Morningstar: The Malaise - 39. Chapter 39 Healer Interrupted

Morningstar: The Malaise

Chapter 39

Kellar turned his full attention back to Logan as he returned to human form. He had to get a grip on his hatred for the man who’d been mere inches away… seconds… from harming his mate. He’d also been scant seconds from his own death. He pulled in a few deeps breaths, and felt the calming presence of Tobyn’s arm sliding around his waist.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fucking pissed, though. He would have killed you. All his teeth were showing as he stalked you from behind.”

“What? That little wolf? I’d have kicked his furry ass.” Tobyn teased, continuing their thought-speak.

It worked. Kellar relaxed somewhat, flickering to observe the man being helped up off the ground, but the healer part of him still remained dormant. He was a little surprised that despite the strength of his urge to crush Logan’s throat in his jaws, he hadn’t broken any skin.

When he spoke, though, Kellar's voice sounded different, like the growl of his wolf thrummed beneath it. “You! You went after my mate. I would have been justified in killing you for the threat alone.” His fists automatically clenched and his lip curled.

Logan, leaning on his father, turned to him. “I… I shouldn’t have… I’m sorry. I don’t know what is….”

Remorse? Was the real Logan still in there? Kellar took notice when his head suddenly resumed that weird tilt. “You don’t know what? That you’ve lost your mind? Why you’ve become a danger to everyone around you?”

“I haven’t… I’m not a danger….”

“Shut up,” Kellar said, barking out those words with the same growl. “You need to listen and hope there’s still time.” Screw Logan’s right to privacy, he decided at that moment. The man had just proved he deserved no such consideration. “You may not want your diagnosis, but I’m giving it to you anyway. You’ve got a huge fucking tumor in your skull, and it’s pressing in on your brain matter like a big fist. It’s making you irrational enough that you’d try to attack and possibly kill my mate, a fellow shifter who came here to do nothing but help you and everyone else at Vega.”

Kellar ignored the disturbance his words had caused throughout Logan’s pack, continuing to blast the pathetic jerk. His anger surged again. “You’re showing signs of severe paranoia, erratic thinking, and a complete lack of empathy. From what I heard from Delia earlier, you’re suffering memory loss, and quite frankly, there’s not a chance in hell you’ll be alive in six months. You may not even be alive six days from now. Do you fucking hear me?” His volume had increased to a shout as he spoke, and Tobyn’s squeeze on his arm made him realize it. He wasn’t sorry.

“Tumor? I wouldn’t have killed him. I was only….”

“Shut up! I said you needed to listen. What? You were just going to lick him? Get fucking real, Logan. You need to fight this. Yes, it’s a tumor, and you’re not you anymore. The big-ass growth in your skull has seen to that.”

Logan opened and closed his mouth, appearing uncertain… distressed even. “Dad? Am I going to die?”

Clarence glanced at Logan before turning his pained expression to Kellar. “Please. Is there anything you can do for my son?” He showed zero surprise at the disclosure… he just looked desperately sad.

The healer part of Kellar finally sparked, and began to emerge at Clarence’s plea, replacing the seething anger enough that he could reply with compassion. “I can try. I will try, if Logan cooperates, but there’s no guarantees… not to how he’ll be when I’m done. Your son is messed up, Clarence.”

“I understand. Logan will cooperate. That’s one guarantee I can make.”

“Dad. I don’t want….”

“Shut your mouth, Logan. For God’s sake, do what Kellar says and fight to understand this. You need help, and we don’t want to lose you. All of us have watched the changes in you over the last couple of years, and we’ve been powerless. Now we’re not. We love you, and you are going to let this good man try to help you. Count your blessings he’d even consider it after what you just did. Do you get it? Or do we have to knock you unconscious?”

Logan’s reaction was completely unexpected. His head twisted extremely to the right, and it jerked violently; pain blossomed across his face, and without thinking, Kellar stepped close and reached out to him. Grabbing his arm as a full-body spasm occurred, Kellar sent an unrestrained blast of healing energy into the man. It was the first time he’d ever done such a thing, but he’d reacted on instinct. At first he was alarmed when the Alpha’s son slumped in his father’s arms, until he checked the man’s colors. Damn. I’ve put him to sleep.

