Gay Dating & Race

[TetRefine]

So I was looking through this website I visit from time to time where gay couples submit pictures of themselves for everyone to see, and I noticed something. I noticed that there was seemingly a higher then what I expected proportion of interracial couples then, say, what you would find among straight couples. I did a little research and found that among heterosexual marriages, around 93-95% married within their own race. I went back to the website with a wide array of pictures and counted that only about 70% of the couples who posted pictures on there were of the same race. I personally am dating someone outside my own race, but I never even really noticed it, if that makes sense. I guess what I'm wondering is, what is it that you think makes gay people more likely to date/marry outside their own race then straight people? Or do you have different observations? Again, I'm basing most of my perceptions off first hand accounts, not actual hard fact. Any thoughts?

Edited April 20, 2011 by TetRefine

[Arpeggio]

I would guess that it's because they're gay. I mean, I'm not calling heterosexuals narrow minded, but being gay to begin with already opens someone up so much that maybe it just opens them up to more people?

 

I dunno, it just seems that way to me. Someone else could explain it better.

[Y_B]

1) Gay people have this unspoken understanding that they don't have nearly as many potentials as straight people of this world. When you have limited resources, you don't tend to be as picky.

 

2) Gay people may likely hold less prejudice against particular people for the reason that they are themselved prejudiced and know first hand it's ins and outs

 

3) (my own opinion) Gays are generally more socially liberal and have less inclinations to uphold some sort of traditional patterns of staying inside the box, ie marry one's own race.

 

4) People enjoy differences, however subtle or taken for granted. Straight couples are biological opposites of each other. There's none of that for gay couples so they may look for differences through other means, like ethnicity.

 

5) # 1 and 2

 

6) All of the above

 

7) My dick

Edited April 20, 2011 by Yang Bang

[JamesSavik]

I don't care about the race of the person. Age doesn't bother me much either. Number one on my list is that they NOT be a flaming @sshole. ^

[PrivateTim]

I think the limited number of gay people to choose from makes people more open minded by necessity than in the straight world.

 

I don't see a lot of African American & white gay couples in L.A., but a good number of white & Asian and obviously a lot of white & Hispanic, but Hispanic isn't really considered a race, it is a culture (but that is a topic all on its own).

 

And I think you see a lot more couples with wide divergence in ages than you do in the str8 community.

 

I was surprised when I went to Atlanta on business one time because I saw so many "salt & pepper" couples. I wasn't used to seeing that, but I figured out that Atlanta has a much higher percent of African Americas than L.A. does, so I guess it makes sense.

Edited April 20, 2011 by PrivateTim

[Skyline]

I have zero attraction to my own race (even though I'm mixed race, I consider myself more african than caucasian lol. Medium brown is closer to dark brown than it is to white ) but my mom is the same, so its possible some of it comes from her

[pabz]

I was late out of the closet.....English living in the UK....Always had a great attraction to Spain and it's men.

 

Tried out a few and settled on the best of the bunch...

 

We have been together over 20 years and did a Civil union a few years ago.

 

Viva "integration"

 

Pabz

[Bleu]

4) People enjoy differences, however subtle or taken for granted. Straight couples are biological opposites of each other. There's none of that for gay couples so they may look for differences through other means, like ethnicity.

 

I quite agree with this analysis.

 

I can be attracted to the whole range of colours and ethnic backgrounds, but I find that my gaze tends to linger on non-white guys.

[West Coast Dude]

So I was looking through this website I visit from time to time where gay couples submit pictures of themselves for everyone to see, and I noticed something. I noticed that there was seemingly a higher then what I expected proportion of interracial couples then, say, what you would find among straight couples. I did a little research and found that among heterosexual marriages, around 93-95% married within their own race. I went back to the website with a wide array of pictures and counted that only about 70% of the couples who posted pictures on there were of the same race. I personally am dating someone outside my own race, but I never even really noticed it, if that makes sense. I guess what I'm wondering is, what is it that you think makes gay people more likely to date/marry outside their own race then straight people? Or do you have different observations? Again, I'm basing most of my perceptions off first hand accounts, not actual hard fact. Any thoughts?

 

Really that's interesting. Because a ton of guys reject me because I'm not white..hmmm. But I think mixed couples (white/asian, asian/black etc are the greatest). They both have different cultures and it makes it interesting. What do you think tety?

 

So I was looking through this website I visit from time to time where gay couples submit pictures of themselves for everyone to see, and I noticed something. I noticed that there was seemingly a higher then what I expected proportion of interracial couples then, say, what you would find among straight couples. I did a little research and found that among heterosexual marriages, around 93-95% married within their own race. I went back to the website with a wide array of pictures and counted that only about 70% of the couples who posted pictures on there were of the same race. I personally am dating someone outside my own race, but I never even really noticed it, if that makes sense. I guess what I'm wondering is, what is it that you think makes gay people more likely to date/marry outside their own race then straight people? Or do you have different observations? Again, I'm basing most of my perceptions off first hand accounts, not actual hard fact. Any thoughts?

