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    Krista
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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The Best Year - 7. Chapter 7

Walking into the YMCA knowing I was about to get another ass chewing for being late and looking tired made me want to turn back around and leave. After the warm shower at home and the ride in Luke’s car I became stiff from the manual labor I put in earlier. I also couldn’t really read Luke, he seemed nervous about being my ride even though he volunteered when his mom offered to take me home. I knew that if she had, I would be sitting around at home talking to Derek or Toby or having them kidnap me for the night. By the way Mom looked as she sped out of the driveway, she likely wouldn’t be in until late.

So I wasn’t too thrilled to be stepping into Coach Tate’s line of vision. When he saw me his shoulders physically slumped, but my attention went to the girl that jumped off the bleachers and started running towards me.

“Allison!” Coach yelled after his whistle echoed through the somewhat empty pool. We had to share the pool for an hour with the rest of the people that came here. They would be leaving soon, so I knew that I was nearly an hour late. An hour late for practice, I should have been dead or at least severely maimed. That’s the only two excuses Coach would have accepted for me slinking in now. “No running in the pool area!”

“Sorry, Rick,” she offered barely glancing in his direction as she continued towards me.

“Who is that?” Luke asked standing behind me. I wished he would have just left after dropping me off, but he insisted on following me inside. I tried to lie and tell him that practice was off limits to spectators, but there were too many fucking cars left in the parking lot for that one to work. He just smiled and rolled his eyes as he got on out of the truck with me.

“My girlfriend,” I answered, not looking at him.

“So how is that going? She’s wearing a nice turtleneck in ninety degree heat.” He asked and this time I did look at him. He smirked and I shook my head cursing myself for almost laughing. I didn’t want to find him funny, I wanted him to get the fuck out of here before he witnessed Coach’s epic red-faced grilling of my ass.

“Surprise!” Allison yelled as she slammed into me. I let my bag slide off my shoulder and wrapped her into a hug. She was still wearing too many clothes for summer here and when I looked past her to Coach he shook his head and pointed to the locker rooms.

“I gotta go,” I said letting my arms fall to my side. “Before he drowns me.”

“Oh he’s mad that I’m here, I should tell you that,” she said as she took a step back. “Sorry.”

“Yeah,” I said, offering her a smile. “He’ll forget all about you when he gets into yelling distance of me.”

“See you after practice,” Luke said and for the first time Allison seemed to notice him standing beside me and I sighed.

“Hi,” she greeted smiling.

“Hey,” he said as I grabbed my bag wanting to stay between them, but I knew I couldn’t stall any longer.

“Why are you here?” She asked, glancing in my direction as I started walking.

“His ride,” Luke answered, shrugging as I narrowly dodged the door frame leading into the locker rooms. I didn’t hear her response when I entered, but I quickly changed into my swimming shorts hoping Coach wouldn’t care that I didn’t wear the full suit now that my hickies were a week or so old and not as visible.

Not wanting to leave them alone together I shoved my bag into my locker and slid my goggles over my head resting just above my eyebrows. I stretched my arms as I walked back into the pool area. Not seeing Luke or Allison right off I looked around and groaned when I saw them sitting about three feet apart on the bleachers not looking at one another. I could already tell by Allison’s crossed arms and red cheeks that she was pissed about something and when I looked back at Luke I saw that he was looking at me so I turned my back to them both and walked to the edge of the pool.

“Laps, Jackson, and if I see you break form once, you’ll be doing laps from now until college,” Coach bellowed and I nodded and jumped feet first into the cold water.

The cool water against my sunburned arms sent a shudder through me. Despite that though, I felt better, this was me bringing my dreams to life. It was easy to focus on what I had to do to get back in Coach Tate’s good graces. I just needed to get Allison and Luke out of my head. It usually didn’t cause butterflies to have people watching me practice. Hell there were usually strangers on the other side of the roped off pool section, disturbing and churning the water. That was bad enough most days, especially if you’re trying to breathe and someone just did a cannonball off the side of the pool next to your lane. If we lived in a different town, maybe they would have had a swim team, but I doubted I would be all that interested if Derek’s dad, Coach Tate, didn’t take an interest in teaching swimming and me for not being good at it.

The fact was the water allowed me to focus on it, just it, and how to make my body glide through it as efficiently as I could manage. I didn’t wonder what was outside the city limits of my stupid little hometown. I didn’t think about how I’ve managed to fuck up the last couple of weeks to the point where Mom and Dad lost complete faith in me. And I didn’t allow myself to think that both of them were proud of me, but might be more proud if I was going to school on a full academic scholarship instead of a possible swimming one, even though I had done well enough to earn it so far. The college was still taking a chance on me, not being in a school district that had swimming matches. I knew my parents believed in me though, they shelled out the money to fund the program and get me into meets through the years.

I kept doing laps, alternating between different strokes every so often so that I didn’t lose any of them. My butterfly was still a bit of a mess, but since Coach’s whistle had been silent so far I guess I was doing it well enough for him not to take special interest in me. He had the younger kids in today, but he always had me come in, being the best prospect he has. If I hadn’t pissed him off, practice would be different. He would have me practicing jumping off and making sure I made clean turns. He would be timing my progress, bitching if I was slow, and really cheering me on if I was turning out times we both knew I was capable of doing.

