Aria Graice - 50. Chapter 50

Drew walked slowly along the cliff path, his fingers laced with Amara’s. Despite it being early December, the weather was mild, and the bright blue sky was clear of clouds. Far below, the sea twinkled turquoise with dark patches where the reef was almost visible through remarkably clear water.

Somewhere down there, Aria was playing in the sea with Jay and Ceriann. He wondered how cold the water was. He had no illusions, given the time of year, that no matter how blue the sky was, the water was not going to be that same temperature as it would have been in summer and certainly nothing close to the heated pool at the villa.

“I bet they’re freezing down there,” Amara said, a wistful tone to his voice.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“The water in Greece is always cooler than the air. It’s fabulous when you get hot and sweaty then go in the cold water, but we’ve never been here in December before. I have a feeling it’s going to be a lot colder than they thought it would be.”

“I think you’re right. I don’t think they’ll be in there long.”

Amara chuckled. “You might be surprised. Aria may well stay in just because he doesn’t want the water to beat him. You know how stubborn he can be sometimes.”

Drew snorted. “I’ve noticed.”

Amara leaned his head on Drew’s shoulder as they continued to walk. “It gets him into trouble sometimes. Mostly with himself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like this morning. It was his idea to wake you like that, and he wouldn’t listen to me.”

Drew tensed. Had he unknowingly hurt Aria?

“Oh, he was okay. More than okay. But even if he hadn’t been, he wouldn’t have stopped, wouldn’t have run away.”

Drew stopped and turned Amara to face him. “He knows, right? He knows that if he changes his mind it wouldn’t be running away? The last thing I would ever want is to hurt him and if he feels overwhelmed at any time, at any point, I wouldn’t try to make him stay. I wouldn’t think less of him, or get angry, or stop loving him. I know the crap that goes on inside his head sometimes.”

“I think he knows it, but I’m not sure he feels it. He’s crazy in love with you, Drew and you know that doesn’t last. At some point it settles into forever and that’s when you start living your truth. If you’ve stretched yourself too thin, got in too deep with things you’re not really comfortable with, that’s when regrets start, and bitterness. I…don’t know what I’d do if something like that happened between you and Aria because I couldn’t stop loving you, but I’d have to be true to Aria first, I think.”

Drew smiled. “Sometimes it lasts,” he said, his voice coming out rough and husky. “With you, I’m sure it will last. As for getting in too deep…I can’t say it enough, I would never hurt Aria. I don’t expect anything of him. Every kiss is a gift and if that’s all I ever get, it’s enough. I was shocked this morning. I never expected even that much from him. I know it was pushing the limits and I’m happy with him stepping back. All I want is to have you, both of you, in my life. I don’t care about the rest. You set the boundaries and I’ll abide by them and be happy with it.”

Amara paused for a moment, then he ducked his head and gazed up at Drew through hair and lowered lashes. “What if I don’t have any boundaries?”

“Oh, I’m sure you have, and we’re going to have a heck of a time finding them.”

Amara barked out a laugh that seemed too big for his small frame. “I’m sure you’re right.” He wound his arms around Drew’s neck, wincing slightly at the pull, and kissed him hard.

Someone passed them on the path, tutting and mumbling under their breath about “young people” and “no manners, and no decency”, but they were far too busy to worry about them.”

They continued on into the perfect afternoon, until Amara was tired, and they returned to the jeep.

When they got back to the villa everyone else was already there. Aria, Jay and Ceriann were in the pool.

“How did you enjoy the sea?” Amara called, as he settled himself in one of the sun loungers. “You weren’t in there long.”

“About thirty seconds,” Ceriann called back.

Jay swam over and rested their forearms on the side of the pool. “Ceriann ran in and then straight back out again. I managed to submerge, realized no, it wasn’t going to feel warmer once I got all the way in, and legged it back out while Aria waited until his lips turned blue and he’d managed to swim a bit. Who knew the sea could be so cold in December?” They shook their head and grinned. “I was looking out for icebergs and polar bears while Aria was totes doing a Jack Dawson and if he hadn’t come out when he did, I would have sent Jeff on a rescue mission, because there was no way I was going back in there.”

“I don’t know what makes you think I would have,” Jeff said calmly, sipping what looked like cocktail although Drew knew it would undoubtedly have been non alcoholic.

“Because it’s your job to save people.”

“I could have waited until he floated out and given him CPR.”

“He’d have been dead by then.”

Jeff shrugged. “You win some, you lose some.”

Aria, who no one had noticed swimming up behind Jay, scooped out some water and threw it over Jeff, who yelped and swore at him.

