Brian: Taking Courage - 8. Parents

"Well, this is a surprise. I hope Toby wasn't too upset at Deirdre's shenanigans".

Gordon and Brian's Mum, Denise, were in her kitchen where she was preparing dinner and he was being politely questioned. Toby had been sent off to show his Father round the garden whilst Denise chatted to Gordon. It had been a somewhat hectic morning as Gordon had decided it made sense to go and fetch his car, as otherwise they would have to mess around with yet more taxis to get to the shops to buy Toby some clothes and stock up properly with groceries. Now Gordon had been put at the kitchen table with a drink. It was a pleasant, slightly old-fashioned room with a warm comforting air, a kitchen that was well-used and well loved. Denise was ostensibly tending the food on the cooker, but Gordon knew that talking to him was her priority.

"I think he was a bit upset at first, but he got to stay with his Dad earlier than expected and once we got over the shirt fiasco", a snort here from Denise, "then all was fine."

"I don't know why you didn't just phone his friend Justin's parents. The boys are about the same size?"

"We weren't thinking, really. Finding Toby just sitting on the doorstep, so soon after we got back from the Emirate was shock enough. I don't think it occurred to Brian; he's been a bit out of the loop recently."

"Hmm. Not from want of trying. He's phoned the solicitor?"

"Yes. He's keeping a log of what's going on. We'd actually talked about that even before the solicitor got in contact."

"Good idea."

"And the solicitor's going to speak to Deirdre's lot, see whether there's any room for manoeuvre."

Another snort from Denise, "Best of luck with that. And otherwise?"

Gordon shrugged, "The full force of the law. Depends on how much stress it is for Toby. I gather it's not always fun for him, but getting solicitors involved can make things worse. We've seen it with other guys in the troop."

"I'm sure. But that Jasper is a nasty one."

"It isn't just that", Denise gave Gordon a sharp look, "Toby and I were chatting last evening whilst Brian was preparing supper. Toby was talking about keeping plants on the balcony."

"As long as you keep my son away from them!"

Gordon grinned, "That's what Toby said. Evidently Deirdre won't let him do stuff in their garden, it's too much bother. He wants to have a bug hotel and things, but she says not."

"A bug hotel? Whatever next", she sighed, "but kids can have far worse hobbies. So is he having one?"

"We're not sure whether they work on top floor balconies. More research to be done."

"And I imagine my grandson will be delighted."

"Seems so. And the idea of bees came up."

"Bees. A hive you mean?"

"Well, you hear of it."

"I might know of someone he could talk to. Oh, don't say anything, I'll sound him out first. And I will speak to Toby about that bug hotel, whatever it is. We might be able to have one here".

"He seems remarkably focused on ecology and growing things."

"Yes, it seems to have skipped a few generations. My husband was hardly interested in the farm and when it started to be uneconomic, he had no qualms at his Father selling it, and Brian never evinced any interest at all. Lovely that Toby is interested in growing things, even if it means taking over your balcony."

Gordon smiled, "Our balcony. We live there together."

"Quite. Sorry. It's taking a bit of getting used to. Oh, I have no problem with Brian being gay, and it's lovely he has been able to settle down with someone he's known for such a long time. But still, having your 30-odd-year-old son starting to live with a man takes a bit of remembering and getting your head round. We spent so long tiptoeing on egg-shells over his relationship with Deirdre, or lack thereof, that this sort of crept up unawares."

"I think it was easier for us because we were away."

"Out of harm's reach?"

"It seems so."

"Oh it was. Deirdre is poison, I'm afraid. How are you doing with Toby, must be a bit of a shock for you to adjust to?"

"Well, it's not as if I didn't know that Toby existed, and it was clear from day one that if you wanted Brian you took Toby as well. I've always understood that, and it's one of the things I love about the guy."

"You must have been very patient?"

"You learn patience, stuck out in the desert with F all to do. Besides, it was worth it."

To Gordon's relief Toby and Brian came back, with Toby talking eagerly about the plants in his grandmother's garden and ones that had come into flower. Brian looked over the top of his son's head and caught Gordon's eye and winked. It made for a slightly uneasy meal. The fact that Toby was there unexpectedly with the spectre of Deirdre's behaviour hanging over them, Brian and Gordon getting used to being a couple, or being seen as a couple, Gordon having to adjust and find a place for himself in the already established dynamic of Brian and his mother. There were no problems, and the conversation was relatively easy as most of it was a monologue from Denise about all the people Brian once knew, catching him up on their recent histories. And Gordon heard this with not a little amusement as he knew from comments Brian had made to him in the past, that Brian had very little interest in all these people he had left behind.