All the while he’d make sure all the younger swimmers were actually paying attention and not goofing off or if he had the older kids, they would most likely be focused on smoothing out the strokes they were weakest on and working on conditioning.

When I finally did take a break I pulled myself over to lay on the lane dividers. Coach was busy fussing at two girls splashing at one another, while their parents laughed and took pictures. I rolled my eyes when one grabbed a selfie stick and nearly backed into Coach trying to get her and her daughter into the same picture. It was a circus here, but it was also a place I loved coming to and there weren’t many of those places forty five minutes back home.

“Take a break Jack,” Coach yelled when he finally glanced in my direction. He frowned when he saw that I had already stopped, but I turned my back to him and pulled myself up to sit on the side of the pool letting my feet dangle in the water.

Looking around I saw that most of the recreational swimmers were packing up. The YMCA would be closing to them in a couple of minutes anyway and the better practicing could begin. The lifeguards here always looked angry, mostly because Coach Tate did their jobs for them barking at swimmers that got too close to his side of the pool or for splashing too much. It was fun to watch most days.

When I looked over and saw Allison and Luke both coming my way, Ally with a towel and Luke with his hands shoved into his pockets, neither of them smiling until they noticed I was looking at them. I sighed and wanted to end my break early. I didn’t even know why Ally was here, she had never taken interest in my swimming enough to come to practices like this, but we also hadn’t had this much time apart since we started dating either. Luke on the other hand, I thought just didn’t want to go home and face his mother, he didn’t seem to like it when I told him Coach Tate would be my ride home.

“Hi, Ally,” I greeted when she draped the towel around my shoulders and sat down beside me with her legs crossed so they wouldn’t be dangling in the water.

“Hi,” she said leaning in to kiss me, but I turned my head so she just caught my cheek.

“Coach will tell your dad,” I said, “he doesn’t like it when people distract his swimmers as it is.”

“Shut up,” she said elbowing me in the side. “I don’t care about Rick Tate knowing about us, I think he can put things together anyway.”

“How have you been?” I asked glancing over my shoulder to where Luke was still standing. He looked awkward and like he was about to go back to the bleachers. I wished he would have stayed there to begin with.

“Bored,” she said, “I feel like a fifth wheel when I hang out with the guys, they’re all making out and I have no one to make out with.”

“Maybe we can change that one of these days,” I said offering her a smile. I could feel myself blushing, but the cold water and exerting myself already made my cheeks red enough to hide it.

“You’ve been good lately, has your mom lightened up any?” She asked and I heard Luke snicker behind us and I watched as Ally shot him a glare before turning back to me.

“A little bit,” I answered thinking about the paint battle. Normal parents wouldn’t have let someone who was grounded go do something like that. Part of me didn’t like knowing that the only reason I was allowed to go was because she knew Luke wouldn’t let me get up to any trouble with my real friends. Still, I had to admit I had fun and would do it again.

“I do have to say something though,” she said, getting serious. “Couldn’t you have worn a better suit or something?”

“What?” I asked smiling when her eyes searched out all of her love bites. She seemed to focus more on the one still barely visible around my nipple before looking out across the water, probably searching for Coach.

“Those hickies,” she hissed, shaking her head. “Don’t you care what that looks like?”

“No?” I said shrugging. “It looks like I…”

“Don’t say that!” She screeched, “Not in front of church boy. We go to the same church.”

“And a turtleneck in summer doesn’t really hide anything either,” Luke added and I shot him a glare. He wasn’t helping at all.

“I tried to tell him that I could take you home,” Ally said, making a point not to look up at Luke, but her cheeks had reddened so I knew what he said had bothered her.

“I don’t think Mom would like it if I got out of your car,” I said grimacing when her lips nearly disappeared.

“I can’t believe you,” she said, shaking her head. “I blew off cheerleading practice for you to tell me I shouldn’t have bothered. I wanted to see you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Ally.” I reached up and draped my arm around her. She didn’t fight me as I pulled her next to me, even though I was still wet. “But you shouldn’t have done that.”

“Well this is our senior year, Jackson,” she said resting her head against my shoulder. I could smell her perfume and shampoo. It made me miss her and the rest of them. It was different in school, we didn’t share all of the same classes. Lunch and hanging out in the parking lot or in some diner after school was how it usually was. These were the friends that I would likely keep for the rest of my life, I had so far anyway. They were definitely the people I had most in common with. They knew more about me than my parents and knew me well enough to keep their mouth shut about what my parents didn’t know when we were around them.

“I know,” I said, “they won’t keep me grounded forever, but that won’t matter if you end up grounded sneaking around like this. You know how your dad is.”

“I know,” she whined and I heard Luke stifling a laugh again.

“Breaks over!” Coach bellowed then blew his whistle. I looked around and saw that all of the younger kids he was coaching had left. He hadn’t scheduled the more advanced students or they would have already been here, so it was going to be another one on one practice. Sighing I slid my towel off and handed it back to Ally who stood and backed away from the side of the pool.

