Flux - 5. Chapter 5

June 8, 2002

Escorial, CA

“You’re right on time,” I said to Ben pleasantly as I strolled into the kitchen. He looked as magnificent in jeans and a polo shirt as he did in his work clothes. I couldn’t help but notice the way his biceps bulged the armband of his polo.

“Actually, I’m early,” he corrected. “I got here about half an hour ago to give Professor Crampton an update.”

“Did you promise him that it would be done by July 10th?” I asked. Inasmuch as one could tell, JP was agitated about that, worrying that the rooms would be ready for our big party on July 14th.

“I did. We may even be a day or two early, since we’re putting the dining room off, but I didn’t tell him that,” he joked. “I like to have some wiggle room.”

“Smart man,” I said.

“He seems like one of those guys who are really nice, unless you piss him off,” he said, referring to JP.

“You have no idea,” I said, chuckling. “You ready to go?”

“Where are we going?” he asked nervously.

“The City,” I answered.

“Why’d you ask me if I had a suit?” he asked, and looked at my clothes. I was dressed like him, with jeans and a polo shirt. “Guess I picked out something that works.”

“It works, for now,” I said mysteriously. I’d told him to dress casually, but I planned to change all that. “Come on.” I led him out front to where the limo was waiting for us. Pedro held the door open. He had volunteered to drive us today, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew Will had set him up to do it, so he could spy on us.

“Where would you like me to take you?” Pedro asked.

“Union Square,” I answered, and told him the name of the shop. “Then you can take my things over to the Fairmont. They have a room reserved for me. Ask them to hang up my clothes for me.”

“Of course,” he said, making notes.

“Thanks, Pedro,” I said with a smile, and then we got into the limo.

“A date with you is certainly fancy,” Ben said.

“Who said this is a date?”

“Dude, you got us a hotel room,” he said. “That’s pretty forward.”

I laughed. “It’s tough to be in the City all day, then to have nowhere to change and relax before dinner. I solved that problem.”

“That would do it,” he said. “So are you going to tell me the plan, or are you going to surprise me?”

“Which one do you want?”

“I’m fine either way,” he said calmly.

“Really?” I asked. He nodded. He was so relaxed about things; it was like a tonic.

“Why does that surprise you?”

I laughed. “I’m kind of a control freak.” It stunned me that I admitted that so freely.

“Yeah, I heard about that,” he said.

“From who?” I challenged.

“Not to rat anyone out, but I spend a lot of time with your son,” he said. I knew he was talking about Will.

“If he bothers you, we’ll restrain him,” I said, wondering exactly how I’d accomplish that.

He laughed. “No. Don’t. I like him. He’s so full of life, and energy, and he gets things so fast. That kid is really smart.”

“He is,” I said proudly. “I’ve noticed that over the past year, he’s developing the ability to look at things on a bigger level.”

“What do you mean?”

“When he was younger, he’d take events and evaluate them in isolation. So if something happened to bug him, he’d deal with it head on without thinking that it may be part of a bigger issue, and that his direct way of handling things may set off an unpleasant series of events. He’s starting to see the connections more.” I paused, because I felt I was talking more to myself than him, but he seemed somewhat interested, so I pressed on. “People see that as him becoming more mature, but I think it’s really learning to see those connections that make him seem that way. It tempers the way he reacts to things, and how he handles tough situations.”

“Maybe that’s what maturity is all about,” he said.

“Maybe it is,” I said. “What about you? Where are you from?”

“Portland,” he said. “Lots of trees up there. Guess that’s why I like working with wood.”

“How many people make stupid jokes about that?” I asked.

“Too many,” he said, smiling ruefully. “They act like I’ve never heard that before. ‘Hey, can you work on my wood?’” he said, mimicking an idiot.

I laughed. “It’s one of those things that seem to be a good icebreaker if you don’t think about it too hard.”

“Yeah, but it’s lame,” he said.

“So what do you do with wood, besides stripping and staining it?” I asked. He studied me, as if trying to decide if I was making another lame joke, then answered my question.

