[Tiff] No Fairytale World

[Cynical Romantic]

Awww. These chapters give me the warm-and-fuzzies. Really. I know this is called "No Fairytale World", and things aren't exactly easy for these guys (especially Pete), but the growth of their relationship is just so sweet and so nice to see.

 

Minor critique: These characters are all so self-aware and open about their feelings with one another, I'm finding it stretches the believability a little bit. Most people are dumbasses when it comes to themselves and discussing the important stuff and getting their own heads on straight, and these guys should, by all rights, be more messed up than most. While you as the writer and us as the readers get the benefit of having a deeper understanding of their motivations, I do find it a bit unlikely that they would be so aware of them and expressive of them and, frankly, psychologically healthy.

 

But really, that's just minor criticism. This is a nice respite from stories with frustrating characters, and it's nice to see them making such good progress. And this is such a contrast from your dark and disturbing short stories, too. I know you can write dark and disturbing like nobody else, so it's nice to see you consciously making a choice to let the sunshine in on these characters a little.

 

Keep it coming!

Edited November 19, 2008 by Cynical Romantic

[YaP]

Chapter 13 and Chapter 14 are up !

So, time to grab a cup of tea (or cacao or coffee or whatever you like ;-)) and find out whats happening with Andy and Pete :-)

[Drewbie]

yay more no fairytale world.

 

Haha cradle robber line and a nice early birthday present for pete

 

 

now about this rob guy , Pete should tell Andy what happened if he doesn't get rescued. sighs. if Andy does fine what rob has done like go into that bathroom, hopefully he wouldn't think Pete was doing it for fun.

 

Edited December 16, 2008 by Drewbie

[Mikie]

Not done reading yet, but so far so good.

 

I just had to point out that this is SO romantic sounding

 

They jumped onto the bed and bounced around, their mouths meeting again, their hands grabbing at the other

[Verm]

Oh god I was almost in tears at the end of Chapter 14. I almost couldn't bear to read it!

 

Excellent job

[Puppster]

Oh god I was almost in tears at the end of Chapter 14. I almost couldn't bear to read it!

 

Excellent job

 

It just makes me angry for Pete, I know he's not in control of his emotions. I know he's afraid and gonna let it happen, but deep deep deep down I know something will happen. He'll grab Rob and rip his balls off, or Cameron will come knocking on the door. Come on Pete!

[Verm]

It just makes me angry for Pete, I know he's not in control of his emotions. I know he's afraid and gonna let it happen, but deep deep deep down I know something will happen. He'll grab Rob and rip his balls off, or Cameron will come knocking on the door. Come on Pete!

 

I feel the same way too. But then, this is no fairytale world (yay pun). Something's bound to go bad.

[Puppster]

I feel the same way too. But then, this is no fairytale world (yay pun). Something's bound to go bad.

 

Yeah, but to much has gone bad for Pete. It's time for some FAIRY magic!

[Cynical Romantic]

The new chapters were good. Nice reads. Very sweet until the end, when we have angst again. Does it make me sick and twisted to be relieved to have the angst again after all the sweetness and light? If it does, well, I make no apologies; Tiff writes dark and disturbing like nobody else.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Cynical Romantic

[Tiff]

yay more no fairytale world.

 

Haha cradle robber line and a nice early birthday present for pete

 

 

now about this rob guy , Pete should tell Andy what happened if he doesn't get rescued. sighs. if Andy does fine what rob has done like go into that bathroom, hopefully he wouldn't think Pete was doing it for fun.

Thanks for commenting, Drewbie!

 

I think Andy knows Pete and his issues well enough by now, so that he won't assume anything on Pete's part.

 

 

Not done reading yet, but so far so good.

 

I just had to point out that this is SO romantic sounding. I know, I'm a sap. Haha. But just had to point that out.

Hey!

 

Actually, that was one of my favorite lines of the chapter, or overall story. It was a simple line, but definitely implied romance, tenderness, etc. Thanks for commenting.

 

 

It just makes me angry for Pete, I know he's not in control of his emotions. I know he's afraid and gonna let it happen, but deep deep deep down I know something will happen. He'll grab Rob and rip his balls off, or Cameron will come knocking on the door. Come on Pete!

LOL...I love your need for violence. Well that scene with Rob and Pete can only go one of two ways, so you'll find out what happens in 15, which is the last chapter, btw.

 

Yeah, but to much has gone bad for Pete. It's time for some FAIRY magic!

I like the whole pun thing. LOL. And I totally agree with you. Thanks for commenting.

 

The new chapters were good. Nice reads. Very sweet until the end, when we have angst again. Does it make me sick and twisted to be relieved to have the angst again after all the sweetness and light? If it does, well, I make no apologies; Tiff writes dark and disturbing like nobody else.

I definitely don't think you're sick and twisted because you're happy to see some angtsy, moody stuff. If anyone is sick and twisted, it's me! Look who comes up with this stuff.

 

And thanks for the dark and disturbing comment. I feel oddly flattered, although not sure if it's good to be an author who writes a lot on the very creepy, deep, dark themes. Some people might get scared of me, or what goes on inside this head....

 

Thanks for commenting. Appreciate it as always.

[Drewbie]

Aren't we all sick and twisted in our own ways?

 

And your welcome Tiff, looking forward to the next chappy.

Edited January 2, 2009 by Drewbie

[YaP]

Chapter 15 which also contains the epilogue is up !

And yes, thats the last chapter :-( but everything has to come to an end at some time ;-)

 

Great work Tiff !!

[Drewbie]

Just finished reading it ... I wasn't expecting Pete's reaction with rob. and he had visions of his mom, was this also someone he knew from way back then? I think last chapter He met rob's roommate when he ran away.

 

I think Telling Cameron about what happend and with his fight with Rob also helped pete and he now more happy I love the ending..

 

Well done!

Edited January 5, 2009 by Drewbie

[sat8997]

<sigh> I always hate when the good ones end. Great job Tiff!

[Verm]

A very good ending to a very good story.

 

I'm masculine enough to admit I almost cried.

[Mikie]

umm one word: Amazing.

 

Yes.

 

Anyways, I really liked this story, Tiff. Great ending. I'm not one for epilogues, but it worked very well for this story I thought.

 

Great work, and I can't wait to read more of your work.

 

~Mikie

[Meeko]

Dont say its so, awwww now what am I gonna read? BOOOOOO

 

Great story Tiff, freakin loved it.

But you knew that...

 

-Mike

[Sir Galahad]

Truly, truly amazing story. Phew, was like riding a roller-coaster, lots of ups & downs, drama & scary moments. Really was a wonderful read & great ending.

Thanks for sharing.

[Tiff]

Truly, truly amazing story. Phew, was like riding a roller-coaster, lots of ups & downs, drama & scary moments. Really was a wonderful read & great ending.

Thanks for sharing.

Hey there!

 

This was my second series and my attempt at writing something a little darker and deeper with more emotional depth. I'm glad you considered it a rollercoaster with a lot of drama and scary moments. I guess I achieved my goals with this piece in that case.

 

Thanks for reading and commenting!