BREAKING NEWS FROM TEXAS !

[AudioAl]

B U L L E T I N *** B U L L E T I N *** B U L L E T I N

 

AUSTIN, Texas(AP)--A public school teacher was arrested today at Bergstrom International Airport in Austin as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule and a calculator.

 

At a morning press conference, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

 

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us", Rumsfeld said. "They use secret code names like x and y and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle."

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White house aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligant or profound statement by the president.

 

- 0 -

[Silven]

OMG! That is too funny. Where did you get that? I like it......

 

Silven

[Tim the Traveller]

that made me LMAO. Thanx Al

 

 

BTW I love the winamp avatar

 

 

 

[Graeme]

To prove that reality is stranger than fiction....

 

When Australia changed over to the metric system, the comedians had a field day over the fact that dual measurement rulers (ie. with both metric and imperial measurements) had become illegal imports -- joining guns, bombs, narcotics, ....

[AFriendlyFace]

B U L L E T I N *** B U L L E T I N *** B U L L E T I N

 

AUSTIN, Texas(AP)--A public school teacher was arrested today at Bergstrom International Airport in Austin as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule and a calculator.

 

At a morning press conference, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

 

"Al-Gebra is a problem for us", Rumsfeld said. "They use secret code names like x and y and refer to themselves as unknowns, but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are three sides to every triangle."

 

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes." White house aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligant or profound statement by the president.

 

- 0 -

That was so funny!! Thanks Al

 

To prove that reality is stranger than fiction....

 

When Australia changed over to the metric system, the comedians had a field day over the fact that dual measurement rulers (ie. with both metric and imperial measurements) had become illegal imports -- joining guns, bombs, narcotics, ....

OH my gosh!!! LOL

 

I wonder if the US will ever go metric.

-Kevin

[Eddy]

Thought this would be a good time to drop this one------------------------

 

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the

Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

 

He asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter answered, "Those are

Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the

hands on your clock will move."

 

" Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

 

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she

never told a lie."

 

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"

 

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved

twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

 

"Where's President Bush's clock?" asked the man. "Bush's clock is in

Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan.

 

[Drewbie]

LMAO. Where did you get it from?

[JamesSavik]

Way Cool!

 

Mathematical Subversives!

 

Flaunting their radical symbols and difficult ideas... I can see why the Asshat-in-Chief and his little dog Rummy might have a problem with it.

[shadows]

Way Cool!

 

Mathematical Subversives!

 

Flaunting their radical symbols and difficult ideas... I can see why the Asshat-in-Chief and his little dog Rummy might have a problem with it.

 

 

Don't you mean mathematical radicals?

 

Btw, someone misspelled intelligent

[Narcidius]

LMAO

 

Is that for real? Cause I wouldn't doubt it... it's texas.

[Boxerdude]

 

I am still hurting from laughing so hard!!! I am with Lawrence, I am sure it has happened somewhere here it Texas. If you made that up yourself, you are a amazing. Thanks for sharing, we need all the laughs we can get cause of this darn depressing heat!!

 

David

[Jack Frost]

hehehehheeh

[AudioAl]

As much as I'd like to, I can't take credit for it, guys. Someone emailed it to

 

a co-worker who shared it with me. LAMO, too. Glad you enjoyed it!

 

 

 

BTW, Hi to my fellow Texans Boxerdude and Narcidius. I enjoy your posts, guys. Stay

 

cool...and GIVE YOUR AIR CONDITIONER A BIG HUG EVERY DAY. No end it sight yet to this

 

heat wave.

 

--- Al

[Kurt]

Lol, that was hilarious.

 

Kurt

[Boxerdude]

As much as I'd like to, I can't take credit for it, guys. Someone emailed it to

 

a co-worker who shared it with me. LAMO, too. Glad you enjoyed it!

BTW, Hi to my fellow Texans Boxerdude and Narcidius. I enjoy your posts, guys. Stay

 

cool...and GIVE YOUR AIR CONDITIONER A BIG HUG EVERY DAY. No end it sight yet to this

 

heat wave.

 

--- Al

 

Oh, I am watering mine eveyday and humping it to so that it knows I love it. It has to be good and continue to work. It needs to know it is loved and not forgotten. It needs nurturing and loving. It can't quit on us we love it.

