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Posted

Another great chapter :D

 

 

but still no resolve when it comes to Dimitri

 

 

going to post more later.

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Posted

Wow, great chapter, and thanks CJ :worship: .

 

After all that has been going on, I kind of felt this was one of the first optimistic chapters in a while.

 

Things are starting to fall into place, and the air force seems to be on the right track. I'm glad that Eric recalled things from Australia regarding the speakers and especially the box in New York. With the General deploying units to LA, San Fransisco, and New York, it is looking good that the bombs will be discovered.

 

Unfortunately they have all been rigged with anti tamper devices, so I'd say that is the greatest threat right now.

 

I'm glad that everyone feels the same about Gunters passing. Unfortunately with all that is going on, I'm sure it will hit them all later.

 

Thanks again CJ

 

Steve B)

Posted

Great story CJ, the chapter had some good tension and some well-deserved string pulling from a certain general. By the way, I have a knack for guessing at pivotal plot devices and I think (spoilers):

 

Dimitri's knowledge of Scar's operation in South America will help out a lot and not to mention his private control of a nuclear device in LA, which I think can be stopped by a high powered shotgun, hehe, I see your connections now from the other chapter. This is going to get messy and Dimitri will provide the final pieces of the puzzle to take down Jerry/Scar either dead or alive.

 

Posted

Great chapter, CJ. The Air Force is on top of things. It will be interesting to see if Dimitri can be identified and apprehended.

 

At the risk of appearing immodest (or breaking my arm by patting myself on the back), I feel compelled to point out the following:

Disputed Authority. Hmm...I see General Bradson having a turf battle with the local Barney.

If I'm beginning to think like CJ, I'm creeping myself out.

Posted (edited)
Great chapter, CJ. The Air Force is on top of things. It will be interesting to see if Dimitri can be identified and apprehended.

 

At the risk of appearing immodest (or breaking my arm by patting myself on the back), I feel compelled to point out the following:

 

If I'm beginning to think like CJ, I'm creeping myself out.

 

 

I think he might go and call Jerry back up, I don't think he'll be find alive, either he kills the band or dies by instinct or the military.

 

Edited by Drewbie
Posted

This was certainly an interesting chapter. I hope this means that they're closing in on Jerry/Scar! I also could not help but notice a certain Deputy Sheriff was named Tim. :P

Posted

I think that this was a good chapter (with a small cliffhanger at the end B) ). CJames is wrapping up this story beautifully and I can't wait to see what happens in the next.

 

 

Mario's out for the count, I wonder who's gonna be next (and yes I was wrong about who would die... so leave me and my rantings alone lol

 

 

also dimitri... who knows

 

Great Job as always Goatmaster!

Posted

Hey CJ. With all you had to go through to get this chapter posted on-time the first thing I want to do is thank you for your devotion to your fans.

 

As others have said it's nice to see something positive happening at last.

 

I loved how the General came in and took charge.

 

The "local barney" was an absolute joke. Good call on that one Mike. thumbs-up.gif

 

So, this week's cliffhanger is that Dimitri is still out there somewhere and nobody bothered to mention him. I wonder what's gonna come of that? shrug.gif

Posted

Dimitri still has a nuke out there for LA remember, mwuhahaahahahahaha. This could get tense really quick.

Posted
Things are starting to fall into place, and the air force seems to be on the right track. I'm glad that Eric recalled things from Australia regarding the speakers and especially the box in New York. With the General deploying units to LA, San Fransisco, and New York, it is looking good that the bombs will be discovered.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the general send the squad to Madison Square Garden while the bomb is in fact in Grand Central Station (no wait, that's not right either...it's that other station that would really be grander than grand central).

 

Dimitri's knowledge of Scar's operation in South America will help out a lot and not to mention his private control of a nuclear device in LA, which I think can be stopped by a high powered shotgun, hehe, I see your connections now from the other chapter. This is going to get messy and Dimitri will provide the final pieces of the puzzle to take down Jerry/Scar either dead or alive.

Great points! Especially about the shotgun. That's probably why that was mentioned in the chapter with the first explosion in which Vladimir decided to hurl his wrench at it.

 

Great chapter, CJ. The Air Force is on top of things. It will be interesting to see if Dimitri can be identified and apprehended.