---

"He's a nice boy." With a bit of manoeuvring, Denise had got Brian on his own, whilst Gordon and Toby were in the sitting room. Brian had known this was coming, his Mother would always have opinions.

"Hardly a boy, Mum."

Denise smiled, "That's a matter of opinion. Anyway, I like him, and he seems to like Toby."

"Yes, they got on OK. Thursday was a bit of a shock, too much happening at once."

"Bloody woman."

"The solicitor thinks we might stand a chance."

"What if she plays another of her tricks?"

"What?"

"Well, I can think of two, at least. Now, don't bite my head off. One, she might turn round and say, well he lives with you full time. I've had him for 14 years, now it's your turn."

"OK. I hope we'd cope."

"Two, she might object to him being in the same house with you and your boyfriend", Denise looked at her son, "You are going to tell her?"

"Give me time, Mum. We've been barely communicating. I'd sort of expected some sort of conversation when we collected Toby on Sunday. You know, at least a polite hello, this is Gordon. But she's just buggered off. I'm hardly going to send her a post-card, am I?"

Denise laughed, "Like those cards stuck up people used to send announcing their children's engagement."

Brian snorted, "Precisely. Can you imagine?"

The two started laughing.

---

"He seems to fit in doesn't he", Gordon looked over to Toby who was being conducted around the orchard by Gordon's Father.

Brian laughed, "That shirt."

After leaving Denise they had made a quick trip to the shops to stock up. Toby had been delighted to get the run of the wholefood store and the organic grocers. Half the stuff he wanted, Brian wouldn't know what to do with, but he allowed his arm to be twisted with the bulgar, which at least they had experience of, and agreed to wholemeal pasta, brown rice and a few other things. The breakfast cereals all looked a bit worthy, but they gave them a go, and stocked up on the nice bread.

Whilst Brian and Toby had done the shopping, Gordon had been mooching round the books and leaflets, and managed to pick up a few recipe cards which might help give Brian some ideas.

Then, with a rather emptier wallet than intended, they were off to buy clothes for Toby. Mainly school stuff, but a few other shirts and Toby had been allowed one choice of his own. His eye had alighted on a lurid Hawaiian number. So, here they were at Gordon's parents. Toby was proudly sporting his lurid new shirt, whilst Gordon's Father, Drew wearing baggy corduroy trousers, a dark green, much-patched shirt and a brightly coloured cravat which almost matched his wife, Evie's loose, free-style clothing. Everything here seemed home-made and hand-made, either by Drew or Evie or one of their friends. Home was a former mill building, which despite assurances that they had done it up, still seemed alarmingly ramshackle to Brian. Curtains, rugs, pottery, not to mention the art on the walls, was all hand done, there was even some sort of shrine to Frieda Kahlo in the down-stairs toilet. But it felt relaxed and welcoming. Brian did not have to have the same series of questions to answer, though he was aware that by the end of the visit, Gordon's parents knew almost as much about him as his Mum did about Gordon. Their methods were just different.

What Brian picked up on from the first, was that Gordon's Mother, Evie might be all ageing hippie and casual, but there was a fearfully organised side to her too. Lunch was planned precisely, with a casserole and roast vegetables in the oven, so that she spent the maximum time with her guests.

They were drinking wine, out of mis-matched pottery goblets, sitting outside the kitchen which was in the old mill house. There were a few pots with herbs in dotted around a paved area that separated off the studios, a pair of mis-matched long low structures at right angles where Evie and Drew worked. It had a comfortable, live-in feel, though Brian felt that maintaining it must be a nightmare.

Around, beside and behind stretched the orchard; full of trees planted long ago, it was still productive and was providing Toby with plenty of interest too. He was exploring the trees, being shown by a surprisingly amenable Drew.

"How do you find living with a teenager after all those years living in barracks?"

Gordon just shrugged, "We're getting used to it."

Brian rolled his eyes, "Toby's managed to catch us out a couple of times, wandering back from the bathroom in the nude. Habits die hard."

Evie shrugged, "Is that a problem?"

"Well, it feels a bit..."

"Oh come on", she smiled, "he's nearly 15 isn't he. I'm sure he can cope with seeing his Dad naked. And believe you me, if he has a problem with it, he'll soon tell you. This one did", and she ruffled Gordon's hair. He just rolled his eyes. "It sometimes felt as if we'd brought a changeling into the house. He liked everything neat and orderly, wanted set times and rules. Then he started liking boys", she looked at Brian's slightly worried reaction, "Oh, it wasn't a problem. It was just that, well, we didn't know anyone gay. Perhaps we scared them off, I don't know. It was all so different. So it was a bit of a surprise when he turned out not only to be gay, but to be keen on the Army Cadets at school." She shook her head.

"Mum, I think that that's enough with the reminiscences."

