[Shadowgod] Dreams & Clipped Wings Ch 2: Eating Crow

[C James]

Dreams and Clipped Wings Ch2: Eating Crow is up, and all I'll say is that I'm coughing up feathers!!

 

Great chapter, and I'll be back with more comments later; I just wanted to kick off the discussion thread.

[wildone]

Great Chapter Steve ,

 

First off the references at the beginning had me ROFL'ing. It kinda snuck up on me, until I finally realized what the dark ominous creature was . I am confused though that Saul would defend this creatures mantra though. Then, with the magazine reference at the end was even more funny. Great job!!!

 

Now for the middle of the chapter. One thing kinda popped out at me in this chapter and it had to do with the description of Julie. It seems that both Jonathan and Julie have been described as being average. I don't know if this is a reflection on that both Cody and Joe have the same preferences in people but it just kinda stuck out to me as being different. And I take it that Jonathan is now out of the picture.

 

Thank you for clearing up some more of the relationship between Joe and Cody as well. From discussion of chapter one, I personally don't believe that their is a love interest between the two guys, but more of a strong friendship that is reinforced by their similar interests and likes.

 

As far as the new characters introduced in addition to Julie, I kinda instantly liked Saul. Even before he offered the money, I liked the way that he interacts with Cody and knows how much to ask and when to back off in his questioning. It seems like Saul is the adult figure in Cody's life that he might need now and going into the future. Not to reference LiS, but I kinda thought of Carlos while learning about Saul. Besides, if he shot a goat up in the mountains in Arizona, then he is my hero right away. The next one who is more intriguing is Damon. I'm kinda disappointed that you only gave us a bit of a tease as far as his character development. He does sound interesting, and I don't recall you saying anything about him being average, so maybe strike out the above comment. But most importantly is the word 'innocence' to describe him, and how it evoked some deep thought in Cody.

 

I really like the way this story is going and will wait for more. You have piqued my interest with the character development and interaction between the characters. It looks like it will be a great read.

 

Steve

[Graeme]

Thanks, Steve I liked this chapter. The start was fun, and I don't know what C James is talking about. There's nothing in there that mentions him that I can see. Unlike in his story, where he had a character called Blackheart (one of Shadowgod's previous pennames) who became brain damaged and started writing stories on the internet....

 

I'm not as convinced as Steve that Jonathan is out of the picture. I suspect he'll be back, just to complicate Cody's life. I'm also wondering what was in that letter at the end.

 

Cody still has dreams -- he's just good at suppressing them

[C James]

Great Chapter Steve ,

 

First off the references at the beginning had me ROFL'ing. It kinda snuck up on me, until I finally realized what the dark ominous creature was . I am confused though that Saul would defend this creatures mantra though. Then, with the magazine reference at the end was even more funny. Great job!!!

 

As far as the new characters introduced in addition to Julie, I kinda instantly liked Saul. Even before he offered the money, I liked the way that he interacts with Cody and knows how much to ask and when to back off in his questioning. It seems like Saul is the adult figure in Cody's life that he might need now and going into the future. Not to reference LiS, but I kinda thought of Carlos while learning about Saul. Besides, if he shot a goat up in the mountains in Arizona, then he is my hero right away. The next one who is more intriguing is Damon. I'm kinda disappointed that you only gave us a bit of a tease as far as his character development. He does sound interesting, and I don't recall you saying anything about him being average, so maybe strike out the above comment. But most importantly is the word 'innocence' to describe him, and how it evoked some deep thought in Cody.

 

Well, I thought Saul was Evil... I mean, shooting a Goat? That's evil!

 

I was intrigued by the interplay between Cody and Joe, and Joe's thoughts of Cody's eyes. Joe is a very alluring character to me, and he sure likes to sit around in just his boxers.

 

 

Cody's reaction to the innocence speaks volumes to me; I think he's scared of hurting someone like he hurt Jacob.

 

Thanks, Steve I liked this chapter. The start was fun, and I don't know what C James is talking about. There's nothing in there that mentions him that I can see. Unlike in his story, where he had a character called Blackheart (one of Shadowgod's previous pennames) who became brain damaged and started writing stories on the internet....

 

I'm not as convinced as Steve that Jonathan is out of the picture. I suspect he'll be back, just to complicate Cody's life. I'm also wondering what was in that letter at the end.

 

Cody still has dreams -- he's just good at suppressing them

 

But Graeme!! "Blackheart" was merely a.... coincidence!

 

As for the "Old Goat" in the story, I will opine that not many goats were sunglasses!

 

Also, Blackheart didn't die in that plunge from the cliff, but the goat in this story is dead!!!

