Translation Trashbin - 1. Auf Flügeln des Gesanges

Oh AC, this felt so very Merchant and Ivory to me. It's lovely and well you have the necessary talent, insight... soul ... to translate poems like this. They are more than mere words .. you need to see it and feel it. And you have done that here in spades. Truly wonderful!

tim is so right. You possess all the necessary skill to translate this poem into a truly wonderful piece. Even if you did stray I’d say mission accomplished. It is beautiful.. 

This is beautiful and soulful AC. While you strayed, it did not distract from intent and meaning.

This is beautiful, and you convey both the poet’s spirit perfectly and fit the music deftly, seamlessly. 

You continue to amaze me with such feats of translation. Awesome. 

A very skilful translation, which reflects the feelings and images evoked by the original text!

This first trashbin (a term that doesn’t do justice to its content; I would rather call it recycle bin) contribution pushes all my buttons (the positive ones that is).

The Mendelssohn tune I became familiar with long before I could understand the language it was sung in. Later in life the song became part of the repertoire of my long deceased father.

The languages (German and English) are both second languages to me, so I am privileged to enjoy both the original poem and your excellent “translation”.

The quotation marks are not meant to demean your effort, on the contrary. They are meant to accentuate the enormous hurdles that have to be taken when you decide to undertake a task like you set yourself.

The first task is to make a more or less accurate literal translation of the original poem. But is that at all possible? I do that with some of your own poems sometimes, when the deeper meaning is not immediately clear to me. In doing so, you discover that a more or less literal translation is not just substituting the words of the one language for the words of another one. While translating you are  interpreting at the same time.

This is demonstrated by the fact that several different translations in English of the Heine poem can be found when you take a bit of time to look for them on the net.

The second task is while conserving the same rhyme-scheme as the original and keeping the same flow in the lines, to stay close to the meaning while preserving the mood of the original.  

You succeeded doing both, without it becoming smelly in the way Salieri meant.

A very difficult task with an admirable result. As so often: chapeau, Al.

On 10/20/2017 at 12:37 PM, Mikiesboy said:

Oh AC, this felt so very Merchant and Ivory to me. It's lovely and well you have the necessary talent, insight... soul ... to translate poems like this. They are more than mere words .. you need to see it and feel it. And you have done that here in spades. Truly wonderful!

Thanks, Tim. I can definitely see this version slipped into one of that Gay couple's amazing films. You bring a large smile to my face; thank you so much for that. 

On 10/20/2017 at 3:33 PM, Defiance19 said:

tim is so right. You possess all the necessary skill to translate this poem into a truly wonderful piece. Even if you did stray I’d say mission accomplished. It is beautiful.. 

 

Thank you, Def! I've known this song since buying the Mera album in the first video I included. His amazing singing took me away to the stream of the Ganges with him. 

Thanks again

On 10/23/2017 at 10:34 AM, BlindAmbition said:

This is beautiful and soulful AC. While you strayed, it did not distract from intent and meaning.

Thank you!!! Soulful is such a great compliment. I feel there is much Romanticism in the original, but I still wanted to stay away from mawkishness in a singable English version. To go too sentimental I think would be a disservice to poet and composer both. 

Thanks again  

On 10/23/2017 at 2:47 PM, Parker Owens said:

This is beautiful, and you convey both the poet’s spirit perfectly and fit the music deftly, seamlessly. 

 

You continue to amaze me with such feats of translation. Awesome. 

Thank you, Parker!! Spirit is certainly what I was going for, even though I amazingly ignored the poet's opening line. I did it however to save his amazing connection between dreams and the River Ganges. It was a challenge. 

Thanks again  

On 10/23/2017 at 2:59 PM, Freerider said:

A very skilful translation, which reflects the feelings and images evoked by the original text!

Thank you, Freerider!! This was a challenge, but also fun and rewarding. Thank you for your comments and support

On 10/24/2017 at 11:34 AM, J.HunterDunn said:

This first trashbin (a term that doesn’t do justice to its content; I would rather call it recycle bin) contribution pushes all my buttons (the positive ones that is).

The Mendelssohn tune I became familiar with long before I could understand the language it was sung in. Later in life the song became part of the repertoire of my long deceased father.

The languages (German and English) are both second languages to me, so I am privileged to enjoy both the original poem and your excellent “translation”.

The quotation marks are not meant to demean your effort, on the contrary. They are meant to accentuate the enormous hurdles that have to be taken when you decide to undertake a task like you set yourself.

The first task is to make a more or less accurate literal translation of the original poem. But is that at all possible? I do that with some of your own poems sometimes, when the deeper meaning is not immediately clear to me. In doing so, you discover that a more or less literal translation is not just substituting the words of the one language for the words of another one. While translating you are  interpreting at the same time.

This is demonstrated by the fact that several different translations in English of the Heine poem can be found when you take a bit of time to look for them on the net.

The second task is while conserving the same rhyme-scheme as the original and keeping the same flow in the lines, to stay close to the meaning while preserving the mood of the original.  

You succeeded doing both, without it becoming smelly in the way Salieri meant.

A very difficult task with an admirable result. As so often: chapeau, Al.

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you, Peter! Yes, the thing that inspired me to try and do a performance translation is Heine's Flügeln des Gesanges/Fluren des Ganges. It's the sort of poetic principle I myself might build a poem on. I recognized it immediately, and although not 'translatable,' the spirit and poetic gravity is there to try and recreate. I hope I have done so to a certain extent.

As always, thanks for your amazing comments. ❤️