Brian: Taking Courage - 7. Toby

Gordon's flat was very nice indeed, far classier than anything Brian might have afforded. It was in a 1960s, purpose-built block with five flats in it, on the North-West edge of Parborough, convenient but quiet. The road wasn't a busy one, and the building's ground floor was taken up by a firm of accountants, so there was usually no-one there evenings and weekends. It was also handy for Brian's Mum, as Mereham where she lived was South-East of Huntsford (in fact it was almost part of the town now) so on the Parborough side of Huntsford. Added to which, Toby went to school at Mereham District Academy, which meant logistics were going to be OK. At a pinch, Toby could cycle from school to Gordon's flat as there was a route through the fields, away from the main road.

Gordon's flat was the only one on the top floor. Great views and no neighbours. There was even an outside terrace, and they could event get away with wandering around naked if they had felt inclined. They'd arrived very late the night before, Wednesday, and Gordon's parents had left a welcome pack of wine, nuts, bread and cheese that they had torn into. As far as Brian could tell, the decor was a bit schizophrenic; basic beige and ordinary curtains, but there were touches that were artful, arty and just plain overdone. Yes, there were hand-made pots, and tie-dyed throws, but a note from Gordon's Mum had said that they'd done just what needed replacing, and Gordon and Brian could alter things to their taste, but when they came on Saturday there was something for them.

They were going over to Gordon's parent's place on Saturday for lunch and to collect Gordon's things. His parents, Evie and Drew, lived in an old mill near Stevenham, North of Huntsford, but near enough to pop across without too much fuss. Then they were going over to Brian's Mum's on Sunday for a similar purpose, which meant quite a bit of crossing the same bit of countryside. They expected that was going to happen a lot. Toby would meet them at Brian's Mum's and come and stay for a few days. Then they'd go off to the cabin, and the weather was set to be fine.

Thursday, they had gone shopping, visiting IKEA and B&Q in Parborough. They had wandered round the flat in the morning, taking stock what was there, working out what they might need. It wasn't a complete list, but it was a start. Waking up together in the strange room had been fun. They hadn't actually had sex, just kissed and cuddled. Now they were coming back, looking forward to putting their feet up, maybe some sex, and then unpacking. They were using taxis to start with; Gordon's car was in the garage being got ready and it would be waiting for him at his Mum and Dad's, the garage owner being a neighbour of theirs. Returning from shopping, somewhat laden down, the two men unloaded the stuff out of the taxi.

"There's a kid sitting on the step, on a suitcase. It looks like your Toby."

Brian looked up, "Fuck. It is Toby, the little bugger I told him Sunday."

"Toby!" Brian shouted and Toby ran over and gave Brian a hug. The boy was clearly upset and whatever riposte Brian had on his lips died immediately.

"Sorry Dad, I know you said. But Mum insisted. When I got home from school, she had this bag packed and said that you could 'bloody well look after' me for a bit as she'd done her stint. I think she and Jasper are off somewhere."

"Look, you'd better come in and we can work something out. This is Gordon", Toby nodded to Gordon, stared at him and shook hands.

"Can I ask you a question?", this said to Gordon.

Gordon smiled, "Sure."

"Well, it's two questions really", Toby had his serious face on, "Is it Ok if I tell people you're Dad's boyfriend, or are you just flat mates. I sort of didn't want to get it wrong."

The two men exchanged a look and a quiet smile, that the boy was so intent on doing the right thing he'd temporarily forgotten his own predicament, "Boyfriend. Your Dad and I plan to be straight with everyone about it. And you can call me Gordon, that OK?"

Toby nodded, "That was my next question."

"Right, well let's get in and get all this stuff upstairs. There's no lift I'm afraid."

Toby set to and helped them and soon the stuff was all stacked up on the hall. Toby's suitcase was on the spare bed, and they were in the kitchen drinking tea (the men), fizzy water (Toby) and organic biscuits (bought today with a view to Toby visiting at the weekend). Brian was scanning the letter from Deirdre that Toby had given him.