“That’s just part of it. I do carpentry. I make furniture; cabinets, tables, chairs, all kinds of shit. I like doing different things, but I like working with stuff that’s old, so that’s how I got involved in restoration projects like I’m doing in your Great Hall.”

“You like working with old things, so that’s why you’re working with JP?” I asked, more of a private joke.

“Right,” he said with a scowl, defending the guy who was paying his bill.

“Do you do most of your stuff onsite?” I asked, and got nervous that I was grilling the guy, but it didn’t seem to bother him.

“Having a store in town wouldn’t work. Real estate is expensive in the Bay area,” he said; a reality we all dealt with. “I’ve got a small place in the Santa Cruz hills. Basically two bedrooms and a workshop. It’s all I need. I work there, doing custom projects, but I do the installation on site.”

“I guess that means you don’t have a family,” I said.

“That’s what that means,” he said, but didn’t expand on it. “Maybe sometime I’ll show it to you. I’ll have to clean up first.”

“I’d like that, but you don’t have to clean up for me,” I said. “I’m a control freak, not a neat freak.” He chuckled at that.

“So what do you do?” he asked.

“I’ve basically got two jobs. I’m the chairman of the board of Triton, which is based in Connecticut, and I’m the vice-chairman of Carruthers & Schluter, a venture capital firm based here,” I said.

“No wonder you’re busy. So you have to be in two places at the same time?”

I shook my head. “The chairman of the board is really involved in what the company does, but not the operations. I’m not a manager, so I don’t have line authority. That’s the CEO’s job. I spend most of my time working with him on strategic planning. I usually spend a week or two in Connecticut every month.”

“What’s your other job?”

“That’s all about investments and venture capital funding. For investments, we look at different projects to invest it. That usually means real estate, or natural resources.”

“Like forests?” he asked.

“Yeah, but I’m not sure if we have any of those in our portfolio right now,” I said, mentally doing an inventory of our holdings. “The venture capital side of the business focuses on new businesses, on start-ups. Companies that need money come to us; we look at their business plan, and then decide whether or not to fund them. If we do, we buy a piece of the company.”

He thought about that. “Sounds pretty risky.”

“It is,” I explained. “You have to know what you’re doing. We’re lucky in that regard. We have a really good team. We make some mistakes, but we win more than we lose, and when you win in this business, you usually win big.”

“Is that how Stefan made his money?” he asked.

“You should read one of his biographies,” I said. “He actually got his start in real estate, but morphed into venture capital funding.”

“What made him decide to do that?” he asked.

“A hot guy fucked him,” I said flatly, but that made us both laugh.

“Having met him, I can see that,” he said. “Will is a lot like him.”

“In some ways,” I agreed. “I can see traits in Will from Stef, from JP, and from me. He gets most of the bad ones from me.”

“So when he’s hitting on me all the time, that’s the one he got from you?” he flirted.

“Is he good at it?”

“No,” he joked.

“Then he got it from me,” I said, and we laughed some more.

“I’m not his type. I’m a 30-year-old carpenter. He’s a high school kid,” he said. That answered the age question: so he was thirty.

“He wouldn’t have a problem with that,” I said with a grimace.

“If I was his age, I’d be all over him.” That answered the other question: he was at least bisexual. It dawned on me that I’d just assumed that, based on our interactions, and the way he seemed interested in me, but I hadn’t really found out for sure until then.

“So it’s not his game?”

“It’s not his game,” he said. “He’s pretty good. He puts himself out there, so you know what he’s all about.”

“He’s pretty expressive,” I agreed.

“You don’t do that,” he said seriously, as if that were profound.

“No, I don’t,” I said. “Maybe that’s what happens when you’re almost forty.”

“Does that freak you out? Hitting forty?”

I thought about it. “Not really. I may feel differently about it in October, but right now, it doesn’t seem like that big of a deal.” I was so different than Robbie when it came to aging. He’d lost it for a while as he grappled with aging, and almost destroyed our relationship over getting older.

“That’s because you don’t look forty,” he said. “I would have pegged you as being a year or two older than me.” I smiled at that nice compliment.