“Wait!” She said as I pulled on my goggles preparing to swim across the pool to where Coach stood. He was already glaring at me, but I turned back to face Ally. She leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. “I guess I’ll leave since you’re not letting me drive you home, I have some homework to do before, well nevermind.”

“What?” I asked and she glanced at Luke.

“I’m going out with the guys to Bailey Ashton’s party,” she whispered before she stood up.

“Have fun,” I said, forcing a smile as I gave her a short wave before I turned and started swimming before I was assigned more laps.

“Listen to me for a minute, Jack,” Coach said after I went to his end of the pool. He squatted in front of me and I didn’t dare glance away from him to where Luke was, although I hated that he would definitely hear the chewing out I had expected all night since I arrived.

“What is it, Coach?” I asked when he fell silent and glanced back over his notes on his every present clipboard.

“The college sent back your tapes, I got them this morning,” he answered and I felt the butterflies in my stomach surge back to life.

“What did they have to say this time?” I asked, gripping the side of the pool. Looking up at him no longer felt awkward to me after having seen him from this angle forever. When I was younger and just starting out, he intimidated the fuck out of me. He used to lift with the football team, being one of their assistant coaches. His legs were the size of tree trunks and his chest was imposing. Growing up, I always fell in line at Derek’s house, following all of their rules until he took me on as a coach. Then I knew that he was mostly all hot air. Still, those cold blue eyes could cut a man if they weren’t expecting it.

“They’re still not happy with your numbers and your form with the butterfly,” he said his eyebrow furrowing. “I think I’m the problem with that one, I’ve not really gotten the best results from any of you yet.”

“Is that all they’re saying?” I asked, feeling slightly relieved. They had been talking about that since accepting me on scholarship. I knew my butterfly was my weakest stroke. I figured they’d kick my ass into gear when I got there and could practice with them.

“Pretty much, but we have been ironing you out for awhile now and they’re still not happy with the results,” he said standing back up he placed the clipboard down on the lifeguard stool beside him and crossed his arms.

“I’ll get it down,” I said shrugging, “what are we going to do tonight?”

“I’m not finished,” he said and I knew the ass chewing was about to start now. “The fight the other day with that Tuley kid, I know it wasn’t your fault. You’re putting a lot of shit on yourself with your attitude lately though, Jack. With that stunt you pulled in gym. Then there’s your Mom, I got a very nice phone call from her the other day about the bonfire. I nearly put Derek over my knee, but this is just the recent stuff. Colleges aren’t going to put up with a kid doing that shit, especially one with a weak butterfly.”

“I wouldn’t call it that weak,” I countered trying to keep my voice even.

“Then that park restoration project your Mother cooked up,” he continued like I hadn’t said anything. “You have been coming to practice worn out and sore muscled.”

“That will be over soon, I promise,” I said, “and I’ll do better, I’ll toe the line and be boring and shit.”

“Jackson, I know how guys are your age, I’ve been there,” he said and I noticed him fighting back a smirk. “Work before play, alright?”

“Alright,” I said and he grabbed his whistle.

“Let’s get a good hour of this wasted day of butterfly work in and then we’ll get on the road,” he said, blowing his whistle for me to start.

The hour flew by and all the formwork he gave me caused my back to feel tight and my shoulders to hurt. I knew my earlier work on the park didn’t help matters much. He seemed to think that his talk with me was a good one though, because he helped me out of the pool and handed me another towel to dry off with.

“Are you going to shower?” He asked and I glanced over at the clock hanging on the far side of the wall. By this time Bailey Ashton’s party would just be getting good. Someone might have even brought a keg. I definitely wouldn’t have been home this time of night and it sucked thinking that I would be one of two losers definitely staying home on a night like this.

“Can I stay a while longer, I’ll lock up,” I said and he looked down at his watch.

“Aren’t you grounded?” He asked as he started packing up his things.

“Yeah, mostly,” I answered, shrugging. “Mom lets me out of the house if she knows I can’t get up to anything too bad.”

“If you get my ass in trouble again, Jackson, I’ll kick your scrawny ass,” he responded and I smirked, shaking my head.

“Scout’s honor,” I said holding up my hand.

“I was a scout captain you little shit and you never was a scout,” he said smiling. “Just don’t drown or let the other kid drown, alright?”

“And my ass isn’t scrawny,” I said and he shook his head before turning and walked out of the pool area.

When the door closed Luke jumped off the bleachers stretching before he came to where I stood by the pool, the white towel still draped over my shoulders. He glanced towards the door, but he couldn’t hide the smirk when he turned back to me.

“Not the epic butt chewing I thought you’d get,” he said, cocking an eyebrow. “I’m disappointed I thought I was about to finally see someone put you in your place.”

“Whatever,” I said grabbing my towel and rolling it up. “Do you want to swim or go on home?”

“Don’t we have to leave?” He asked and I shrugged.

“No, Rick has a deal with the Manager here since we always practice after hours,” I answered shrugging. “We’re both eighteen, so we’re allowed to be here unsupervised and I know CPR.”

“Alright,” he said, “but I don’t really know how to swim.”

“What?” I asked, sighing.

