Do you want a gay child?

[AFriendlyFace]

Hi all,

 

I was having a discussion with some friends earlier and it inspired me to create this poll. So simple question, would you want your son or daughter to be gay?

 

This is not assuming that if you have a straight or bisexual child that you'd want them to change, just imagine it if you don't already have a child or if your child's orientation is not yet clear.

 

Similarly, I didn't include the "I don't care choice". I'm assuming that the majority of people on this forum wouldn't care (however, please post if you would), so instead the questions are about pure preference.

 

 

My answer would be "yes". Obviously, I wouldn't care at all if my child were gay or straight, and I don't even have a particularly strong preference, but I'm a little bit more familiar with gay matters, it would probably help me continue to feel "linked" to the community as I got older, and in general I think it would be really sweet and cute. So yeah, I'm a definite yes on both accounts, but I really don't have a strong preference.

 

The only possible reason I could have for not wanting my son or daughter to be gay would be the whole "it would be easier for them if they were straight" thing. However, I'm assuming that by the time I have kids that'll be even less of an issue, and I don't think it's that big an issue nowadays anyway. For example I certainly don't feel like I was ever less popular, or less successful because of my orientation.

 

LOL, oddly enough I think I'd have an ever stronger preference for having a lesbian daughter. I mean if it were my son I'd probably think "well, I don't really care at all, but I kinda hope he's gay". If it were my daughter I'd probably be thinking "Ohhh! I really hope she's a lesbian!"

 

Hmm actually the more I think about it the more fun I think it would be to have a gay son. So maybe I don't have a stronger "lesbian daughter" bias after all.

 

Anyway what are your thoughts and why?

 

Just thought it would be a fun little poll,

Take care all and have a great day!

Kevin

Edited October 5, 2007 by AFriendlyFace

[rknapp]

You should include an "I don't care." option. I wouldn't say yes just because I wouldn't want my child to go through the bashing that still runs rampant, but I wouldn't say no just because that would feel hypocritical of my beliefs on homosexuality. I understand what you're striving for by omitting that option, but I'm not gonna answer the poll without it. I'm just gonna give my $0.02 anyway.

[colinian]

You should include an "I don't care." option.

 

I agree that there should be an "I don't care" option but I answered anyway. Answering "No" definitely means that it would not be OK with me if my child was lesbian or gay. I answered "Yes" meaning that it would be OK with me if my child was lesbian or gay, but I'm not saying that's my only choice. In other words, "I really don't care!"

 

Colin

[Ieshwar]

Well, I don't care btu in this poll, I said yes!

 

I mean, we guys know that living in a closet can be damn tough. So a gay son/gaughter won't have to worry and think "What will my dad(s) think?"

 

And I think it will be easier for me to give tips and pointers to my gay son. Can you see me telling my str8 son, "So isn't that girl a bomb?" :wacko: Ok, I'm just joking.

 

It's such a coincidence. My next anthology story features gay dad-gay son story. And as I said there, it would be easier for the teen to open up to his parents if he knows that they will understand.

 

Ieshwar

[Liddy]

I mean, we guys know that living in a closet can be damn tough. So a gay son/gaughter won't have to worry and think "What will my dad(s) think?"

 

And I think it will be easier for me to give tips and pointers to my gay son. Can you see me telling my str8 son, "So isn't that girl a bomb?" :wacko: Ok, I'm just joking.

 

Do you really think your gay son would want you to point out hot guys? I know my mother never did and I'm glad she didn't .

 

Back to topic:

 

Obviously I wouldn't care ...,

 

but I think I'd have a tendencie to having a gay son/daughter because I think, if the parents let the kids know they're ok with it, it can really create a family bond and help you get to know your kid better in a time that he/she doesn't want you to know him/her better.

I also noticed that through the whole coming-out process many guys/girls have gotten to know themselves better, or so it seems, and while that may be true for straight people also and is probably also a part of how they were brought up, I still think that (with the right surrounding (wouldn't want my child to be gay in Afganistan) and the support of the family (and with me as a mother my kid definitly WOULD have that)) this can create wonderful people that apreciate their differences and have a healthy self-confidence and an understanding of others.

 

I hope that makes sense.

 

Take care everybody,

Liddy

[Ieshwar]

I was just joking! My mom tries to find girls for me all over. Once we were in the bus and there was a girl on the road. She told me "Hey, look at that girl! Isn't she pretty?" (something like that...) The bad part was that she forgot that she was wearing earphone and that the whole bus heard that!

 

Sometimes it's funny, sometimes scary! I think I should tell her to look at the guys.

 

Ieshwar

[old bob]

I voted No to both questions, and I know what it means !

Think first of the interests and the wishes of your children and not yours.

Nobody choose to be gay or lesbian, neither my son (gay) nor my daughter (bi).

If I would be "rude", I would say : "stupid poll "

[AFriendlyFace]

I mean, we guys know that living in a closet can be damn tough. So a gay son/gaughter won't have to worry and think "What will my dad(s) think?"