“So you date older men?” I flirted

“So this is a date,” he accused, making me laugh.

“I’ll let you know later on,” I said.

Our conversation was cut short when we pulled up to the boutique. I paused to call the Fairmont and tell them that Pedro would be dropping our stuff off, and then I led Ben into the store. It was a very upscale men’s clothing store that focused on business attire, and it was obvious Ben felt pretty out of place. He stuck pretty close to me, not that I was complaining. The manager, an older man from South America, walked up to me with a huge smile. “It is good to see you, Mr. Schluter,” he said. I saw Ben look surprised that he knew who I was. You didn’t get this kind of service at Macys.

“It’s good to see you too, Fermin,” I said. “I messed up a couple of suits, so I need to replace them. This is Ben Carter. He needs a nice suit, one that he can wear out, or for business.”

“And this is the one you need us to finish today?”

“That’s the one,” I said.

One of the assistants pulled Ben aside and measured him. I was guessing, based on his frowns, that the guy did some relatively benign groping. Hard to blame him. While he was doing that, I showed Fermin which suits I needed to have remade. We finished quickly enough, and then went over to see how Ben was doing.

“What color suit do you want?” Fermin asked him.

Ben looked at me, slightly confused, asking me with his expression to help him out. “Dark, probably blue,” I said, gauging his coloring.

“I agree,” Fermin said. Ben didn’t say much while we made him try things on, until we found one that really looked good on him. It was dark blue, with a very small blue stripe in it. It was subtle, but interesting.

“I like this one,” Ben said.

“I like it too,” I agreed. “It looks great on you.”

“It most certainly does,” Fermin said, appreciating how good Ben looked in such nice clothes.

“This is the one,” I declared. Fermin called over a young man and they measured the sleeves, making markings as they went, and then did the same thing to the shoulders and the sides.

“If you will hand that to me, we’ll get started on it,” Fermin said.

Ben took the jacket off, and paused to look at it closely. “There’s no price on this.”

“Then it must be free,” I joked. He made to argue, but then let it go. They measured his pants, and I winked at him when the guy measured his inseam, and almost laughed at the dirty look I got in response. After that, we picked out a shirt and a tie, then left to go walk around while they altered the suit so it would fit him. “Shoes,” I said.

“Dude, how much is this going to cost me?” he asked nervously.

“Nothing,” I said. “It’s a gift.”

“I can’t take a gift like that,” he insisted. “I barely know you, and most of the time I’ve known you, I haven’t liked you.” That was pretty funny.

“Maybe you’ll like me if I buy you a suit,” I said, flirting.

“But then that makes me a whore,” he said.

“Cool,” I said, winking at him.

He chuckled, and then frowned. “I don’t want to be indebted to you.”

“Why would you be indebted to me?” I asked. “I was a total dick to you, and this is a way that I can do something nice to make it up to you.”

“You were a dick,” he said. “But you said you were sorry. That’s payback enough.” I was getting annoyed, and had a flashback to when Robbie and I had dealt with Wally and Clara about money, where the conversations were disturbingly similar.

“No, it’s not,” I said. “Let me assuage my guilt.”

“Assuage?”

“Make it better, make it go away,” I explained.

“It makes me uncomfortable,” he said.

“Alright, you’re killing my buzz and my plan for a fun day,” I said firmly. He grimaced. “I’ve got a deal for you.”

“Go on.”

“I’m buying you a suit, and some shoes,” I said, as I stopped outside my favorite shoe store. “And I’m taking you out to a nice dinner.”

“What do I have to do in exchange?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“What do you want to do?” I asked, flirting.

“Is this where I get to be a whore?” he asked, but I could tell it bothered him.

“I’d probably like that better,” I teased. “But I have a different idea.”

“What?”

“Make me something.”

“You want me to make you something? What am I supposed to make you?” he asked, confused.

“You’re a carpenter. Make me something,” I said dismissively.

He thought about that, and smiled. “I can do that. Is that it?”

“That and I get to make a least three lame ass wood jokes every time we go out,” I said.