 

And then we get to this particular passage;

Mr. Braunstein shrugged. "I didn't like the way it was looking at me, standing up on the cliffs bleating its supremacy" Saul halted his explanation, watching the memory of the animal falling off the cliff. "Arizona may not be Har-Megiddo, but I fought the devil there, and won."

 

The goat was on a CLIFF?!?!?! Braying its supremacy? ACk, now that's just EEEvil!!! And he refers to it as the devil!!! AAARRGGH!!!

 

I think you are right: Jonathon will be back, becuase we know Shadowgod likes to complicate his character's lives. (how mean to Cody!). I suspect that Cody has a long road to follow in order to dispel the demons that plague him.

 

I'm also intrigued by the letter. It's obvious that it is very significant, but we are left hanging as to what it contains. So yes, I am hereby declaring this a CLIFFHANGER!

[Graeme]

There was something else about this chapter that struck me -- thanks for reminding me, CJ.

 

Both Joe and Cody mention eyes as the strong, almost defining, point in others. Is this another link between them, or is it a variation on the idea that the eyes are the windows to the soul?

 

As for the goat -- there is no indication in the story that the goat was wearing sunglasses before it was mounted on the wall. Indeed, the implication is otherwise -- that Saul added the sunglasses at a later time.

[Benji]

There was something else about this chapter that struck me -- thanks for reminding me, CJ.

 

Both Joe and Cody mention eyes as the strong, almost defining, point in others. Is this another link between them, or is it a variation on the idea that the eyes are the windows to the soul?

 

As for the goat -- there is no indication in the story that the goat was wearing sunglasses before it was mounted on the wall. Indeed, the implication is otherwise -- that Saul added the sunglasses at a later time.

 

 

...........Probably just picked them up from the dusty desert at the bottom of the cliff, the tiara though was a nice touch . Great stuff Steve, can we count on inferences like this throughout story?? Of course CJ this wasn't about you at all!! Your still talking to us in spite of being mounted on the wall :wacko:

[viv]

And then we get to this particular passage;

 

Mr. Braunstein shrugged. "I didn't like the way it was looking at me, standing up on the cliffs bleating its supremacy" Saul halted his explanation, watching the memory of the animal falling off the cliff. "Arizona may not be Har-Megiddo, but I fought the devil there, and won."

 

 

The goat was on a CLIFF?!?!?! Braying its supremacy? ACk, now that's just EEEvil!!! And he refers to it as the devil!!! AAARRGGH!!!

 

:wacko: I cannot believe that you're worrying about that when there is a comma MISSING!!! AAARRGGH!!!! is right!

 

My apologies to the author!

[Conner]

I'm glad CJ read the chapter so quickly. Crow is best served warm!

 

Kudos, Steve! Your descriptive passages are just superb. I anticipate we'll all see the full range of human emotion in this story...you're so good at that.

 

I want more Damon.....NOW! I'm an innocent, too.

 

Conner

[Ieshwar]

Wow, I just read the two chap at one go and Steve, I must say You're great! Your descriptions brings life out of words. It directly strikes the reader. At least me!

 

Btw, was CJ mentioned? I saw a goat, a shy and retiring goat lurking up . But CJ is no lurker... But I saw the Rolling Stone wet star. Loved it.

 

Btw, I wanted to ask if the 'locker episode' is found in some other story. Or are we going to found more in other stories.

 

I think Joe and Cody are like friends/lovers rather than lovers. And I too noticed the eyes things. either this is something that indeed links them. Or perhaps, it's just part of Steve's descriptions.

 

GREAT!

 

Ieshwar

[BeaStKid]

CJ if you claim this is about you.... do you agree you're the queen of eevilest cliffhangers, then?? REad below...---->

Atop its head sat a tarnished silver tiara sporting rhinestones that had lost their sparkle.

 

 

Aww it's just a shy and retiring goat lurking up in the corner; leave him be. Besides, if I tossed him out I'd have to change the name out front

Yup....this can't be about you...

 

Thanks Steve (Shadowgod).... I had a hearty laugh in the beggining....

 

Choosing to forget the letter for now, Cody tossed it on top of the latest issue of Rolling Stone, its delicate purple masking the image of a new lead singer wearing only a pair of jeans, and dripping wet.

 

A dedication... I see...

 

 

 

 

Wow! What a chapter.... the ending was soo great... How many times I too have wished I could do that!!! (Spoiler )

 

 

Great chapter.... can't wait for more...

BeaStKid

[YaP]

Very nice 2 chapters Steve.. very nice start of a story.

Lol, now i slowly start to understand your fight with JC about who is Queen/King of the Cliffhangers. And all the other well-minded banter thats going on . But until i read more of Shadowgod's writing, JC is still the Queen for me

I like the little reference with the rolling stones cover.. maybe Instinct will play a cocert in LA some time

The characters are really interesting - as far as they are revealed now.