“Tobyn, did you see that? I put him to sleep with a touch.”

“I knew your healing was getting stronger.”

“What happened? Is he okay?” Clarence’s voice revealed his rising panic.

“Yes, he’s fine. His colors are the same. I directed some healing energy into him… it put him to sleep. He was starting to seize, and was in severe pain.” He wasn’t going to tell Clarence it was his first time doing such a thing.

“He had a mild seizure a few days ago, and that wasn’t the first time, but he didn’t pass out like this.”

“It’s okay, Clarence. He didn’t pass out; I put him under. Do you understand?”

“Right, yes. Sorry. Thank you for doing that.”

Kellar got that the man was in turmoil, and struggling. “Trust me, okay? I won’t hurt him. I think Logan has moved up the priority list, though. Is there some place close we can take him so I can go to work? I’ll need some boiling water to make a tea… I use plants to assist my healing, and he needs to be in a bed that, if he falls out of, he won’t hurt himself. It’s not likely, but possible he could seize again during the healing.”

“We can do all that in the center. We have a clinic room. It has a bed with rails and a hand crank for different positions.”

“Perfect. Tobyn, could you make the tea? I don’t want to leave him for any length of time. It would be easiest if he didn’t regain consciousness until it’s ready.”

“Yeah, of course. Which plants?”

“Clarence, will you and some of the men take him in? I’ll be right there.” Kellar watched them do a four man carry and turned to get the needed ingredients out of the truck.

“What do you think, doc? Can you help him?”

“I have to, for Tilly’s sake.” He sighed after procuring the plants needed. “I have some doubts, babe. I know I can shrink the tumor. It’ll be the biggest one I’ve ever done, but that isn’t what worries me.” He looked around, but everyone had gone back inside, their concern for Logan evident. “What will these people think if I don’t fully heal him? His symptoms are pretty severe. There could be permanent brain damage already. Some of the tumor color has bled into the brain cells.”

“Oh shit. Cancer?”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure it isn’t. He’s had this a long time, and there’s no shade of cancer anywhere. No, I’m thinking it might mean dead brain cells. I’m not a doctor, though. I’m hoping it’s a symptom of the pressure the tumor is creating. Everything has to be pretty squished in there.”

Tobyn chose that moment to give him a hug. “I have faith in you, okay? And like you said, his days are numbered if you don’t help him.” His lips curled upward with a hint of a grin. “But, I think you should put some clothes on before you go back in there. You ripped your shorts and shirt pretty good.”

“Oh yeah,” he said with a grateful smile. “I was in a bit of a hurry... even though you would have kicked his furry ass.”

Tobyn snickered as he kissed him, before letting him loose. “Damn right. Now cover up before all those women inside start drooling.”

The clinic room would do nicely. There were a couple of well-padded chairs, and that was good thing, because Kellar knew what was coming would certainly rival Adelin’s healing in length. Stronger, he definitely was, but there was still a good chance he would need Tobyn with him for an energy boost. Mainly, though, he needed his mate near for support. He was anything but calm with so much riding on this. Aside from pack relations, Logan was Tilly’s earth mate, and their pledge to her loomed large.

Kellar noticed an added bonus. Aside from the different positions for the patient, the bed itself could be raised and lowered, and that would help with his and Tobyn’s comfort. Flickering, he saw no change in Logan, but the size of the tumor gave him pause. A part of him was very concerned at the changes it had incurred. He wasn’t too worried about doing any harm to the shifter… only whether his patient would become the original, caring Logan his father and Delia had referred to. All he could do was try. But first he had to wait for the man to regain enough consciousness to drink the strong tea Tobyn was preparing at this very moment.

Plants were no longer needed for some of his healing, as was proved by his and Tobyn’s after their encounter with the younger Reznick, but he wanted to ensure the tea’s properties would be there if needed, and his gut told him they would be. Non-cancerous tumors, as a rule, were pretty straightforward, or at least they had been in the past. He’d really only dealt with a few smaller ones, and none of those had been in the brain. He took a deep breath. Clarence and three other members were in the room and all eyes were on him.

