The Nekromancer - 91. Chapter 91

“No. Absolutely not.”

Amnor Sen approached the two, a scowl on his face. Taking a seat, he stared between Jakun and Jeremy, barely able to believe his ears.

“Jeremy, of all the hairbrained schemes you’ve had…”

“It could work. I’m not saying I want to go through with it, but I totally could. How hard could it be? Besides, if they let Cayden Cailean partake in the trial, why not me? And why not Jakun? Think about what we could accomplish Amnor Sen. You could be the Herald of Shelyn, travelling the lands and creating monuments of amazing art in her honor,” Jeremy urged.

“It sounds to me like you want to do it. This city is nearly five thousand years old. In that time, there have been four people to survive this test. Doesn’t that sound like an impossible task to you?”

“What of my vision Jeremy? What if this is how you die?” Jakun asked quietly.

“Jakun, you can’t live life on what if. I am going to die someday. That is a fact. And let’s face it, this could be what kills me. I would be okay with that.”

“For all your talk about not wanting to go, and how you don’t want to be a god-”

Amnor Sen interrupted Jakun, glaring at his husband.

“Admit that you want this,” he said quietly. “Go on. Say it. Tell us you aspire to be better than Cayden Cailean.”

“Not better. Never better. But I desire to follow in his footsteps. Becoming a god puts a bit of a damper on the desire, but it’s still there. If I could better serve Cayden Cailean through immortality, you better believe I’ll do it.”

“Even I’m not that much of a fanatic Jeremy,” Amnor Sen snapped. “Fuck, it’s not even being a fanatic. You literally want to become a deity, no matter how you spin it.”

“Imagine how much good we could do in the world Amnor Sen. We could outfit all the crusaders in Mendev with magic, or destroy Geb and their undead armies-”

“Jeremy, if the gods haven’t done that already, wouldn’t they have a reason?” Jakun said.

“But you, Jakun, you could stop Loran with nothing more than a thought. You could have life again, drink all the milk you want, be free from Pharasma’s threat,” Jeremy added.

“Gods have mercy. You actually plan on going through with this…” Amnor Sen glared. “Fine. But know this Jeremy. It is suicide and I will not help you with it.”

The paladin turned his full gaze on his husband, standing up.

“If you continue down this path, it will only end in your death. And I will mourn you, fifty years early. But I cannot and will not fight you. You do whatever you think best.”

The elf turned on his heel, heading back to their rooms, and leaving the table in a stunned silence.

“Don’t do it Jeremy. It’s not worth losing the people you love,” Jakun said quietly. “I’ll do it on my own. If there is a chance I can reverse what I did to myself, I’ll take that chance.”

“It did save your life once,” Jeremy shrugged, still staring after Amnor Sen. “He… He is not backing down on this. I’m going to lose him over this.”

“There’s still time to back out Jeremy. You do not have to do this. I don’t want you to do this.”

“Then it’s a good thing this isn’t your choice Jakun. If you’re crossing that chasm, then so am I. We’ll do it together and make sure we both survive. I can’t believe I’m saying this to a lich, but I trust you to watch my back.”

“And when it is done and Amnor Sen is gone? What will you do Jeremy? Is an immortality of loneliness really what you want? I’ve doomed myself already. You haven’t.”

“Stop trying to dissuade me,” Jeremy said. “I’ve made my decision, and I’m sticking by it.”

“Then why the earlier worry? Why would you say being a god was bad? You acted like it was a dealbreaker, like you didn’t want it.”

“Because I still had to get my head around it. Face it Jakun, you need this. And I’m going to help you, if nothing else. Maybe Amnor Sen would help too, if it was for you. Maybe not. This could be your redemption, and I don’t think he’d want to miss it.”

“Jeremy, you sound more and more indecisive with each word out of your mouth. Do you want to follow your god? Help me return to life? Redeem me? Which one is it?”

“Why can’t it be all of those things?”

“Because I don’t want to be responsible for your death,” Jakun said sharply. “I’ve killed my friend and my mother. I can’t let you go with me if it would mean your death too. It’s why I insisted on returning to Geb on my own, to keep you safe. And now you want to throw that away for what? Glory? A chance at adventure? You tried to destroy me already, and don’t try to deny it. I feel it every time a hand touches my soul. And yours bore ill will until my memories stopped you.”

“You… you knew?”

“Of course I knew. And I expected it. If you killed me and I failed, then so be it. It was your right not to help me. But that’s why I asked Amnor Sen, and not you. Because he’s more level headed than either of us, and he can withstand whatever influence I end up having. Talking to you, you don’t even know if you want to mix beer with your ale or ale with your beer. And now you want to become a god? Trust me Jeremy, this is not something to do hastily, and I will be doing my own research. I will take my time to decide, and not let what might happen cloud my judgement. I did that once, and it was the worst decision of my life.”

Jakun drank what remained of his milk before standing up. He stared at Jeremy almost sorrowfully, before turning away.

“I’m going to the library. And you should go to a temple and do some soul searching, while you still have one.”