“I mean I can almost swim,” he said and I noticed his face flushing.

“Well I won’t give you mouth to mouth, so it’s up to you,” I countered, throwing my towel at him. It hit him in the chest and he caught it before it hit the ground.

“You mean you wouldn’t save me?” He asked, “And you want me to go swimming?”

“Yeah,” I answered, shrugging.

“Well I guess I should just go swimming then,” he countered rolling his eyes. Then he surprised me by taking a quick step forward grabbing both my shoulders. He gave me a hard shove and I flew backwards into the water.

“You dumbass,” I yelled after breaking the surface.

“You had it coming,” he said smiling as he tried to stop laughing.

“I have trunks in my bag, just go around the corner there and change,” I said and he looked over my bag on the floor just in front of the bottom bleachers.

“Alright,” he said and I watched him for a few moments before I kicked off the side of the pool and started swimming.

I watched him as he rummaged through my bag for a pair of swimming shorts that I always kept in there, just in case I needed them. When he disappeared around the corner I swam over to the side and crossed my arms, resting my head on them. Sitting still the water felt colder, especially now that so much time passed since practice ended.

When he stepped back around he pulled his shirt off. My shorts were a little snug on him, especially around the thighs. I smirked when he kept tugging at them trying to make the fabric looser, but he finally gave up and walked over to the side of the pool.

“When did you buy these?” He asked, pointing to the shorts.

“I like them snug,” I answered, shrugging. “Makes the shrinkage from the cold water not look so bad.”

“Shut up,” he groaned sitting down a few inches from where I was leaning. He sucked in a short breath as he slid his legs into the water and when his leg brushed against my side I backed away still looking up at him.

Just being the two of us in here, the room looked larger. Coach had turned off a few of the lights before he left, I guess not trusting me to get them later. It made the water seem darker than the bright blue that I liked and every sound of the water splashing against the side seemed to echo.

“Aren’t you going to get in?” I asked swimming in a small circle to keep warm.

“In a minute,” he said holding up one of his hands.

“Come on,” I said rolling my eyes. “I was just kidding about not saving your ass, I’ll at least make a good go at it.”

“That’s good,” he said laughing. “I don’t know CPR though, so you’re out of luck.”

“Just get in,” I ordered splashing him, I was too far away to properly hit him, but he still tensed from the cold water hitting his chest.

He looked away slowly kicking his legs back and forth in front of him. I glanced in the direction and saw that he was looking out the large windows above the bleachers on the other side of the pool. They were too dark to see out from here as the sun was nearly set and for the first time since agreeing to stay later, I felt weird for being here with him. It made me realize how much I didn’t know him, that he was more or less a stranger to me still.

Hearing a splash I turned around to see him tensely swimming around as his body got used to the colder water. He didn’t seem as sunburned as I was, but his skin seemed to like the sun better than mine and he was already tan.

“What the hell is that supposed to be?” I asked as I watched him awkwardly kicking and moving his hands out in front of him.

“Doggy paddling,” he answered, spitting out some water that had entered his mouth as he spoke.

“Just stretch out and swim,” I said, stretching out and doing a smooth circle around him as he paddled just hard enough to keep his head above water. “You’ll tire yourself out doing that.”

“Leave me alone,” he countered, smirking. “I’m doing great.”

“Come on, I’ll show you,” I said and I led him to the shallow end of the pool where we could stand. When he finally made it to where I was standing he was breathing a bit heavily and he reached up and messed up his hair so the water wouldn’t be streaming down his face as badly.

“Is this where you drown me so you don’t have to put up with me anymore?” He asked as he nudged my shoulder.

“No, I hadn’t thought about it until now,” I answered, shrugging. “Now lay down in the water.”

“What?” He said as I knelt until the water was up to my shoulders. I held my hands out in front of me making a cradle for him, but he took a step back.

“Come on, I won’t let you go under,” I answered, pulling him back towards me. “You know babies can swim better than you.”

“Whatever,” he said, but he leaned forward then fell into my arms. I barely was able to keep his head above water, but that hadn’t stopped him from flailing his arms, hitting me in the chin.

“You’re like a damn cat,” I groaned as he calmed down.

“How is this supposed to help really?” He asked glancing over his shoulder as I moved farther down his body to cradle his lower stomach and waist.

“Shut up and I’ll tell you,” I answered biting down on my lower lip to keep from laughing. “I’m not going to teach you any of the strokes I do, but just how to smoothly move your arms and kick with your legs.”

“Alright,” he said, “this is embarrassing, you know?”

“You’d be surprised how many dumbasses our age doesn’t know how to swim,” I answered and he turned to face me.

“Thanks for that,” he said, shaking his head.

“Okay, I’m going to release you on the count of three,” I said ignoring him. My shoulders were starting to hurt, even though the water took a lot of his weight. “Don’t start flailing, I want you to move your arms above your head and pretend you’re pushing the water out of the way as you’re moving forward.”

“Alright,” he said as I felt his body tense.

“Don’t be tense, you’ll sink like a rock,” I countered, “just keep kicking with your legs, that’s easy enough, right?”

“Yeah,” he answered and I gently turned him towards the side of the pool farthest away and back into deeper water.

