the sound of his mate’s voice in a bedroom darkened by late afternoon gloom. The wind was still churning around outside, and the rain it drove splattered sporadically on the window. He stretched, and felt only an easily bearable ache. “You’re too far away.”

Tobyn moved closer. “Are you better now?”

“Yup… pain free… just some soreness. You can have your pillow back.”

“Good, I missed it. Before you ask, my shoulder feels right as rain. A little tightness but that’s all.” He laid his head on Kellar’s chest. “It’s amazing we can heal ourselves like this, isn’t it? From knife wounds of all things.”

“It’s the way it’s supposed to be for us… for all of us.”

“So, did you hear me?”

“Yeah, I was already awake, but you knew that didn’t you?”

“Uh huh. I was getting antsy waiting for you to open those baby blues.”

“I know… I could tell. And I was thinking the exact same thing. We’ve taken out two experienced hunters so far, but we can’t ever get cocky, like he was, because they are tougher and stronger than I ever would have thought. I still can’t believe how quick this Reznick was.”

“I know I brought it up, but let’s not think about him right now. We’ll have to rehash this with Mom soon.” His sigh wasn’t audible, but Kellar felt the breath of it blow across his chest. It was intensely erotic, but now wasn’t the time.

“I’m starving.”

“I could eat an elk.”

Kellar laughed. “Well, I happen to know where one likely is, if you really want elk meat.”

“No… no more woods for me today. Whatever the lodge has is fine… I was definitely kidding. Ready?”

“Ready. Share a shower?”

“With you? Anytime, doc,” he said with a grin. “A really hot one.”

“You certainly are, my mate.”

Elinor was frowning on the other side of the desk. “I don’t like this one bit. I never should have allowed you boys out there on your own like that. It was one thing to let you search out other packs, but this… this…it was irresponsible of me to let you face an experienced hunter head-on. I think I need to reconsider you taking more risks.” She plunked down into her chair, having finally run out of steam, at least temporarily.

“Mom, we’re not boys for God’s sake. Nothing happened to us.”

“Nothing happened? Nothing happened? How can you say that?” Her voice rose steadily higher. “Both of you were stabbed… stabbed, Tobyn, by an expert killer, so don’t you dare act like it was no big deal. And, you are a boy, at least to me. You’re only twenty years old, and you came very close to not making it to your next birthday. If Warren hadn’t been there….”

After watching Tobyn and his mom go back and forth on this since the relaying of their encounter with the hunter, Kellar finally entered the conversation. He felt sorry for the woman whose face had all but drained of any color. “Elinor, I understand what you’re going through, and I know it’s not easy. It’s no different from what Tobyn and I felt. The situation scared the hell out of us too, but to backtrack and start thinking you might not want us going out to look for other packs is just giving into fear again. We went through this already, and you agreed it was something we had to do.”

“Yes, Kellar, but….”

“Just let me say this one thing, please, and then I’ll back out of your talk to your son.” He was beginning to understand that fear activated her protective motherly instincts to an almost irrational level, and more balance was needed if they didn’t want her to pull rank. She was close to outright forbidding their intended excursions, and Kellar didn’t want to see a rift between mother and son. “We told you if it wasn’t for Warren, we’d have been done for. We shouldn’t have done that.”

Elinor, still looking ashen, leaned forward in her seat. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not entirely true. Yes, Warren shot the hunter, and he killed the hunter, but we, Tobyn and I, were ready. I was a split second from his throat when Warren’s gun went off, and Tobyn was leaping to the side at the same moment, so Reznick was already doomed.” He looked over at his mate, who nodded. “We aren’t defenseless young kids, ma’am, and I think you know that. As a pair, we are up for the challenge, and that’s not being arrogant or cocky, or irresponsible. We’ve all had a tough day, but there is still a job to do, and we are the ones to do it… Elinor.”

“Exactly why did you hold that information back from me?” She looked from Kellar to her son.

“It was my suggestion,” Kellar answered. “What my brother did was courageous beyond measure, and we wanted him to get all the credit he deserves for taking such a huge threat out… and for caring so much about the pack. It seemed right, but I didn’t take into account a mother’s fears.” He gave her a tentative smile. “Sorry.”

“I am afraid, Kellar. We can’t afford to lose either one of you. I can’t afford to.” Her face was still creased with worry.

“Would it help to know we can communicate as wolves?”

“I’m sorry? What does that mean? Tobyn?”

“What Kellar is trying to say is that we can hear each other’s thoughts after we’ve shifted. We can’t do it in human form, though.” He grinned at his mate.

“Oh, goodness. How is that possible? I’ve never heard of such a thing occurring between mates before. Are you sure? Of course you’re sure… never mind. When did this start?”

Tobyn looked at Kellar, already starting to turn red. “Ah, we, ah….”

“What Tobyn is trying to say is we completed our joining last night, and it was because he warned me about the knife I didn’t see Reznick pull from behind his waist that I was able to escape more serious damage. He did it when we were in wolf form, Elinor. That was the first time it happened.”

“First?”

“Yes. We’ve been practicing since and we’re getting better at it. So, does that help with your worry? It gives us another advantage over any hunters we might encounter when we’re scouting out other packs.”

“It’s astounding. This is almost too much to fathom. I… do you realize how special this makes you?” Elinor appeared at a loss for words after that, spinning her chair around to face a window that looked out into rain and blowing pines.

Kellar raised his eyebrows at his mate, but Tobyn was watching his mother as she stared outward. They all remained quiet and unmoving for a couple of minutes.

“This is definitely the work of the earth mother,” Elinor spoke softly. “I was right before, when I said there was more involved in our resurgence. This gift has been bestowed upon you two for a reason, and I have no right to interfere. She protected you today, and I have to believe she will continue to do so.” She turned her chair back to face them, and the worry was gone from her face. “I’m sorry I over-reacted, and Kellar, you must understand I think of you as my son now too. I wasn’t just having this conversation with Tobyn. My ‘mother’s fears’ extend to you as well. Do you get that?”

“Ah, yes, ma’am, I do.” He was encompassed in a warm feeling as Elinor looked at him.

“Good. Now go eat. I can tell you’re both famished, and whatever is being prepared smells delicious. I’ll bet you haven’t eaten since this morning. Go. I’ll join you when Denver gets here. Everyone will be happy to see you, and you were right to give Warren his due. I won’t tell a story that’s any different from yours.”

“Thanks, Mom. So, you’re still okay with our road trip?”

“Yes, dear. If I were to put my foot down, you two probably wouldn’t listen to me anyway, would you?”

Kellar answered. “Probably not, ma’am.” He looked over to a smirking Tobyn.

“That’s my mate… honest to a fault. I may have to teach him the art of diplomacy.” Tobyn’s smirk became a grin.

Elinor’s laughter followed them out the door.

Kellar stopped in the hallway when his phone’s text alert went off. Peering at the screen, he chuckled. “It’s from Warren. Take a look,” he said, showing the message to Tobyn.

“Wow, bro. My mate has a wicked temper. I got mad skills as a sweet talker though, and all is forgiven. She still loves me, but don’t count on me to save your furry asses for a while… a week at least. lol”

Tobyn outright laughed. “I fucking love that guy,” he said as they entered the dining room hand in hand. Neither one was expecting the loud applause they received.

Thank you to my editor, Timothy M., and to those who support this story.