The Best Year - 38. Chapter 38

The rest of the week the school slowly returned from forest green and cream to the royal blue and yellow. Connor surprised me Tuesday with a Trojan shirt like the one Bailey Ashton wore during his photo shoot. Seeing me wearing it Thursday people kept asking me where I got it, I told them Connor. By last period Connor sold enough shirts to pay off the debt he accumulated from the prank. The shirts sold better than the school affiliated ones though, so Welker told him he could no longer sell them at school, but he had already planned to go underground and sell them out of the trunk of his car. Driving around town I started to see adults and people that had graduated the year before wearing them. I was beginning to see Connor for what he was, a savvy little shit. He was actually going to make some money if he was able to keep this up. Only a few people worried the school would lose it’s long held identity, but Welker scheduled a pep rally, the biggest rivalry basketball game of the season, was coming up Friday night.

Cindy was the only one that wasn’t a fan of the prank. It took her most of the week to finally realize that we hadn’t sabotaged her room. She was also on Welker’s ass about cleaning up the school so at least that happened. I had left my locker untouched, but by Friday the tape was starting to fail and I finally pulled the paper covering off it.

Friday at the start of last period just as the pep rally was supposed to start, my name was called into Mrs. Lane’s office. She was the guidance counselor and I wondered why exactly she wanted to see me. I hadn’t been in Welker’s office for anything for months and my grades were still nearly perfect. Our school year was winding down, we were fast approaching the perks of being seniors. We will be practicing for graduation by the end of next month. There were still the prom campaigns we all had to suffer through, but we also didn’t have as many tests. No teacher wanted to accidentally fail a senior, so we had it easy. From spring break onward.

So when I walked into the room and I saw the rainbow flag on her desk I groaned, but nearly slammed the door behind me in my haste to get the door closed. People were milling out in the hallway like always and as I walked down the hall I had to pass Cindy’s room and her door was open. She stopped mid-sentence to watch me pass. Luke was grounded already, but I didn’t want to cause him any more shit so I just turned to look straight ahead.

“What’s this about?” I asked, but I already knew. Back when I opened my big fucking mouth and told her I was gay, she said something about sponsoring a club.

“The gay and straight alliance club,” she answered her magnified eyes going even wider. “I’m also sorry for pulling you out right before the big pep rally.”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. Not really caring about the pep rally. I was never mentioned during them. All this school cared about was football during football season and basketball the rest of the year. I could hear the halls filling with people from the neighboring classrooms already. “I already told you, I don’t want people in my business.”

“Come on Jackson,” she said waving her hand for me to sit in her cramped as fuck office. It was a renovated janitor’s closet and no one took her seriously. How could we? Most of the time she looked more of a wreck and in need of guidance than the people sitting across from her. Still, she held just enough authority here for me not to just leave the room and melt into the crowd headed towards the gym.

“Mrs. Lane, I’m a senior all I want to do is get drunk after prom and graduate then get the hell out of here,” I countered crossing my arms. I wanted her to stutter and start handing me pamphlets on the importance of sobriety or what teenage drug and alcohol use does to futures, but she didn’t. She just smoothed out the wrinkles in the flag.

“If you’re the student co-sponsor a lot of kids would be brave enough to join,” she said as she rested her hands on the flag.

“You can do this, Mrs. Lane, but I’m not going to do it,” I argued, feeling my face flush.

“You can be on the alliance side of things, no one would have to know,” she offered, waving her hand as she reached for a piece of paper. When she took it and held it out for me, I accepted it from her and saw that it was a student sponsor form. I wasn’t surprised to see Connor’s signature on it already. He was class president and Mrs. Lane probably sought his approval or maybe sponsorship first. He was just one of the ten signatures that were required before clubs became official. He wasn’t the student sponsor though and Welker hadn’t signed it either, I doubted he had even seen it yet.

“You didn’t tell Connor that I would be considered for the sponsor, right?” I asked my heart racing. I didn’t want Connor to know. Not that I thought he would spread it around or hate me for it, but he wasn’t part of the group of friends that I grew up with outside of school. That is how things had to be. The more people that knew, the more people would finally piece together Luke and me hanging out. Especially Connor who had tried to be a friend of mine and before this year, I had been an ass that barely tolerated his presence. No one would buy that I was creating a gay club because I was an ally either. No one in this school could hold up that lie, reputation or not. It would be me coming out to the entire school and be whoever the fuck I was. I didn’t even know. Everyone also knew I never showed any interest in clubs and shit, I wasn’t a member. I didn’t run for class president or student council. I was here to wreck Welker’s days and have people laugh at me being an ass. Maybe throw a few badass parties along the way. That was my legacy, despite me not even caring much about that anymore either.

“No, no, of course not,” she answered and I sat back in the seat. I knew I was scowling at her wondering if that was true. Ally said Mrs. Lane was a joke and a gossip. She knew her better than I did.

“Can’t you wait until next year?” I asked leaning forward just enough to place the piece of paper back on top of the rainbow flag resting on her desk.

“Don’t you want to help people like yourself?” She asked and I smirked and looked towards the door.

“Look, like I said, I just want to graduate and get the hell out of here,” I answered watching as she sat back in her seat. I could see her preparing an argument or telling me off for my language and when she opened her mouth I held up my hand. “I’m not here to save anyone and for the record, I don’t know what the hell I am.”

“Just so you know, Jackson,” she said as she rolled her chair closer to the desk, her eyes steady for the first time since we sat down. “I have kids in here all the time, some of them have said they wished they could be as self-confident as you.”

“Please let it be Bailey Ashton,” I said before I could stop myself. “That would make my damn week.”

“You know people look up to you, they applaud you, they built a school shrine for you,” she said and I knew she was just trying to appeal to my ego. If it was for anything else, I might have gone for it, but I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t want to be looked at differently and most importantly I didn’t want people looking at Luke differently either.

“No, Connor just wanted to stick it to Welker by using me in that prank,” I countered, shaking my head. “If this is what you’re going on, it was more or less just to annoy him.”

“I see you’re not going to budge on this,” Mrs. Lane said and when I looked at her, I saw the defeated set of her shoulders. “Just know this, there are kids out there, scared to death to be who they are.”