“Ready?” I asked and he nodded, then I slowly counted to three before letting him fall into the water. At first he went rigid, but I stepped back as he started kicking and moving his hands out in front of him.

Dodging the water I walked beside him until he got to the deeper drop off and started swimming. He glanced over at me smiling, his face no longer scrunched up and worried. I could tell though, he was still a bit tense and fighting to keep his head above the water. At least he didn’t look like a drowning dog anymore. If anything, a drunk off his ass frog.

When he finally broke form I reached over and grabbed his arm and helped him over to the side of the pool. We both crossed our arms and rested our heads on them, I listened as his breathing finally evened out and when I turned back to him he was smiling at me.

“What are you looking at?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I know why you like it here,” he answered and I wanted to look away. The answer had surprised me and I didn’t want to have any sort of deep conversation that I felt coming on. Not with him and not about this place. “You looked really good earlier, like you really enjoyed this. It was a nice change from the complaining and cursing at the park.”

“Right,” I said turning back towards him, the reflection of the water shimmering across the side of his face. When he turned to look at me he shrugged his shoulders.

“I guess it’s nice seeing someone doing something they really enjoy doing,” he continued and I felt my face flush.

“Don’t you have something you like to do?” I asked pulling myself up onto solid ground. When I turned I saw his outstretched hand, so I grabbed it and pulled him up to sit beside me. After we were settled with our legs dangling in the water he stared out at the ripples.

“I don’t really know,” he answered, sighing. “I mean I play sports, I’m pretty decent at baseball.”

“But?” I asked, fighting the urge to nudge him in the side. For someone who had a fucking annoying smile, I hated seeing him without it too.

“Let’s just go,” he said, glancing over at me. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Why not?” I asked, crossing my arms. “You keep asking me questions, but as soon as I do, you decide to finally shut up.”

“I don’t want to be homeschooled, when I heard that our school was closing I felt relieved,” he said shaking his head. “I want to go to your school, I don’t want to be the loser church boy that no one in our small town really knows about unless they go to church. Even then, I’m still the church boy that doesn’t know anything.”

“If you’re upset at what Ally said…” I started, but he shook his head.

“It’s what you all think,” he countered. “You’ve said as much already, remember?”

“I probably did,” I answered, shrugging. It surprised me when he laughed, but it was devoid of any humor.

“I could imagine myself walking the halls and it actually be crowded, that I could try out for baseball, get invited to Bailey Ashton’s parties, whoever she is,” he said slumping his shoulders. “Not being home schooled, that’s the last thing I want.”

“Bailey Ashton is a dude,” I corrected not knowing what else to say and feeling lame, “a dumbass really.”

“We ready to go?” He asked and he quickly stood splashing me with water. He grabbed a towel from the small stack still left over from practice then handed me the one I dried off with before.

“If you want to go to my school, I’ll help you convince your mom to let you,” I countered. Even if I knew I would hate seeing him walking my hallways, I couldn’t help also hating how beat up he looked now.

“I really don’t think Mom would be convinced by you,” he answered, offering me a smile as we walked towards the bleachers. “I mean you’re the bad influence she wants to shelter me from anyway.”

“Yeah, well,” I countered trying not to smile. “You don’t know how convincing I can be.”

“I think I do know,” he said reaching over he gently pushed my shoulder. “You convinced me to go swimming.”

“See?” I said as I bent down and grabbed my bag. “Don’t give up on anything you really want.”

“It’s not that easy,” he countered as he grabbed the clothes he borrowed from me as I held the locker room door open for him.

“Yeah it is,” I argued and allowed the door to close between us.

 
Copyright © 2017 Krista; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
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“Don’t give up on anything you really want.”


Jackson's advice could give Luke courage, but not in what Jackson is thinking. ;)
It was nice having J listening to and absorbing Luke's fear and desires re: schooling.
I notice he's being more natural around Luke lately, which in itself is a good development for him, no matter what happens.
A nice "developmental" chapter Krista!
A Great story!
  • Like 3

It's been said before, but you've nailed the teenage voice. It sounds damn close to the way my students talk (give or take some Spanish!).
I don't know why, but I like that Allison and Luke dislike each other. They know each other from church (if their church is like the ones I went to as a teen, they probably grew up in the church together), so it wouldn't be a surprise if Luke knew how phony Allison is. Hell, Allison might even be a little scared or jealous of how real and genuine Luke is.
Jackson and his friends seem like okay kids, but are ultimately shallow and one-dimensional. Go to a party, get drunk, make out. That's it. That's living it up. Despite being the loser Christian kid with no friends, Luke is special. Jackson's "real" friends are forgettable and interchangeable (I think Jackson had mentioned in an earlier chapter that their little 6-pack had been through different pairings, as if the couples were so mix-and-match, that it didn't really matter who was dating whom). Luke is real. A lot of the fun Jackson and his friends had seemed to be unremarkable and same-old-same-old (no wonder he's bored!), but the things he and Luke do are memorable. The bonfires and parties kinda lump together, but even if nothing comes of his relationship with Luke, Jackson will have fond memories of the paint balloon maze fight and teaching him to swim.
I always look forward to seeing how Jackson grows through his friendship with Luke.

