You'd Have to Ask - 1. Chapter 1

Cole Wheeler Chapter One

The clock went off at 08:00 AM. Cole, awaking with a start reached over and hit the snooze button. He started to drift off back to sleep. “Damn why did I go out drinking last night?” He asks himself.

Cole forces himself out of bed. Clad in boxers he stumbles to the bathroom. He stands in front of the toilet to take a piss, but his hard-on won’t go down. Cole turns to the sink grabbing a toothbrush he puts some toothpaste on it. He proceeds to brush his teeth, he is pressed against the counter, which does nothing to calm down his dick, but it feels good.

He looks at himself in the mirror. He considers himself average looking although people tell him he is good looking. He has blond hair, which doesn’t appear to show any sign of thinning or greying. He is starting to get wrinkles at the corners of his blue eyes. He has a strong jaw and even teeth. Cole doesn’t have a moustache like a lot of officers.

He is proud of his body though. He has managed to keep it in shape. He is muscular but not overly so. In the few fights he has had he has managed to hold his own and he has no problems standing up to bad guys. “Have to start working on the gut”, he says as he slaps a hand hard against his stomach.

When Cole is finished brushing he turns to the toilet and this time he is able to relieve himself.

Back in the bedroom, he strips, and gets his running clothes from a chair in the corner. Getting dressed he heads downstairs to the kitchen. Opening the fridge he gets some Gatorade. This ought to help with my headache, as he gulps it down.

Cole grabs his keys and heads to his pick up. He drives into to a park where there are a lot of other runners and bike riders. Cole heads over to a bathroom and fills his water bottle.

Cole does some easy stretches and then is off running. He knows that the first mile is the toughest. It is a fight until you to get passed that and he has this fight every time he runs.

At an easy pace Cole is running on the bike path. He waves at the runners coming towards him and forces a smile. After a mile and a half his body has given up fighting the run and he picks up the pace.

Cole runs for stress relief and to keep fit, in that order.

If a psychiatrist were to look at the thoughts a runner has while running he would think the person was certifiable. Cole mind fires up one problem after another. The constant pace helping him to resolve it or deem it not important.

One problem has surfaced though, that no amount of running is going to cure. Cole is a Gay Cop. This is something he has just learned, no not just learned, more like realizing that it is not a phase.

Cole loves being a Cop; he joined nine years ago when he was 21. Being a Cop is everything to Cole, he lives eats and breathes the job.

Until recently, Cole was in denial about his feelings towards men. He used to rationalize that he wanted to be just like so and so. He would visualize being that guy and having his life. His wife, his family, the works and he figured this would make him happy.

But alas, an event not too long ago made him realize that that would not be the path he would take. Cole met someone in a bar and wound up going home with him. This was not the first time he had done stuff with a guy, but this time was different. All the other times the guy would satisfy Cole and he would be off. This time Cole took a more active role and he liked it! This did not sit to well with him as it flew in the face of everything he believed in.

Cole is an All American guy, he was the quarterback on the football team in both High School and College and he was popular in school and he always had great looking girlfriends.

The sun beating down on him made him hot and as Cole is wane to do he slowed a bit and took off his shirt. Sweat glistened on his body. He sped up again, picking up the pace as the cool breeze caressed his body.

Up in front of him, Cole sees another guy running. He recognizes him. It is Mark, another Cop. Mark and him grew up together; in fact they have almost been in separable. They went to the same High School and College and played ball together. It was at a party in their senior year, when they were talking about what they were going to do after school, that Mark said he was going to be a Cop.

Cole had never really given any thought to what he wanted to do after school. He had a list, football player, astronaut, jet pilot or fireman. Cop had never made his list. Somehow though when Mark said that, Cole realized that he could see himself as a cop.

Cole sped up so that he could talk to his friend.

“Hey ” Cole said, “How is it going?”

Mark turned and looked at his buddy. “Not bad, see you have your shirt off, hitting on girls again?”

“Who me?” Cole feigns innocence.

“Actually, I was just about to do the same, it’s a warm one” Mark slows a bit and takes his shirt off.

Cole looks at Mark like it is the first time he has ever seen the guy. He sees that his buddy has kept himself in shape, great arms and shoulders. He notices that his buddy is getting a gut too.

“What?” Mark asks giving Cole a puzzled look, “You are starting to get one too!” Mark says as he points at Cole’s stomach.

Cole sucks his stomach in and both men start laughing.