"Says that she feels she deserves a break, and Toby can stay with me for a bit. It's about time I did my share. That's about it. No idea for how long."

"I think she and Jasper are away for over a week, I overheard them planning last week."

"Last week! So she's known for a bit?"

"I think so", Toby looked anxious.

"Look, it's not your fault at all. You can only do what your Mum says. How come you didn't go to Gran's?"

"Well, It's her afternoon for the club, so I knew she wouldn't be there and, well, she gets anxious when Mum messes things about."

"You bet."

"So I figured I'd wait here for you, and then we could go together, this evening."

"Nonsense", Brian ruffled Toby's hair, "Now you're here you can stay. That Ok, sport?"

Toby smiled, hesitatingly, "Thanks.".

"Now, you go off and get out of those school clothes. Get your stuff for the morning out, so we're all ready, and then we can sort ourselves out here. I'll phone your Gran this evening and let her know how things are. So, no worries. It'll be take-away tonight, Indian, Chinese or pizza, and before you ask, none of them serve healthy food."

"Dad!", Toby grinned, "Indian it is then" left and a few minutes later they heard him going into the bathroom and the shower starting.

"You OK with all this?"

Gordon nodded, "Of course, I knew he'd be staying, and we're just about sorted so we don't need to worry. He's clearly chuffed to be here, even if it happened in a shitty way."

Brian shook his head, "I can't believe she just upped and left for a holiday without warning me in advance."

"You'll have to leave it; you'll do your head in otherwise. Do you have a solicitor?"

"Yeah, well, there was the woman that sorted things out when custody got tricky and stuff. Why?"

"Then, I think you should contact her. Explain what's happened and talk about getting the custody arrangements changed. If Deirdre's messing you around like this, then you need to be prepared", he pointed to Deirdre's letter, "put that somewhere safe, and make some notes about what Toby said just now. OK?"

"Yeah", good idea.

Brian went off to find paper and pen and write some notes. He had a folder of stuff about Toby, he'd put it with that. Brian could hear Gordon pottering around, getting plates out and stuff for their dinner, and there was Toby's voice, low. Clearly, he'd sorted himself out after the shower. Then Gordon put his head round the door.

"I think you'd better come and see this."

Gordon led him to Toby's room where the boy's clothes for the week were neatly lined up on the bed. It looked like a completely random assemblage.

"Who put these together?"

Toby pulled a face, "Mum. She was desperate to get me out the house, said everything I need is there."

Brian took a sharp intake of breath, calm Brian. "Bugger. We can go shopping tomorrow after visiting Gran."

"Problem is Dad", Toby hesitated.

"Yes. Tell me, it's OK."

"I don't have clean clothes for school."

"Nothing?"

"No. What shirts there are, are all t-shirts and stuff. I can't wear those at school."

"What about the one you wore today?"

Toby picked a shirt up from the floor and held it for them to see, "We were larking around, and well..."

There was a huge grass stain, Brian had to smile. "We can wash it."

"Well", Gordon looked rueful, "there's a washer here all right, but no tumble drier and the laundrette's just closed", he looked at his watch, "leastwise, it always closed early on Thursdays and Fridays."

"Great. Can we go back to your Mum's?"

"The thing is, Jasper got her to put some fancy new alarm in, because they were going away and stuff. And I don't have the code."

"Bloody hell, you don't have the code to get into the house", Toby shook his head and looked set to burst into tears. Couldn't have that. Brian gave him a hug. "Here's what we'll do. You pick out the tidiest shirt you have."

"But Dad…"

Brian held up his hand, "And I'll come with you to school tomorrow. Best I get myself introduced anyway, and I'll explain what's going on and tell them you're not to blame. And if they cause a fuss, there'll be hell to pay."

Toby gave a grin, "They're real hot on wearing the correct uniform."