“I know,” I said, knowing she wouldn’t know that what she said was the very reason why I couldn’t be that person. It was more than just me not wanting my last few months of my senior year defending myself while trying to convince people to be braver than me. She didn’t know I had someone I needed to protect with everything I had.

“Just take the club form and think about it,” she said as she stood. She had called me into her room during last period and at least I wouldn’t have to go back to class, I could just go home and get ready for practice. The Pep rally couldn’t last longer than the regular school day either as the bus drivers would be waiting for students out front with expectant parents that picked their kids up.

“It will always be a no with me, Mrs. Lane, find someone else,” I countered and I stood and didn’t wait for her to walk around her desk in the cramped room. I beat her to the door and opened it and gently closed it behind me. I stood out in the hallway and when the bell rang I watched as everyone started filing out of the gym hallway.

Remembering my stuff still in the Spanish classroom I took off down the hall, but Ally met me out front of Cindy’s room holding my bag. Smiling, I took it from her and pulled one of the straps up over my shoulder.

“What did Mrs. Lane want?” Ally asked as we turned to walk towards the cafeteria hallway so we could leave out the back doors towards the student parking lot.

“I’ll tell you later,” I answered, glancing over my shoulder to see Cindy standing just inside her room, probably waiting for any sign of Luke. The school wasn’t large and he had plenty of time to get here by now. Smiling at her despite the glare she shot us I turned, feeling Ally loop her arm with mine as we dodged people in the hallways. It was the first real show of affection towards me since she found out about Luke, so I didn’t shy away from her touch. People did notice, specifically Cindy and I wondered if Ally planned for that. Girls were better at this sort of thing.

Ally didn’t press me for an answer once outside. Instead she saw Bailey fucking Ashston waiting for her and she unhooked herself from me with a smile and a quick goodbye before she bounded down the stairs. She jogged to his car and I saw the smile as she pulled her hair out of her face as she slid inside the passenger seat. Her hair was longer than when we dated and it was softly curled.

“Fuck,” I sighed shaking my head. At first I thought she went out with him just to get back at me, but the smile told me everything I needed to know about their relationship now. I guess he was a good enough guy, no matter how much of a lame ass I thought he was. I’d probably rather talk to a brick myself.

“Oh hey, Jackson,” Emma said as she nearly hit me with the door. I hadn’t moved from the small concrete stairs that split with a handicap ramp.

“Hey,” I said, stepping out of her way. “No cheerleading practice for y’all?”

“We used the pep rally for a quick practice,” she answered, offering me a smile. “Are you coming to the game?”

“No, I have practice,” I answered and she nodded her head.

“You’re practically married to your swimming aren’t you?” She asked and I watched her tuck a stray lock of blond hair behind her ear. She was a beautiful girl, I knew that, but the problem was she knew it too. We would’ve made the perfect couple if it wasn’t for both of our own self-awareness.

“Yeah, I plan on taking it as far as I can,” I answered wanting to just walk away from her and leave her standing there alone. The parking lot was emptying by the second once traffic cleared a bit from the busses. Usually I would be waiting, blaring music like everyone else, or planning to go cruising down the bypass and eat fast food before practice. Now I realized how much I had given up and how much I didn’t miss it.

“You know there’s a party after,” Emma said as she glanced down at her cell after it chimed and I smirked when she ignored it.

“Yeah, I know,” I answered. There was always a party, because of course there was. It wouldn’t have made sense in this shithole town if there wasn’t.

“My place,” she said, “try to make it?”

“Yeah, sure,” I said, watching her smile and wave her hand.

“Well I’ll let you go get your swimming thing done,” she added laughing as she rolled her eyes and playfully hit me on the shoulder. I watched her bounce down the stairs. She was still dressed in the cheerleader’s practice shorts and her ass bouncing in them wasn’t lost on me either.

“Fuck me,” I groaned as I slowly followed her and dodged her car as she backed out of the spot.

Getting to my car I checked my phone. Luke wasn’t going to be able to text, I knew that, but I looked anyway just in case. Cindy hadn’t allowed him to drive either. So there wasn’t even a way for us to sneak a few private seconds in the parking lot before we were both expected home.

Practice was becoming easy as breathing now. Emily told me she pretty much taught me everything she knew. Tony got over punishing me towards the end of the night as well and when I was in my car, I turned on the radio and turned it to the local radio station. The game was in the last quarter. By the time I drove from the center to home, it would be over.

Driving home I just got past the high school when the final buzzer sounded. I heard the announcer’s melancholy voice, ending the broadcast. Of course they lost. They always lost and it hadn’t been much of a rivalry for almost a decade. That didn’t stop people from coming as I saw the place was packed. People were having to park in the bus garage and on the entrance and exit roads. It was a safety hazard if anything happened, no bulky assed emergency vehicles would make it through. This was small towns though, there just wasn’t anything else to do, even if that meant watching your home team lose at home by twenty-eight.

When I got home I ate my tuna sandwich on wheat bread in the living room as I waited for the party to start. I expected texts by now, telling me about the heartbreaking loss, but also who would be picking me up. Mom wasn’t home yet, but I doubted she would be much longer and Dad was back to his long nights and weekend routine.

Hearing my cell phone, I grabbed it off the coffee table. When I saw that it was Luke I sat up on the couch straighter, only to realize how stupid that was. I swiped and put in my pass code as more texts started coming, but they were from Toby and I knew what he wanted. I wasn’t about to be the bitch driver tonight, he’d have to find some other designated driver. I wanted to let loose.

‘Toby wants me to sneak out,’ I read and I glanced towards the open front window. The front porch light wasn’t on so I stood and walked between the coffee table and the couch to the light switch and flipped it on.

‘Do you want to try?’ I responded and tapped the back of my cell waiting for him to reply.

‘Already did…’ he sent and just as I was about to walk to the door it flew open and he stepped inside my living room, closing the door quickly behind him.

“Damn,” I said, offering him a smile as I looked down at my phone to confirm the other texts. “You do realize though, that since you didn’t take your truck they pretty much know you walked over to my house.”

“Crap,” he groaned, reaching for the front door. I laughed at his continued insistence on not swearing, it was a habit I hoped he never lost. “What should I do?”

“Clam down,” I answered, grabbing for him before he opened the door. If Cindy checked on him she’d be storming over any moment now.

