starboardtack
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Everything posted by starboardtack
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Chapter 4 - The Journey
starboardtack commented on Lenny Bruce's story chapter in Chapter 4 - The Journey
This was an extraordinarily hard chapter to get through — so much pain! So very real. -
This is an incredible beginning — sensitive, evocative. Strong character development and storytelling. I am looking forward to reading more.
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This is really good. I hope you do not go in the direction of the cliche in which Liam has a life threatening accident and Dylan has a flash of insight that he really does still love him and they live happily ever after. You have such a good beginning here — it would be a shame to waste it.
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I am struggling with the decision to hit print and turn it in. It feels too rushed and contrived. There is no basis for Zack making himself so vulnerable to a teacher who he does not trust, indeed a teacher he believes has it in for him. The device that it is supposed to be a work of fiction he is turning in does not overcome this. Don׳t get me wrong — this is a fantastic story. It is so very real and honest. I just am not sure about this choice point. Nevertheless, I am very much looking forward to future installments.
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Chapter 21 - This Was My Life
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 21 - This Was My Life
Thank you for an intelligent, fun, sexy read. -
Chapter 7 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
starboardtack commented on Headstall's story chapter in Chapter 7 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Fantastic imagery.- 114 comments
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Chapter 18 - Where Penn Confronts Everyone
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 18 - Where Penn Confronts Everyone
Great chapter -
Your writing skills — imagery, attention to detail, descriptions, staying true to your story line — are excellent. Thank you for treating your craft with such respect. I also appreciate they way you handled Sawyer’s in-breaking awareness of the events and changes he is experiencing. You could have had him react with horror, aggression, or rejection, but you did not fall into the use of horror movie cliches or tropes associated with the genre. You kept Sawyer true to his history of radical honesty and self-awareness. I am looking forward to seeing how these characters develop and grow.
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I assume the repeat of text at the end of this chapter was intentional. Whether intentional or not, it was a very effective device. A very well written chapter. One observation — I am not a fan of overly precocious child characters. Their roles tend to be carried too far and, for me, Sam is beginning to detract from the story. Yeah, I know I am going to catch hell for that but, I promise you, I am not a Scrooge! I do love kids. Especially mine.
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Chapter 17 - When game night isn't so fun
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 17 - When game night isn't so fun
Nash calling out the family was a good way to go with this part of the story. Nice job.- 24 comments
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Parts of this chapter had a very Walt Whitman Leaves of Grass, I Sing the Body Electric feel. You did a masterful job writing this chapter.
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This was the most heartfelt, sensitive chapter so far. The conversation between Betty and Aric was so loving but it seems unfair to single out that moment because there are others as well in this chapter. This story is so rich. Thank you.
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A hard chapter to read but an excellent one.
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Ummmmm......... WOW. I am intrigued as to how absorbing the demons will impact Chris and the story line. Curiouser and Curiouser
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I, for one, keep searching for stories set in the West and am so pleased you have written another story in this genre. Not only do I enjoy the genre but I enjoy your writing as well. Keep 'em coming. And thanks.
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“Oh the tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive.”
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I have binge read these stories over the last few days and your chronicles of the messiness of life is what has kept my attention. They are so much more than The expected “tab A fits into slot B” and they all loved and loved happily ever after, after they had a good shag. I appreciate your craftsmanship and look forward to more stories written on lined paper.
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It would have been all too easy in real life, and all too cliche in a story, for Nick to “give in to his passions.” You set up and wisely left the moral dilemma unresolved. Good work.
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Those Moments of Silence
starboardtack commented on Drew Payne's story chapter in Those Moments of Silence
My father did not talk to me for 4 years when I converted from Judaism to Christianity (long story, no assumptions please). When he finally did open the door again, I had a feeling that we did not have enough time to go through another estrangement so I never came out to him. What once was a vibrant, open, and close relationship became stilted and guarded as I made sure not to come too close to the truth in any of our times together. I was right — he died a year later. I am clear that I made the right decision but it is a decision I always will regret. This story captures that part of my life. -
So glad you did not tie this up with a pretty ribbon and make it nice. You handled this just right.
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The scope of your imagination is astounding.
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Intelligent, well written fun. Good story!
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Chapter 8 - Going Commando
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 8 - Going Commando
You are such a great story teller. Your pacing, characters, inner and outer dialogues, and scenes are spot on. I am very curious what you will do with Penn, Nash and Cam. I hope you do not have Nash and Penn betray or come close to betraying Cam the way Lee and Paul betrayed Nash. Can you avoid the stereotype of the uncontrollable lust of the gay man? That would be too cliche and so far you have avoided most of them — except for repeated references to Penn’s utter perfection. A delicious cliche but a cliche nevertheless. LOL -
Chapter 6 - Trying to Cope
starboardtack commented on Mrsgnomie's story chapter in Chapter 6 - Trying to Cope
Another excellent chapter.