"Oh, but it's so lovely to have you home sweetie". She excused herself and went to check on the food.

"It's so funny. Like seeing another side to you. The little gay boy."

Gordon smiled, "Thank you."

Evie returned with wine to top them up, and Toby came running up.

"Grandpa Drew has been showing me the bugs in the trees here, and he knows someone who has bees."

Brian stared at Gordon and mouthed, 'Grandpa Drew', but Gordon simply rolled his eyes. "I think you'd better get your hands washed, sport, food will be ready soon and I don't think we want any bugs on the dinner table".

Toby pulled a face but went off happily enough. Gordon eyed his Father, "Grandpa Drew, where the hell did that come from?"

Drew smiled. In person he was as striking as his picture, with lively eyes and a bushy beard. "Well, he asked me what to call him. I suggested Uncle Drew might do, but he said that being as his Dad and Gordon were going to announce their engagement, that I was getting on for being his sort of Grandfather, so how about Grandpa Drew."

"Engaged?", Evie looked from Gordon to Brian.

Drew smiled, "Sounds a great idea to me, we haven't had a party in ages."

Gordon's eyes widened, "Bloody hell, that's the first I knew about it. Brian?"

Brian sighed, "I think I know where that came from. Mum and I were chatting yesterday, about how to tell everyone that Gordon and I were an item. Without making a big thing of it. She jokingly brought up the cards people used to send announcing their offspring's engagement."

Evie smiled, "Oh, I remember. Some of the girls did it. I thought it complete bollocks."

"So, no party?"

"Well....", Gordon looked uncertain.

"Do you fancy getting engaged?"

"And married! Isn't it a bit soon?"

"Oh, sweetie. You've been bonking this lovely man for what is it four years, and as far as I can gather you've both been faithful. What more do you want. Some of the women at college have daughters who have been engaged, married and divorced in that time."

Toby reappeared and stood to one side, as if aware that the conversation might not be aimed at him. Brian looked over at him, "What do you think, sport, should Gordon and I get engaged?"

"Engaged to be married, you mean?"

"Yes. Blokes can do that."

Drew nodded, "Makes a lot of sense, all the legal nonsense. Evie and I were thinking about not doing it legally, but then realised that it could really fuck things up if one of you was seriously ill or popped your clogs."

Evie nodded at this, whilst Toby's eyes widened at the way Drew's language remained colourful. "I think it would be nice. And it's easier to tell people that my Dad is getting engaged to his friend Gordon, rather than simply say that by the way, my Dad's gay."

"Boy's got a point", Drew's eyes sparkled, "what about it, and a party?"

"Drew", Evie sighed. "They probably don't know that many people, and they certainly don't want to party with all of your old cronies."

Drew scratched his beard, "Small party would still be fun. We've got plenty of that terrific 2019 in the cellar."

Gordon rolled his eyes and looked at Brian, "I'd probably better explain that whilst Dad's culinary talents are rather less than zero, he makes good wine. And 2019 proved a terrific year for Elderberry was it, Dad?"

"Elderflower, light, fragrant", and he gave an evil grin, "and bloody strong. Terrific party stuff."

"Leave the subject now, Drew. Let the boys think about it. Food is ready."

They ate in the kitchen which was a large room that stretched the width of the house. In complete contrast to Denise’s, which was clean, bright and practical having been modernised when Brian was young, this was a glorious mismatch of furniture with hardly a fitted unit beyond a few cupboards. Brian could just hear his Mother’s voice, wondering how Evie managed to keep the kitchen clean.

Inside, the house had clearly acquired layers and layers over the years, most of it made by Drew and Evie's friends. There were even pictures, hangings and decorative pottery in the kitchen, filling it with brightness and colour. Most of the pictures, and there were plenty of them all over the house, were rather too abstract for Brian's taste. But in the hallway, there was one startling picture. He found himself staring at it when Evie came to stand next to him.

"Drew, when he was slimmer and younger. We have nowhere else big enough to put it, so there he is." It was a painting of Drew, naked, full-length and full-frontal, almost life-size and in superb detail. "It isn't really to our taste, Marcus' style is far more realistic than we'd otherwise have", Evie shrugged eloquently, "but he is a friend, and it was present. Luckily the planned pair never materialised."

"Of you?"

"Mmm", she gave a small smile, "I'm not sure I could have faced that every morning, and besides where would we have put it?"

---

"Did you grow up with that picture of your Dad's willy in front of you all the time?"

Gordon grinned, "Yep. I told you they were different. My friends thought we were real weird. Gordy's huge picture of his Dad's willy", he shook his head.

"He's not bad looking, though."

"You never think that about your Dad, though, do you? Besides he's far too hairy for my taste."