“Do you think he’s all right?”

The father’s fear tugged at Kellar’s heartstrings. “For now, Clarence. He’s sleeping. We need him to wake up enough so he can drink the tincture Tobyn’s making. It will help me shrink the mass causing the trouble. The thing is, there’s no way I can tell how much brain damage, if any, has occurred. The changes are severe, so his instability could stick around.”

“But he won’t die?”

“No, that’s not a concern of mine. I told you there were no guarantees, and there aren’t, but I don’t think that’s a possible outcome here. It isn’t cancer, and there are no deep roots penetrating the brain itself. It’s an encapsulated mass, so it’s the pressure that has done this. It’s a matter of whether that pressure has destroyed brain cells, and whether Logan’s escalating impairments are permanent.”

Clarence’s sigh was followed by a silent sob, the shake of hunched shoulders giving it away. “As long as my boy doesn’t die. That’s all I ask.”

Kellar reached out and laid a hand on the shorter alpha’s arm, sending the tiniest trickle to alleviate some of his anxiety. “I’m going to bathe the area around the tumor with healing energy as I shrink it, and the ways my healing has improved since I found my mate, there’s a decent chance it will help restore the son you remember. Much of his deterioration could be amplified by pain, so let’s hope for the best. That pressure has to cause severe and prolonged headaches at the very least.”

“There are times he screams in his sleep. He usually vomits on those nights.”

“Well, when I’m done, that part will surely be improved. Clarence?”

“Yes?”

“Just remember, please. I’m not a medical doctor, and I’m not trained. I work on instincts I can only assume have been passed down to me. I’ve read every medical journal I could get my hands on, but my healing itself is full of unknowns.”

“I have no expectations, Kellar. Only hopes.”

“Good. I have hopes too. I must warn you this will take a long time. And it might take days for us to know how he’ll be, okay? He may not regain consciousness until long after the healing is finished.”

“If Logan gets a few days’ rest, it will be a blessing. The boy never sleeps more than a couple of hours at a time.”

“It’s ready,” Tobyn said as he walked in with a covered mug. “Is everything all right in here?’ He set the tea on the counter than ran along one side of the room.

“Yeah, we’re just waiting for him to wake up. His breathing has changed so it shouldn’t be long.”

“Do you want us to leave?” Clarence asked. Kellar was pleased his trickling had succeeding in calming the man.

“No. Not till we have the liquid into him. He will probably be erratic when he comes to, and we might need help. It’ll be best if you feed him the tea. He has to swallow all of it, and then the mashed up part has to go in against his cheek where I can draw on it if need be.” Logan, on cue, began to stir. “He’s waking… you can grab the tea now, but don’t let him hold the cup, Clarence.”

The alpha nodded as he picked up the mug and moved closer to the bedside.

Logan’s eyes popped open, and he sat up almost simultaneously. “What’s going on?”

“Son? Do you remember what you did? No, stay on the bed. Logan!” Clarence commanded as the glaring man started to rise. “If you don’t stay still, we are going to physically hold you there.”

It seemed to work. “I don’t understand. Why am I here?” Kellar noticed his head wasn’t tilted, and wondered if his healing blast had lessened the pain.

“We’re here because you’re sick, and Kellar is going to try to heal you.”

He half stared, half glared at Kellar. “How do you know he’s not a quack?”

“Because I trust him. Now I want you to drink something for me.”

“I don’t want to drink anything. I want to get out of here.” The crazy head lean was becoming visible again.

“Logan. Do this for me, please. Do it for Alpha Stanley.” The plea changed to another, louder command, and Logan turned his head, with an expression that was hard to decipher.

“Am I really sick? Sometimes I feel wrong… I can’t….”

“I know.” His father’s voice softened to a coaxing tone. “I’ll hold the cup and you drink this. It won’t take long, and then you won’t get those headaches anymore.”

