How do you conquer your fear?

[FormerMember4]

Hey Everyone, 

I’m posing a question to the GA community. Something I know many creative people deal with. What are some ways you work through fear?

I have suffered from anxiety for a long time. This exacerbates fear. I’ve learned many coping mechanisms. However; it’s hindered some goals in life.

I’m curious how others cope. I know this community is supportive, not condemning. Thanks for ideas.

[Wesley8890]

I'm not good at conquering fear. I'm scared of heights, been on three planes still scared. Anxiety attacks suck I've had them still do can't cope good enough.

[Brayon]

I try to remember one of my favorite SciFi quotes:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune

 

Barring that... I have some very good prescribed drugs.

[Caz Pedroso]

I  sing  or if there are other people around I may hum instead (since I can't sing in tune). I find by concentrating on the song/tune it takes my mind off the fear.

 

An example: I used to have to go to work as a cleaner at three in the morning. I walked through my town's town center and it was dark and quiet. Humming and singing to myself was the only way I stopped myself jumping at every little noise and shadow I passed. I find it helps in most instances. 

 

 

[Valkyrie]

I used to work with horses--specifically jumpers.  I've faced a lot of situations involving fear and danger, so have learned how to push through the fear to act.  There's a saying when jumping... "throw your heart over the fence and follow".  I also suffer from anxiety.    While a lot of times it makes me withdraw, I've learned to push through the fear to do things I know I'll enjoy once I'm participating in them.  I went through a particularly rough patch a few years ago where the foundation of my life completely collapsed.  My solution was to deliberately put myself into situations that challenged me or made me uncomfortable.  I joined a local hiking club, even though I didn't know anyone, and spent a lot of time traveling and visiting friends.  I also walked 2 1/2 miles every day.  So sometimes you have to push through the discomfort... throw your heart over that fence and just follow.  It's not easy, but it's worth it.   

[FormerMember4]

Some great ideas. Horses also lower blood pressure with calming demeanor.

[NoShame]

Daily meditation has helped me overcome anxiety and panic attacks. To think I used to joke about a work colleague's daily half hour meditations, behind a closed office door, as his nap time. Meditating has me organize my thoughts and has helped me to become more focused. However, I must admit, when I first started I thought it was stupid. 

[FormerMember4]

5 minutes ago, NoShame said:

Daily meditation has helped me overcome anxiety and panic attacks. To think I used to joke about a work colleague's daily half hour meditations, behind a closed office door, as his nap time. Meditating has me organize my thoughts and has helped me to become more focused. However, I must admit, when I first started I thought it was stupid. 

It works very well. I meditate with breathing exercises everyday. Along with Tai chi. 

[Former Member]

I am on Disability for Depression and Anxiety. When I panic, I shut down – unlike fight or flight, for me it’s freeze! I was on medication for the depression, but discovered that I do better without them. Therapy has helped a lot.  ;-)

 

@Wesley8890, my fear of heights doesn’t extend to flying. I think it’s because I took my first plane rides when I was only a few months old. But the observation deck of Chicago’s John Hancock building was terrifying! I stayed against the inside wall and could not even approach the windows!

 

@NoShame, fortunately I do not suffer from panic attacks. My best friend does, things have progressively gotten worse for him and I haven’t seen him in over a decade (I’ve emailed and called him and gotten a few responses, most recently last month). I dated a guy who did – I felt very helpless when he was in the middle of an attack and I couldn’t do anything.

 

Several therapists have tried to get me to ‘imagine stepping through a door’ or other similar things. My brain rejects those sorts of tricks. One told me to imagine my evil self in a chair next to me and the only thing I could do was joke that he must have facial hair because that’s always the difference in Star Trek’s parallel universe!  ;-)

 

But there have been times when I have told my therapists that my brain feels like three gears locked against each other, unable to rotate! And that my issues feel kind of like the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Arc, rolling along – therapy has smoothed off some of the more jagged peaks so the boulder rolls better. I can’t identify just what has changed, but I know I’m better able to cope with my problems than before.  ;-)

[Freerider]

I think conquering fear is about preparation and allowing yourself to fail.