"And I'm real hot on making sure petty little jobsworths don't exceed their authority and victimise my son. OK?"

"OK Dad".

"Now, come and decide what you want to order for dinner."

The evening was quiet, and rather old-fashioned. They'd not sorted out broadband and stuff for the house, it was on Brian's list of things that needed doing. So it was books or watch TV. There was a stupid old film on, and they watched that.

"Dad, do you think Mum'd let me come over more?"

"I don't know. I'd been going to have a word with her, but all this mess has rather thrown me. I plan to speak to the solicitor tomorrow and see whether we can look at the custody arrangements again."

"It's stupid, I'm not a kid."

"I know, but you're not strictly an adult either. So the courts get to stick their oar in."

---

The next morning was hell. Up ridiculously early, rushing to get Toby to school in time, and then the din. A hundred or something teenagers crammed into a too-small playground. Mereham District Academy had a fancy name, but the premises were an unhappy mix of the original 1950s buildings, a 1970s extension and a modern science block. It didn't look like a particularly good school, but Brian could no longer remember quite why they'd chosen it. Convenience and location he suspected, it was close enough to Deirdre's place in Huntsford for Toby to cycle to school and was just round the corner from Brian's Mum. Had they both chosen it, or had Deirdre? Certainly Deirdre was able to drop Toby off at school on the way to work in Parborough, so perhaps that had been the draw.

Brian and Toby were spotted and accosted by a middle-aged man, short, overweight, with tiny glasses and a bristling moustache. Which matched his manner. No, they couldn't just waltz in and see someone, they would need an appointment. They should go home and get Toby properly dressed, that was what was important. It went round in circles, endlessly, with constant interruptions as the guy, whose name Brian never learned, would interrupt with imprecations to other pupils, or get interrupted by pupils. Brian simply stood there, silent insolence it had been called in the Army, and waited it out, looming over the man. He was buggered if Toby was going to get problems for some idiocy of Deirdre's. Finally, Brian glared at him and said that he would rather talk elsewhere but, if necessary, he could explain why his marital problems were causing trouble for Toby.

"Is there a problem?"

The new speaker was a tall, grey-haired woman. Brian noticed Toby rather quail at the sight of her, "I was just trying to explain. I'm just back from a five-year tour of the Middle-East and my ex- has unexpectedly left Toby with me, without any decent clothes. It's complicated, and it's not Toby's fault."

"Come with me. It'll be quieter in my office, and I can pull up Toby's details."

Toby waited outside on a bench that was usually used by pupils awaiting anticipated punishment from their head of year. Her office was tiny and unimpressive, but quieter than the playground. She looked over at Brian, "Why do we not know about you, as far as I can see you have never been to the school?"

"Toby's Mother and I have had problematic relations for many years. I spent the last five working in the Middle East. Trips home were difficult, and I only ever saw Toby at weekends or in holidays. Deirdre, Toby's mother, never let me near the school. The last couple of visits home, I managed to spend more time with Toby. He was due to come on Sunday and stay for his Easter holidays with us. We got back from IKEA yesterday, to find him sitting on the doorstep."

"Might I ask, who 'we' is?"

"I'm sharing a flat with another guy I worked with over there. We both finished at the same time, but...", he paused, "he's also my boyfriend."

The woman, Amanda Wilson, he'd got her name, raised her eyebrows, "is this common knowledge?"

"Not yet. Toby knows, my Mum, his parents, that's the important. Now you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, by the way. You might need these", Brian handed her a couple of documents.

"Very impressive. Birth certificate, doctor's letter and ID."

"I learned long ago. I was in the Army when Toby was young, and, well, there were a couple of nasty moments when he was a kiddie, folk not believing I was his Dad", he shrugged.

She handed them back, "Thank you, I'll put a note on your file."

