New Stock Market Terms

[Tiger]

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no lovin.

 

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

 

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

[clumber]

You forgot some.

 

CREDIT RATING: Most banks now have a bad one of these.

 

IMPACT DAY: Connected with WINDOWS. This is the day when the Yahoo shareholders hit the pavement.

 

PRIVATISATION: This is now happening to most banks.

 

PRUDENT MAN RULE: A rule that has not been followed for quite some time.

 

UNSECURED LOAN: Something which seemed like a good idea at the time.

 

 

(I have too much time on my hands)

Martin

Edited October 15, 2008 by clumber

[Mark Arbour]

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

 

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

 

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

 

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no lovin.

 

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

 

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

 

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

 

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

 

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

 

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

 

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

 

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

 

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

 

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

 

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

 

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

 

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

 

These are great Tiger! A little too true though.

[W_L]

I love you list Tiger

[glomph]

"CREDIT RATING" used to mean the bank's opinion of us. Now it relates to banks' opinions of one another. (They're not loaning to us, so our rating doesn't matter. And, as noted above most banks now have a bad one.)