“I’ve never done something like this,” he said, still holding onto the doorknob. If Mom came home now she’d think we both went crazy.

“You did last weekend,” I countered as I attempted to turn him slightly around to face me. He was half turned to me and half towards the door. I wanted to kiss him, I hadn’t had the chance to since the back of my car.

“You are about the least helpful idiot I know right now,” he said, letting his hand drop from the doorknob.

“Thanks for that,” I said smiling as he turned to me. When we were face to face I leaned in and nearly stumbled over my own feet when he took a step back.

“I need to go get my truck,” he said and I sighed. “Aren’t you supposed to be good at this?”

“Well my parents are easier to sneak out on, they’re never home,” I countered grabbing for him again. This time I caught him and pressed him against the front door and when he tried to duck out of the way I shoved myself against him, grabbing his hands and pulling them up beside his head. He scowled at me, but I leaned in and kissed him anyway.

“Let me go get my truck,” he whispered and I shook my head.

“You’re already fucked,” I countered leaning in to kiss him again, but he turned his head so I leaned away from him and walked to the back of the couch. I leaned against it and watched as he opened the door only to see Mom standing on the front porch with her house keys in her hand.

“What in the world,” she said when Luke shot me a look then carefully stepped around her without saying a word.

“The guy isn’t used to sneaking out on his parents,” I answered when she turned from watching him disappear into the darkness.

“You shouldn’t be pressuring him to,” she said as she started dressing out of her coat and mittens.

“I didn’t and I’m glad to see we’re still thinking I’m the bad influence here,” I countered smirking when she shot me a look that pretty much told me that I was definitely still the bad influence.

“You told me he was grounded,” she added as she kissed me on the cheek as she walked by. She was wearing a bulky blouse and another shirt under it. So I knew she was hiding her pregnancy from her work too. Being a manager I doubted she would be doing any of the heavy lifting or grungy hard work, but I really couldn’t see her hiding her secret much longer.

“He is,” I said as we both turned and looked out the still open front door.

“Then you better tell him to stay home,” she said and I turned to see her nod towards my phone.

“I’m not gonna do that,” I countered as I slid my phone into my pants pocket. I half expected her to grab her own and text him herself. She had his number since it was on our plan and they had some sort of secret safety agreement that I respected the fuck out of my mother for, but when she didn’t I shrugged. “Cindy needs a good dose of teenage rebellion.”

“You’re playing with fire,” Mom said, shaking her head, but I also saw the smile playing on her lips. “Please don’t do anything too stupid tonight.”

When a white truck pulled into the driveway I offered her a small smile and grabbed my coat before I walked through the front door and closed the door behind me. I wasted no time jogging to the truck, Luke had barely pulled in as it was and being an older model, it wasn’t as silent as my Mustang. Cindy or Henry had to have noticed the engine, but when I opened the door and slid inside he glanced over at me and smiled.

“Where does Emma Camp live?” He asked as he backed out of the driveway and onto the main road.

“She lives in town,” I answered, frowning. I didn’t really want to go to Emma camp’s house. I was hoping for a better alternative to come about by now.

“Do you not wanna go?” He asked as he pulled back into the driveway so that he could turn around and head the opposite direction.

“Not really,” I answered, glancing over at him. Part of me wanted to tell him to just drive until we found something fun to do, far outside of town and away from everyone else. Maybe even go to paint wars at his uncle's place. It was probably filling up by now. Emma was only throwing this party to help her in the running for prom queen. Alison would be doing the same thing if she didn’t have to live with Welker’s ass and could get away with it. Toby might throw one in her honor in the coming weeks anyway and that I looked forward to.

“I do,” he answered and I saw him glance in my direction.

“Then we’ll go to Emma’s,” I said, but then both of our cell phones started going off and when I glanced down at mine, I saw a text from Lily.

“We’re skipping out on Emma’s, she already pissed Ally off,” I read rolling my eyes as I felt Luke let off the gas and start coasting. I could only imagine what that looked like and I hated that I missed it. They were both on the cheerleading team, so I wondered how their practices went.

“Girls can’t get along can they?” Luke asked, sighing as he pulled into the first driveway we came to. Glancing out of the windshield I saw lights on and I looked over at him.

“Go to Toby's, that's where we’ll end up,” I said expecting a shotgun to be waved out the front door any second.

“Okay,” he said and once again we were turning around, this time heading for the rolling farms near the county line. I didn’t have to worry about him getting lost since he’d found the place by himself good enough back in the summer. Remembering those times I smiled and reached over to play with his out-of-date radio. When he slapped my hand away only managing to find static he put it in a station that played country music, but didn’t turn it up.

The winding, crooked assed road to Toby’s took some concentration and I gripped the armrest on the door a little tighter when Luke approached a sharp curve a little too fast. Each time he would glance in my direction and I’d shrug my shoulders and let go of my death grip on the armrest.

When we arrived, I saw Ally’s car alongside the big assed truck of Toby’s, so I knew I had guessed correctly. That and Troy is hardly ever home on weekends. He was always looking for the next best bull to buy for his cows or at least the semen to artificially inseminate them later in the year. We used to make fun of him for always buying sperm, but even we grew out of that one a year or so ago. Troy was easily the coolest parent we knew too, he allowed us to trash an acre or so of his farm every time we partied, only getting pissed those times we didn’t clean up after ourselves. He never banned us or chased us off the property though and I wondered where the party hangout would be after Toby leaves and who would take on the tradition. Toby will probably always have parties here in the field, but I couldn’t really picture what they’d look like as we got older.

Getting out of the truck I glanced down the gravel road to the bottom of the hill in the direction of the field. There wasn’t enough light to see down there, but Toby’s place always felt like a home to me. I hoped that never changed and when I turned and caught Luke staring at me I held out my hand. Only Ally and Toby were here, maybe Heather, so we didn’t have to hide. When he hesitated I stepped closer and smiled and as we started up the bottom steps up the steep porch steps he did take my hand and I led him all the way up to the door. I didn’t bother knocking and when I opened the door, I smelled the pizza and heard the voices before I saw anyone. They were in the kitchen, only their shadows danced on the walls.