 

Obviously I wouldn't care ...,

 

but I think I'd have a tendencie to having a gay son/daughter because I think, if the parents let the kids know they're ok with it, it can really create a family bond and help you get to know your kid better in a time that he/she doesn't want you to know him/her better.

I also noticed that through the whole coming-out process many guys/girls have gotten to know themselves better, or so it seems, and while that may be true for straight people also and is probably also a part of how they were brought up, I still think that (with the right surrounding (wouldn't want my child to be gay in Afganistan) and the support of the family (and with me as a mother my kid definitly WOULD have that)) this can create wonderful people that apreciate their differences and have a healthy self-confidence and an understanding of others.

VERY well said, Liddy!!

 

I was just joking! My mom tries to find girls for me all over. Once we were in the bus and there was a girl on the road. She told me "Hey, look at that girl! Isn't she pretty?" (something like that...) The bad part was that she forgot that she was wearing earphone and that the whole bus heard that!

Oh my!

 

I voted No to both questions, and I know what it means !

Think first of the interests and the wishes of your children and not yours.

Nobody choose to be gay or lesbian, neither my son (gay) nor my daughter (bi).

I'm actually rather surprised, Old Bob! I definitely respect your opinion, although personally I would disagree with the implication that nobody would choose for themselves to be gay or lesbian, and that being gay or lesbian wouldn't be in their best interests or their wishes. I've known quite a few gay/bi/lesbian people (myself included) who definitely wouldn't choose to be any other way if they could. I can also think of many ways in which it might benefit them (mostly relating to the ways Liddy already described).

 

Anyway, the answer will surely be different for each person

 

Take care all and have a great day!

Kevin

Edited October 5, 2007 by AFriendlyFace

[Meeko]

I voted Yes

 

But as a few others have already mentioned i think there should be a "I Don't Care" Button. To me id love my son or daughter, either way no matter what they are, becuase thats how i am, lovely and all haha. In a way i kinda feel like i already have a gay son (Bob) and i love it. The only part i don't like is the fact that i worry that he tells the wrong person... But thats life i guess, it happens.

 

-Mike

[AFriendlyFace]

I voted Yes

 

But as a few others have already mentioned i think there should be a "I Don't Care" Button.

LOL, but then everyone would have selected that option (including me) and we wouldn't actually find anything out!

To me id love my son or daughter, either way no matter what they are, becuase thats how i am, lovely and all haha.

LOL, aww yup, sounds like you for sure!

In a way i kinda feel like i already have a gay son (Bob) and i love it.

Awww

The only part i don't like is the fact that i worry that he tells the wrong person... But thats life i guess, it happens.

Yeah, I think this is something that a lot of parents and friends of GLBT people worry about. Heck, it's something I worry will happen to my friends.

[Meeko]

LOL, but then everyone would have selected that option (including me) and we wouldn't actually find anything out!

 

LOL, aww yup, sounds like you for sure!

 

Awww

 

Yeah, I think this is something that a lot of parents and friends of GLBT people worry about. Heck, it's something I worry will happen to my friends.

 

 

But it's apart of life i guess right? living each day and dealing with what comes with it.

 

-Mike

[kashka]

i honestly don't know what to answer here. obviously i wouldn't love my child any less if he or she was gay and i would do anything to support them (though i would lack your guys' experience ^^') but then i don't really know how it is to be a gay teen in my country.

i don't think it's easy, may the proof be that i don't know EVEN ONE gay person in real life. there were no gay bashings in my high school if only because there were no gays around. oh, i'm sure there were, but noone was out, noone taked about it, there was no topic. furniture shops must be making fortunes on all those closets...

what i know is that our current goverment leaders are all bigtos and would be happies if all homosexuals were 'converted' (or at least stayed in the closet forever and never raised a voice). can you imagine that if you are a teacher, even straight, you cannot be a member of any gay supporting organization? (our previous minister of education was the biggest bigot of them all). don't even try to come out if you are a teacher or have any other job that actually requires you to touch a kid (music or gym instructor for example). there's still lots of people for wchich homosexual (espacially male homosexual) equals pedofile. catholic country, huh...

 

well, things change, obviously, but i dunno if they'll change significantly enough by the time i have my own kids. i know that my friends are not gay haters (most of them know that i'm interested in reading gay fiction and drawing male/male pics and never said anything against it) but as i said i have no idea how it is to be gay here now.

(the influx of teen yaoi fangirls doesn't count. they're scary O_o)

 

but i do think that having a gay son would be kinda cool. i can totally imagne myself pointing a hot guy at him and say "what a cookie" (and totally embarrass my poor offspring in public XD). and hey, i can tell if a girl is hot (sth a straight guy will never say about other guy, i always wonder why...) so i can talk girls with a lesbian daughter too (i can even show her how to use a soldering iron )

whatever he or she will i would be happy for them and i'll try to be there if they need me. but i can't reply either yes or no in your poll ^^'

[old bob]

I would disagree with the implication that nobody would choose for themselves to be gay or lesbian, and that being gay or lesbian wouldn't be in their best interests or their wishes. Anyway, the answer will surely be different for each person Kevin

Hey Kevin,

We have both some problems to understand each others .