“You’re lucky no one believes your bullshit.”

“I’ll give you bullshit, you little monster. Next time you nearly drown I won’t even contemplate CPR. I’ll be on the shore with a long stick pushing you back in.”

“I know you love me really.” He splashed Jeff again and swam away, laughing.

“Little monster,” Jeff called. “I’ll get you back for that.” He shook his head and grinned at Drew. “Kids.”

That evening it began to rain. At first, it was just a gentle mist, but during the night it picked up speed and when they woke the next morning a steady downpour was hissing against the roof in the sunroom. Despite the rain, it was still warm so they sat eating breakfast with one of the doors open, allowing the sweet, ozone scent of the rain into the room.

“We’re not still going out today, are we?” Jay asked as they reached for more of the thick strawberry jam for their toast.”

“Of course. We won’t melt, Jay.”

Ceriann snorted. “Back home, if we let rain keep us inside, we’d never leave the house,” she joked.

Drew chuckled. It was true. The Welsh valleys were one of the wettest places in the country. While that was great for the vegetation it wasn’t so good for planning any kind of trip or event.

“Will the ferry still be running?” Aria asked around a mouthful of toast as thick as a bible.

Drew caught himself and smiled. His mother had some odd sayings, some of them picked up from her own mother. He’d seen the old family bible, although it had gone to Sioned, being the oldest, and the toast was a long way from being as thick as that, although he couldn’t deny the slices were generous.

“Of course it will still be running. It will probably be bouncy though.” Amara waved his toast as he spoke and Jay caught his arm when it passed close, then took a bite out of the jammy bread. “Hey.” Amara jerked his hand away. “Eat your own toast.”

“Can’t. I’ve eaten it.”

“Then get some more.”

“But the bread is aaall the way over there, and the butter is aaall the way back there and the jam is miles away.” Jay pouted and batted their eyelashes at Amara, who laughed, almost choking on his toast.

“Stop being lazy.” Aria shook his head and sighed. “Sometimes, you’re like a spoiled child.” Jay froze and glared at him, and Aria managed to maintain his composure for a few seconds, then cracked up. “Oh, your face, your face,” he moaned laughing uncontrollably.

“My face is fine,” Jay said loftily. “Yours is the one with hypocrite scrawled across it in sharpie.”

That only made Aria laugh even harder and it was so infectious it drew everyone else in.

The ferry was running and it was, as Amara had predicted, bouncy. They all got soaked from standing on the deck, watching the rain pelting the sea and looking out for dolphins. The boys were ridiculously disappointed on not seeing any.

“Maybe dolphins don’t like rain. Maybe they like staying in their nice warm, dry villas instead of half drowning on a tin can death trap.”

“Jeff, you are silly,” Aria said. “Of course dolphins like rain. They live in the sea, don’t they? They’re always wet.”

“Actually, dolphins don’t like rain. I’ve never seen one swim in a storm like this.”

“Oh.” Aria turned to the pretty woman who leaned over the rail nearby, watching the waves in a similar way to the boys. “Do you know a lot about dolphins? We’re only just learning. Do you live here?”

“My family do, but I went to university in England, and I live there now. I’m just visiting.”

“Why would you want to live in England when you could live here?” Aria swept his hand around the beautiful scenery, somewhat obscured by the rain.

“I lived here most of my life and there’s not much more than scenery here. I didn’t want to work in the family business and there’s not much else. Bristol is a beautiful city and there’s so much more going on. And history. The UK is full of fascinating history.”

“Well yes, but what about the history here? The ancient Greek civilisation is just as fascinating.”

“Maybe to you.”

“Fair point.”

“We don’t have castles; not like you have.”

“Another fair point.”

“Where do you live when you are home?” Jay asked. She gazed at them curiously.

“The café on the square. It’s my parents’ business. My sisters work there. You’ve probably seen them.”

“We spent most of the day there yesterday,” Amara said.

“I know. My sisters told me, in great detail, about the angels who are staying in Villa Britannia. I didn’t believe her…until now.”

Amara snorted. “We’re not angels. Far from it. But thank them anyway. It’s always nice to be appreciated. I’m Amara, by the way.” He proceeded to introduce everyone to the girl, whose name was Anna.

“If you used to live here, do you know all the cool places to go,” Aria asked excitedly. “I mean the secret groves and beaches where no one else goes? Do you know good places to shop? What about restaurants and clubs and things? No, maybe not clubs. Amara’s not well, you know. He was shot. It’s okay, he’s fine now but he has to recover, so no proper dancing for a while. Oh, and do you know about history? Alejandro said that one of the sailors from the Argo is buried on the island. Is that true? Or is it all just a story?”