“If that’s Derek we need to help him,” Toby said and I felt Luke pull his hand out of mine just as Toby turned the corner. I shot Luke a glare, but had to brace myself when Toby wrapped us both into a hug that pulled us all awkwardly together.

“Let us go, you fuck,” I groaned trying to slap him in the nuts, but Luke’s ass was the only thing I managed to hit.

“How you two homos doing?” He asked as I finally freed myself.

“Shut up,” I said, shoving him as we walked farther into the living room.

“Derek’s bringing more liquor,” Toby said, slamming the door behind us. “You know where the kitchen is, there’s pizza.”

“He’s only doing this for you,” I said, glancing at Luke. “He usually just slaps me on the shoulder and sits his lazy ass back down on the couch.”

“Not everyday our little man brings in a date,” Toby said, reaching for my head, but I dodged him and stuck out my foot. When he hit the floor with a loud thud Heather and Ally came around the corner. They were holding paper plates with a slice of pizza.

“What did you do?” Heather asked as Toby huffed and rolled onto his back.

“Tripped his lousy ass,” I answered and I stepped out of the way as she knelt by him. He was already trying to fake being hurt and not laugh.

“You could have chipped his tooth or something,” Heather said, glancing up at me and Luke. “I need him perfect for prom.”

“Am I just arm candy to you?” Toby asked, rising up to rest on his elbows.

“During prom, yes, yes you are,” she answered as she stood shaking her long highlighted hair back out of her face. Looking at all three girls you would think I had a type. All of them had dark hair, Ally and Heather had similar shades of brown. Lily’s hair was darker, almost black, but the summer sun always bleached some of it to a reddish color. Luke stood out for more than just being a dude, with his soft blond hair.

“As long as I get some lovin out of it,” he said and Heather rolled her eyes and patted him on the shoulder like she was petting a puppy.

“Hey guys,” Bailey Ashton said as he appeared from around the corner from the kitchen. Seeing him I shot both Ally and Heather a glare. He was holding a plastic cup of beer and his plate was piled with three pieces of pizza.

“There better be pizza left,” I said trying to smile, I knew the glare I shot the girls weren’t missed on him, no one was that dim. Not even Bailey fucking Ashton who was still wet haired from a shower after the game. To his credit he scored seventeen tonight and was the only bright spot on a loss.

“Yeah, plenty,” he said, closing the distance between himself and Ally.

“Another bad loss tonight,” I grunted as I walked around the corner. Luke hadn’t said a word to anybody yet and I wanted to make sure he was still wanting to actually be here. With Bailey here, I already saw the night not living up to whatever Luke was hoping it would live up to.

When we were both in the kitchen I opened the refrigerator and hoped there was something other than milk and orange juice in there. Not seeing anything but cans of bud lites I held it open wider and watched as Luke took in the selection.

“Do you think they’ll mind?” Luke asked, glancing over the top of the refrigerator door.

“Everything here is yours if you want it,” I answered, going to close the door and just get some water from the tap. I planned on drinking beer myself, but I would do it later so that Luke didn’t feel left out. “Are you alright though?”

“Yeah,” he answered, shooting me a glare that pretty much told me he was nervous, but didn’t want my ass asking him. He also grabbed a can of beer and then a second one. When he straightened he held out one of them for me and I took it. He smiled at me and that told me that I had some odd ass look on my face so I shook my head and I grabbed a paper plate and slapped a few pepperoni slices on it then watched as Luke did the same.

When we got back to the living room Toby was still on the floor, but he was now resting his head in Heather’s lap. Bailey and Ally were on the couch, both of them eating. Seeing us Ally scooted closer to him to make room on the couch for at least one of us, but I just stepped over Toby, dancing away from his hands as he tried to grab my foot to repay me for tripping him earlier.

“Church, what’s that in your hand?” Toby asked as Luke stepped over him, also having to fight through outstretched hands.

“Pizza,” Luke answered as I sat down on the floor next to the broken liquor cabinet. Troy had only put duct tape over the hole that Toby's baseball bat created when he was drunk. Luke hovered, but ended up walking away from me to sit in a chair.

“So what did Emma say?” I asked turning to look at Ally before I took a bite of pizza.

“That I belonged on the curb with the rest of the trash,” Ally answered before she ripped her napkin as she tried to unfold it to wipe her mouth.

“Really?” I asked, trying not to laugh. Luke looked completely amused, his eyes bright as he watched Ally so I had to turn away from him before I lost it. She wouldn’t have liked me laughing at her, she expected me to defend her. I couldn’t do it though.

“Now be honest Alison Welker, what did you say first,” Heather said and I watched Ally roll her eyes.

“I just asked her where her boobs went in that top,” she said waving her hand as the front door opened and in stepped Derek holding a paper sack. Lily was close behind him and I made to stand remembering Toby telling us that we would need to help him, but settling back in when Connor and Olivia walked through the door also carrying liquor and snacks.

“What the crap, Olivia?” Luke asked making to stand, but gave up with both his hands full. He hadn’t opened the beer or took a bite of pizza yet. Olivia was already past him and into the kitchen as it was.

“I mean honestly, I was doing her a favor,” Ally continued as if nothing else was happening.

“You couldn’t have kept your mouth shut at all?” Lily asked after returning from the kitchen already knowing what we were talking about. “We wouldn’t have been kicked out of a party if you had managed.”

“Well someone had to tell her,” Ally answered smiling. “I mean honestly they disappeared.”

“No they didn’t, they looked perfectly alright,” Toby countered, settling into Heather’s lap completely oblivious to the danger he should’ve known he was in saying what he said. Looking at her I watched Heather smirk and pick up a pizza crust. Toby still wasn’t paying her any attention and when his mouth opened up enough she shoved the crust inside it. Seeing it nearly disappear into his mouth, before she quickly yanked it back out and him shooting up out of her lap gagging and spitting I almost fell over laughing.

“Heather!” Lily yelled as she smacked Toby squarely on the back as he got fully to his feet.

“You nearly killed me, woman,” Toby groaned, his eyes watering.

“What she do?” Derek asked as he popped around the corner holding a box of pizza.

“I just deepthroated a pizza crust,” he said, taking a drink of beer.

