poetry Poetry Prompt 3 – LYRICS

[Headstall]

My first thought when I read your poem was of a meeting of lovers, but then I started thinking about taking the opportunity to spend time with an elderly parent or relative. To me, it has a sense of needing to capture the moment, catching it before time moves on and all is lost.

It's cool that you say that. It was about lovers, in this instance, but you're right... it does apply to others. I often wake up with plans for the day of what I need to do, and one word from my son, for example, and I scrap those plans to spend time with him, even if I don't really want to do the thing he wants. It's about cherishing being able to spend time with him. LOL... the things I learn during these times. Thanks for the insight... it makes me feel better about this one...

[Mikiesboy]

Hmmm not sure about these but ... here's something to start with

 

We slumber – two peas in a pod

Gentle lover, my own

Strong arms encircle my body

With breath sweet, he warms me

 

Kisses feather soft on my neck

Fuel my desire - my want

The love in his eyes, clear as day

I drown in pools of blue

[AC Benus]

 

Hmmm not sure about these but ... here's something to start with

 

We slumber – two peas in a pod

Gentle lover, my own

Strong arms encircle my body

With breath sweet, he warms me

 

Kisses feather soft on my neck

Fuel my desire - my want

The love in his eyes, clear as day

I drown in pools of blue

 

I see you've posted these in your poetry folder, so I will comment on them there

[Parker Owens]

Okay, I've been hooked by the poetry prompts. I admit it. Here's my second one today. Ugh. I'm an addict.  Will post this to the 'Live Poets' thread, too.

 

Lyric Reflection on Christmas Vacation.

 

Beautiful creatures under tropic skies,

Hot sandy beaches, and hotter guys

Soft breezes breathing warmth into my bones

Wafting exotic birds overhead.

Skimming the currents, they make their way home,

Fishing the water for daily bread.

 

They take no notice of skin pale or tanned

Parading margins where surf meets sand.

Exotic themselves, bright colors and noise,

Roosting on blankets, food within range,

Or swimming and screaming; girls chasing boys.

And neither to the other is strange.

[AC Benus]

Okay, I've been hooked by the poetry prompts. I admit it. Here's my second one today. Ugh. I'm an addict.  Will post this to the 'Live Poets' thread, too.

 

Lyric Reflection on Christmas Vacation.

 

Beautiful creatures under tropic skies,

Hot sandy beaches, and hotter guys

Soft breezes breathing warmth into my bones

Wafting exotic birds overhead.

Skimming the currents, they make their way home,

Fishing the water for daily bread.

 

They take no notice of skin pale or tanned

Parading margins where surf meets sand.

Exotic themselves, bright colors and noise,

Roosting on blankets, food within range,

Or swimming and screaming; girls chasing boys.

And neither to the other is strange.

Parker, it's a lovely poem, and a keeper. However - lol - the challenge was to make lines of 8 and 6 syllables respectively.

 

The lesson involved here is to get comfortable with 'lyric' expression. Lines close to 10 syllables are a different style altogether, and as this poem proves, a great metre for 'narrative' poetry.  

 

Maybe think it over, and recall in the morning what your first thoughts are to see if you can write it in an 8-6 rhythm for us.    

[Parker Owens]

Oh, dear. I thought 8-6-8-6 was voluntary. Well. back to the drawing bard. Er, board.

[Emi GS]

I got stuck here for a while and finally, successfully, completed this prompt. Thanks to AC Benus and SkinnyD for helping me with this. I hope you guys will like it...

 

My Lyrics poem

[AC Benus]

Thanks for taking the prompt challenge, Emi. I left you a review on the posting

[MrM]

Here are some Billy Chase/Brandon Smiling lyrics I just wrote for an instrumental piece by a Retro Wave electronic group called FM-84. If you could listen to the song and follow along with the lyrics you'll see where I try to catch the hook, the tempo, and the metered rhythm of the song in the lyrics. I also indicate layering since a lot of modern songs layer backing vocal tracks to catch the next stanza of the song in time with the synchopation of the music. 

 

The music has a very nostalgic feel so the song I wrote for it is a reminiscence:

 

Arcade Summer by FM-84 and MrM:

https://www.gayauthors.org/story/mrm/MPoetry/13

Edited April 6, 2017 by MrM

[BDANR]

Okay, Lyrics to start off this Monday. What do you all think?

