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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Thwarted - 17. Chapter Seventeen

Prompt: "May I help you with that?"

“So, are you nervous?” Jackie drizzled syrup over her waffles before passing it to Mark.
“A little, but I keep telling myself it’s a good thing.” Mark drenched his pancakes and set the syrup aside. They’d been talking about the upcoming meeting with Trey’s parents.

“Not that I disagree, but how so?”

“Well, as much as I hope that nothing happens, if Trey got hurt while he’s gone, his parents are the ones who’d be notified.” Mark cut up his pancakes, took a bite, and tried to get his thoughts in order. “While I’d hope they’d call me if Trey asked them to, they’re more likely to if they know me.”

“Yeah, I can see that. It would be weird for them to call someone they’d never met, though I hope that it remains a rhetorical situation.” Jackie took a bite of her waffles, her eyes closing and a small moan escaping.

“That good huh?” Mark snickered but had to admit his pancakes were delicious.

“Oh shut up, it’s just nice to be able to enjoy a meal that I didn’t have to cook for once.” Jackie set her fork down and took a sip of coffee. “So, have you decided what you’re going to do while Trey is gone?”

“I’m trying to decide between a couple of different options.” Mark pushed his plate away, the talk about Trey leaving and the thought of anything happening to him had made Mark’s appetite flee. “I had thought about starting school while he was gone, but even with the G.I. Bill, I’m not sure if I can swing it.”

“The G.I. Bill would cover everything wouldn’t it?”

“It should, and I’ve got some money saved up, but I’m wondering if I should put off school for a year and work for the year that Trey’s gone.” Mark leaned back in his chair and studied his sister. “The biggest plus to that versus going to school is that I’d be able to take time off when Trey was on R and R, whereas there’d be no guarantee I’d be on break from school.”

“Makes sense, the biggest question is, what do you want to do?” Jackie pushed her own plate away and leaned back in her chair.

“I don’t know. I do want to go back to school, but I really don’t want to live in the dorms. I can also see the benefits of working for a year, but then I wonder how much I’d actually be able to save with paying rent and my other bills for the year.” Mark couldn’t hold back the sigh that escaped him. He honestly wouldn’t know for sure what he was going to do until he actually sat down and figured out all of the financial aspects. “That’s actually what I’m going to be doing this afternoon.”

“May I help you with that? You do have another option, if you want it.”

“I do?” Mark wracked his brain trying to think of what he’d overlooked. What other option was there besides school or work?

“Well, not really another option so much as something else to go with whatever option you decide to go with.” Jackie paused for a minute and sipped at her coffee before focusing again on Mark. “I’d have to talk it over a bit more with Brent, but we’ve discussed it before.”

“Are you going to keep me guessing or are you going to tell me?” Mark hated it when Jackie pulled this crap. She loved to drag stuff out and keep him thinking, when all he wanted was for her to spit it out.

“You could come stay with us.”

Mark choked on his coffee, but before he could argue she held up her hand.

“Before you argue, listen to me for a minute. I think you should hold off on school for a year. Find yourself a job and put everything you can away, that way you won’t have to worry about working while you’re going to school. With everything you save, plus your G.I. Bill, you can focus solely on school, at least for the first couple of years.”

“I can’t do that, Jackie.” Mark couldn’t let his sister support him, it just wasn’t in him.

“Yes you can, it would be great to have you around.” Jackie set her cup down and reached over and took Mark’s hand in her own. “Look, I’m not expecting an answer from you right now, but at least give it some thought. You’d have your family around you while Trey’s gone. You’d get to spend a lot of time with your nephew, and you’d get to save up some money so you wouldn’t have to work while you go to school.”

“Don’t you think it would be weird? Me living with you and your family?” He was an adult who was used to living on his own. Then again, he was with Trey, so it wasn’t like he’d be bringing dates back to his sister’s house all the time.

“Look, at least think about it.” Jackie pushed her chair back from the table and stood before walking over and kissing Mark on the cheek. “I’m going to go do some errands, but take some time to think, and if you want to talk about it some more, meet me at my place for lunch, okay?”

Jackie didn’t wait for an answer and when Mark looked up again, his sister was gone.

Honestly, I'm still not sure I'm entirely happy with this chapter. I'd love to know your thoughts!
Copyright © 2016 Renee Stevens; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Chapter Comments

I agree with both the reviewers, but especially Suvitar. It's practical and Jackie is really sweet to make this offer to Mark, but as Suvitar said, she's a meddler and Mark wouldn't want her meddling in his work, or school, or whatever he decides to do.

 

Then on the other hand, it would be nice not having to pay rent and utilities. He could make it up to Jackie by babysitting, and cleaning a bit here and there. He'd also be right with family for those lonely days that are sure to come once Trey is deployed.

 

I'm not sure if putting off school for a year is a good idea. I know a lot of people say they'll go to work for year and then go back to school, but sometimes that never happens.

 

So many possibilities, Renee - I look forward to reading more. :)

Don't have our hero go to school unless he knows what he want to do and has some reasonable expectation of accomplishing it. It seems a lot of the current generation got degrees and then advanced degrees and still ended up in entry level jobs or retail. Work experience counts more these days especially for those under age 40.

I ditto some of the other concerns about moving in with his sister's family. Being close is one thing. Living in their house is another, especially after he has already been on his own.