“Who says I’m going out with you again? You’re assuming you’ll get a second date,” he flirted.

“So you’ve decided this is a date?” I challenged. He frowned, because I’d trapped him.

“I’m not sure yet,” he said, almost mimicking me. We walked up to the cable car line and bought tickets.

“Neither am I,” I answered honestly. “Are you having a good enough time to stay up here with me tonight?”

He got nervous. “Dude, I don’t know about that.”

“Trust me,” I said, to see if he would. “You’ll be fine. I won’t hurt you.”

He frowned. “Fine.”

I pulled out my phone. “Good. Since that’s settled, I’m getting rid of our spy.”

“Spy?” I was having fun confusing the shit out of him.

“Pedro pretty much works for Will, that’s why he’s along. Will wants to know what we do, and if we have fun,” I said.

“That’s kind of creepy,” he said.

“No, it’s not like that,” I told him “He’s just worried about me, and likes to keep tabs on me when he can.”

“Because of Robbie?” he asked. Somehow, his mentioning Robbie’s name just freaked me out. I didn’t know why, but it did. I stared at him, a stunned expression on my face for a few seconds, until I pulled myself together.

“Because of Robbie,” I confirmed, and then distracted myself by calling Pedro.

“Yes, Mr. Schluter?” Pedro asked as he answered.

“Did you drop everything off?” I asked.

“I did. I made sure your clothes were hung up in your closet,” he said.

“Thanks Pedro. I appreciate it. You can head back.”

I could feel his confusion, because he figured we’d keep him around all day to drive us. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. Have them send a car to pick us up at 9:30 tomorrow morning,” I said, looking at Ben. He nodded to confirm that was OK.

“Yes, sir,” Pedro said, sounding disappointed. I hung up the phone and laughed.

“Foiled that plan,” I joked.

It wasn’t a very sunny day, but I liked the City when it was like this. It was cool, around 60 degrees, but it felt colder because it was overcast, and there was fog on top of that, so the dampness made it feel chillier still. We’d both known to bring jackets along, so we weren’t cold, and the relatively crappy weather seemed to keep some of the tourists away. We actually didn’t have to wait long for the cable car at all. “I love these things,” Ben said. He ran his hands across the wood seats in an almost seductive way.

“They are unique, and useful,” I said, as it hauled us up Nob Hill. We hopped off at the Fairmont and I went to the front desk to get my keys. The bellman led us up to the suite, which was beautiful, with a big room that had a great view of the city, or would have if not for the fog; and a bedroom on each side of it. The bellman tried to show me how stuff worked, but I didn’t want a lecture. I gave him some cash and sent him on his way.

“This is incredible,” he said.

“It’s nice,” I agreed. “That’s your room,” I said, pointing at one of the doors.

“You got me my own room?”

“I just met you,” I said. “I’m not that creepy.”

He laughed. “I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.”

“You probably should be disappointed, but you’re probably actually relieved,” I joked. “Come on, let’s get lunch.”

“What kind of food do you like?” he asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m pretty flexible.” I wasn’t too adventurous, but I did better than Robbie had. And once again, I remembered him, and had to work not to let Ben see that I did. “What about you?”

“If we’re in the City, Chinese,” he said, smiling.

“Good idea,” I said. “There’s a great place in Chinatown.”

“Duh,” he said, pointing out how obvious that was, that there would be a good Chinese restaurant in Chinatown.

“Let’s go,” I said, frustrated. We strolled down to Chinatown, and I found the restaurant that Wade and Matt had raved about.

“How’d you hear about this place?” he asked.

“Wade’s lawyer, a guy named Sean, loves this place,” I explained. “He brought Matt and Wade here, and they said it was great.” I paused. “Either that, or they have big portions,” I joked, referring to the human garbage disposals that Wade and Matt were.

We walked into the restaurant, but before we could sit down, I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Brad!”

“Hey Sean!” I said enthusiastically, and gave him a man hug, where I hugged him while shaking his hand. “Wade told me this place was your hangout, but I didn’t expect to find you here.”

“I was just finishing up some work this morning, and I decided to treat myself to lunch here,” he said.