“Like a champ too, I’m sure,” Derek said grinning, “Hey, know what, I bet…”

“There’s some hard lemonades and stuff in the freezer,” Lily interrupted as she elbowed Derek not looking up at him. Derek glanced around and when his eyes landed on Connor and Bailey he frowned as he walked around the now cramped living room and sat the pizza down before he sat on the floor beside me.

“Who invited them,” he whispered with a grunt before he opened the pizza box and grabbed a slice. I smiled while taking a couple drinks before I started on my second slice.

Luke stood and I watched him offer a seat to Connor despite still scowling at him. To his credit Connor was trying to smile and meet his eyes, but when Luke pretended not to see he gave up and took the seat that was offered to him. Olivia just sat in his lap and made everything worse, she knew it, but Luke kept walking until he was standing beside me, then he sat down with a bit of a thump since he was still carrying both his pizza and his beer. Sitting next to me though, he pulled the tab and opened it and I watched him take his first drink. When he cringed I smiled remembering my first taste of the bitter shit. It took a year of drinking it for it to grow on me, but I still didn’t care for the taste. It was cheap though and it got the job done eventually.

Knowing Emma Camp, she’d have her hot tub hooked up and running. She’d have music blaring in the living room and beer pong set up somewhere in the house. Her older brother Abram was notorious back when he attended high school for throwing parties. I didn’t know how they got away with it, being in the center of town in one of the nicer neighborhoods, at least for town’s standards, with nosy assed neighbors. I don’t remember the cops ever being called though, but the party would be better than this. Luke obviously wanted to experience his first full blown party now that he had gotten a bit of a wild streak going on. Glancing at him now he was sipping his beer, that had to be getting close to room temperature by now. He was still watching people, but neither of us could relax, not completely. Bailey fucking Ashton and Connor being here threw all that out the window.

“What the fuck do you shits want to do?” I asked, starting to feel stir crazy myself.

“I could be relaxing with a strawberry daiquiri in Emma’s hot tub,” Lily said as she leaned against the wall leading into the kitchen. She was waiting for her drinks and stuff to cool, never really being a beer drinker like the rest of us.

“I don’t remember her asking you to leave, Lily,” Ally said, turning to stick her tongue out at Lily.

“And if I didn’t, you wouldn’t have talked to me until you forgot about it,” Lily countered, smiling as she pushed herself off the wall. “I don’t know what we can do here, Jack.”

“This place sucks,” Derek sighed, shoving another bite of pizza into his mouth.

“Deja de insultar mi casa, es hermosa,” Toby growled as he launched from Heather’s lap after just settling back down into it. I grabbed my nearly empty beer off the floor and held it away from them as they started rolling on the floor.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Derek grunted and I laughed watching Luke attempting to save the box of pizza out from under them.

“Toby’s been learning Spanish online,” Heather explained and we all watched as they both tried to get the upper hand by rolling on top of each other. “He said, stop insulting my beautiful house.”

“I didn’t!” Derek yelled as he kicked out. His leg connected with the television and I had to scramble to catch it before it hit the ground. I slid it back upright and onto the television stand, but I had spilled what little beer I had left onto the carpet.

“You did, you fat bastard,” Toby growled trying to squirm out of Derek’s grip. Derek was about a head taller than Toby and outweighed him by a good fifty pounds. He wasn’t fat, just thicker built than either of us. It was a true football body, Tate had him in the weight room working on a more specific set of weights than the rest of us. He was a defensive lineman and he was built like a brick shithouse because of it.

“Why are you learning Spanish, Toby?” Connor asked as if nothing was going on and we were all sitting around the table at school. I didn’t know he was learning Spanish either, so I was actually curious.

“We’re thinking about going to Cancun this summer after graduation,” Heather answered and this time we all looked surprised. This was the first set of plans we heard from anyone after graduation.

“No you’re not!” Ally hissed sliding her paper plate onto the coffee table. She had left the crust like the other girls. “We’re all staying together, this is our last summer.”

“We can all go,” Heather countered as she stood and grabbed up all the paper plates that were now being neglected.

“Alright, I give,” Toby groaned, “I think I feel your pecker on my leg and I don’t like it.”

“It’s my phone, dumbass,” Derek said, but scrambled off him anyway.

“Oh, that explains the size of it then,” Toby countered and I thought Derek was going to go in for a second round, but Toby held up his hands. They ended up halfway down the hallway leading to the bathroom and the two bedrooms.

“Cancun though,” Lily said and I looked up to see her holding a hard lemonade. She didn’t seem all that happy about the idea of losing Heather and Toby for the summer either. It only reminded me that we would be saying our goodbyes this year one way or the other. I expected if I ended up with a scholarship that I’d be leaving before them, I didn’t want to say goodbye to them one after the other, I wanted to rip that bandaid off all at once.

“Fucking forget about it,” Toby said as he stood grabbing up his beer from the coffee table. “Let’s get up to some shit.”

“Like what?” Luke asked and I turned to see him moving to stand up.

“Come up with something Church,” Toby said and I watched Luke sit back down shaking his head.

“Yeah, right,” Olivia snorted, rolling her eyes and when I turned to look at her, she was holding a bottle for herself. Seeing it I turned back to Luke who was staring at it, but he didn’t say anything.

“I know it is past your curfew, Olivia,” Luke said, moving to stand again. Once he was on his feet he motioned for me to hand him my plate. Empty I gave it to him and then handed him my beer can. I noticed people watching, but I just relaxed against the living room wall. Luke ignored everyone as he disappeared and found the trashcan in the kitchen.

“You told me you didn’t have a curfew, shit,” Connor said and I turned to see Olivia bouncing in his lap as he tried to slide out from under her.

“Oh shut up, Connor, I’m fine,” Olivia said, but she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek when he looked scolded. He relaxed though, but I watched him check the clock on his phone. To her credit, Olivia had to know Luke was grounded, but didn’t say anything.

“We can play a drinking game,” Heather suggested, “we bought a bottle of whiskey to give to Troy.”

“What kind of drinking game?” Luke asked as he came back into the living room. He was holding two more beers and when he walked around everyone who sat on the floor back to where Derek and I sat, he handed me a beer. I took it and opened it, lifting the can to my mouth. I drank about half of it before sliding it to rest between my legs.

