The Best Year - 33. Chapter 33

After the shower Luke had to get back home, he didn’t know exactly when Cindy would be back home. I walked him to the door not wanting to let him leave, but knowing I wouldn’t be able to convince him to stay. That and it was a school night and I didn’t feel like another Cindzilla rampage on my front steps, I doubted mom would’ve handled that well. I also didn’t want to see the conviction he has now, leave him. The strong set of his shoulders and the boundless energy as he fidgeted at my door, me holding onto his hand like a lifeline. It was a car that went down the road that I silently cussed that broke us and he turned with a smirk and bounded off the front steps to the yard.

Standing there with the door open watching the last fleeting glimpses when Mom came home had me shutting the door quickly and running up to my room. I wanted to make sure any evidence of what took place an hour or so ago was gone. Stepping inside my room I blushed at the state of the bed, but only smoothed out the covers and put the pillows back on the head of the bed. I heard her enter and take her shoes off at the front door when I grabbed my backpack and found my Calculus homework. I was finished with it, but pretended to be in deep concentration when she came up the stairs. She glanced inside my room and I gave her a small smile.

“How was practice?” She asked and I looked down at my notebook remembering practice. I was there all of fifteen minutes before Tony sent me home.

“It was okay,” I answered hoping Mom was tired enough to not stand just inside the door and talk.

“You didn’t eat your dinner,” she said and I grimaced when my stomach growled.

“Yeah I forgot all about it to be honest,” I said smiling when she shook her head.

“I’ll go put it in the fridge,” she said and I watched her leave my door. When I heard her start down the stairs I slid my homework back inside my bag and did one last sweep of the room before I snuck across the hall to the bathroom. Seeing that it looked normal I walked down the stairs hoping I didn’t reveal anything. It didn’t help that the feeling of being penetrated for the first time still lingered as well. It wasn’t something I would be getting used to, but hoped wouldn’t last that long as well. It didn’t make me want to walk bow legged like a cowboy home from a long ride, so at least that myth wasn’t true and I was glad of it.

“How was work?” I asked and when Mom cocked her eyebrow I knew that wasn’t a question I typically asked her.

“Fine,” she said, still eyeballing me as she finished putting my untouched food into tupperware. Sliding them into the fridge for me to warm up tomorrow.

“Well that’s good,” I said, looking away from her and mouthing swear words, my face getting warm.
“How was school with Cindy?” Mom asked closing the refrigerator door then she turned and poured her a glass of water. She would usually have a cup of decaf, but she mostly drank water and a little orange juice here and there now.

“Scary as hell,” I answered and she laughed. I didn’t want to tell her that it bothered Luke so much that he dumped my ass for a couple of hours. It wouldn’t have fit the happy mood that I was in now.

“Maybe she should’ve worked there when you were a freshman,” Mom said, taking a sip of her water. “Maybe then we wouldn’t have been called in to see Steven Welker as often.”

“Don’t wish that kind of torture on me, Mom,” I countered leaning against the pantry. When she laughed I pushed myself off the pantry as she walked with me out of the kitchen still holding her glass of water. We separated when I started up the stairs back to my room and she walked around the back of the couch. She had some papers spread out on the coffee table from earlier and probably will be up a little while longer looking over them.

Back up the stairs I noticed the small bottle of lube on the nightstand that I missed on my earlier sweep of the room. Knowing Mom was in my room I shuddered as I opened my nightstand drawer and slid it inside, closing it gently back. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was a half-assed reasonable time for a teenage guy to go to bed so I stripped down to my boxer briefs and pulled down the covers. After I got settled into bed I reached over and turned off my bedside lamp and stared at the ceiling. I ran my finger along the chiseled edge of the J of my necklace feeling the slight sharpness of it. I needed tomorrow to be normal, just a normal Tuesday where I was bored most of the day, amused by some shit Derek or Toby got up to until my open night of swimming with Charlie. Now that I had access to the pools again I wanted to make sure my conditioning was the best it could get heading into the championship meets.