“I won’t?” Kellar was struck by how much he sounded like a little boy in that moment. Logan never took his eyes off his dad as he opened his mouth and sipped the tea. He cooperated until it was gone. “It tastes like shit.”

Clarence smiled. “Yes, but it’ll take away the pain. Now, I’m going to put this in your mouth and you push it against your cheek, okay?”

Kellar, mesmerised by the interaction between father and son, wanted to warn him not to swallow it, but stayed quiet as he watched Logan comply.

“Good boy. That’s my good boy. Don’t move that medicine from your cheek, okay?

Logan nodded, eyes still connected to his father’s.

“Now, lay back down, and it will only take a few minutes.”

“Please, do I have to? I’m sorry for what I did. I wasn’t going to hurt him, that shifter. What’s his name?”

“His name is Tobyn, and this isn’t punishment, Logan. Trust me on this. I’m your father and I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

Kellar moved up to the other side of Logan, laying a hand on his bare arm. Logan’s eyes took on a confused cast at first, and then he stiffened. Another seizure was on its way, and Kellar put him under before it took hold. He regulated it this time, but the less powerful blast was just as effective. “He’s under; it’s time we got started. You can stay in the room if you want, Clarence. Are you ready, Tobyn?”

“I am. Are we doing the same as with Adelin?”

“Yeah, let me start first, and you can join me if my energy drops too low.”

Tobyn gave him a questioning look before he spoke. “Don’t wait till you get so depleted this time. There’s no need for that.”

Kellar gave him a little smile. “Yes, dear,” he sent. “Okay, so maybe the rest of you can leave. It’s not a very exciting thing to watch. If he does start to thrash around, we’ll give a shout. Clarence, you’re going to need a comfy chair, and I’ll explain what we’re doing as we go.”

Four hours later, Tobyn went to prepare more tea. The tumor had shrunk at a steady rate but there was a long way to go yet. Kellar groaned as he twisted his neck and back. He’d come up out of his healing trance when he realized the rate of reduction had slowed down. He flickered to see the brain had moved outward to take the room that had become available. It allayed some of his fears about the surrounding tissue, because there was less offending color, like it might be coming back to life. That encouraged him.

“Will you wake him up again?”

Kellar had forgotten about Clarence sitting in the corner behind him. His voice was weak and there was a noticeable tremor in it. The man was scared to death. “No, he won’t wake up for a long time. Come around here so I don’t have to twist. I don’t want to remove my hand from the back of his head and break contact.”

An anxious father appeared at the bedside. “How will you get him to drink the tea then?”

“It won’t be a problem. Now that he’s so completely under, there’s no worry of him choking it out… the healing relaxes everything… we’ll dribble it in slowly and massage his throat. I’ve done this a number of times. We’ll change the clump against his cheek too.”

“Is he… is it working?”

“I’m sorry. I should have told you right away. Yes, it’s working, and he’s improving. It’s going well, but there’s a long way yet before we’re done. That’s good, though. I don’t want the mass shrinking too fast because the less shock to the brain, the better. That’s my opinion anyway. The colors of the tissue around what’s left are looking a little better, but it’s really hard to judge anything at this point.”

“Oh, thank God… thank you. Are you okay? You look tired.”

“Yes, I’m fine. It really helps when Tobyn lends me his energy.”

“Are you talking about me, doc?” Tobyn walked into the room with the new batch, knowing exactly what to do after their experience with Adelin. “I let it cool some. I’ll pour and you do your thing. Ready?”

“Yes, dear,” Kellar sent, smiling at his mate. “Are you hanging in there?”

“I feel right as rain. What about you?” Tobyn was poised on the other side of the bed with the fresh cup.

“I’m ready to get back to it. I feel good too.” He took Logan’s chin in hand, prying his mouth open easily. “Go slow.”

It was the middle of the night, and Kellar’s muscles were screaming, but his energy still flowed smoothly and potently, thanks to Tobyn’s constant assistance. Tobyn had fallen asleep about an hour earlier, but still kept his hand under Kellar’s. He found he was capable of drawing energy from his mate only when he needed it, and in small enough amounts that Tobyn would recharge quickly. It was astonishing how much stronger they had become since healing Adelin. Eating was out of the question for him, but he had managed to convince his mate to join the pack in the dining room for a quick bite, and update them. Tobyn needed to keep his strength up for both of them, and when Kellar made that point, Tobyn had relented.

