virginity n gay

[FrenchCanadian]

My bf had an interesting discussion at work,,, I'll ask the same question; if a gay guy never been with the oposite sex, is he a virgin? If so, is a straight guy who hasn't been with a guy also a virgin?

[Benji]

My bf had an interesting discussion at work,,, I'll ask the same question; if a gay guy never been with the oposite sex, is he a virgin? If so, is a straight guy who hasn't been with a guy also a virgin?

 

 

.................LOL, that one won't keep me awake at night! A virgin is a virgin, having any sex cures that.

Edited September 1, 2008 by Benji

[Drewbie]

I really don't think so you "gave that part away" doesn't matter which sex, but in a sense you haven't had sex with a girl maybe but the core of losing virginity doens't matter which sex it is.

[AFriendlyFace]

My bf had an interesting discussion at work,,, I'll ask the same question; if a gay guy never been with the oposite sex, is he a virgin? If so, is a straight guy who hasn't been with a guy also a virgin?

 

 

My opinion, no, that's ridiculous. Obviously it all depends on how you define 'sex', but any definition which doesn't include both gay and straight intercourse is obviously very limited and bias.

[myself_i_must_remake]

yeah i think the issue here is from the tendency to couple the idea of a pleasant first time with the loss of virginity.

 

you can make an argument for rape, but let's say straight guys get experimental and do it to each other, sorry they're not virgins anymore, even if it isn't what they wanted their first time to be like. sex is sex.

[Tiger]

I strongly agree with Kevin on this one. Sex is sex. That's all there is to it. I am probably not ever going to have intercourse with a woman. That doesn't mean that I'm virginal. Hell, some gay men have sex with a whole hell of a lot more guys than straight men do women, but that is another subject altogether.

[Tipdin]

Having sex, regardless of the sexes involved is still having sex. Losing one's virginity can only happen once, sorry. Wish it was otherwise! First times can be REALLY fun! ...let's see, can I even remember that far back?

[LongGone]

There is no cure for virginity. Once you lose it, it stays lost. Doesn't matter what gender the person is.

[Sir Galahad]

Yup, with the majority on this, once you have sex with someone from either gender it's gone. Unless your a born again virgin. Wonder how that works?? lol.

[Mark Arbour]

But what counts as "sex"? Is a hand job sex? What about oral sex? Or does it have to be anal or vaginal sex? And does it matter if you're giving or getting a hand job, blow job or anal/vaginal penetration.

[Krista]

But what counts as "sex"? Is a hand job sex? What about oral sex? Or does it have to be anal or vaginal sex? And does it matter if you're giving or getting a hand job, blow job or anal/vaginal penetration.

 

 

I would say.. "mutual masturbation" doesn't lose a person virginity.. gay or straight. But oral sex and penetration sex does and it doesn't matter who is the receiver, giver.

[Tipdin]

I guess I'm old school. If you've got your lips, or hand wrapped around some guys big 'ol, you-know-what, either blowin or jackin, that's sex.

 

NOT THAT THAT'S A BAD THING....

 

But everyone needs to draw their own line.

 

I used to know a male couple who were both in their eighties. One of them had never gotten a good schtupping from his partner so does that mean he died a virgin? Lips and hands don't count?

 

Gee, I wonder if I could convince my partner of that....hmmm.

[Emulated]

But what counts as "sex"? Is a hand job sex? What about oral sex? Or does it have to be anal or vaginal sex? And does it matter if you're giving or getting a hand job, blow job or anal/vaginal penetration.

I'd say that all of the above are "sex", but personally I think that only penetrative sex would void your virginity.

 

But we're all right in a way, it depends on what you define as "sex".

 

*Of course if you've done everything then you need not worry about the technicalities.

[Mark M]

Just want to say that i think Anal, or Vaginal Sex is your cherry....but then i also think it's to having an actual experience where either you or your partner get Off, because frankly if you stick a dick in a girl once and leave job done, i don't think you lost your virginity buddy...same with anal with another guy....lol

[AFriendlyFace]

But what counts as "sex"? Is a hand job sex? What about oral sex? Or does it have to be anal or vaginal sex? And does it matter if you're giving or getting a hand job, blow job or anal/vaginal penetration.

Interesting, I was just having this conversation with some friends the other night.

 

I would say.. "mutual masturbation" doesn't lose a person virginity.. gay or straight. But oral sex and penetration sex does and it doesn't matter who is the receiver, giver.

Krista's definition is more or less similar to my own. Though I'm iffy on whether or not I consider oral sex to be full out sex. Basically, I don't, but I'm fine with other people considering it as such. I would probably qualify it as *oral* sex and not just say "sex".

 

However I think all of that is mostly irrelevant because:

 

But everyone needs to draw their own line.

 

Exactly!

 

Basically, as far as I'm concerned to me sex in the strictest sense is anal or vaginal. Obviously that's not exactly "fair" to lesbians for example though. Does that mean I think all lesbians are virgins? Of course not! I think sex itself is pretty relative. For me other sexual contact isn't considered full out sex, but that doesn't mean I have a problem with other people classifying it as such.

 

I would say that things like oral, rimming, frottage, mutual masturbation, etc. is a form of sex, and is sexual contact, but I wouldn't say it's actually sex.

 

Does that mean that I think I (or someone else with a similar definition) could 'find a loophole' in a relationship by only engaging in these activities and avoiding the ones I consider full out sex? NO, not at all. Because personally I define fidelity and monogamy as avoiding any sexual activities with someone other than your partner. The above are certainly sexual activities even if they aren't "sex".