After tossing and turning I didn’t know when I fell asleep until my alarm went off. Groaning I rolled out of bed and swiped my phone with my thumb killing the alarm. Then I walked across the hall to the bathroom. After a pee and a shower that woke me the rest of the way up I smiled as I dressed. I wanted to have hope that Luke would be back to normal today and not let Cindy bother him. I also couldn’t help imagining ways to get Cindy back for some of this too. Thoughts of thumbtacks glued to her chair kept coming to mind, but it felt too juvenile and lazy. I needed something big, but nothing came to mind. Mostly because she scared the fuck out of me and I didn’t know how it would affect Luke. If things got worse, I doubted the threat of Welker taking prom away or even Luke could stop me. Some people just have it coming to them.

Like usual Dad was in bed and Mom was already out the door. So I had my quick egg and cheese sandwich on toasted wheat bread Mom left for me and headed out the door. Unlike before, I was too early for school, but Cindy had been making Luke ride to work with her so I hoped he would be sitting in the cafeteria, maybe even sampling the nasty assed breakfast menu. When I stepped through the doors I scanned the room and groaned when the only person I saw at our table was Connor.

When I arrived at the table he looked surprised to see me. Unlike lunch, I sat across from him not having to sit next to him. It would be odd looking for two guys to sit next to one another with so many open chairs as it was.

“Mornin’,” I grumbled, glancing down at my phone. I thought about sending a quick text to Luke, but I wondered if he was being cooped up in Cindy’s classroom until the first bell. We still felt like lucky shits that she hadn’t found out about the phones.

“Hi,” he said, holding a cup of coffee from McDonalds.

“What are you doing here this early?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“I just broke into the Christian Athletes’ lockbox to repay some of my debts,” he answered shrugging.

“How many more of them do you owe?” I asked, trying not to snicker. The thought of him going around robbing every club in school amused me, Connor just didn’t fit the part. I fit the part perfectly.

“That was the last one,” he answered smiling.

“Ally said the prank was good,” I said watching him take a sip of his coffee. He smiled around the rim of his cup.

“I hope so,” he said, placing his cup back down on the table.

“What is it exactly?” I asked and when he looked nervous I glanced over my shoulder, but when I didn’t see anyone there, I glanced back at him. I didn’t think my question would have made him squirm.

“They told me not to tell you,” he answered, chewing on his bottom lip. “I will though, if you want me to.”

“Nah,” I answered, cocking an eyebrow.

“Good, I thought Heather was going to rip my balls off for not telling her about the Prom announcements,” he said leaning back in his chair, his eyes widening slightly. “She’s very determined.”

“Sic Olivia on her,” I said smirking when he laughed.

“So why are you here so early?” He asked and I fidgeted with my phone hoping the scowl on my face caused him to backtrack and apologize. When he didn’t I realized I might need to give Connor another dose of fear, I didn’t want to end up with my naked ass on his Mother’s phone again.

“Woke up early,” I answered shrugging.

“I saw Luke this morning when I was out sneaking around, his mother about made me piss myself,” Connor said, shaking his head. “Yelled at me for a full minute without taking a breath, I finally got her to see my school pass.”

“You have a school pass to be here before school starts?” I asked, wondering how I could get my hands on something like that.

“Not really,” he answered smiling. “I had it made, part of the master plan.”

“Oh,” I said, still not picturing it.

No one else came in that usually sat with us so Connor and I fell into an awkward silence. He slurped his coffee every now and then, which made me cringe hating the noise. I knew most of our friends wouldn’t be rolling into school until they were threatened with a tardy. Swearing at myself for thinking Cindy would ever let Luke out of her sight, I made a vow to never walk through these doors again with more than five minutes to spare. The cafeteria was filling up though, with underclassmen that didn’t drive and had to ride the buses. Some of them arrived hours ago red-eyed and tired. When I was forced to ride the bus I lived just far enough outside of town that I had to wait for the bus rather early, back when I was grounded and it sucked ass.

“Well, have a good first half of the day,” Connor said, bringing my attention back to him. I only nodded my head with a half-hearted smirk as we both stood. I walked beside him to the trash can so he could toss his cup in the garbade and we left the cafeteria through the sea of underclassmen together.

No one was at my locker when I got there so I just shoved my books for the later classes into it and grabbed my English homework. Closing my locker I jumped when Luke was standing silently on the other side of it. Seeing me jump he laughed and leaned against the cold metal. Ally was my locker neighbor and she never really came to it before first period now that we weren’t dating. The guys shared a locker on the other side of me, but they likely hadn’t even arrived yet.