He gazed expectantly at Anna, who blinked.

“Um. Yes? To some of it.”

Drew shook his head and took pity on Anna. “Don’t worry, you get used to it eventually. Aria can get a little carried away when he’s excited.”

“I do not. Well, okay, maybe a little. Sorry. Was I speaking too fast again?”

“A little.” Anna gave him a warm smile. “I have plans this afternoon, but I can show you around some cool places tomorrow.”

“That would be great. Shall we meet you in the café at about nine o-clock?”

“That sounds good.” Anna gave them all a warm smile and shortly afterward, they parted company when the ferry docked.

“Don’t worry,” Aria said as they walked toward the town. “I’m not throwing myself at strangers again. We can check her out when we get back. I’ll ask Georges. He probably knows her, and if not we can google her. I’m sure we can find some stuff. Enough to satisfy you she’s safe before we go anywhere with her.”

“You’re not supposed to go off with anyone until they’ve been properly vetted,” Jeff said sternly. “If we can’t find enough information on this girl, you’re not going and that’s a flat fact.”

Aria pouted for a moment then shrugged. “Okay.”

As it turned out, it wasn’t difficult to find information on Anna. Jeff made a phone call while they were shopping and had a whole digital file by the time they got back. Added to that, Georges knew the family, and Anna, well and was happy to vouch for them. With his concern assuaged, Jeff agreed to the excursion.

The following day dawned bright and clear, and when they met Anna in the café, it was already hot. True to her word, Anna took them to a secluded, white sand beach that looked as though no one had ever set foot there before. Although the water was cool it was bearable and she Aria, Jay and Ceriann swimming among the reef.

Later, they visited a beautifully kept local history museum, and would have ended the day at a nightclub if the boys hadn’t been so exhausted.

The following days fell easily into the same pattern, with various day trips, ranging wider afield to other islands and historical site, and a few evenings out at bars and nightclubs, which Amara swore off after the first time.

A week after they met her, and the night before she was due to leave to go back to England, they threw a goodbye party for Anna and her family at their favourite taverna on the mainland. It was a beautiful night, with a clear sky and a breeze blowing in from the sea. Drew had thoroughly enjoyed himself and was slightly tipsy, feeling calm and happier than he had for years. Apart from a few little hiccups and insecurities, his relationship with the twins seemed to be falling into a comfortable routine. Although he was not naïve enough to think they’d ironed out all the details after a week in paradise, he was more hopeful than he had been before.

He wandered out into the taverna’s garden, which was open onto the beach. Leaning on the rail, gazing out over the sea and sipping fine wine. He was content.

“What are you doing out here on your own?”

Drew turned and smiled as Amara drifted over and tucked himself in to Drew’s side. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

“It certainly is. Are you having a good time?”

“Oh yes.” He sighed. “I wish it would never end.”

“It has to end sometime. We all have lives to go back to.”

Amara sighed again. “I know.”

Something was off. Everything about Amara broadcast it. Drew hugged him closer. “What’s up?”

“Nothing. Well… I know this is just a break, a holiday. It’s not real. You’re right, we have lives to go back to, but what will happen then?” He paused, but Drew knew better than to interrupt him. “I’ll be on tour, Aria will be busy with his fashion and I probably won’t see either of you for months at a time. Jay’s had a lot of new interest in their business and is going to be busy as hell, so I’ll be lucky to see them a handful of times all year.”

Drew’s heart fell. This was something he’d known was coming but he’d put off thinking about it until it happened. It had been wonderful having his two boys with him, but he’d always known that couldn’t last. Soon, there would be just the two of them and while he loved Aria with all his heart and soul, it just wouldn’t be the same, and it had nothing to do with sex. Okay, it had a little bit to do with that, but he could manage fine without.

It was the separation he was dreading, the not waking up every morning with Amara in his arms, not hearing his voice, not smelling his unique scent, not seeing his face. Alright, he had Aria, but the more he spent time with the twins, the less alike they became to him. He couldn’t imagine how Aria could bear to be without Amara for so long at a time. Almost losing him had caused a rift in Drew’s soul that had mended to form an indestructible bond and a closeness he’d never thought to find with anyone. Aria fed his soul, but Amara was his soul. The two of them were so much a part of him he couldn’t imagine life without either. Being parted from Amara for even a day was difficult, to not see him for months was unthinkable. And yet, to think about going with him and leaving Aria alone was equally unthinkable. While Amara would struggle with the separation, Aria would be broken by it.

