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lawfulneutralmage

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  1. lawfulneutralmage
    I came to this story from the author's interview here: Worth a read!
  2. lawfulneutralmage
    If you are not a native English speaker, the mystery that you created in the first chapter was really masterful. It was not written, not obvious, but, at least for me, clearly there. Well, maybe because I am not a native speaker either... I wondered about 12 inches (30 cm), not 11 Somehow I doubt that such a length is a blessing. Ok, I will take it for face value, let's read on. Thx for answering!
  3. lawfulneutralmage
    Touche Well, sorry, I have been tainted to look for hidden meanings and interpretations. One reason I struggle with "literature" is "hidden meanings". I remember discussing in school a Hemingway scene about a red sundown whose description stretched nearly two pages. The interpretation was even longer, so I asked the teacher that if Hemingway wanted to say all these things why did he not write that down?
  4. lawfulneutralmage

    Alone 4

    lawfulneutralmage commented on WolfM's story chapter in Alone 4

    As for the general situation and your making it through, I cannot say anything that has not been said before. My deepest respect! This stands in stark contrast to this lowlife that dares wearing the uniform. As former police officer myself I am utterly, utterly disgusted! Reading this made me so angry! I can only urge you to report him, even after all this time, because who knows what this criminal in uniform is up to in addition to that! It may well be that such a report will lead to an investigation that exposes him.
  5. lawfulneutralmage
    Ok, some explanations, thank you. I just wonder about these enormous dicks. Is there any reason for that? Also, in this chapter, Jeffrey is described as 12 inches (is that anatomically even possible ?), and I seem to remember that in a previous chapter it was described as 9 inches. Maybe check.
  6. lawfulneutralmage
    That was a very interesting read, because my default filter for stories is "completed"... So, I thought about why that is, apart from a part in my techie brain stating "that is obvious, a stiry must have a closure". I think that for me the answer is twofold: 1. It is the time necessary to invest into something unknown. But is that not the case with every new story? 2. Remembering exactly what happened before to jump back "in" some time later. But can the author not "pack/roll up" a chapter nicely? Hm... still unsure...
  7. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 1

    lawfulneutralmage commented on Jeff Burton's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Yes, please make a series. There must be more interesting stories.
  8. lawfulneutralmage
    Can you give any sources with evidence, direct or indirect, for your claim? You have a "dr" in your nick, do you have a PhD or have you ever made a scientific publication? I am not trying to anger you or anyone else. I find making such a statement without any supporting evidence very dangerous. People like us (assumption here, sorry if assuming that you are LGBTQ+ is incorrect) are very quickly at the receiving end of statements made without any supporting evidence like "all homos are pedophiles."
  9. lawfulneutralmage
    Well written and still mysterious. Thank you.
  10. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 7

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 7

    Seems Kieran is in for a ride with enemies at the inside in addition to those at the outside. Teenagers professing eternal love? Hm...
  11. lawfulneutralmage
    https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.1088/1748-9326/ac2966 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IOP_Publishing
  12. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 6

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 6

    That is a difficult one. He killed his own mother, now a zombie. That was we written. But the next day, he just shrugs it off, or at least, I get the impression he does. Lucas'es dad should somehow have been helping Kieran. I am not convinced that mixing the killing of the mother and the leering shop keeper in one chapter was the best idea.
  13. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 5

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 5

    Excellent! And now now it hits home. Again, very reasonable actions and good descriptions.
  14. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 4

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 4

    This is really good. Now, the first "zombies" are actually out and not recognized as such. At the same time, the two boys build their relationship fine. I think this is well crafted.
  15. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 3

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 3

    A last glimpse of hope before pandemonium, I reckon. I really like the integration of the disease progression in everyday life.
  16. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 2

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 2

    Very goo integration of game info with character lives.
  17. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 1

    lawfulneutralmage commented on PatrickOBrien's story chapter in Chapter 1

    Nice and innocent introduction to the characters. They do not know what is coming fro them...
  18. lawfulneutralmage
    Good pacing and character introduction. I would be very annoyed in Jacob's position... but something seems off... The three guys behave oddly. So, if there is a mystical/supernatural link, it is very well hidden, but still there.
  19. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 1

    lawfulneutralmage commented on Geron Kees's story chapter in Chapter 1

    I can only agree with the other posts. That was excellent. If people just generally would talk more with each other than about each other...
  20. lawfulneutralmage
    2 hours ago, Refugium said: I had a friend who had that terrible disease whose principal symptom is involuntary poetry reading. If I remember correctly, the disease is called "high school." He organized Prose-a-Thons to raise funds to find a cure. Let me assure you that the acute phase of that disease was long ago. However, I still suffer the after effects...
  21. lawfulneutralmage
    This is my first ever voluntarily read poem, and I was notdisappointed. Thank you!
  22. lawfulneutralmage
    Sorry to be a pain, but as far as I know, wee (scottish) = small/little, so "wee lad".
  23. lawfulneutralmage
    I did a lighter version of my role-playing characters. This is much better.
  24. lawfulneutralmage
    That is good! I will use that for role-playing characters!
  25. lawfulneutralmage

    Chapter 1

    lawfulneutralmage commented on Comicality's story chapter in Chapter 1

    I have the same issue, commenting on a story from years ago just does not feel right. But yes, as written here, feedback is very important.
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