“What the fuck,” I hissed shouldering my backback. My first class was just behind me. All of the English and foreign language classes were down on this level. Seeing him calm though made me smile and I hoped I didn’t look like a goofy dumbass, but I couldn’t help it.

“Well you’re not walking funny,” he whispered and my eyes shot around to the people within earshot.

“Shut up,” I groaned, still looking around. “You’re fucking brave today.”

“Yeah,” he said, sighing. “I figured I’d try acting more like you.”

“So you want to be in Welker’s office before lunch?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow. Looking past him I already knew where my eyes would fall. Cindy was standing outside her freshman english class ushering them inside. She was looking at us though and I wanted to take a step back. With him leaning against the lockers and me standing so close, I wondered what we looked like. I definitely wasn’t this comfortable with Derek or Toby. We mostly shoved one another and goofed off, knocking one another into unsuspecting people walking by. We didn’t stand face to face smiling like idiots, maybe if we were still a bit tipsy from an odd party that happened on a school night.

“I just don’t want to be scared of my own mother,” he said, offering me a tight smile.

“Well then don’t turn around,” I said, turning back to face him as I took a half-step back pretending to readjust my backpack.

“I know,” he said, glancing around the hallway. “I wish more of the guys showed up so it wouldn’t look so odd.”

“It’s not odd,” I said, following his eyes as he continued to watch people. Although I had just been thinking the same thing. “We’re just fucking paranoid.”

“And I hate it,” he added, rolling his eyes, turning back to me. “I better get going though.”

“Yeah,” I said as the first tardy bell rang. The second one meant you were late for class. I gave him a small smile as I turned and entered my first class thinking about thumbtacks glued to seats again.

The first half of the day was completely normal though. Ms. Chapel had me reading for longer than I thought she should’ve. My throat was dry by the time she called on someone else and I was thankful to just follow along. We were in the closing scenes of what I hoped was my final Shakespere experience. We’d be tested on it soon after, but I used cheat sheets to half-ass understand what I was reading. I just didn’t get poetry, even in play form.

Calculus we had a pop-quiz that took up most of the day. Toby was scrambling with his homework when Tuck announced the damn thing. Swearing under his breath he just passed his half-finished homework forward and started drilling Heather on what he should know. How he managed a passing grade so far amused me, but when I finished and flipped my paper over I saw that sweat was beading on his temple as he concentrated. To her credit Heather did a good job leaning to one side to let him copy her work without Tuck noticing. Time was called just before he finished and he nearly fell out of his seat looking at Heather’s work one last time to get the answer. When he passed up his paper Heather glanced at it and swiftly finished his work before sending it forward.

“I think I need to come over and tutor you before you flunk out and have to repeat the year,” Heather whispered as we settled in to relax for the rest of the period.

“We wouldn’t get much done,” he said, winking at her. To her credit, Heather didn’t seem phased by what he said. She had to be used to it by now anyway.

“So Church looked like he was in a better mood,” Heather said, turning to look at me. I would’ve rather been ignored and disgusted by their public display of affection. She had used his nickname that Toby gave him though. I wondered when that happened since the girls hardly ever did that sort of thing.

“Yeah,” I offered, shrugging. “Cindy has him freaked out.”

“You seem pretty fucking happy too,” Toby whispered leaning across the aisle towards me.

“Yeah?” I said, feeling my face getting warm. I didn’t want to break eye contact with him, if I did I probably would have given it all away. Looking at Toby though, his face turned from an easy smirk to one of awestruck horror.

“My fuck,” he said and we both glanced at Heather who already had an amused smile playing on her lips.

“Shut up,” I groaned, turning back to my desk to gather my things ready to bolt if I needed to.

“Neither of you are walking funny,” he said and I reached over and punched him in the arm. It was a harder punch than I intended and when he cussed and rubbed his arm Tuck nearly fell out of his chair. He was too engrossed in grading the pop quizzes to know who interrupted him, but more than a few people around us laughed. No one ever talked in here so I doubted he even recognized the different voices and I doubted he could place any of us.

“You talk way too fucking much,” I said shaking my head.

“Just wait until Derek hears about this,” Toby said, glancing at Heather. “He’s corrupted our poor Church.”