“So you’re alone?” I asked.

“Yeah, but…”

“Join us,” I said, then introduced him to Ben. “Ben, this is Sean Massey.”

“Ben Carter,” he said, as he shook Sean’s hand. If ever there were two guys who should make a porno together, it was Sean and Ben. Ben was tall and clad with muscles, with dark brown hair. Sean’s Irish heritage showed through with his looks. He was in his late twenties, and really handsome, with dark red hair, and pale blue eyes. They both had these rugged five o’clock shadow looks going on, which made them seem incredibly masculine. Ben had a more pear-shaped face, while Sean’s was long and thin, dominated by a big nose that made him look even hotter, surprisingly enough.

It only took me a few seconds to notice that their handshake had gone on a little longer than normal and that they were both just totally transfixed by each other. I watched them, and smiled, because I knew that look. That’s how I’d felt when I’d first met Robbie all those years ago in Claremont. My mind flashed back to that scene, to him standing by some trees, flanked by a couple of friends. I remembered the look, the way his eyes locked onto mine, the way he’d had my heart from that point forward. Then once again, I was struck by how much I missed him. This happened often enough, I was getting better at reading it, and I anticipated the sadness before it hit. “I’m going to find the bathroom,” I said to Ben and Sean, but they didn’t really pay attention. The restroom was a relatively nasty thing, but I snagged the one stall and just stood there, using toilet paper to dry my eyes. I let myself miss Robbie for a while, and then got my shit together. I spent some time in front of the mirror, putting in the eye drops I’d learned to carry, then went back out to the dining room to join Ben and Sean.

I studied them from afar, watching how they interacted, in a shy but animated way, as they got to know each other. “Sorry about that,” I said, as I reached the table.

“Everyone has to go sometime,” Sean said casually. We ordered and ate, while I just faded into the background, and watched those two mesh like a zipper. I felt like a third wheel, which was kind of uncomfortable, but I was more worried that my presence would interrupt them. The way they immediately connected was really sweet, and really romantic.

Miraculously enough, my phone rang. “Excuse me,” I said to both of them, even though neither one of them had noticed me since we sat down. I got up and went outside to answer the call, which was an automated reminder that I had a doctor’s appointment next week. Their system must be messed up if it was sending out calls on Saturday afternoon, but it worked for me. I went back in the restaurant to find them engrossed in conversation with each other. “Hey, I need you to do me a favor,” I said to Ben.

“Sure,” he said, coming out of his Sean coma.

“I have a small crisis that I have to deal with, so I have to head back to Escorial.”

“Let’s go,” he said, but he didn’t want to.

“No, you stay here. I need you to go pick up our clothes from the store and bring mine back tomorrow. Enjoy the hotel room. We have dinner reservations at the restaurant there. You two go.”

“No way,” Sean objected.

“Don’t make me call your boss,” I joked. “Don’t piss off a client.” Sean was coordinating some estate planning work for us. “Dinner’s on me. Don’t argue. You’ll just make me mad.”

“Wow. Thanks Brad,” Sean said.

“You really do not have to do this,” Ben said.

“My guilt is fully assuaged,” I said, winking at him. “I’ll send a car up to get you tomorrow morning.”

“I can bring you back,” Sean offered. Ben looked at him, and shrugged.

“Sounds good,” Ben said.

I left before they could object, and went back to the Fairmont to make sure they didn’t have any problems, and to have some champagne sent up to the room. I ordered a car, and then got my clothes together, the ones Pedro had hung up so nicely. I timed it perfectly, arriving downstairs just as the car did, then got in and kicked back for the relatively long ride back to Escorial. I liked Ben, and I was enjoying getting to know him, so it was kind of disappointing that he’d been so into Sean that he’d all but blown me off, but I also knew how important those connections could be. There was just something there, like a lightning bolt that welded those two together. I shrugged, thinking that if I was wrong, I’d just see if Ben wanted to go on a second date. If I was right, then karma owed me.