“I’m tired,” Amara whispered. “It’s not just the injury, its…” He sighed deeply. “It’s on the inside. Deep down in my bones. Sometimes it feels like there’s a vortex under me that’s trying to suck me down, dragging my soul out.”

Drew was alarmed. “I didn’t know you were feeling ill. You should have told me.”

“It’s not that. I’m not feeling ill as suck, but I haven’t been myself since…what happened. It’s getting better, but there’s part of me that isn’t. It’s just getting worse and worse. It’s as if there’s a shadow over me and no matter what I do I can’t get away from it. I don’t want to leave you, Drew. I don’t know what will happen if I do.”

Drew began to understand what Amara was talking about.

“Have you spoken to your therapist about this?”

Amara chuckled. “I knew you’d understand. No. I don’t…I can’t even put it into words. I can’t…catch the thoughts.”

“That’s their job.”

“I know, but…” He heaved another deep sigh. “I will. When we get back. I want a new one, though. I want someone who understands what it feels like. Maybe someone who works with people like you.”

Drew was about to ask what Amara meant by people like him but understanding came first. “You think it had something to do with the shooting?”

“It has everything to do with it. It’s not just that I was shot. It’s the whole thing with my mother, and almost dying and… It was so confusing, Drew, so…dark. I can’t shake it. I feel like…like… It’s almost like death was a shadow and it nearly overwhelmed me. I got away but… I feel it lurking in the corners, waiting, and I can’t get away from it. I know it’s all in my mind but it’s making me… I’m scared of everything, most of all being alone. I only feel safe when you are there and to not have you close…” He shuddered deeply. “I think I’m going insane,” he whispered.

“No, you’re not. You’re having a perfectly understandable reaction to horrific events in your life. I think you’re right that you need to talk to someone who’s specialised in that kind of thing and when we get home, I’ll find someone.”

Amara tilted back his head to gaze up at Drew. “Do you think they can fix me?”

Drew smiled. “No, I don’t they can fix because I don’t think you’re broken. You just need help to process some terrible things that happened to you. Aria’s already seeing someone, you know.”

“Aria’s different.” He sighed. “Aria’s so very different. He can talk. No matter how bad things are, he can talk, but with me the words just seem to…get stuck. Sometimes they’re not even in my head in the first place. You’d think it was the other way around. I’m the songwriter, but I can find words when they’re important.”

“Your songs are important. They’re important to a lot of people. There are millions of people out there who hold them close. For some, they’re the only things they have to cling to.”

“I know, and that’s why I don’t want to give up, but I can’t go on tour, Drew. I just can’t. I can’t give up what we have here, not yet, not until I’ve sorted my head out.”

“Have you spoken to Alexi about this?”

“Yeah. He’s been great. He’s going to make all the arrangements. He doesn’t think there’ll be a problem with cancelling this tour. I’ve already missed half of it. There were other things scheduled over Christmas, but he’d already warned people they might not be happening. We’ll lose some money but it’s not as if I need it. There’s more than enough to cover wages, bonuses and stuff so I’m not worried.

“After Christmas, I’m going to start working on a new album. We’ve been talking about it for a while, and it was on our list to think about next year. I’m going to bring it forward so I can start working on it right away. It’ll take at least six to eight months, so he’s not scheduling any major tours until next year. I’ll have to do appearances and interviews to keep the fans up to date, and probably some short tours for promotion. A few days, and only in the UK. Most of the work will be done in London. I won’t have to leave you and Aria for most of the year.”

A fierce joy squeezed Drew’s heart, but he forced it back. He had to think of Amara, and not of himself.

“Are you sure about this? You’re not doing it for us?”

Amara snorted. “Haven’t you heard, I’m a spoiled, selfish brat. I only ever think of myself, so why should I start thinking of anyone else right now?”

“Because you were never a spoiled, selfish brat. You don’t have to worry about Aria, you know. I’m here now. I’ll take care of him.”

“I know, but who will take care of me.” There was something so raw and so vulnerable in his tone, almost desperate, that took Drew’s breath and made his eyes burn.

“I’ll always be there for you, no matter where you are. You’ll never be alone again. At the most I’ll be on the end of a telephone.”

“I know, but it’s not the same.”

Drew turned and wrapped both his arms around Amara. “I know.”

When Amara kissed him, Drew tasted salt and hugged Amara even tighter.

We're almost at the end guys. Only two chapters after this one
 
Do not fear. I am working on another one which will be ready soon-ish. Much sooner than last time