Thankfully the bell rang before I could lean back over and get hold of him again. This time I was going to strangle the life out of him in the middle of the classroom. Grabbing my backpack they met me at the door and Toby reached over and wrapped me into a headlock as he muscled us through the door with me trying to get away from him. Heather followed us laughing as I finally managed to get out of his grip and tripped him. Not ready for it he ended up sprawled out on the hallway floor cussing me.

“Boys, my room now!” Yelled from somewhere behind us. I didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Cindy. Glancing down at Toby I offered my hand and when he grabbed hold I pulled him back to his feet.

“See you two idiots later,” Heather whispered, then she looked at Toby. “Do not get yourself thrown out of prom, so help me I’ll end you.”

“I won’t,” he said as we turned and walked down the hallway towards her. Glancing around, more than a few people had stopped walking to see our slow march, one of them unsurprisingly being Olivia. She slow clapped when we passed and I shot her a glare.

“Ms. Clarke get to class,” Cindy barked as we closed the gap between Mr. Tuck’s room and hers. Why the Math and English classes were down here, I never understood, but it probably had something to do with the Science classes being fire hazards on the top floors and all the exits being down here.

“I’ll get there in plenty of time, Aunt Cindy,” she said, but Olivia didn’t wait for any response from Cindy. Rolling my eyes when she shot me a wink. When I turned back around I saw Luke hitting the last step. He came to a complete stop right in front of some freshman girl who knocked into him. If she hadn’t already had a hand on the railing she would have fallen. She looked completely put out by the sudden stop, but managed to walk around him. Luke didn’t seem to notice that he had been practically run over either as he stared at me and Toby.

“Today boys,” she said as her next class of freshmen were starting to queue up at her door. I momentarily thought about walking slower, to run her out of time. She wasn’t a disciplinary teacher, she wasn’t even my fucking teacher. The only reason I was walking towards her now was to keep Luke from getting into trouble.

“Mrs. Clarke,” Toby started as soon as we were within a few feet of her. “I tripped, I swear.”

“Tobias Marks,” she said, shaking her finger at him. “That’s a lie I saw the whole thing.”

“Of course you did,” he said, sighing as I elbowed him.

“I should give you both after school detention with me,” she continued as she looked between the two of us. If that’s all she did, we’d be lucky, but I couldn’t imagine what after school detention would look like with her. I doubted it would be just sitting there doing homework like the few times I had it in the past with Welker.

“Don’t you have something better to do with your time?” Toby asked and I shot him a glare. “We were just having a little fun, no one got hurt.”

“Young man this isn’t the place for that,” she said and I saw her raising up to full Cindzilla. Her face was flushed and she hadn’t even gotten to the back talking yet. “You will be quiet now and you will listen to me.”

“You’re a substitute teacher,” he said, waving his hands out to his sides.

“Toby that’s enough,” I said hoping she didn’t hear me.

“No she needs to get that stick out of her ass,” he said and my mouth fell open as she took a step towards him.

“Welker’s office, now,” she said as he smiled and fell in step beside her as freshmen darted into the classroom with big assed amused smiles plastered on their faces. I half expected her to turn around and tell me to follow along. She never did though and as they rounded the corner heading to the front offices near the main entrances Toby turned and smiled at me before disappearing. Glancing around I saw that Luke still stood on the bottom step, but now he was looking at me. We had lunch next and only had to check in with our teacher for roll call before leaving so I walked over to him having to go up to the second level for Chemistry with Connor.

“What happened?” He asked, reaching for my arm, but seemed to think better of it and let it fall back to his side.

“Toby and I were goofing off,” I answered shrugging. “I think he took the bullet for me.”

“I hope Welker goes easy on him,” he said as he took the final step down. “See you at lunch, I guess.”

“Yeah,” I said and bounded up the stairs as the tardy bell rang. Mrs. Morgan didn’t really mind people being a few seconds late, but I would be pushing it.

When I got checked in and back down the stairs, everyone else was already at the table. I was surprised to see Toby sitting there, I figured Cindy would just be getting started with him. He seemed to be in the middle of retelling what happened as I made my way to them.

By the time I got there Heather was scolding him, shaking her head. Luke looked completely put out by the entire thing and Olivia looked like she was watching her favorite television show. All she needed was some popcorn.

“Well at least you only got after school detention for the week,” Heather said, shaking her head.

“We need to get that witch back somehow,” Derek said then he glanced over at Luke. “Sorry Church.”