 

At the risk of appearing immodest (or breaking my arm by patting myself on the back), I feel compelled to point out the following:

 

If I'm beginning to think like CJ, I'm creeping myself out.

Well done, Mike! :)

 

I think he might go and call Jerry back up, I don't think he'll be find alive, either he kills the band or dies by instinct or the military.

...or bikers ;)

 

I'm not sure if Dimitri will call Jerry. I suspect at this point it might be a bit harder to do that logistically without divulging security related details. Granted I'm sure Dimitri has some means of communicating with Jerry, but it's probably going to be more difficult now that he's stuck on foot without the Suburban.

 

Mario's out for the count, I wonder who's gonna be next (and yes I was wrong about who would die... so leave me and my rantings alone lol

Is he?

 

We don't actually know that for sure. Don't get me wrong, I actually think so too, but let me just point out that all we really know is that Helen and the boys can't identify the body, Dimitri is alive, and Dimitri assumes that Mario is dead.

 

For all the people proposing that it's some mysterious, unknown 3rd entity it still theoretically could be, and maybe CJ will shock us all by starting the next chapter by focusing on Mario crouched behind a different set of bushes.

 

As I said, I don't believe it either, but I'm just pointing out that nothing is absolutely conclusive on the point yet.

 

Dimitri still has a nuke out there for LA remember, mwuhahaahahahahaha. This could get tense really quick.

Ya know, we really should taken that whole "Dimitri has access to a Nuke" thing into consideration when trying to decide who'd been killed. In terms of plot/story development it made it much less likely that it was Dimitri.

 

 

Anyway, great chapter, CJ :)

 

I very much enjoyed it,

Kevin

Posted
Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the general send the squad to Madison Square Garden while the bomb is in fact in Grand Central Station (no wait, that's not right either...it's that other station that would really be grander than grand central).

 

Penn station actually well whats left of it. Madison Square Garden was built over the sub basement of Penn Station

Posted
Penn station actually well whats left of it. Madison Square Garden was built over the sub basement of Penn Station

Thanks! That is what I was trying to remember, and in that case it is good that they're going to Madison Square Garden :*)

Posted

I'll comment more later, I've got to run, but just a fast note to say Sorry: I made at least two goofs in this chapter, both serious.

One was the addition of the word "carried" when they were checking Mario's body for keys. It's gone now. (and thanks very much to the person who spotted that!).

 

Worse, is the "Tim" in the chapter. There were two mentions, both gone now. That was Brody's original name in the outline and part of the draft. I decided that name didn't fit for a biker, so I changed it. I guess find-replace missed two. Sorry!!!

CJ :)

Posted
One was the addition of the word "carried" when they were checking Mario's body for keys. It's gone now. (and thanks very much to the person who spotted that!).

ahh then clearly my theory about Mario still being alive is incorrect :boy:

Posted (edited)
I'll comment more later, I've got to run, but just a fast note to say Sorry: I made at least two goofs in this chapter, both serious.

One was the addition of the word "carried" when they were checking Mario's body for keys. It's gone now. (and thanks very much to the person who spotted that!).

 

Worse, is the "Tim" in the chapter. There were two mentions, both gone now. That was Brody's original name in the outline and part of the draft. I decided that name didn't fit for a biker, so I changed it. I guess find-replace missed two. Sorry!!!

CJ :)

 

Jim stepped forward and was about to speak, but Brody beat him to it as he strolled up to McClatchity and said,
Edited by Drewbie
Posted (edited)
Is he?

 

We don't actually know that for sure. Don't get me wrong, I actually think so too, but let me just point out that all we really know is that Helen and the boys can't identify the body, Dimitri is alive, and Dimitri assumes that Mario is dead.

 

For all the people proposing that it's some mysterious, unknown 3rd entity it still theoretically could be, and maybe CJ will shock us all by starting the next chapter by focusing on Mario crouched behind a different set of bushes.

 

As I said, I don't believe it either, but I'm just pointing out that nothing is absolutely conclusive on the point yet.

 

B) ............Ah but Kevin, why would Mario's name pop up all over the place in this chapter when no one knows who he is? The body is Mario, the goat may be known for some minor misdirection at times :rolleyes: , but I think he has enough twist & turns in this story without adding some mysteryman armed with the same type of weapon Mario was carrying and storming the house with the same intent in mind.