My answers (No, No) were to your question "do you want a gay child ?" I answered as a parent, not for myself.

Is also clear for me as for you. If I ask for myself : "choosing to be gay or not", after my personal experiences, I definitively answer Yes (as you do, and you are right )

Take care and be happy

Old Bob

[pitchan]

Well honestly speaking I don't care either way. I voted No for lesbian daughter and Yes for gay son. Not that I cant accept a girl is hot, I just know id rather have a gay son. But id love my children anyways wether they are gay or straight. Being straight I don't have any idea what being gay/lesbian means so I cant really advice my children though.

India is not a good place for people to be gay though. As i've seen TheBeastKid mention before, its actually against the law to have 'homosexual relationships'. A lot of people are homophobic as well (even my mom is to a extent). Best case scenario would be that my child is straight so it would be easier for them, but one cant change what was meant to be. If they are gay they are gay, and if they are straight they are straight. Nothing can really change that. And as I said earlier I would love them regardless of their sexual orientation.

[Menzoberranzen]

Like so many others, I don't particularly care however, if given the choice to determine my child's sexuality, I would choose gay. It's hard for straight parent's to identify with their gay child, and I imagine the reverse is true as well. It would be easier for me to help a kid through the issues of being gay than the issues of being straight.

 

Menzo

 

PS I'd rather not have children at all, though

[BeaStKid]

For me...It doesn't make any difference either way. But since I had to vote for either 'Yes' or 'No', I voted for No in the daughter category and Yes in the Son category.

 

Don't ask me why, but this is how I feel. I guess it is because I am not all that familiar with lesbianism.

[sat8997]

I chose not to vote in this poll but I do have some thoughts on the subject.

 

Obviously, considering my involvement here, I have no problem with whether my kids are gay or straight. But if I was to choose one answer over the other then it in some way implies that I

[old bob]

I chose not to vote in this poll but I do have some thoughts on the subject. That

[Graeme]

I chose not to vote in this poll but I do have some thoughts on the subject.

 

...

 

I

[wildone]

As for the poll results so far, what I found interesting is the dichotomy between the sexes in the voting. Why are more people voting 'yes' for one sex over the other?

 

I too was wondering the same thing, but I guess the answer is in "who" the question is being asked to. If it was asked to all hetrosexual married couples, don't you think that the majority of both questions would be no? Now ask that question to gay men, and you will have a lot who say a yes to the gay son, but no to the lesbian daughter, but only because they are not exactly familiar with the lesbian lifestyle (I'll admit, I'm one).

 

Now if you asked of Lesbian women, I would guess that they would be slightly more okay with the daughter than the son for the same reason.

 

Lastly, what would be interesting if you asked just parents of GLBT kids, what the answer would be, remembering some parents accept it, and some totally reject it.

 

I don't care for the poll myself, but have really enjoyed the posts saying why they voted the way they did.

 

Thanks Kevin

 

Steve

[JamesSavik]

How about the hates kids, will feed them to wolves option?

 

Not me of course. Whenever I see kids, I have to restrain myself from hugging them.

 

Kids know an easy mark when they see one. I spoil them mercilessly.

 

I do like kids and would love to have one (or three) regardless of their gender of orientation.

 

Anyone that can't love a kid unconditionally shouldn't have any.

[Jason Rimbaud]

Err, Kevin, your poll is nice and all but you left out a very important option. For the longest time, mostly through my teens and early twenties, I thought the only perk to being gay was that two boys could not get one another pregnant. Just the idea of having kids, gay or straight, makes me feel all nauseous inside. So much so, that I couldn't even take your poll.

 

Years later, and now I know of two perks that goes along with being gay, no kids, and well...I'll keep it rated G.

 

I did find the results of this poll interesting though. Thankfully, this is a question I'll never have to answer.

 

Jason R.

[Krista]

Hey,

 

I voted for No. The poll gears more towards a preference and as far as a preference goes I'd rather my kids be straight. I know that sounds a bit harsh, but it's honest.. lol. Caring or not caring and then preferring is a totally different thing. I would love my children the same gay, bi, or straight. I am extremely accepting of gay cultures and such. I wouldn't prefer them to be gay. I'd rather them grow into whatever they grow into with my guiding and parenting, etc.

 

 

Krista

[glomph]

I had trouble voting because I don't much like hypothetical kids.

 

I often like and enjoy being around real ones, however, and that pretty much means taking them as they are.

[Menzoberranzen]

How about the hates kids, will feed them to wolves option?

 

Not me of course. Whenever I see kids, I have to restrain myself from hugging them.

 

Kids know an easy mark when they see one. I spoil them mercilessly.

 

I do like kids and would love to have one (or three) regardless of their gender of orientation.

 

Anyone that can't love a kid unconditionally shouldn't have any.

 

Unconditional love is an interesting concept. I think my live for a child would only stretch so far if s/he turned out to be a sadistic murderer.'

 

Even if you would love the child the same either way, you can still have a preference. The common example is the gender; many people want a girl/boy, but those who get the other still love the child the same.

 

Menzo