“Please don’t, I have to live with her,” Luke said and all the imagining of paybacks from me left me when I saw the defeated set of his shoulders as he looked down at his tray. “We’re just here for like two more months tops.”

“Alright fine,” Derek said, sighing. “Only for you, though.”

“I think it would do her some good,” Olivia said as she twisted the cap on her water bottle.

“You do it then,” Ally said and I glanced over to see her mid-eye roll, “we can’t, we run the risk of missing out on prom.”

“Speaking of prom,” Heather said and I glanced beside me to where Connor was sitting. He went rigid in his seat.

“Not this again,” Olivia said, shaking her head. “If you could be trusted not to lose your shit, we’d tell you.”

“I can’t believe you told her,” Heather said, still glaring at Connor. “Where’s your senior loyalty?”

“In my pants,” Olivia countered and I looked to see that Luke was mid-swallow. When he started coughing Derek reached over and hit him squarely between his shoulder blades, his face getting redder by the second.

“Olivia,” he groaned, still coughing up his water. I didn’t miss the glare he shot Connor either. For the first time he looked like his mother aside from her blond hair and brown eyes. I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing wondering how Olivia hadn’t been kicked out of church yet. Either way, I knew I was leaving this shithole school in good hands for at least the two years she still had here.

“I’m joking,” Olivia said in the most unconvincing tone she could manage. I looked over and saw that Connor was turning a sickly pale shade, it pretty much told me everything I needed to know as well. “I’m just tired of this prom nonsense. One of your themes was selected, the water damage from homecoming took a lot of funding to clean up and Prom took the hit.”

“What theme?” Lily asked, leaning around Derek to get a better look.

“The masquerade one,” Connor answered and I grimaced, not really liking themes to begin with. I just wanted to go and hang out with my friends, dance awkwardly, then get my crown and go out to a real party.

“Nice,” Lily said, seeming relieved. “That’s the one I suggested.”

“It is the one that works since most of the decorations would be on our own faces,” Connor explained, shrugging. “They’re doing a lot of fake red and black roses with drapery and a chandelier they’re borrowing from drama club.”

“Do you know everything that happens in this school?” Ally asked, rolling her eyes.

“Don’t you?” He asked and I feared for Connor’s health. Being put through all this couldn’t be healthy on anyone. Color was coming back to his cheeks though and he was calm enough to take a couple tentative drinks of water, still refusing to look at Luke.

“Well it isn’t a complete loss,” Heather said, turning to Connor. “You could have saved yourself a lot of time by telling us earlier.”

“At least this gives us more time to have the perfect masks made to match our dresses,” Lily said, sounding excited about the idea. I glanced at Luke knowing it was another high school milestone we couldn’t share together. At least homecoming came and went and we were able to skip that dance. Being covered head to toe in water based paints that glow under blacklights was a good consolation, but Prom wouldn’t go away. The school would have to burn to the ground before that happened. He only managed a tight smile, his face still red from choking before looking back down at his tray and I jumped slightly when a foot slid against my leg from across the table.

The rest of the day all the talk ended up being about Prom. It was coming up in a couple of weeks. Cheerleading competitions were over and all the girls had to look forward to were basketball games. Their schedules weren’t as full as mine so they could visualize it better than I could. Toby and Derek had nothing to do now that football was over and I almost felt sorry for them having to pretend to be into all the discussions. I had districts before prom to keep me busy. I still would need to rent a tux though.

I was relieved when the last bell rang, glad to get away from everyone. Luke would be riding home with Cindy. Toby would be left behind to start his detention. At least it was with Welker. I still had Charlie waiting for me at Tony’s so I slid into my car and drove home to eat a quick meal and grab my swimming equipment before making the just over an hour drive to the center.

When I got there though, Tony’s shiny black escalade was parked beside Charlie’s car. He usually never showed up off hours. Grabbing my swim bag from the back seat I slid out of the car and locked it down behind me as I entered the front foyer. I could already hear Charlie in the water through the open doors and when I entered Tony was quietly watching him. Seeing me he waved me into the room with his hand, but he didn’t offer me a smile or hello.

“Come on to the office Jackson,” Tony said when I got close enough to hear him.

“Am I in trouble?” I asked, readjusting my bag over my shoulder.

“No,” he answered over his shoulder as I quickened my pace to fall into step beside him. Charlie was working on his backstroke, but never broke technique to look at me.