 

Preparation can be physical, but is mostly mental. Imagine yourself in the dreaded situation and think through different scenarios.

Then try it out in the real world. If you fail, no problem, just start over and use your newly gained experience to prepare better for the next try.

 

[MichaelS36]

7 hours ago, Caz Pedroso said:

I  sing  or if there are other people around I may hum instead (since I can't sing in tune). I find by concentrating on the song/tune it takes my mind off the fear.

 

An example: I used to have to go to work as a cleaner at three in the morning. I walked through my town's town center and it was dark and quiet. Humming and singing to myself was the only way I stopped myself jumping at every little noise and shadow I passed. I find it helps in most instances. 

 

 

Keep your cell phone in your hand...talk into it. That can deter people. And look around,  walk with confidence. 

[Caz Pedroso]

9 hours ago, MichaelS36 said:

Keep your cell phone in your hand...talk into it. That can deter people. And look around,  walk with confidence. 

 

Thank you, Sir. 

[LitLover]

I have mild anxiety, but I find it’s actually gotten better as I’ve gotten older.  I’m not sure why.  Like @Caz Pedroso I sing or hum when I’m alone and I feel uncomfortable, but I do it to songs on my phone.  I find just hearing the music makes me feel less alone in the dark.  My biggest fear is heights.  I’ve gotten to the point that I can get on a roller coaster or Ferris wheel, but ladders or walking over a log across a stream still make me freeze up.  Strange, I know.  

 

I don't think there is any one answer for combatting fear. Just the like we are all unique so are our fears and coping mechanisms.  The point is that we try, whether it’s by medication, distracting ourselves or trying to face what scares us.

[FormerMember4]

I thank everyone for sharing stories, and the tools that have helped you.

[mogwhy]

i have some fears that i need to deal with. shutting me behind a closed door or small room or restrained will trigger a panic attacks and i usually end up hurting myself. fear of heights, water, and bridges. driving over the Mackinaw Bridge was, well nerve wracking. it.

 

for me, it's not so much "conquering" my fear, but a matter of controlling it. i try not to be in a position to encounter my fears, know  where the bridges are, don't go in the water, don't climb things or avoid being trapped. if i can't avoid it, i try psyching myself up, working through what could go wrong and why it won't go wrong. meditating and breathing exercises. if someone tries to restrain me (especially if they surprise me) i will strike out and hit them.

[ReaderPaul]

Everyone has differing fears and anxieties.  I have a fear of dentists and a fear of small culverts. (I nearly drowned in one at age 4.)  I have a fear of driving on icy roads after having an accident years ago where I totaled my car by sliding into a culvert and then a wrecker hit my car.
 

1 hour ago, mogwhy said:

For me, it's not so much "conquering" my fear, but a matter of controlling it. i try not to be in a position to encounter my fears...

I agree.  I only drive on icy roads in an emergency, and avoid small culverts when I can.  I prepare as best I can (but still am very nervous at dentists).  Sometimes we have to look for ways to go around or face our fears.  It does not always get easier.

[Freerider]

While avoiding fearful situations certainly has its merits (when done in moderation), I don't think it is a way of conquering fears 

[FormerMember4]

14 minutes ago, ReaderPaul said:

Everyone has differing fears and anxieties.  I have a fear of dentists and a fear of small culverts. (I nearly drowned in one at age 4.)  I have a fear of driving on icy roads after having an accident years ago where I totaled my car by sliding into a culvert and then a wrecker hit my car.
 

I agree.  I only drive on icy roads in an emergency, and avoid small culverts when I can.  I prepare as best I can (but still am very nervous at dentists).  Sometimes we have to look for ways to go around or face our fears.  It does not always get easier.

Thanks for your input. My fears are of failure, rejection, heights, snakes, spiders, bugs. The most severe has happened since going blind. Not seeing surroundings in big crowds.

[ReaderPaul]

I have learned to face my fears when needed. but I don't like it, especially dentists!  That is worse than the rest put together, because they have sharp instruments they put in your mouth!

[Valkyrie]

2 hours ago, mogwhy said:

if someone tries to restrain me (especially if they surprise me) i will strike out and hit them.

 Same here.