"Toby gave me a letter from his Mum. It tells me that she's fed up and going away for a break. Toby says she and her boyfriend are off for ten days. She packed his bag and hustled him out. His grandmother goes out to her club on Thursdays, so he came to me. Thing is, Deirdre didn't pack any of his school clothes, and we had no way of getting the current shirt dry if we washed it. Still not organised, yet", he shrugged, "And Toby can't get back into his Mum's house because he doesn't have the code to the new burglar alarm."

She raised an eyebrow at this latter comment but didn't add anything, instead she stared at him, "How involved will you be with Toby's life now you are back?"

"As much as I can. As you can imagine, I'm planning on seeing my solicitor and seeing if we can sort arrangements out."

She brought the meeting briskly to a close, there was a chitty for Toby to show anyone who took him to task for his dress, a comment that she had made a note on Toby's record and a nod to Brian saying that she looked forward to seeing him again.

Toby was rather wide-eyed when they'd finished, "Wow. That was Miss Wilson!"

"Who is?"

"Oh, she's the head of my year. I've always been a bit, you know" and he hunched his shoulders, "but she was great", a grin. "Thanks Dad", and Toby ran off.

---

"How was Toby?"

Gordon had been pottering about in the kitchen when Brian returned. Brian kissed him, which was still a novelty, "Fine. We had a bit of a problem with a jobsworth who wanted me to make an appointment. But we got there. His head of year saw us, and sorted things out. She seemed on the ball." Whilst he said this, Brian was busy unfastening Gordon's jeans. The two kissed and stepped out of their jeans and started to feel each other's bodies.

"I need to shave."

Brian snorted, "Before or after?"

Gordon looked down at two very erect penises, "I'm not sure I can wait."

Brian grinned, "Do you good", and he stroked the mushroom head of Gordon's dick, running his finger round the edge. Gordon responded by licking his little finger and started teasing Brian's. Brian shuddered as the end of Gordon's finger eased in and out. But there were other pressing concerns, and soon Brian was bending over the kitchen counter with Gordon's tongue deep inside him.

"We won't be able to do this when Toby's around."

Gordon grinned, "All the more reason to make time now."

"You worried he'll catch us?"

"Not sure. Part of me thinks that he knows we're doing stuff, but I'm not sure I want him to actually see us doing it." Gordon laughed, "I certainly wouldn't wanted to have seen my Dad doing stuff."

Brian smiled, "Me neither."

The rest of the day was spent sorting the flat, arranging all of the rubbish they'd bought at IKEA, sorting out Broadband and WIFI, arguing over what subscriptions to take for the TV. To his surprise, Brian managed to have a long and useful conversation with a solicitor. He had rung the practice and explained what was going on and quite soon afterwards a woman had phoned back, she had taken over his case files. Frances Wilson sounded capable and seemed pretty au fait with what had gone on before, she was most helpful in advising Brian, reiterating the need to keep a log of what was going on. She would contact Deirdre's solicitors to find out if there was room for manoeuvre before resorting to heavier means.

Lunchtime seemed to disappear and so mid-afternoon they took a break and had some bread and cheese. It was tempting to have a beer too, but they had more work to do. When Toby reappeared from school, they had just about got everything shipshape. A man had even come to connect the broadband, as the building already was wired up and it turned out to be simplest if they went for that option. Late afternoon, Brian dashed out to the local Co-op to buy some food, and when he returned Toby was ensconced in the kitchen regaling Gordon with a story about school.

"How was school, sport?"

"Great Dad", said through a mouthful of biscuit, "Your visit to Miss Wilson did the trick and there was no hassle about my shirt. But plenty of guys wanted to know why I wasn't staying with Mum and who you were living with."

"What did you say?"

"I was going to say you were living with your boyfriend, but I chickened out. If I tell them you're gay, then I'll get lots more hassle."

"That's OK, you need to deal with things in your own time."

"That's what Gordon said."

"Oh, it's Gordon, is it?"