When we were in his office he flipped on the light and I let the door close behind us. He motioned for me to take a seat across from him. When I did he reached into his desk drawer and pulled out some thick and fancy looking envelopes. They were already open, but I couldn’t see who they were addressed to, but some of them had matching colors from the packages back home. Seeing them my heart rate quickened and I felt myself lean forward.

“What are those?” I asked just as he was about to flip open the torn envelope and retrieve the letter inside.

“These are letters from some of the universities that were interested in you,” he said, sighing. “Why didn’t you tell me you hadn’t looked at your recruitment packages?”

“I don’t know,” I said, placing my hand on his desk. “What do they say?”

“Due to the lack of interest from Jackson Forrest we have decided to close our recruitment and focus on other athletes,” Tony read, glancing up at me when he finished. “Will I receive more of these in the mail?”

“Yes,” I answered, my mouth going dry. “I thought I had more time.”

“It is nearly the end of the season,” Tony said as he reached up and rubbed his eyes before letting his hand fall gently back to the desk to rest beside his other one. “Are you no longer wanting to pursue swimming after high school?”

“I do want to,” I answered, nodding my head.

“The last time I saw you, you were upset,” Tony said, his blue eyes falling on me. “I don’t try to meddle with personal business, but I want to know if this has something to do with me?”

“No,” I answered, glancing down at the envelopes. “How many of them have sent you letters like that?”

“All but two,” he answered, “Now answer me, have I or anyone here caused you to reconsider your future in swimming?”

“No it’s not like that,” I answered, swallowing hard. “I still love swimming.”

“The last two aren’t good fits for you,” Tony said as he reached inside the same drawer he retrieved the letters from. He grabbed a small post-it note with the names of the last two universities that were still holding out on me. “One is a completely new program, they don’t have a lot of funding and no facilities are being built yet so you would lose a ton of time. The other one is a very strict, very religious private school and we both know that isn’t the place for you.”

“No,” I said, nodding. “It wouldn’t be.”

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you,” he said as he balled up the post-it note and tossed it into the trash can beside his desk.

“So what now?” I asked, trying not to cry in front of him again.

“You advance to the State championship invitationals,” he answered, offering me a small smile. “If you do well in districts and regionals there will be interest, but you will have to actually open the damned packages.”

“I know,” I said looking towards the door wanting to get out of the office and into the water. I was close to freaking out in front of him again and I didn’t want that to become a habit. I wanted to smell the familiar smell of chlorine and blink at the brightness of the center compared to the dimly lit office.

“Don’t put added pressure on yourself,” he said as he stood and rolled his chair back under his desk. “Do what you are capable of and you will be fine.”

“Have I messed up?” I asked reaching up to wipe a tear from my cheek before it got too far down.

“Yes you have,” he answered and I knew Tony would never sugarcoat anything. “Some of those were some damn competitive schools and they wanted you. Just breathe and move on though, that’s all you can do.”

“Okay,” I said and when he nodded for me to get the door I walked over and grabbed the handle.

Being back outside of his office and seeing the water and Charlie taking a break I held the door open just long enough to realize that Tony had no intention of following me. Letting it close I nearly ran to the locker rooms to get changed. Time was something I forgot I never had. I should have ripped open those packages the moment I got home, but I hadn’t. The thought of them physically sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for me had me running to the toilet, but I calmed myself down before I lost my lunch.

Tony must’ve said something to Charlie before I got there, because Charlie wasn’t the type to let people be upset. Remembering the hug from yesterday I finally started undressing, glancing up at my name carved in a brass nameplate on my locker and I wondered if I would ever see my name on another one. Tony said I still had time, but I knew I didn’t. My dream was to get out of this small shithole town and swim and take this as far as I could. For the first time I felt like my heart was being pulled two different directions. One back to a treeline beside my house where a blond haired boy liked to walk for fuck knows why. The other far enough away that no one knew my name or my story.

“Let’s get in the pool, Jackson,” Tony bellowed from somewhere outside of the locker room. Hearing his voice I jumped and grabbed my goggles and nose clip. Sighing I walked out of the locker room knowing I was back where I started. I hoped the lie Tony told me back in his office somehow came true and I hadn’t completely messed everything up by living in small moments out in the woods with the guy I loved. I didn’t regret a second of any of it though and I wondered if that told me all I needed to know.

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