Variation on Relationship Types in Romance

[Superpride]

I don't know a better term for what I want to talk about, but here's some elaboration.  As writers, when you write different romance stories featuring different characters, do you try to vary the type of relationship the main character has with his or her partner or partners?  For example, in one story do you have one character be wealthy while the other character is poor, another story has one who is older while the other who is younger, one alpha and the other beta in the third story?  Even in terms of physical appearance, like one character is taller than their partner, broad versus slim, blond versus brown-haired, or fair-skinned versus dark-skinned.  Do your characters have hobbies that contrast with one another?  Or do your characters have a lot in common in terms of their relationship dynamics, physical appearances, hobbies, etc?

 

To put it simply, does the relationships in your different stories vary enough that readers are not reading the same story with a different setting?  I try to diversify the relationships between my characters, but I always seem to have one character who is more shy and submissive, while their partner is more confident and dominant.  In one of my stories, I try to change that with one of my characters seemingly this very dominant, stoic type when in reality he is very submissive when in the bedroom.  I just don't want the same relationship type to reoccur in every story of mine, and have them be cliche or overused.  So, what are your thoughts?

[Daddydavek]

Stories can be predictable and just more of the same, so everyone tries to mix it up and try a new or novel take on a relationship.  I'm having "the more of the same" problem in trying to write a new book about Abel III and so far I'm dissatisfied with what I've written and re-written and started over from scratch with yet again.  So I definitely hear your angst and I believe it is shared by everyone who is trying to write an interesting story that will stand the test of time.

[Brayon]

Demographics perhaps?

I do vary it up a little. I have several different pairings. Some mundane, like two 16-year-olds, or two 38ish-year-olds, to something a bit more unusual. Like a Werebear and a Half-Elf, and a Normal Human and a Primordial God of love. 

[Superpride]

1 hour ago, Daddydavek said:

Stories can be predictable and just more of the same, so everyone tries to mix it up and try a new or novel take on a relationship.  I'm having "the more of the same" problem in trying to write a new book about Abel III and so far I'm dissatisfied with what I've written and re-written and started over from scratch with yet again.  So I definitely hear your angst and I believe it is shared by everyone who is trying to write an interesting story that will stand the test of time.

 

For me, a relationship can make or break a romance story for me, so making a relationship between my two characters unique and very interesting throughout and not dull or stale is what I’m trying to do.  I also don’t like when the main conflict in a relationship is resolved too quickly or too early, and it’s like boring afterwards if that makes any sense.

[Superpride]

1 hour ago, BHopper2 said:

Demographics perhaps?

I do vary it up a little. I have several different pairings. Some mundane, like two 16-year-olds, or two 38ish-year-olds, to something a bit more unusual. Like a Werebear and a Half-Elf, and a Normal Human and a Primordial God of love. 

 

Or what about a living puppet and an action-figure obsessed nerd or a Frankenstein-like gang member and an undercover, collage enthusiast?  LOL

[Headstall]

Good topic, Superpride. I'm pretty sure I don't really try to do anything, as least not to the point where I sit down and attempt to 'create' a romance. So far in my writing, the characters happen in my head, and the story evolves there as well, pretty much playing out from start to finish. For me, as a reader, as long as characters feel genuine, fully-fledged, and understandable, I will read just about any scenario, and that's what I concentrate on as a writer. As yet, I haven't had to sit down and force anything... as in ideas, but I am worried one day that will happen.

 

I don't want to write the same story over and over again, though, so I get the reason for the question. I love a good plot, and, to me, it's the situation they're in that makes my stories different from each other... how that romance is allowed to build... outside influences, past situations, present situations etc. Interaction and dynamic are the keys to a good romance. It's not so much, for me, whether the characters are similar, or at opposite ends of the spectrum... whether they are young or old, or shifters.   As offhand as it may sound, I believe it is of greater importance the characters come across as real, moreso than unique. I suppose, though, in making the characters whole/authentic, and the dynamic real, interesting, and believable, they do become unique. Anyway, if readers remember them months or years later, we've done our job. 

 

For now, my process just happens. Maybe in a year or two, I will respond differently.   Cheers... Gary....

[Carlos Hazday]

I agree with Gary. The process for me is much more organic. Sometimes the characters come first, other times the plot does. I don't write romance stories per se, but the ones I have done are varied. From a straight couple in their 50s to a middle-aged interracial one. My long series is not a romance no matter what some readers may say, but the main characters do end up in a relationship. That one involves an American kid and an Australian 6 years older than him.

 

The chatracters have to fit the circumstances.

[Superpride]

1 hour ago, Headstall said:

Good topic, Superpride. I'm pretty sure I don't really try to do anything, as least not to the point where I sit down and attempt to 'create' a romance. So far in my writing, the characters happen in my head, and the story evolves there as well, pretty much playing out from start to finish. For me, as a reader, as long as characters feel genuine, fully-fledged, and understandable, I will read just about any scenario, and that's what I concentrate on as a writer. As yet, I haven't had to sit down and force anything... as in ideas, but I am worried one day that will happen.