  • Like 5

Hmm at least he's being nicer to Luke. Interesting to see how he respects and listens to a man with natural parental authority, and how the Coach explains why Jackson needs to shape up rather than try emotional blackmail or ordering him around. I don't think Allison is phony, she probaby does miss Jackson and she certainly likes him more than he likes her. Her instincts about Luke as a rival are spot on - not that she has any idea about either of them being gay, I mean a rival for his time, because time spent with Luke is time away from her and his other friends.
Interesting to see Jackson's confidence about being able to hep Luke, but I bet he'll do it via his mum, telling her Luke want to go to his school and if they did, it would be easier to become friends. Not that he intends to, yet, but she would feel as if she's won a victory, silly woman,

  • Like 3

Nice play of tension between Luke and Allison...indicative of jealously, since they're both going after the same thing? <grin>
Great job with dialogue, and you really capture Luke's depression/fear of being homeschooled. Hoping Jackson can do some magic there with his mom to get him into the classes, despite his weak protests that it'd be "akward" seeing him in the same school.
Finely done writing, and the story's moving along well--looking forward to the next chapter!

  • Like 3

Another great chapter Krista. When Jackson lets kis guard down, he's really a neat kid. Now he has a chance to help Luke and I can't wait to see how that goes.. It feels like there's something on the brink just waiting to happen. A certain growth in the characters as they are about to discover who they are as individuals and possibly what they could mean to each other as friends or otherwise. I'm probably not explaining it right, but whatever it is, is just out of reach and I feel we, (at least I am) are right at the point they are as a reader. Make sense?

 

I said it before, Jackson will soon tire of the friends he thinks he misses. It's just more of the same and Allison shows that. I think it's funny that she and Luke go to the same church. So what do they know about each other? Hmm..

 

Anyway, I loved the chapter.. Thank you...

  • Like 4

I ditto all your other reviewers. I really like how natural Jackson seems when he's around Luke. We don't know how Luke is with other kids his age; he has said he doesn't really have friends, but I'm sure he is very comfortable around Jackson too. Although, he still doesn't want to talk about some things. Hopefully that will change in time.

 

I enjoyed reading about Luke's swimming lesson. :) It's good that Jackson could give something back to Luke (the balloon painting thing). Jackson just needs to focus more on swimming and less on the friends he's 'missing'.

  • Like 3
On 03/15/2016 03:56 PM, Kjamieson said:

Great chapter. It's great to see Luke and Jackson getting closer and becoming friends rater than just a forced tolerance of each other. It was cute to see Jackson nervous that Luke was watching him :-). I'm excited to see where things go with them!

Thanks for reading! :D They had a bit more fun together. :) Maybe this will lead to a more substantial friendship... or will it? :P

  • Like 2
On 03/15/2016 01:59 PM, Parker Owens said:

I. Like. This. Chapter! Beautifully done. I can see Luke opening up, and Jackson opening with him. Maybe there's hope for them both.

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you like the story. :D The character is based on a story I started ages ago, I wrote myself into a corner with that one, very early on. lol. Hopefully I can keep up with these characters a bit better.

  • Like 2
On 03/15/2016 02:01 PM, skinnydragon said:

 

“Don’t give up on anything you really want.”

Jackson's advice could give Luke courage, but not in what Jackson is thinking. ;)

It was nice having J listening to and absorbing Luke's fear and desires re: schooling.

I notice he's being more natural around Luke lately, which in itself is a good development for him, no matter what happens.

A nice "developmental" chapter Krista!

A Great story!

Thanks for reading! Jackson can listen! A little bit surprising, yes? lol. He's not too bad on the advice either, but we'll see what Luke does with it - if anything. :D

  • Like 2
On 03/16/2016 04:01 AM, Dayne Mora said:

It's been said before, but you've nailed the teenage voice. It sounds damn close to the way my students talk (give or take some Spanish!).

I don't know why, but I like that Allison and Luke dislike each other. They know each other from church (if their church is like the ones I went to as a teen, they probably grew up in the church together), so it wouldn't be a surprise if Luke knew how phony Allison is. Hell, Allison might even be a little scared or jealous of how real and genuine Luke is.

Jackson and his friends seem like okay kids, but are ultimately shallow and one-dimensional. Go to a party, get drunk, make out. That's it. That's living it up. Despite being the loser Christian kid with no friends, Luke is special. Jackson's "real" friends are forgettable and interchangeable (I think Jackson had mentioned in an earlier chapter that their little 6-pack had been through different pairings, as if the couples were so mix-and-match, that it didn't really matter who was dating whom). Luke is real. A lot of the fun Jackson and his friends had seemed to be unremarkable and same-old-same-old (no wonder he's bored!), but the things he and Luke do are memorable. The bonfires and parties kinda lump together, but even if nothing comes of his relationship with Luke, Jackson will have fond memories of the paint balloon maze fight and teaching him to swim.

I always look forward to seeing how Jackson grows through his friendship with Luke.

Thanks for reading! I'm glad you find the teenage voices authentic. :) I do find dialog that doesn't fit the person to come across as cheesy.