“Never have I ever?” Heather asked and I grimaced, not wanting to play anything.

“I don’t know,” Lily said, her nose wrinkled, but everyone else has perked up so I knew the three of us would eventually be outnumbered.

“I’ll get some cups,” Toby said, scrambling to his feet. I watched him jog into the kitchen and after a small crash followed by a string of swearing he came back into the room. We cleared off the coffee table as Heather presented the bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet. It was a hundred proof and I cocked an eyebrow.

“That’s gonna burn,” Lily said as Toby unscrewed the lid and filled all the cups.

“You playin, Olivia?” Toby asked, holding the bottle to the rim of the last cup. There would be ten of us playing if Olivia played and when she nodded her head with a smile Toby shrugged ignoring the glare Luke shot her and filled the glass. Then like a card dealer he placed them in front of us. I took hold of mine, knowing I would need to chase it with a beer to keep it from burning up my stomach.

“To make it interesting, all questions are to the group,” Heather said as Toby screwed the lid back on the bottle and placed it in the middle.

“No sex questions,” Ally said, but that was quickly shot down by Toby and Derek. Looking at them I tried to get their attention.

“I’ll go first,” Toby said, scooting up to sit on his knees at the coffee table. Olivia was holding her cup, still in Connor’s lap. Knowing Toby, I knew his first question would be completely fucked up.

“Never have I ever got so wasted I pissed my pants,” he said and I already turned to Derek knowing the question was specifically for him. Ally was already giggling and Lily slid the cup over to him.

“I’ll get you back for that, Marks,” Derek growled as he downed the shot of whiskey. No one else had moved to take a drink, so Toby unscrewed the lid and filled Derek’s cup back up.

“Derek, go ahead,” Lily said, nodding her head towards him. “And I’d be careful if I were you.”

“Right,” Derek said, eyeing up Toby. I couldn’t think of many things the three of us weren’t guilty of together. Aside from a very important thing, I hoped we all stayed sober enough not to ask those questions.
“Never have I ever got caught watching furry porn,” Derek asked and I watched Toby nearly fall off his knees.

“I was already drunk!” Toby yelled when Heather shot him a look. “I didn’t know what it was!”

“Right,” Derek said and I laughed. As long as this kept up, the only two people that would be drunk would be the two of them. “Drink up buttercup.”

“Fuck you,” he groaned as he lifted his cup and downed the shot. Coughing he filled his own cup back up then chased the whisky with his beer.

“I’m learning way too damn much about you guys,” Bailey said, still clutching his cup with both hands.

“Never have I ever gotten a hard on in the locker room,” Heather said, breaking a small silence as we waited for someone to ask a question.

“That’s not fair,” Connor said, “girls can’t get those.”

“So?” Heather said as I sighed and lifted the cup. I wasn’t the only one either. I also knew Luke had to take a shot on this one, I was to blame for that. He was staring at his cup on the coffee table, but seeing me take my shot he grabbed his with a shrug then an exploratory sniff. When his nose wrinkled I smiled, but he took the shot and coughed. Derek reached over and smacked him on the back then slid a beer over for him to drink.

“Wow that was all of you, but Connor,” Lily said as she took the whisky bottle off the table and we all held our cups out for her to refill.

“How does that happen?” Ally asked, looking at Bailey. “I don’t ever feel anything when I’m in there.”

“Happens,” Bailey muttered and I watched his cheeks redden and I smiled.

“Yeah, a soft breeze can wake ‘em up,” Toby said as he knocked his shoulder against me. Heather leaned against the chair Connor and Olivia sat in. “I used to get a hard on all the time on the bus.”

“Someone else ask a question before Toby ruins it by spilling all his dirty secrets,” Olivia said, still holding her cup.

“Never have I ever had a sex dream about someone in this room,” Lily said immediately taking a shot. This one caught all of us and after the hissing and coughing died down we started laughing and looking around. I’ve had sex dreams pretty fucking much about every one of them, aside from Olivia, Connor, and Bailey. When I was younger the ones that involved Derek and Toby also involved a couple of girls, but lately they had shifted to Luke and sometimes the odd dream about Ally. Mostly it was Luke and when he held out his cup for refilling he glanced at me, his cheeks turning a shade of pink. I didn’t know if the liquor was starting to hit him or if he was remembering a dream. It was something I put in the back of my mind to ask him during one of our late nights texting.

“Who have you dreamed about Connor?” Olivia asked, snuggling against him. Connor shied away from her and looked down at the center of the coffee table.

“That’s not part of the rules, Olivia,” he countered, his face turning a deep shade of red. Olivia was already smirking like she knew the answer, but wasn’t going to say anything. I wondered what a full day around her would be like, Connor would know that better than anyone. Probably even Luke since he only really saw the Churcher and family side of her. Olivia could be wild if she wanted to, that much I was sure about.

“Never have I ever cheated on a person I dated,” Ally said and when I shot her a glare she cringed, but it was too late. I slowly grabbed my cup and threw it back, but after the second or third shot whisky lost some of the burn. I was starting to feel warm so I knew I was getting a little bit drunk.

“Well that was a scary assed question, thanks for that Ally,” Toby said raising his glass to her. I wondered if I could lie about it and they let me off the hook. They all knew what I did to Ally, it was no secret. Bailey and Connor were the only two in the dark as far as that went and I wasn’t even sure if Bailey didn’t know. He looked like he felt sorry for me and I hated him for it.

“Sorry!” Ally said, “I suck at thinking of questions to ask.”

We all sat awkwardly around the coffee table until Bailey got a text. It was a video. He held it up for Lily and Ally to see. It sounded like Emma was attempting to make some sort of prom queen campaign speech, but her words were slurred and it ended in a crash and people cheering and laughing before it cut out.

“She fell over the beer pong table,” Lily said as Ally rolled her eyes.

“And she called me trash,” she hissed, glancing at Bailey. “Play it again.”

Looking at Luke he had a happy little smile, but looked distant. When he swayed a little where he sat I knew the liquor had hit him. When he looked at me his smile widened and he ended up taking a drink from his cup forgetting all about the game.

“You alright there, Church?” Derek asked as he refilled the cup Luke held up.

“Yeah, I’m right here Derek,” Luke answered and everyone laughed, which made him laugh.

