You'd Have to Ask - 19. Chapter 19

On the Road

Cole thinks about his day so far as he drives to Edmonton. He relives the talk with his Dad wondering if he did the right thing. He decides that it was right, no sense delaying the inevitable even with as hard as it was.

Most of Cole’s life has been without this type of stress. Being a cop exposes a guy to many different situations. But he has learned to isolate it, like it is like in a box removed from him. Sure some of the situations have caused reactions in him. He remembers an accident where he was the first officer on the scene. It was in his second year, a Mini Van had rolled and the family was killed. Cole remembers it was the first time he saw dead children, He puked and was pretty upset for weeks afterwards. His fellow officers
helped him through it. He managed to bury it in the back of his psyche only to have it rear its head at every accident.

He guesses he stored the whole gay side of his persona in a box too. “What opened the box?” He asks himself. The signs must have been there, his reluctance to commit to a relationship with a woman. It didn’t matter whom it was and how much he wanted to fall in love, to make the effort. It just wasn’t there. It didn’t help that there was always an available supply. The guys at the station were jealous of him; he always seemed to have a hot looking woman on the go.

When the last girl told him she was going to Calgary, he wasn’t even fazed, as the relationship had run its course. He could have tried to get a transfer to the Police Service there and in fact she said she had friends that could make it happen. But he just let it die.

His thoughts turn to Kelly and he is not sure how long his private life can stand up to her prying. She is going to hear about the endless parade of women. She’ll probably take it as a challenge. “Well Kelly, the challenge is bigger than you think.”

Finally his thoughts turn to Kat. He smiles, “Boy did I luck out when I met her.” He thinks about their relationship. “People will think we are fucked!” We have sex but it is with no strings attached. In the book he read about men having ‘fuck-buddy’ relationships. This is the same thing, but with a twist. Cole wonders how a guy may react to this situation.

This final thought brings up something he had never even thought of. “What happens if I meet a guy and we hit it off?” He pauses and waits for the thoughts to percolate, “Should have asked Lance about it.”

Driving past Ikea Cole finds that he can’t think anymore, as there is too much traffic. “Boy, the city planners had a brain fart when they allowed this!”

He gets to the hotel half an hour later. He gets to his room and changes into shorts and a t-shirt. Cole heads to the hot tub to relax.