 

That said, I actually think something like making out is a "sexual activity" though certainly not "sex" and certainly not on the same level as those other "secondary sexual activities" ('secondary' by my definition). I do think it's ludicrous for someone to define making out/kissing as "sex" and I couldn't really get behind that definition, even for other people, but I do consider it sexual in general. Therefore, I personally would consider making out/sexual kissing to be "cheating".

 

However, on a side note, I think fidelity and monogamy are similarly relative and subjective. I define them in a fairly strict way which precludes any sexual contact. However, I would be completely fine with intense emotional experiences with other people, which to many would be more threatening than the sex. I thus understand that some couples may choose to define their concept of monogamy such that it could include acceptance of any and all outside sexual contact, but may preclude any intense emotional experiences. That's fine, it's all about the people in the relationship figuring out what will make them both feel happy and fulfilled as a couple and as individuals and then honouring that agreement.

 

Anyway, getting back to the primary subject at hand, I guess I really think that sex can be defined subjectively by each individual/couple as any sexual activity they like, as long as that activity is indeed "sexual" and can theoretically and reasonably be expected to lead to orgasm if it persists and heightens. I don't think the people involved need to necessarily actually climax, but I think the theoretical, reasonable potential should exist.

Edited March 13, 2009 by AFriendlyFace

[zland666]

Well if you can't tell by just that lol. You could always ask that person? Like in Mean girls when she says

"I was half a virgin when i met him." to answer the hand job if that makes you a virgin or not...

[JamesSavik]

If you are young and cute and a virgin, it's by choice.

 

Otherwise... it's an epic fail

 

[Cia]

Of course you would come out with that comment James. Totally funny!

 

 

I guess I have a wider view of sex. Sexual contact = sex = loss of virginity, no matter what the sex of the person is. I think the 'typical' societal perception is penetrative is the only thing that counts but I have some arguements against that. Say you have a threesome and one parter does not penetrate but is involved in touching of personal parts and there is orgasm (ejaculation or not depending on gender, I'm leaving that open). Would you consider only the 2 people who had penetrative sex to have had sex? I have to say imo, I think if 2 or more people have involved, consensual intimate contact that results in sexual pleasure or orgasm that is considered sex. Think of it this way as well, if your partner got a hand job or gave one would you consider it cheating or would the excuse, it's not like we had sex, apply?

Edited February 16, 2010 by Cia

[Tarin]

Virginity is a concept held in the mind of an individual, molded by the collective opinion of society/environment/nurturing/culture/whatever. If you consider yourself a virgin, you are. If you were raped, that doesn't mean you are not a virgin, even though sexual penetration occurred.

 

Most people do draw the line at either consensual oral sex or consensual intercourse. I, however, like to view it as a sum of the parts. I've been a bottom, so I've lost that part of my virginity; I've never topped, so I still have that part.

 

If someone wants to call themselves a "homo-virgin" or a "hetero-virgin" then I say let them.

 

 

[Arpeggio]

Hmmm, in my opinion, first penetrated sex (give or take) is virginity loss, no questions asked. I don't count oral sex. Hehe. I don't have a problem with people saying they are half virgins, quarter virgins, or 99.99% virgin, UNLESS they want to do the naughty with me.

 

Only because it's deceitful and manipulative to tell me they are still somewhat a virgin. I need to know if they had done the DONE! D:

 

No glove no love.

Edited February 17, 2010 by Arpeggio

[JamesSavik]

he's been flogged like a sailor, disciplined like a dog, had more facials than a fashion model, swallowed cream by the bucket-load but he's still a virgin

 

...or more like an ass-hat because he told someone he's a virgin?

[writeincode]

I'm basically with Kevin on this one. Except I totally consider an emotional connection cheating as well. My boyfriend and I included flirting (without beneficial purpose- ie. getting out of a parking/dvd fine) in the definition of cheating for our relationship. I have a friend though who says nothing but sex counts but she still would be a little mad while I would be livid! So to each his own.

 

To throw something else in the mix- I have another friend who when we were younger said she was a virgin but that she had had anal. So the question is- 'is anal a virginity loss thing for girls too?'

 

he's been flogged like a sailor, disciplined like a dog, had more facials than a fashion model, swallowed cream by the bucket-load but he's still a virgin

 

...or more like an ass-hat because he told someone he's a virgin?

[Cia]

I'm basically with Kevin on this one. Except I totally consider an emotional connection cheating as well. My boyfriend and I included flirting (without beneficial purpose- ie. getting out of a parking/dvd fine) in the definition of cheating for our relationship. I have a friend though who says nothing but sex counts but she still would be a little mad while I would be livid! So to each his own.

 

To throw something else in the mix- I have another friend who when we were younger said she was a virgin but that she had had anal. So the question is- 'is anal a virginity loss thing for girls too?'

 

 

 

 

As one of the girls, I have to say I never considered anal sex a 'virgin' thing. If you've had sex, you've had sex. I guess you can still be tested and 'technically' be a virgin physically but yeesh, talk about semantics and splitting hairs.

[KJames]

Hmmm, in my opinion, first penetrated sex (give or take) is virginity loss, no questions asked. I don't count oral sex. Hehe. I don't have a problem with people saying they are half virgins, quarter virgins, or 99.99% virgin, UNLESS they want to do the naughty with me.

 

Only because it's deceitful and manipulative to tell me they are still somewhat a virgin. I need to know if they had done the DONE! D:

 

No glove no love.

You're a smart boy!

 

he's been flogged like a sailor, disciplined like a dog, had more facials than a fashion model, swallowed cream by the bucket-load but he's still a virgin

 

...or more like an ass-hat because he told someone he's a virgin?

James, you sound like you've had all kinds of fun!!!

[TetRefine]

So if people consider penetration as losing your virginity, does that mean all lesbians are virgins then?