 

Really that's interesting. Because a ton of guys reject me because I'm not white..hmmm. But I think mixed couples (white/asian, asian/black etc are the greatest). They both have different cultures and it makes it interesting. What do you think tety?

 

I was late out of the closet.....English living in the UK....Always had a great attraction to Spain and it's men.

 

Tried out a few and settled on the best of the bunch...

 

We have been together over 20 years and did a Civil union a few years ago.

 

Viva "integration"

 

Pabz

 

Aww thats great pabz congrats!

 

I don't care about the race of the person. Age doesn't bother me much either. Number one on my list is that they NOT be a flaming @sshole. ^

 

ahahah love the alst words in that post...

[Tiger]

I personally prefer white men, but I must admit that I have a thing for Latinos, Asians, and Mulattos as well. I really don't consider race an issue. If I find a guy attractive physically and personality wise, I'm open to dating him. Variety is the spice of life.

[rustle]

I think Lacey and Yang Bang called it. Gays aren't as repressed with social norms, so they look at a broader spectrum of potential partners. Let's face it - our parents never encouraged most of us to pursue that hot blonde stud with the big bulge.

 

Yang's option #7 would take more study.

 

 

 

 

[West Coast Dude]

pursue that hot blonde stud with the big bulge.

 

Hey some of us might like to pursue that stud with the blonde hair and the big bulge and the blue eyes, and the six pack...and the nice pecs..

[TetRefine]

7) My dick

 

Care to share?

[Tipdin]

Most of us are taught to go for what we know. We seek what is familiar and re-create what has been. Some of us go another way - at least for a while.

 

Evidently my brother is correct, he always said that I look like the mailman. I do not look like any of the men in my family. I am a fishbelly white guy but had a partner who was black. (He died of AIDS.) About the only kind of guy I have not dated is Asian. There were very few Asian men in Minnesota when I was husband-shopping.

 

But I must admit, that my favorite flavor of man is what I grew up with. Tall, dark, handsome , and really, really SUPER HAIRY. Those are the guys I learned to love as a child. All the guys (and to a frightening degree, some of the women) were hairy. It's natural to go for what we know. Very few parents encourage their children to explore and go for what they do NOT know.

[Mark Arbour]

So I was looking through this website I visit from time to time where gay couples submit pictures of themselves for everyone to see, and I noticed something. I noticed that there was seemingly a higher then what I expected proportion of interracial couples then, say, what you would find among straight couples. I did a little research and found that among heterosexual marriages, around 93-95% married within their own race. I went back to the website with a wide array of pictures and counted that only about 70% of the couples who posted pictures on there were of the same race. I personally am dating someone outside my own race, but I never even really noticed it, if that makes sense. I guess what I'm wondering is, what is it that you think makes gay people more likely to date/marry outside their own race then straight people? Or do you have different observations? Again, I'm basing most of my perceptions off first hand accounts, not actual hard fact. Any thoughts?

 

Let me guess...you're taking stats?

 

Interesting observations.

[TetRefine]

Let me guess...you're taking stats?

 

Interesting observations.

 

Its the only kind of math I'm good at.

 

But its something I never really noticed before. We are usually expected to marry within "our own", but gay people continually push that boundary, and its interesting to hear the different reasons why people think this happens. I don't know, I never really looked at it as "oh I wanna marry a white guy cause I'm white" like members of the older generations of my family did. My uncle married a first generation Iraqi-American Jew, and that caused a shit-storm among my grandparents since they and both their other kids married white Catholics. They weren't outwardly rude about the situation, but behind closed doors it pissed them off to no end. They've learned to live with it now, especially since they got two new grandkids out of it.

 

I'm not sure how they would react if they 1.) Knew I was gay 2.) Knew I was dating outside my own race 3.) Knew I was gay, dating outside my own race with someone who wasn't even born in the United States. My parents (both white Catholics) could care less what color, religion, gender I date, but it would probably not go over too well with the older, more socially conservative members of my family. Hence why they don't know and never will.

[Mark Arbour]

Its the only kind of math I'm good at.

 

But its something I never really noticed before. We are usually expected to marry within "our own", but gay people continually push that boundary, and its interesting to hear the different reasons why people think this happens. I don't know, I never really looked at it as "oh I wanna marry a white guy cause I'm white" like members of the older generations of my family did. My uncle married a first generation Iraqi-American Jew, and that caused a shit-storm among my grandparents since they and both their other kids married white Catholics. They weren't outwardly rude about the situation, but behind closed doors it pissed them off to no end. They've learned to live with it now, especially since they got two new grandkids out of it.