They run together at a faster pace than either of them would have done if they were running alone. They talk about job stuff, nothing important just bouncing their decisions off the other guy.

“How’s the family doing?”

“Great, actually Mary was asking about you the other day” Mark says “She wants to know when she can feed you again”.

“Well I’ll have to check my calendar, but maybe tonight” Cole says with a big smile.

“Great come on over around supper time, the kids would be happy to see you too.”

Mark met Mary in College, end of story. Well not really, they started dating then married after Mark became a cop. Mark loves his wife and his family. Cole has never seen the man so happy.

Cole’s mind goes back to the problem he was working on earlier. Running alone may help with this.

“Well Mark, I have a busy day ahead of me” Cole says, “I have run two and half out, may as well make it an even five, so I am going to head back, catch you later”

“Sure Cole, you want me to run back with you?” Mark asks.

“Nah, I still have some things to work out,” Cole says. Mark knows what Cole’s main reason for running is, so no explanation is needed.

“Well I’ll see you about 18:00 then” Mark says.

“Not if I see you first!” Cole grins and then he turns around and heads back to the truck.

Cole starts to think about the reaction to his gayness by his family and friends. He is terrified of telling them. He is not even sure he accepts it yet.

Cole’s imagination goes wild while he runs. His thoughts run from everything to acceptance to complete rejection. “I may need some help before I spring it on them.” Cole says to himself. He only knows one openly Gay person, Lance. Lance has been out since he was about 14. “Maybe I should ask him about this.”

Lance is a fireman who had a hell of a time getting on with the department. The fire department was notorious in its hiring practices and gay men were completely excluded from joining. Lance had applied and was rejected as one of the recruiting officers found about Lance’s sexuality. Lance did not take this lying down so he hired a lawyer. This surprised the department, as not too many recruits appeal their decision, anyway the case went to court and the department lost.

Cole met Lance when he was doing tours of High School in the area. It was part of a community initiative to show that the Police Service is accessible. Lance cornered Cole when the presentation was over. Lance had a pile of questions about gay bashing. Cole did not dismiss him and went back to the Community Liaison to discuss the issues. Cole made arrangements to have Lance and some other gay students meet with the Community Officer.

Cole thinks this is the best course of action. Lance will at least be able to tell him what it is going to be like in the near future.

Thinking about Lance and his job though reminded Cole that family and friends aren’t the big problem here, being a Gay Police Officer is.

Cole pulled off the path and panted. He didn’t know what was happening but his heart started racing. He gulped some water down and this seemed to help.

Looking around he can see there is no one nearby, “Fuck!” He screams, “What am I going to do, I don’t want this!”

Cole stops and measures his heart rate and it slowly comes down after five minutes. He feels his strength come back and he starts to run slow at first, then faster. When he finally reaches the truck he is exhausted.

Cole opens the truck and sits down. He feels waves going through his head. Runner’s High, Cole goes with it. He puts a CD he made especially for this. Pretty soon he hears Van Morrison singing about a garden. The music matches the waves in his head.

Cole comes out of his reverie after about forty-five minutes. He starts the truck and heads over to the gym.

Cole gets to the gym swipes his card and heads over to the benches. He goes through his usual routine of various crunches, push-ups and chin-ups. When all of these are finished he heads to the weights. Cole is very proud of the shape he keeps himself in and he works hard to maintain it.

He usually does weights one day and aerobic stuff on the next. Today however, he feels he needs to do both.

An hour and a half later Cole is finished. He heads to the locker room. Cole has a permanent locker there, where he keeps shampoo and a change of clothes.

Stripping down, Cole admires himself in a mirror. He grabs a towel and soap and heads off to the showers. There is a steam room there, he sees through the door that it must have been fired up recently. He heads into the steam room and finds a place to sit.

He stays in there for ten minutes and then goes to have a shower. He notices that one guy follows him out of the steam room. The guy starts to have a shower right next to him. He takes discreet glances at the guy and notices the guy checking him out too.

Cole doesn’t do anything nor does he know what to do. So he just finishes up his shower and heads back to get dressed. The other man stayed where he was or went back in the steam room, Cole didn’t care.

He slips on his 501’s, a t-shirt and sandals. Cole checks himself in the mirror. “Time to see Kat about a hair cut I guess” He says to no one. He packs his gym clothes in a plastic bag he has in the locker and goes to the truck. As he gets in the truck it occurs to him he should go into Red Deer and buy a book on the subject. He knows they may have one in the bookstore in town, but he is too well known.