 

As far as the "6 - Pack" (like the name by the way) I do want to attempt to manage them a lot better. To add some depth to a few of them in later chapters. There is a lot left for me to establish, but I do want their voices added to the mix. :D Hopefully I'll be able to manage all these characters a bit.

 

Teenagers are walking and talking conflict as well. :D We'll see what happens between Jackson, Luke, and Allison for sure. :D

  • Like 2
On 03/16/2016 05:09 AM, Timothy M. said:

Hmm at least he's being nicer to Luke. Interesting to see how he respects and listens to a man with natural parental authority, and how the Coach explains why Jackson needs to shape up rather than try emotional blackmail or ordering him around. I don't think Allison is phony, she probaby does miss Jackson and she certainly likes him more than he likes her. Her instincts about Luke as a rival are spot on - not that she has any idea about either of them being gay, I mean a rival for his time, because time spent with Luke is time away from her and his other friends.

Interesting to see Jackson's confidence about being able to hep Luke, but I bet he'll do it via his mum, telling her Luke want to go to his school and if they did, it would be easier to become friends. Not that he intends to, yet, but she would feel as if she's won a victory, silly woman,

Thanks for reading! He does respect Coach Tate more than he does his parents, as far as discipline goes.. he has a lot more to lose when it comes to what Coach can take away from him, I believe. :)

 

I agree, I don't think Allison is a phony either, she is just trying to find her place within Jackson's life as his girlfriend. They haven't been together that long, there's always that chance things won't work out when they're so new.. so anything to take away from her time with him, is seen as a threat. :D So yes, I do agree with you completely. Hopefully Jackson's other friends will make their mark on the story too. There's a lot of people I'm going to attempt to manage with this story.

  • Like 2
On 03/16/2016 09:40 AM, Robert Rex said:

Nice play of tension between Luke and Allison...indicative of jealously, since they're both going after the same thing? <grin>

Great job with dialogue, and you really capture Luke's depression/fear of being homeschooled. Hoping Jackson can do some magic there with his mom to get him into the classes, despite his weak protests that it'd be "akward" seeing him in the same school.

Finely done writing, and the story's moving along well--looking forward to the next chapter!

Thanks for reading! Are they going after the same thing? ;) lol.

 

Luke - I would hate to be in his shoes. The loss of a school, even if it isn't the most exciting place would be better than sitting at home with a pushy mother hovering over your shoulder.. lol.. I imagine. Especially the last year of high school "the best year" :D

  • Like 2
On 03/16/2016 10:40 PM, Defiance19 said:

Another great chapter Krista. When Jackson lets kis guard down, he's really a neat kid. Now he has a chance to help Luke and I can't wait to see how that goes.. It feels like there's something on the brink just waiting to happen. A certain growth in the characters as they are about to discover who they are as individuals and possibly what they could mean to each other as friends or otherwise. I'm probably not explaining it right, but whatever it is, is just out of reach and I feel we, (at least I am) are right at the point they are as a reader. Make sense?

 

I said it before, Jackson will soon tire of the friends he thinks he misses. It's just more of the same and Allison shows that. I think it's funny that she and Luke go to the same church. So what do they know about each other? Hmm..

 

Anyway, I loved the chapter.. Thank you...

Thanks for reading! :D I understand you. :) Is this chapter that pushes certain characters towards a convergence. A lot can happen - needs to happen pretty soon.

  • Like 2
On 03/18/2016 02:31 AM, Lisa said:

I ditto all your other reviewers. I really like how natural Jackson seems when he's around Luke. We don't know how Luke is with other kids his age; he has said he doesn't really have friends, but I'm sure he is very comfortable around Jackson too. Although, he still doesn't want to talk about some things. Hopefully that will change in time.

 

I enjoyed reading about Luke's swimming lesson. :) It's good that Jackson could give something back to Luke (the balloon painting thing). Jackson just needs to focus more on swimming and less on the friends he's 'missing'.

Thanks for reading! I think Jackson has let some of those guards down. Is it because he's bored and Luke IS the only other person his age he can be around? Or is it because they are finding common ground being the same age, etc. :D It would be nice to know.. wouldn't it? :D

 

I actually had this chapter ending differently. NOT going into that.. lol. But I felt it was getting a bit long, so I decided to scrap a scene, which extends the story line a bit. So! I need to get to writing.. :P Glad you like the characters so far!

  • Like 3
18 hours ago, Davi Medrade said:

The amount of effort I'm having to put into not taking a peek at the ending… I don't want to spoil it for myself; I want to enjoy the ride the way the author wanted… But I'm just *so* curious…

I won't talk you down from that curiosity. Although, I think at this stage of the story most people were wondering where the hell I was going with it. lol. I remember a few PM's asking me when I was going to make it a "gay story..."  Seven chapters in though.. yikes, the chapter numbers left may seem a bit daunting as there are so many. :P

Unlike the ones that read this as I was posting it, you don't have to wait... the chapters are there waiting for better or worse. 

If you do end up taking a sneaky look at the end, I hope you come back for the journey of it too. ;) If not, at least we had chapter 7 together.. haha. 