“Little bit of a light weight, aren’t you?” Bailey asked with a smirk. Part of me wanted to punch him for some reason, so I knew I was more than feeling the booze now myself. Bailey fucking Ashton had a very punchable face when I was sober.

“Never have I ever did any funny business in a public place,” Luke said, and I felt under the table for his knee. I let go when he shot me a half annoyed, half dazed look just before he took a drink. Olivia gasped holding her cup, stone cold sober apart from that one shot she took about having sex dreams. I hated that my idiot friends were all shooting me side eyed glances already guiltying my ass right in there with him. I personally didn’t think Tony’s center was exactly public, but I didn’t dare drink until someone else did, Luke was looking at me and I was worried he’d out me as a liar.

“I think we’re getting too fucking drunk for this game,” I said holding my cup for another refill against my better judgement.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Lily said leaning back on the couch. “I’ll be sick if I drink more whisky anyway.”

“No you guys!” Luke groaned, “I like this game.”

“Switch him off to beer?” Derek suggested, but Luke was already shaking his head. He was already too far gone for a switch off to do him much good. After his outburst though, Luke slumped down and rested his head on the coffee table.

“Am I drunk?” He said turning to lay his cheek against the wood instead of his forehead. “Is this what drunk feels like?”

“Yeah you’re drunk, Church,” Derek offered, patting him on the back. “And no, there’s a lot of different kinds of drunk, depending on your mood goin in.”

“Oh,” he said, snickering like the answer was funny.

“We better go,” I said, turning to him, hoping he would cooperate with me and not say anything. Still half snickering he nodded his head still resting it on the coffee table.

“Yeah it’s getting late,” Bailey said as he stretched and abandoned his cup on the coffee table looking over at Ally. She had driven him up here and I watched as she gathered up her bag and they both stood. They were both still steady on their feet, neither of them having to drink all that much during the game.

“I can’t believe I’m drunk,” Luke offered every word coming out slower than the one before it and I jumped when his hand under the table found my thigh.

“See you guys later,” I said and Ally waved at us as she followed Bailey out the front door closing it behind them.

“Do you want us to take him home?” Olivia asked, leaning forward and sitting her cup down. “He can stay in my basement until he sobers up.”

“Is that a good idea?” I asked not really knowing how her family is. If her parents were anything like Cindy, I wouldn’t think it would be a good idea for him to be anywhere near them.

“I don’t want to go stay in a basement,” Luke answered, trying to shake his head. “The room is spinning.”

“I’ll get him home,” I said and Olivia turned to Connor before she slid off his lap.

“Let’s get home, it is way past my curfew,” Olivia said and I laughed despite Luke’s hand inching towards my cock. I slapped his hand away, refusing to look at him, even after his hand smacked the bottom edge of the coffee table.

“Oww, why did you do that?” He asked and I looked at him to see him scowling at me. Connor hearing the word curfew again was hurrying around the living room. He ended up picking up all of our trash and taking it into the kitchen. I looked over to see Toby watching him with a smile, but didn’t make any move to stop him until Connor started to take the trash bag out of the can.

“Leave it,” Toby said, shaking his head. “You’re made of gold, Connor, pure fucking gold.”

“We’ll see y’all later,” Connor said smiling as he held out his hand for Olivia as he opened and held the door open for her. She took it and gave us a wave over her shoulder as they left. Hearing the door close Luke jumped and looked around, which caused everyone to laugh.

“They gone?” Luke asked, reaching for his cup frowning when he only caught air. “Now the good questions can start.”

“No, Luke,” I said, chewing on my lip. “We better get home so you can sober up.”

“I guess,” he groaned and I slowly stood stretching out my back and rolling my neck. Lily was already asleep on the couch so I knew Derek would be crashing here tonight.

“Are you good to drive?” Toby asked as he crawled a few feet before getting to his feet. He swayed, so I knew he wasn’t good to drive.

“Yeah,” I said and we both turned to see Luke still sitting at the coffee table.

“You better be,” Derek said as he climbed up off the floor and onto the couch. He leaned his head back against it and I knew it wouldn’t be long before he was asleep. Pulling out my phone I saw it was past two, but I hadn’t gotten any phone calls. Either Cindy was sitting and stewing in the living room or she didn’t know Luke had snuck out after all. By morning she would though and part of me felt like shit for being an accomplice, but the goofy assed look on Luke's face was priceless.

“I’ll help you with him,” Toby said and I nodded, hoping I didn’t end up having to keep both of them upright by the time we got to the truck.

“We’re gonna help you to your truck, Luke,” I said before I slid my hand under his armpit. He groaned as Toby grabbed his other side and we lifted him up. It took him a few moments to get his legs under him and he ended up leaning on Toby. Toby shrugged him over to me and he let me turn Luke around to face the front door. He left us standing to open it and when he got back we both threw Luke’s arms around our shoulders.

“I love you guys,” Luke said, squeezing us tighter and Toby looked at me laughing. “My legs are so heavy, is that part of being drunk?”

“No you’re past drunk, you’re wasted,” Toby answered as Luke half walked and half drug his feet as we slowly made our way to the door. I let Toby hold Luke as I stepped through the front door. I held out my arms and Toby handed him back to me, then like before we slung his arms over our shoulders and Luke smiled and pulled us into him. I could smell his deodorant mixed with the smell of beer on him. He was sweating, but he was also shivering from the cold air that he didn’t seem to be feeling right now.

Grabbing the railing I wrapped my other arm around Luke’s waist balling his shirt into my fist. I felt Toby’s arm slide across Luke’s back further up and we looked across him. When I nodded we both took the first step down. I half expected Luke’s weight to shift forward, instead he tensed and we waited for both of his feet to land firmly on the step we were standing on before taking the next step down. After the first couple though, Luke got the hang of it and I let out a long breath when we got him on solid and even ground again.

“You got it from here?” Toby asked and I watched him cross his arms over his chest rubbing them with his hands. He was wearing a t-shirt like the rest of us. I had forgotten my coat somewhere in the house, but I wasn’t about to go back and get it.

“Yeah,” I answered and he didn’t wait around before he bolted back up the stairs, taking two at a time. I watched him open and close the door behind us.