 

As they climbed into their SUV, McClatchity heard one of the bikers yell, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"

 

B).........CJ, I see ya'll got the right spelling on this.

 

But what will Dimitri do? Clearly he has to abort the assassination attempt, he is greatly out numbered and with the bikers thinking they saw another man out there, the further away he can get the better. Maybe he will run into the ranting deputy and lend him a sympathetic ear, kill him, wear his uniform and try to bomb the ranch house? The General seems to be continuing to make mistakes he should have called for some special forces to comb the area and add security.

 

Great Chapter CJ, so what's the title of the next chapter??

Edited by Benji
Posted
As they climbed into their SUV, McClatchity heard one of the bikers yell, "Ya'll come back now, ya hear?"

 

CJ, I see ya'll got the right spelling on this.

CJ knows the correct spelling; the biker must be from Texas.

Posted
I'll comment more later, I've got to run, but just a fast note to say Sorry: I made at least two goofs in this chapter, both serious.

One was the addition of the word "carried" when they were checking Mario's body for keys. It's gone now. (and thanks very much to the person who spotted that!).

 

Worse, is the "Tim" in the chapter. There were two mentions, both gone now. That was Brody's original name in the outline and part of the draft. I decided that name didn't fit for a biker, so I changed it. I guess find-replace missed two. Sorry!!!

CJ :)

I thought he was somehow based upon me. :P Anyway, I actually do agree about the biker thing. I don't know any Tims who are bikers. :P

Posted

It would not be likely for Dimitri to pretend to be a deputy and succeed; don't forget the kids saw him with Scar/Jerry in Australia. Although, he could try the plan and be tricked into being held hostage by the band, their manager, and 50 or so bikers with an intent to kill some one for what just happened, hehe. That idea would make one interesting scene, I wonder what types of torture techniques the kids and bikers would use to force information out of Dimitri; nothing sadistic.

Posted
It would not be likely for Dimitri to pretend to be a deputy and succeed; don't forget the kids saw him with Scar/Jerry in Australia. Although, he could try the plan and be tricked into being held hostage by the band, their manager, and 50 or so bikers with an intent to kill some one for what just happened, hehe. That idea would make one interesting scene, I wonder what types of torture techniques the kids and bikers would use to force information out of Dimitri; nothing sadistic.

Why not? :devil: Whatever works y'all. ;)

Posted
It would not be likely for Dimitri to pretend to be a deputy and succeed; don't forget the kids saw him with Scar/Jerry in Australia. Although, he could try the plan and be tricked into being held hostage by the band, their manager, and 50 or so bikers with an intent to kill some one for what just happened, hehe. That idea would make one interesting scene, I wonder what types of torture techniques the kids and bikers would use to force information out of Dimitri; nothing sadistic.

 

 

B) ...........Although I agree it would be an unlikely scenerio, I couldn't think of any way Dimitri accomplish his mission now. Hummmmm, Torture?? I guess the band could sing to him, I'm sure the bikers could come up with something..........perhaps hogtie him blindfolded and leave him with a love-crazed goat. I'm sure the Military would step in to save poor Dimitri....afterall national security spells waterboard.

Posted
B) ...........Although I agree it would be an unlikely scenerio, I couldn't think of any way Dimitri accomplish his mission now. Hummmmm, Torture?? I guess the band could sing to him, I'm sure the bikers could come up with something..........perhaps hogtie him blindfolded and leave him with a love-crazed goat. I'm sure the Military would step in to save poor Dimitri....afterall national security spells waterboard.

Man oh man. Talk about sadistic. I didn't think you had it in you Benji. WTG my friend! two-thumbs-up.gif

Posted

Hi CJ

:worship: wow :worship:

was too busy in the last few weeks and came just now to read chapters 28 to 41.

I have nothing more to say to what I told you allready in my comments about all your stories.

Just a suggestion : you have Gold in your hands !

You should contact an agent or an editor. You have to be published.

Do you want me to search one for you, accustomed to publish stories of young gay men (no porn !!) ?

I have some contacts.

I can't imagine how you organize your data base with all the researches you had to do for all the technical, geographical and military details you bring in each chapter. Are you really working alone, with no specialized help for you researches ?

I dont want to bring a new comment after each chapter, I just want to say how much I appreciate your writing. It apply to all your works :worship:

Old bob


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