Toby went a bit pink, "I did ask him what to call him and he said Gordon was OK", he then grinned, "But you're still my Dad."

Brian cooked their dinner. It turned out that Gordon's ability in the kitchen was minimal. Brian's Mum had insisted that he learn to 'fend for himself' and he had a small repertoire of food he dared cook. It had been sometime since he had done so, but he was busy in the kitchen chopping veg. So far, the food was stuff from the local Co-op, which wasn't bad, but Brian knew that they'd have to make a few trips to the wholefood place in Huntsford or find somewhere similar in Parborough. He'd decided he wanted to make a bit of an effort.

He and Gordon had agreed to that they wouldn't be badly off, even paying Deirdre maintenance, and that being a bit more careful where stuff came from was a good idea. Toby read every label carefully, but Brian noted that the boy didn't always say anything, but it would be nice to at least try and satisfy some of his concerns.

The doors were open, and he could hear Toby and Gordon on the balcony.

"You don't have a garden?"

"No, not even a shared one I'm afraid, just the balcony."

"There's lots of space, and I bet Dad likes the view." There was silence for a bit, then Toby continued in a more hesitant voice. "If... If I get to come over and visit more, could I keep some plants on the balcony. Only a few, I thought there's plenty of space and Mum won't let me do stuff in the garden, says it causes too much bother."

Brian hadn't heard that one before. He was annoyed at first, but then thought about it. He leaned out onto the balcony, "Don't forget your Mum's busy, sport, especially now she's now deputy manager."

Gordon looked at him, "At the beauty spa?"

"Yeah, big one in Parborough, she's been there years."

Toby pulled a face, "I suppose so, but I don't think Mum likes gardening much. Gran manages to keep her garden looking great."

Brian rolled his eyes, "Except your Gran doesn't work full time. OK".

Toby nodded and Gordon decided to try to move the conversation on. "I doubt we'll use the balcony for much beyond the odd drink. Your Dad and I find the weather a bit cool here after living in the desert for five years. So yes. Plants will be fine."

"I'll look after them. Gran always said that Dad had the opposite of green fingers and shouldn't be let near a plant."

Gordon laughed, "Are you sure you want to let him loose in the kitchen."

"Oh, he's OK. There. We had some great food when we stayed in cousin David's cabin. Could we? Could we go and buy some plants next weekend. I've got some money saved up for them."

"Saved up?"

"Yeah, I figured that if I couldn't do stuff I wanted now, I'd save till I could."

"What type of plants?"

"I have a list, plants that are good, that give something back, that are helpful for bees and insects."

"So, we're going to have lots of insects buzzing around annoyingly."

"No. Sorry. I didn't mean..."

"Sorry, mate. I was joking. It's fine. As long as there's space to stand with a beer or glass of wine, then you can fill the place with plants. Just plants?"

"Well, I'd always wanted to build a bug hotel and that sort of thing in our garden at home, but I don't know whether they work on balconies. We have a project at school, so I'm going to ask when we go back."

Brian had everything ready, so he broached a couple of beers and went out to join Toby and Gordon.

"I think the plant idea sounds great. And perhaps you could teach Gordon and I how to look after them, so you don't have to do all the work. If you trust us, that is", he gave a grin, so Toby knew he was joking.

"That'd be great."

"And there might be things you can do for birds or flying insects."

"Perhaps Toby could learn to keep bees", Gordon smiled but Brian rolled his eyes.

Luckily Toby did not see, "That'd be great. Do you think we could?"

Brian shrugged, "Frankly. I know nothing about bees. And don't know whether sticking them on a roof terrace would work. But, if Gordon's OK with it", and Gordon was nodding, "then why don't you do a bit of research? If you need me to talk to someone, fine, but see how much information you can find out. Perhaps the guy who runs the project at school might know who to talk to."

"Best idea is to find someone who keeps them locally and who's willing to chat about it."

Toby was delighted, "That's so cool."