“It’s kinda dark out here,” Luke muttered and I felt for the front of the truck. He let me lead him to the passenger side of his truck and when I found the door handle and pulled, it opened and he grabbed hold of it like a life preserver.

“Where’s your keys?” I asked when I looked inside and didn’t see them hanging in the ignition.

“In my pocket,” he answered, his eyes going wide when I ran my hand down his side and felt around both front pockets. Feeling the lump of his keys in his left one and his phone in the other I reached inside his left front pocket shaking my head when he started laughing.

“What is it?” I asked when he didn’t stop laughing, even after I freed his keys.

“I’m so drunk,” he said laughing again and I now knew that Luke was a giggly drunk. I would have to remember to tell him that in the morning while he was nursing his hangover just before all hell broke loose when Cindy made her appearance again. It was going to happen that was about as predictable as breathing.

“You did alright,” I said as I got behind him and half helped him and half shoved him into the passenger side of the bench seat of his truck. I closed the door behind him and jogged around the front of the truck to the driver’s side. His shivering had gotten worse and when I started the truck I adjusted the heat and we sat not moving until it got warm then I adjusted the vents to blow directly on him. When his teeth stopped chattering and he relaxed against the seat I slowly backed out of the driveway until I was free of the other cars, then I turned the wheel until I could make a U-turn in Troy’s yard.

The gravel road was frozen, so the way back was rougher than the way in and Luke ended up sliding across the seat. He leaned his head against my shoulder and I jumped at the bottom of the hill in our field, about to pull out as his hand rested in my lap. When I glanced down I saw that it was palm up, but I could feel my cock responding to the thought of his hand being there. I was actually surprised I didn’t have whisky dick.

Pulling out of the field and heading home Luke was silent and I thought he had fallen asleep so I took every curve slowly. I didn’t know how his stomach would respond and I didn’t want him throwing up on me either and I swore under my breath that Toby lived so far out in the boonies, but when we got to our tiny neighborhood of three houses all in a row on the same boring assed side of the road, I slowed down and pulled into the driveway.

He surprised me when he lifted his head and looked out the windshield before turning to me. He had either been awake the entire time or had just woken up when the truck stopped moving. Instead of moving to get out though he rested his head back on my shoulder and I left the truck running to keep us both warm. It was dark out and Mom had forgotten to put the porch light on for us or she turned it off to give us more privacy coming home before she went to bed.

Without any kind of warning though I jumped when something pecked on the driver’s side window. It took me a while to realize what was happening and my stomach dropped when Cindy’s face came into view. I instantly shrugged Luke off my shoulder and he groaned and leaned against the back of the truck, but his hand was still in my lap so I nudged it off me and onto his lap before I killed the engine.

When the engine died she yanked the truck door open and I blinked against the brightness of Luke’s dome light. He let out another groan, but I was only staring at Cindy who was staring past me to Luke.

“So you decided to get him drunk,” Cindy hissed as I took the keys out of the ignition. “What else is he on?”

“Nothing,” I answered, still holding onto his keys.

“Get out,” she said, her voice colder than the air that invaded from the open door.

“I can take you both home,” I offered, not making a move to slide out of the truck. There was no use fighting or getting stubborn with her standing right there. For once she had the right to be angry, he had snuck out of the house when he was grounded and he did return home drunk. It wouldn’t help anything if I got pissed and told her he had a fucking good time doing it too.

“You will not be stepping one foot inside my house,” she said as she grabbed my shoulder. “Now get out of that truck.”

“Okay, damn,” I said, shrugging out of her grip. “Keep your hands off me.”

“Are you even sober enough to be driving?” She asked, but I knew she didn’t want an answer.

“What are you doing here Mom?” Luke asked, finally coming to. He was still too far gone to fully react to seeing her, but his face fell.

“Jackson,” Cindy said as she pushed herself past me to climb into the truck.

“I forgot something,” I said, my heart quickening when she shot me a glare and I realized I had just interrupted her, “he has my phone in his pocket.”

“Why is your phone in his pocket?” She asked, cocking an eyebrow as she turned to look him over. It was obvious there was a phone in his pocket and when she turned back to me I shrugged, not having an answer for her.

“Just goofing off,” I said and I watched her reach over and pull the phone out and I hoped the screen was dark, I didn’t know what his home screen would be, but Cindy didn’t even look at it before shoving it in my hands with enough force that I almost dropped it.

“Look what you’ve done to him,” Cindy said glaring at me. “Sneaking out of the house, disobeying orders, I won’t stand for this.”

“Look I’m sorry,” I started, but she shook her head.

“You’re not sorry, Jackson,” she said pointing her finger at me. “I want you out of our lives, I don’t like you, I never did. You’re so full of yourself and one day I pray you realize that, if not for yourself, for your parents and the people who actually love you.”

“Why?” I asked despite myself as my eyes blurred with unshed tears and I hated that I was letting her get to me as I stood outside my own house and loving her son. I wanted to yell at her and tell her to go to hell. That I would be seeing Luke whether she liked it or not. I wanted to, but fighting for him here with her now would only end with me losing him.

“So you breathing finally has a damn purpose,” she answered and I took a quick step backwards, nearly falling over my feet as she slammed the door.

I watched her back out of the driveway and turn for home. I turned with them and saw the headlights of his truck through the dead foliage and small copse of trees that divided our homes. Shivering I blinked and released the tears that had to fucking betray me earlier. I had Luke’s phone in my hand though, so at least that secret was still safe. I didn’t know when I would be seeing him to give it back to him though, not after tonight.

Walking up the short drive and up the stairs onto the front porch I felt for the doorknob, when it turned freely I pushed the door open and flipped on the porchlight for Dad to see his way in when he came home before closing the door behind me. Then I did something I hadn’t done since I was four years old during a thunderstorm when those were still scary. I walked up the stairs and into my parent’s room. Mom was asleep, but as if she sensed me I saw her stir and lift her head to look at me. Later I would blame this on the liquor never admitting that I just needed to be comforted by her right now.

“What is it?” She asked, but I just toed out of my shoes and she scooted to the middle and let me climb in beside her, turning my back to her. She pulled the covers over us, rubbing her warm hand over my cold arm as I buried my head into her pillow as she kissed the back of my head before resting her head against the back of mine until I fell asleep.