I got back to Escorial and managed to sneak back to my room unobserved, so I took that opportunity to indulge myself in one of those wonderful but rare Saturday naps. I got up in time to shower and spiff up for dinner. I smiled when I thought that, since no one had seen me return, they would be pretty surprised to see me walk into the dining room.

I stopped before going into the dining room to study the crowd. It was a good group tonight, and everyone was laughing and joking, in good spirits. I paused to appreciate that. It had been so long since we’d had joy in this house, but maybe having some of these conflicts resolved had helped everyone loosen up. Matt and Wade were here, as was Gathan. I was really surprised to see that Zach was here too, since he was supposedly staying in Concord until tomorrow, but that had the benefit of bringing Frank and Mother back too. Aside from Mother, it was a rowdy and masculine crowd, but she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself.

The grandfather clock began gonging out, announcing it was seven o’clock, so I walked in and stood patiently while the staff put a place setting on the table for me next to Will. “Good evening,” I said cheerfully.

“I thought you were in the City?” Will asked, the concern obvious in his voice.

“Unless there are two of me, that’s not the case,” I said.

“You told me you had planned to have dinner with Ben,” Stef said. The two of them were like interrogators.

“I did, but I came home instead,” I said, being oblique. Will picked up the questioning again.

“Why?” he demanded. “Didn’t you have a good time?”

I started laughing. “Wade’s lawyer stole my date.”

“What?” Wade asked. “Sean stole your date?”

“Yep. Just snatched him right away,” I said, shaking my head, even as I laughed.

“Dude, we have got to work on your game,” Matt said seriously.

“Evidently,” Stef said, shaking his head at how lame I seemed. I just chuckled.

“Are you OK?” Will asked, full of concern again.

“It was actually pretty sweet,” I said, sounding like a chick. “We were having a great time, had just finished shopping.”

“The great time comes when shopping begins, not when it ends,” Stef observed, making us laugh.

“I decided to take Ben to that Chinese restaurant that you always rave about,” I said to Wade. “Sean was working this morning, and he’d gone to lunch there. So I asked him to join us.”

“Now here’s how this is supposed to work,” Matt said to me seriously. “You’re not supposed to bail on them, you’re supposed to turn it into a threesome.”

I laughed, and thought about how nice it was to have him back. When he was happy and playful like this, he just pushed energy into a room. “You should have seen how they looked at each other when I introduced them.”

“How?” Zach asked.

“It was like they just stared at each other, and made this connection,” I explained.

“Maybe Sean just had something stuck in his teeth,” Wade joked, making us all laugh.

“I can’t believe they just blew you off,” Will said, determined to defend me.

I shook my head. “I know that look. It reminded me of how I felt when I first met Robbie in Claremont.” I regretted that as soon as I said it, because that made all of them remember him, and it took this happy mood and turned it into somber ashes. “There’s just something about it, the way they looked at each other, the way they interacted, that was really intense.”

“I know that feeling,” JP said, as he looked at Stef, but I knew he didn’t believe in love at first sight, and he was just helping me move the mood back into a positive place.

“Me too,” Matt said, and looked at Wade, making Wade uncomfortable.

“They were nice to me, and I could have hung out with them, and maybe even had that threesome, but I think they deserve some time alone,” I said.

“That was a nice thing you did,” Mother said.

“Besides, maybe you’ll get lucky with that threesome after all,” Matt said, winking at me. I laughed, because that wasn’t happening, and that took us back to a fun place.

It was one of the more enjoyable dinners we’d had at Escorial, which probably had something to do with all the wine we drank. Matt, Gathan, and Wade stayed relatively sober, since they were in the midst of finals, but the rest of us cut loose. At some point, I glanced over at Stef and caught his eye, and he smiled at me knowingly. It dawned on me that bailing on those guys so they could be alone was something that he would have done, something that I picked up from him.

When dinner was over, and everyone was leaving, I got up and walked over to Stef, and held out my finger, the one I’d pricked when I was a kid and we’d become blood brothers. He smiled and pressed his finger against mine, our private gesture that had stronger meaning than a hug, or anything else. “Love takes different forms. They’re all important,” I told him.