 

I don't want to write the same story over and over again, though, so I get the reason for the question. I love a good plot, and, to me, it's the situation they're in that makes my stories different from each other... how that romance is allowed to build... outside influences, past situations, present situations etc. Interaction and dynamic are the keys to a good romance. It's not so much, for me, whether the characters are similar, or at opposite ends of the spectrum... whether they are young or old, or shifters.   As offhand as it may sound, I believe it is of greater importance the characters come across as real, moreso than unique. I suppose, though, in making the characters whole/authentic, and the dynamic real, interesting, and believable, they do become unique. Anyway, if readers remember them months or years later, we've done our job. 

 

For now, my process just happens. Maybe in a year or two, I will respond differently.   Cheers... Gary....

 

Yes, I completely agree that making characters and their relationship believable should make them unique by default if that's the right word.  And I strongly agree that the environment the relationship takes place in is important as well, especially when when I look at it as the reader.  I remember reading a gay romance book, one of my first, and there was really no external conflict between the two characters further into the story other than another character trying to break the relationship.  It got really boring afterwards.  So, having the relationship build depending on the what is supporting it and what is pulling it down can make the relationship very interesting to read indeed.  I always like it when there's a crazy ex-girlfriend as a major conflict to a gay relationship because, I don't know, I just like it LOL.

[Superpride]

1 hour ago, Carlos Hazday said:

I agree with Gary. The process for me is much more organic. Sometimes the characters come first, other times the plot does. I don't write romance stories per se, but the ones I have done are varied. From a straight couple in their 50s to a middle-aged interracial one. My long series is not a romance no matter what some readers may say, but the main characters do end up in a relationship. That one involves an American kid and an Australian 6 years older than him.

 

The chatracters have to fit the circumstances.

 

I like the idea of creating the characters first and then building the plot involving them afterwards.  I usually do the opposite since I really want a message to be conveyed by the story, and because of that my stories mostly are plot-driven.  I don't know if that's wrong, but I will definitely try creating the characters first and see how that transforms my writing.  Thank you, Carlos and Gary for bring that into light for me.

[Headstall]

2 hours ago, Superpride said:

 

Yes, I completely agree that making characters and their relationship believable should make them unique by default if that's the right word.  And I strongly agree that the environment the relationship takes place in is important as well, especially when when I look at it as the reader.  I remember reading a gay romance book, one of my first, and there was really no external conflict between the two characters further into the story other than another character trying to break the relationship.  It got really boring afterwards.  So, having the relationship build depending on the what is supporting it and what is pulling it down can make the relationship very interesting to read indeed.  I always like it when there's a crazy ex-girlfriend as a major conflict to a gay relationship because, I don't know, I just like it LOL.

Absolutely. At the same time, drama for drama's sake turns me off. The key is, for me, that the characters act they way I've come to know them. If they go over the top in some way, for no apparent reason, or suddenly change personalities to accommodate some contrived drama, I'm usually out of there.  I'm not saying a character can't act out of character for an instance, but I have to be able to understand WHY as a reader. I do like characters who challenge us, though. Just saying....  

[Superpride]

1 minute ago, Headstall said:

Absolutely. At the same time, drama for drama's sake turns me off. The key is, for me, that the characters act they way I've come to know them. If they go over the top in some way, for no apparent reason, or suddenly change personalities to accommodate some contrived drama, I'm usually out of there.  I'm not saying a character can't act out of character for an instance, but I have to be able to understand WHY as a reader. I do like characters who challenge us, though. Just saying....  

 

That's very true.  Consistency based on the character's personality, for example, is key from what I gathered. 

[Pmsingtiger]

I think my relationships are different in every story I write because I think every relationship is different and not just in their topical characteristics but how they love each other. 

[AusGlitterati]

Yes & no, the relationship dynamics always change but they are always dysfunctional in some way. I guess I can't bring myself to let my fellows just be happy. 

[Superpride]

On 6/13/2018 at 11:17 AM, Pmsingtiger said:

I think my relationships are different in every story I write because I think every relationship is different and not just in their topical characteristics but how they love each other. 

 

How the character love each other is very interesting to think about since it very complex depending on the relationship, and is indeed very important to convey to the readers.

[Superpride]

16 hours ago, AusGlitterati said:

Yes & no, the relationship dynamics always change but they are always dysfunctional in some way. I guess I can't bring myself to let my fellows just be happy. 

 

No relationship is perfect, and even though having a happy relationship is great, it does not lead to very interesting storytelling if there is no conflict between the characters in my opinion.

[AusGlitterati]

On 6/15/2018 at 6:37 AM, Superpride said:

 

No relationship is perfect, and even though having a happy relationship is great, it does not lead to very interesting storytelling if there is no conflict between the characters in my opinion.

Agreed! That's where all the fun is. I mean, do we watch a whole season of a prison drama because we're interested in seeing an organised, well-run facility with well behaved inmates?