 

David

[Narcidius]

Oh, I am watering mine eveyday and humping it to so that it knows I love it. It has to be good and continue to work. It needs to know it is loved and not forgotten. It needs nurturing and loving. It can't quit on us we lvoe it.

 

David

 

LMAO! mine's working fine... but maybe I should hump it too just so it doesn't stop working. But i'm gonna have to go outside to do it and figure out which unit is ours.. it's not a window unit soo.. yeah.

 

Anyway.. funny stuff! loved it!

 

PLEASE! LET IT BE FALL!

 

P.S. OMG... I have 100 posts now! I have been a member of alot of forums, but this is the first time i got as far as a centennial post! w00000t! Go me!

[AudioAl]

OMG... I have 100 posts now! I have been a member of alot of forums, but this is the first time i got as far as a centennial post! w00000t! Go me!

 

Hi, Narc ---

 

Congrats on 100 posts. I'll bet your next hundred will come even quicker.

GA is outstanding in my book! The stories are great...but it's the TERRIFIC PEOPLE that post in the forums that make me log on to GA more than any other site now.

 

BTW, Congratulations on your story, Narc. I'm loving it! And you get extra points from me for using Evanescense music in Chapter 5. Don't you dare stop writing!

 

--- Al

[Jack Scribe]

I wonder if the US will ever go metric.

-Kevin

 

When I was a kid there was serious movement to 'to go metric.' That's why today liquor and wine is packaged in ml/liters. However, Congress, in their wisdom, rescinded legislation because there was too much backlash from the public about conversion. People felt that it would just be too hard to learn. :wacko:

[Formosa]

Love that spoof on Al-gebra. Al-gore should be careful in this day and age. And that other one on the lying clock made me almost choke on the chocolate I was munching on.

 

What do people mean it's difficult to convert to metric?

Mile>Km just divide by 0.6214

Pint>Litre just multiply by 3.7854

Pound>Kg just divide by 0.4536

 

It's elementary maths, not weapons of maths destruction!

[Red_A]

....

....

Pint>Litre just multiply by 3.7854

....

UM UM I think that is

Gals (US Liquid)>Litre just multiply by 3.7854

Gals (UK Liquid)>Litre just multiply by 4.5460

 

PS just wait until you have to convert US cups to English cups to Metric cups To New Zealand cups. That is mind confusing

[Graeme]

I've pretty well spent most of my life with the metric system, but for some reason I still think of people's heights in feet and inches. It's the ONLY thing that I don't think in metric... and I really don't know why.

[AFriendlyFace]

LMAO! mine's working fine... but maybe I should hump it too just so it doesn't stop working. But i'm gonna have to go outside to do it and figure out which unit is ours.. it's not a window unit soo.. yeah.

 

Anyway.. funny stuff! loved it!

 

PLEASE! LET IT BE FALL!

 

P.S. OMG... I have 100 posts now! I have been a member of alot of forums, but this is the first time i got as far as a centennial post! w00000t! Go me!

Congrats on 100, Lawrence!!

 

Hi, Narc ---

 

Congrats on 100 posts. I'll bet your next hundred will come even quicker.

GA is outstanding in my book! The stories are great...but it's the TERRIFIC PEOPLE that post in the forums that make me log on to GA more than any other site now.

 

BTW, Congratulations on your story, Narc. I'm loving it! And you get extra points from me for using Evanescense music in Chapter 5. Don't you dare stop writing!

 

--- Al

I completely agree with all that, Al!

 

When I was a kid there was serious movement to 'to go metric.' That's why today liquor and wine is packaged in ml/liters. :wacko:

LOL, great time for people to start trying to learn metric!....they wouldn't remember in the morning anyway

 

Have a great day all!

Kevin

[Boxerdude]

Oh thank GOD, we got some rain the the Temp went down to 92!!!!!!

 

I am hoping for an early fall!!!! This heat is starting to drain me!! We are having to water the foundation just to keep the clay from pulling away so the foundation does not crack!! Maybe I need water, I know I am cracking!! "like a nut" Okay, bad joke.

 

I thougth about going to the neigbors for a dip in the pool, they said to bring soap and a towel because it is like bath water, sigh

 

Well, let's just hope it does not last that much longer!! Hang in there my fellow Texans!!!!

 

 

David