On 12/09/2013 12:43 AM, Terry P said:
I like this chapter - short, but sweet. It's nice to know that Mark has his sister on his side - and I think her offer (suggestions) are good ones.
Thanks for the review Terry! Glad that you enjoyed the chapter. It's been difficult to move the story along with the short chapters but I'm trying. I can see certainly see the benefits behind Jackie's offer, but I can also see the downfalls as well. Thanks again and hope you continue to enjoy the story!
On 12/09/2013 05:53 AM, Suvitar said:
Nice of Jackie to offer Mark a chance to save his money for school, but not so sure it´d work for either of them. Jackie likes to meddle into Mark´s life and with Trey away, she might do that even more. But the offer sounds very practical :*)
Thanks for the review Suvitar! Yes, it was nice of her to offer, but I can definitely see your points. She is a bit meddlesome, and while it's only because she cares, sometimes she takes it a bit too far. Sometimes being practical might not be the best solution, lol.
On 12/09/2013 06:59 AM, Lisa said:
I agree with both the reviewers, but especially Suvitar. It's practical and Jackie is really sweet to make this offer to Mark, but as Suvitar said, she's a meddler and Mark wouldn't want her meddling in his work, or school, or whatever he decides to do.

 

Then on the other hand, it would be nice not having to pay rent and utilities. He could make it up to Jackie by babysitting, and cleaning a bit here and there. He'd also be right with family for those lonely days that are sure to come once Trey is deployed.

 

I'm not sure if putting off school for a year is a good idea. I know a lot of people say they'll go to work for year and then go back to school, but sometimes that never happens.

 

So many possibilities, Renee - I look forward to reading more. :)

Thanks for the review Lisa. I can see from the reviews I've gotten over the idea of Mark living with Jackie everyone has a lot of reservations about her offer.

 

The biggest idea behind him possibly staying with her was to save on the utilities, rent, and other bills, but also, knowing Mark, he wouldn't have gone for that. Regarding the school thing, I can understand the reservations with putting school off. I did and it took me forever to go back, and when I finally did, it didn't go well. Guess we'll just have to see how the story unfolds :).

On 12/09/2013 07:53 AM, Daddydavek said:
Don't have our hero go to school unless he knows what he want to do and has some reasonable expectation of accomplishing it. It seems a lot of the current generation got degrees and then advanced degrees and still ended up in entry level jobs or retail. Work experience counts more these days especially for those under age 40.

I ditto some of the other concerns about moving in with his sister's family. Being close is one thing. Living in their house is another, especially after he has already been on his own.

Thanks for the review Daddy Dave! That was definitely one of my reservations with having him go to school, he's still not sure what he wants to do. Add in the finance situation and it sounds to me like a disaster waiting to happen. I definitely know what you mean about living with family after living on one's own... it's definitely hard to handle. I've done it and it was so not fun. I couldn't wait to get out of there and it strained the relationship for quite a while. Hope you continue to enjoy the story!

Not sure why you were not entirely happy with this chapter, Renee. I think it brought a number of things together and then opened up new things to explore in the future: kind of like a little landing as you head up a flight of stairs. I was glad to see Jackie and Mark come back together, and whether or not he accepts the offer of living with them, it was a generous offer. It might not be easy for Mark after living alone, but it also might not be easy for them having another adult in the house. From my experience, a lot depends on the space and how separated it is possible to be when needed. It will certainly be an incredible bonding experience with his nephew, one that will likely be important to each of them for the rest of their lives. Glad I still have a few more chapters to read... :great:

On 02/02/2014 03:18 AM, hillj69 said:
Not sure why you were not entirely happy with this chapter, Renee. I think it brought a number of things together and then opened up new things to explore in the future: kind of like a little landing as you head up a flight of stairs. I was glad to see Jackie and Mark come back together, and whether or not he accepts the offer of living with them, it was a generous offer. It might not be easy for Mark after living alone, but it also might not be easy for them having another adult in the house. From my experience, a lot depends on the space and how separated it is possible to be when needed. It will certainly be an incredible bonding experience with his nephew, one that will likely be important to each of them for the rest of their lives. Glad I still have a few more chapters to read... :great:
I agree that living with his sister could be both good and bad depending on how you look at it. I do think that having Jackie around, whether or not they're living together, will be a really good thing once Trey goes off on his deployment. As for not being entirely happy with this chapter, I'm not sure on why either, I think a lot of it is just that I am overly critical of my own work. As my betas and editors would tell you, I'm my own worst critic! Thank you for the review!!!

So many questions raised with this chapter, and they all lie in the motive of this offer.

It sounds lovely, but call me a suspicious guy or something. Maybe I am just too cynical to believe in a good thing...

It might be a really great offer, and a sensible decision. Being around family would be good support for the time Trey is away, but it could also be a pain in the arse. Independence is such a big thing to loose.

Then I do have this inkling worry that this maybe Jackie's controlling nature emerging despite her good intentions.

Oh the quandary.

For what it is worth, even if you are not totally happy with the chapter, it does throw an interesting twist into the plot. :) Not sure if that was completely the intention, but it works. :P

On 07/16/2014 03:34 PM, Yettie One said:
So many questions raised with this chapter, and they all lie in the motive of this offer.

It sounds lovely, but call me a suspicious guy or something. Maybe I am just too cynical to believe in a good thing...

It might be a really great offer, and a sensible decision. Being around family would be good support for the time Trey is away, but it could also be a pain in the arse. Independence is such a big thing to loose.

Then I do have this inkling worry that this maybe Jackie's controlling nature emerging despite her good intentions.

Oh the quandary.

For what it is worth, even if you are not totally happy with the chapter, it does throw an interesting twist into the plot. :) Not sure if that was completely the intention, but it works. :P

Thanks for the review Mr. Yettie! That is definitely one of the big questions that needs answered. Exactly why is Jackie making the offer. You know the old adage, right? If something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. That's kind of how I see Jackie's offer. It was my intention to put the twist into the plot, and I'm really not sure why I wasn't happy with the chapter, just something seemed off to me, but that was just probably me being overly critical of my own work. Glad you enjoyed it!
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