"Toby asked me about that."

"What?"

"Why we you're shaved?"

"Bugger. Never thought about that. What did you say?"

"The truth. It was a bit of a surprise, so I just came out with the obvious. We prefer it that way, some guys like hairy guys, others like guys to be shaved. Different people get turned on by different things."

"And?"

Brian pulled a face, "I think, there will be more questions. Don't forget, weather permitting, we're skinny dipping in the week."

Evie appeared with coffee, they were back in the garden and Drew and Toby had returned to the orchard, "Skinny dipping, what fun. We've not done that in ages."

"Mum, I don't think..."

"Toby and I went skinny dipping at his cousin's cabin when I was last here, and he wants to do it again."

"The three of you?"

Brian waggled his head, "Yes."

"So, why worry about the bathroom issue?", Evie smiled.

"Well, it feels different."

Evie just stared at him and smiled.

"You're not going to join us skinny dipping?", Gordon seemed somewhat taken aback.

"Was that a question or a statement?", Evie continued smiling.

"I think you'd better ask Toby, don't you?" Brian was both amused and somewhat bewildered by the sheer idea.

"Before you do that, I'll check with Drew. He's got a couple of big jobs on and might not be able to spare the time and it doesn't do to second guess." Evie disappeared to find Drew.

"Is this really happening?", Brian looked at Gordon with disbelief.

Gordon grinned, "Welcome to my childhood. What do you think Toby will make of it?"

Brian shook his head, "Bugger knows. I'm just trying to imagine my Mum suggesting that sort of thing."

The two men were still laughing when Evie came back confirming Drew could be free. Toby reappeared from where he had been examining the insect life in and around the orchard trees. He was full of his discoveries, and had also managed to bring bits of grass, moss, leaf-mould and other material on his clothes.

Brian looked at his son, "We were chatting to Evie about our trip to cousin David's cabin and they might be able to join us to come skinny dipping one afternoon. What do you think?"

Toby looked from his father to Gordon and back, "Gordon's Mum and Dad?"

"Yeah, Evie suggested it and Drew is free. Fun or scary?"

"Am I allowed to say it would be scary?"

"Of course. Being naked is quite natural, but not everyone wants to see older folk naked."

"That's Drew in the picture in the hall?"

Gordon nodded, "Painted quite a time ago."

Toby looked thoughtful, "You two'd be there too?"

"Of course."

"OK. I think it would be fun."

Gordon smiled, "You realise that it'll probably be cold, and my Dad will insist on everyone going for a swim no matter what. That's what always used to happen."

"You used to do this regularly", Toby's eyes were wide.

"On holidays. We swam all over, including beaches in the North of Scotland in the freezing cold. You never had any choice."

"Cool."

It was much, much later before Gordon and Brian were able to have a quiet conversation together. Toby was in his bedroom, watching a documentary on his laptop, so they were able to sit quietly and talk through the day.

"What about the engagement thing?"

Gordon smiled, "Wow, that's romantic. Look don't let my parents bounce you into something. They can be a bit overwhelming at times, taking over."

"Your Dad and the party", Brian smiled. "I like the idea, of being engaged, but I think I'd like to wait, to let life back home settle."

"New house, new job, new family."

Brian looked wry, "Yeah. Don't want to fuck it up."

"That won't happen."

"But. But. But..."

Gordon nodded. "OK. And I think the same. Tell you what, how about we let Mum and Dad have a welcome party for us. That way Dad can invite his mates and we can meet up with a few of the old faces that we want."

"Brilliant idea.", Brian leaned over and kissed Gordon.

They were quiet for a bit. "What about the skinny dipping with my parents?"

"Well, it certainly takes the pervy sex idea out of it."

Gordon snorted, almost spraying his beer, "Bloody hell. Don't even go there. Sex with my parents is way, way too scary."

"Toby seemed to be cool with the idea?"

"Yeah, seeing that ridiculous painting of Dad helped, I think."

They were just getting cosy, snuggling up to each other and thinking about going further, when the door to Toby's room opened.

Brian smiled, "I think we've just said goodbye to any time alone till Toby goes back to school." Gordon simply gave a wry smile. Toby appeared.

"Good documentary?"

"Yeah, it was great. There's a book to go with it, and I was thinking of seeing if I could get it from the library."

"Worth giving it a go. If you can't get it, then let us know and we might be able to get a cheap copy off the internet."

"You mean buy it?"

"Of course."

"Cool. And I could keep it here?"

"Yes. No problem, you can put whatever you want the bedroom. It's your bedroom", Toby's eyes widened, "Well, in reason."

"Can I put some pictures up and stuff?"

"You might even be able to redecorate, if you ask Gordon here nicely."