 

I woke up, mind on poetry

My skin so warm, my lungs

Breathe in fire from the burning

Of the forests up north

The sky in brown haze, the Earth burns

As we pray for the rain

 

To cleanse the land, smother fire

Wash us of toxic haze

So that we may breathe morning dew

Feel safe in our homes and

Look out at the passionate sky

Painted blue once again

[AC Benus]

On 8/7/2017 at 10:32 AM, BDANR said:

Okay, Lyrics to start off this Monday. What do you all think?

 

I woke up, mind on poetry

My skin so warm, my lungs

Breathe in fire from the burning

Of the forests up north

The sky in brown haze, the Earth burns

As we pray for the rain

 

To cleanse the land, smother fire

Wash us of toxic haze

So that we may breathe morning dew

Feel safe in our homes and

Look out at the passionate sky

Painted blue once again

Thanks for taking the poetry prompt challenge! I sent you some thoughts in in PM on this one. I've been thinking that these early Poetry Prompts may need revising and/or expanding. 

 

With lyric poetry, it might be a bit of a jump from Tanka and Haiku, but it's something that should be familiar to any of us who love music - as Western poetry is all about the song to go with it too. 

 

I don't know...I don't feel I haven't organized my thoughts very well here, but the poems you created certainly answer the prompt challenge very well, and I appreciate your moving though this course. 

[MrM]

I find most (not all) pop music, stage musical songs, and even many operatic pieces in western music written to verse generally follow a similar pattern. Having written some songs in the past this is how I'd always set them up. It helps in synchronizing the song to the lyrics too:

 

Lead in/intro phrase

First Bridge

First Hook

Chorus or 1st Chorus

 

Second Phrase

Second Bridge or Hook

Chorus Refrain or 2nd Chorus

 

Main Bridge, Intermezzo, or Break Down

 

Thrid Phrase

Thrid Bridge or Hook

Chorus Refrain or 3nd Chorus

 

Main Bridge Refrain or Master Hook

Crescendo Chorus 

 

Playout to finale

 

(Finale often is the last Crescendo Chrous refrained until end until fade out in a lot of pop songs lyrically)

 

Here's a pop song I like from the 80s that breaks down thsi way. I like this one because its a very typical pattern and has some lovely lyrics to boot:

 

A-Ha, Hunting High and Low

 

(Lead In Phrase)

Here I am
And within the reach of my hands
She's sound asleep and she's sweeter now
Than the wildest dream could have seen her
And I Watch her slipping away

 

(First Hook)

Though' I know I'll be hunting

 

(First chorus)

high and low
High
There's no end to the lengths I'll go to
Hunting high and low
High
There's no end to lengths I'll go

 

(First Bridge)

To find her again

 

(Second Phrase)

Upon this my dreams are depending
Through the dark
I sense the pounding of her heart
Next to mine
She's the sweetest love I could find

 

(Second Hook)

So I guess I'll be hunting

 

(Second Chorus)

high and low
High
There's no end to the lengths I'll go to

Hunting High and Low
High
Do you know what it means to love you

 

(Minor Main Bridge Music)

 

(Chorus Refrain)

I'm hunting high and low

 

(Power Hook 1)
And now she's telling me she's got to go away

 

(Major Main Bridge Music)

 

(Cresendo Chorus)

I'll always be hunting

high and low
Hungry for you

 

(Power Hook 2)
Watching me tearing myself to pieces

 

(Cresendo Refrain until Finale)

Hunting high and low
High

There's no end to the lengths I'll go to

Oh, for you I'll be hunting high and low

 

(Lead off in Adagio tempo for quiet fade)

 

 

Edited August 14, 2017 by MrM

[Parker Owens]

On August 7, 2017 at 1:32 PM, BDANR said:

Okay, Lyrics to start off this Monday. What do you all think?

 

I woke up, mind on poetry

My skin so warm, my lungs

Breathe in fire from the burning

Of the forests up north

The sky in brown haze, the Earth burns

As we pray for the rain

 

To cleanse the land, smother fire

Wash us of toxic haze

So that we may breathe morning dew

Feel safe in our homes and

Look out at the passionate sky

Painted blue once again

 

Several lines grab hold of me in this: 

I woke up, mind on poetry... I can definitely relate!

Look out at the passionate sky... The notion of a passionate sky intrigues me. I can certainly say I've encountered one or two...

Painted blue once again... who paints the sky? Where is the paint store that sells those hues? Leave it to the nerds to ask....