  • Like 1
4 hours ago, Krista said:

If you do end up taking a sneaky look at the end, I hope you come back for the journey of it too. ;) If not, at least we had chapter 7 together.. haha. 

Oh, don't worry. I resisted, and I'm already on chapter 23.

I usually only read completed stories (I know I'm too impatient to be able to wait for each chapter to come out and I wouldn't want to become one of those readers who keep bugging the authors to write faster), and I usually prefer longer stories (when I go to the stories index the first thing I do is set filters for status “Completed” and length “> 20,000 words”, though my favorites tend to be 150,000+ words).

Problem is, every once in a while I'll spend a long time reading a story only for the ending to be a letdown (which is not to say that the ending is bad, only that it didn't fit my particular tastes or expectations at that time). That's why I feel this urge when I'm starting a story, specially a longer story that I'm finding particularly engaging, to make sure that I'll like how it ends before committing the time to read it in full.

I've been trying to resist this urge to peek at the end though, because usually when I do that I'll learn that it suits my tastes just fine but then I just robbed myself of a good chunk of my enjoyment of the story, which is precisely the discovery and the surprise of the twists and turns.

When it comes to this story in particular, I will admit that part of that urge was not that I thought it wouldn't be a gay story, but rather that I wanted to make sure it would be gay enough to fit the mood I was in when I found it and decided to read it, which was after the latest installment of updating my gay movies library (and if there is one recurring “problem” with gay movies is that they are often too subtle so as to avoid being censored or turning off a straight audience). So, at that time, it might be a bit disappointing to read 50+ chapters only for the story to end with the protagonist's first gay kiss, for example. I'm not saying that such a story couldn't possibly be good (I'm sure many of the great authors in this website, yourself included, could manage to make an interesting story with that sort of outline), but it's not the kind of story I'm in the mood for right now.

I already know (or at least I strongly believe based in how it's going up until the point I've read so far) that that's not how this story goes, and I'm definitely hooked, so I'll certainly be reading it through to the end (without peeking, I promise).

  • Love 1
17 hours ago, Davi Medrade said:

Oh, don't worry. I resisted, and I'm already on chapter 23.

I usually only read completed stories (I know I'm too impatient to be able to wait for each chapter to come out and I wouldn't want to become one of those readers who keep bugging the authors to write faster), and I usually prefer longer stories (when I go to the stories index the first thing I do is set filters for status “Completed” and length “> 20,000 words”, though my favorites tend to be 150,000+ words).

Problem is, every once in a while I'll spend a long time reading a story only for the ending to be a letdown (which is not to say that the ending is bad, only that it didn't fit my particular tastes or expectations at that time). That's why I feel this urge when I'm starting a story, specially a longer story that I'm finding particularly engaging, to make sure that I'll like how it ends before committing the time to read it in full.

I've been trying to resist this urge to peek at the end though, because usually when I do that I'll learn that it suits my tastes just fine but then I just robbed myself of a good chunk of my enjoyment of the story, which is precisely the discovery and the surprise of the twists and turns.

When it comes to this story in particular, I will admit that part of that urge was not that I thought it wouldn't be a gay story, but rather that I wanted to make sure it would be gay enough to fit the mood I was in when I found it and decided to read it, which was after the latest installment of updating my gay movies library (and if there is one recurring “problem” with gay movies is that they are often too subtle so as to avoid being censored or turning off a straight audience). So, at that time, it might be a bit disappointing to read 50+ chapters only for the story to end with the protagonist's first gay kiss, for example. I'm not saying that such a story couldn't possibly be good (I'm sure many of the great authors in this website, yourself included, could manage to make an interesting story with that sort of outline), but it's not the kind of story I'm in the mood for right now.

I already know (or at least I strongly believe based in how it's going up until the point I've read so far) that that's not how this story goes, and I'm definitely hooked, so I'll certainly be reading it through to the end (without peeking, I promise).

Yes, I remember people asking me if this was a Gay story, or a character who may question his sexuality and then eventually come to the conclusion that he was straight or bi-curious, but not curious enough to do anything. Either way, I feel you're far enough into the story to know where Jackson falls with that.

I'm glad you didn't look at the ending, as I feel the ending is rather straight forward... I struggle with endings, but people have said that I've gotten a lot better at ending stories, so maybe with this one it's all a go. :D 

I also don't blame anyone for waiting for a story to be marked completed. Myself, I have put my readers through it with breaks, and long times between chapters. I hit a few bouts of writer's block and lacking motivation. Full time mom, full time job, full time everything else limits my time as well. It took me a really long time to get this out... admittedly, it is longer than some of the longer novels in print at the moment... and professionals struggle with that wordcount, I doubt it is ever as long as it has taken me to finish this story, but I'm far from a professional.. haha. 

I am glad you stuck with it, I have got notifications of your progress. :P I wish I could remember all parts of this story so that I know where you're at and what you're about to wade into. 

I also agree about films and books that may go 70% in one direction, and are advertised as an LGBT Drama and they don't go the rest of the way. Or, what is there is in a span of two or so scenes. It's okay if done well, but most usually it isn't. There's one director that likes to do that and I have fallen for it a few times. 

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