The sun broke, sending a shaft of light into the room, and Kellar opened his eyes, blinking at the brightness. A smiling Tobyn was staring at him from the other side of a deeply-breathing Logan. “What do you think, doc?” he asked softly. “You weren’t sleeping, were you?”

“No… concentrating. It’s gone. It’s been gone for about an hour. You were sleeping.”

“Yeah, and I had a really weird dream. Anyway, I figured you were getting close. Why didn’t you wake me? Why are we still here, and what happened to Clarence?”

“Clarence is in his office. I didn’t wake you because you looked so peaceful. I’m trying something different, babe. I can see what I think are brain signals. Little flashes of color. Some are paler than others, so I’ve been sending little jolts to them. They’re brighter now.”

“Wow. So your healing has changed even more than we thought?”

“Looks like. But I’m nervous as hell. I’m just going on instinct, following the flashes like I’m on auto pilot. It’s amazing, like I’m right inside Logan’s brain. I’m not a doctor, but I understand the code of ‘do no harm.’ I don’t think I am, but I’m not positive. It’s so new to me, but if I hadn’t continued, it wouldn’t have felt done.”

“Does it feel done now?”

“It does. Oh, yeah, sorry. You can pull your hand away. My gut tells me the signals are going where they’re supposed to, and the colors are vibrant. I’m not sure exactly what those flashes are, but I know there’s nothing more I can do.” Kellar was startled by a noise at the open doorway. It was Clarence. “Good morning. Did you get any sleep?”

“An hour maybe. I heard what you said. I appreciate all you’ve done for Logan. Those flashes? Could they be what made him act the way he did?”

Kellar drew in a deep breath. His whole body ached and he wanted more than anything to close his eyes again, and curl up with his mate somewhere. But before he did that, Clarence deserved his best answer. “Keep in mind I’m seeing something new to me, but I think they’re indicative of the damage his brain has suffered from the pressure. Interrupted or misfiring signals maybe. If I’m correct, those flashes are now strong enough to go where they’re supposed to, and just maybe, strong enough to heal and regenerate. The colors around where the tumor used to be… well, they’re different now. They’ve been evolving… changing… throughout the night. I think that means they are regaining whatever they lost, but, Clarence, that’s only a guess. My best guess.”

“That’s good enough for me,” Clarence said with a weary smile. “You must be exhausted.”

“I am.” He carefully pulled his hand out from under Logan’s head. “Like you’ve already heard, there’s nothing more to be done. We’ll have to wait for him to wake up. Any chance we could have a cot brought in here for me and Tobyn to catch a nap on?”

“We can do better than that. We have a house all prepared for you… hot running water and a stocked fridge.”

Kellar sent a questioning look to Tobyn, who, understanding him perfectly, nodded. “That sounds great, but I can’t leave Logan until I know he’s okay. I may need to use some healing energy to calm him.”

“Oh.” Clarence frowned. “Do you think…?”

“I don’t expect it, but I want to be prepared. Do you understand?” Kellar asked with sympathy.

“Yes. Yes, I do. You’re more of a doctor than you admit to, young man.”

Tobyn snickered. “He has you pegged, mountain man.”

Ten minutes later, they were curled up on a too-small cot, but neither was complaining. Kellar listened to Logan’s breathing, and his mate’s heartbeat. The wooden blinds had been closed most of the way, and, held tight by Tobyn, he was drifting off… contented for the moment with how the healing had gone.

“Kellar?”

“Uh huh?”

“What color were those flashes?”

“Huh? Oh. Blue. Like blue fire. Why?”

“My weird dream? It was filled with little flashes of blue lightning. I think I was seeing the same thing you were.”

“Wow. It just shows how connected we’ve become. I love you, my mate.” Kellar sent with a sleepy smile.

“Love you too, doc.”