 

I'm not sure how they would react if they 1.) Knew I was gay 2.) Knew I was dating outside my own race 3.) Knew I was gay, dating outside my own race with someone who wasn't even born in the United States. My parents (both white Catholics) could care less what color, religion, gender I date, but it would probably not go over too well with the older, more socially conservative members of my family. Hence why they don't know and never will.

 

Old white people are really hard to deal with.

[TetRefine]

Old white people are really hard to deal with.

 

Do tell.

[West Coast Dude]

Its the only kind of math I'm good at.

 

But its something I never really noticed before. We are usually expected to marry within "our own", but gay people continually push that boundary, and its interesting to hear the different reasons why people think this happens. I don't know, I never really looked at it as "oh I wanna marry a white guy cause I'm white" like members of the older generations of my family did. My uncle married a first generation Iraqi-American Jew, and that caused a shit-storm among my grandparents since they and both their other kids married white Catholics. They weren't outwardly rude about the situation, but behind closed doors it pissed them off to no end. They've learned to live with it now, especially since they got two new grandkids out of it.

 

I'm not sure how they would react if they 1.) Knew I was gay 2.) Knew I was dating outside my own race 3.) Knew I was gay, dating outside my own race with someone who wasn't even born in the United States. My parents (both white Catholics) could care less what color, religion, gender I date, but it would probably not go over too well with the older, more socially conservative members of my family. Hence why they don't know and never will.

 

Well the white guys with the black guys, can be explained I mean you know what they say about black guys. Some of the other couples, let's just say the gay gods of anatomy didn't bless certain individuals But that's why there's tops and bottoms...

[West Coast Dude]

Its the only kind of math I'm good at.

 

But its something I never really noticed before. We are usually expected to marry within "our own", but gay people continually push that boundary, and its interesting to hear the different reasons why people think this happens. I don't know, I never really looked at it as "oh I wanna marry a white guy cause I'm white" like members of the older generations of my family did. My uncle married a first generation Iraqi-American Jew, and that caused a shit-storm among my grandparents since they and both their other kids married white Catholics. They weren't outwardly rude about the situation, but behind closed doors it pissed them off to no end. They've learned to live with it now, especially since they got two new grandkids out of it.

 

I'm not sure how they would react if they 1.) Knew I was gay 2.) Knew I was dating outside my own race 3.) Knew I was gay, dating outside my own race with someone who wasn't even born in the United States. My parents (both white Catholics) could care less what color, religion, gender I date, but it would probably not go over too well with the older, more socially conservative members of my family. Hence why they don't know and never will.

 

If I ever come out to my parents, they'd prolly want me to be with a white guy, because in my family, white people are kind of considered better than everyone else. Ok that sounds wrong. So I can get what your grandparents would feel like. And he'd have to be a respectable careers, prolly why it never worked out with the truck driver, the teacher, the paramedic...well the list goes on. Maybe after I come out I should just ask for an arranged gay marriage...

[colinian]

I'm white and my partner Doug is Chinese. My best friend Ron is black and his partner is Chinese. For me race isn't important, it's one of the things makes a person different in a good but relatively minor way; like how tall they are or if chocolate is their favorite ice cream flavor or if they don't like liver or the color of their hair or if they smile a lot. It's a person's personality that I find most important.

 

Colin

[Arpeggio]

obviously a lot of white & Hispanic, but Hispanic isn't really considered a race, it is a culture (but that is a topic all on its own).

 

Yup, like my dad was a mestizo, which is like a mix of native american/european/etc and the most common in Mexico, but you can have white latino/latinas, same with Black or Asian. People tend to get confused with it. XD

 

All my boyfriends have been white, personally, but I am attracted to different races and would date anyone if I liked them well enough.

[West Coast Dude]

Yup, like my dad was a mestizo, which is like a mix of native american/european/etc and the most common in Mexico, but you can have white latino/latinas, same with Black or Asian. People tend to get confused with it. XD

 

All my boyfriends have been white, personally, but I am attracted to different races and would date anyone if I liked them well enough.

 

I think people who are mixed, are really lucky because they get to experience even another culture, instead of just one. What do you think Arpeggio?

[TetRefine]

If I ever come out to my parents, they'd prolly want me to be with a white guy, because in my family, white people are kind of considered better than everyone else. Ok that sounds wrong. So I can get what your grandparents would feel like. And he'd have to be a respectable careers, prolly why it never worked out with the truck driver, the teacher, the paramedic...well the list goes on. Maybe after I come out I should just ask for an arranged gay marriage...

 

I'm curious, what race are you?

[Y_B]

I'm curious, what race are you?

 

I'm almost willing to bet he's Asian

Either Chinese or Vietnamese

 

(he gave me that impression)

Edited April 21, 2011 by Yang Bang