I don't think Jonathan is already out of the picture. At least he is a "daemon from the past" that Cody has to deal with, in order to have a chance for being happy.

I am looking forward to read more.. i see some nights with very little sleep coming up for me while i work my way through your other stories *sigh*

[colinian]

Steve, I frickin' absolutely loved the bit about the mounted goat that hung on the wall... mangy black fur coated with a layer of dust, as it stared down at him in silence from behind a pair of gaudy, large, mirrored sunglasses... Atop its head sat a tarnished silver tiara sporting rhinestones that had lost their sparkle... "and the animal kept pestering us.".

 

Now, what I'm looking for is one of your patented emotional cliffhangers, and you'll be all set.

 

Colin

[C James]

One thing that really stands out to me; the rich detail in descriptions. They really set the stage, beautifully.

 

I also like the very evocative character traits. For example, Joe is apparently very comfortable hanging around in Just boxers. Okay, sure, that's hot and all, but it also shows, without having to say so, that Joe is very confident and also at ease with his body. He knows Cody is gay, so he's obviously not afraid of being looked at.

 

I also have a hunch that Jonathon, based on his actions so far, might be inclined to be trouble during a break-up. He came across as hyper-possesive, and I have a hunch the other shoe is about to drop on that one. Any opinions?

 

I'm also intrigued by Cody and Joe's past together. I remember that scene in the park in LiS... Cody, at some point at least, had an interest in Joe, IMHO anyway. Did Joe ever find out?

 

Also, this is a spinoff of LiS, and takes place weel AFTER the end of LiS. So, does this mean that we will get to see how the gang from LiS is doing?

 

More chapters, please!!!

 

Now, what I'm looking for is one of your patented emotional cliffhangers, and you'll be all set.

 

 

Yes, Shadowgod rules the roost when it comes to cliffhangers, emotional and otherwise.

[Tiger]

Also, this is a spinoff of LiS, and takes place weel AFTER the end of LiS. So, does this mean that we will get to see how the gang from LiS is doing?

 

More chapters, please!!!

 

 

 

 

Yes, Shadowgod rules the roost when it comes to cliffhangers, emotional and otherwise.

 

I too would definitely like to hear something about some of the other characters, especially since LiS is one of my favorite stories.

[Graeme]

I too would definitely like to hear something about some of the other characters, especially since LiS is one of my favorite stories.

I'd like to hear something about them, too, but this is the story about Cody, and that's who I think the focus needs to be on. I can see in the future (maybe ten chapters in) that Cody decides he needs to see Jacob to help him get over the demons in his head (like his guilt that he ruined Jacob's life -- seeing a happy Jacob might be good for Cody), but I'm not expecting that in the near future, and I wouldn't expect to hear from the LiS characters until then (assuming that happens at all).

[shadowgod]

I'm tickled that you all enjoyed the begining passage, though I can not see what significance a trophy has to certin other members of this board. any similarities ( as noted in disclaimers) to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Hrmm... I should change that to include animals as well.

 

Now on to comments...

 

 

Great Chapter Steve ,

 

First off the references at the beginning had me ROFL'ing. It kinda snuck up on me, until I finally realized what the dark ominous creature was . I am confused though that Saul would defend this creatures mantra though. Then, with the magazine reference at the end was even more funny. Great job!!!

 

Now for the middle of the chapter. One thing kinda popped out at me in this chapter and it had to do with the description of Julie. It seems that both Jonathan and Julie have been described as being average. I don't know if this is a reflection on that both Cody and Joe have the same preferences in people but it just kinda stuck out to me as being different. And I take it that Jonathan is now out of the picture.

 

Hrmmm, I don't think they were both described as average at all. Jonathan was described as average, but then it was embelished on with dull hair and flat eyes that refused to sparkle. Julie on the other hand, was described as every girl. But as her description opened it was clear that Joe thaught of her more highly then just average.

 

Thank you for clearing up some more of the relationship between Joe and Cody as well. From discussion of chapter one, I personally don't believe that their is a love interest between the two guys, but more of a strong friendship that is reinforced by their similar interests and likes.

 

As far as the new characters introduced in addition to Julie, I kinda instantly liked Saul. Even before he offered the money, I liked the way that he interacts with Cody and knows how much to ask and when to back off in his questioning. It seems like Saul is the adult figure in Cody's life that he might need now and going into the future. Not to reference LiS, but I kinda thought of Carlos while learning about Saul. Besides, if he shot a goat up in the mountains in Arizona, then he is my hero right away. The next one who is more intriguing is Damon. I'm kinda disappointed that you only gave us a bit of a tease as far as his character development. He does sound interesting, and I don't recall you saying anything about him being average, so maybe strike out the above comment. But most importantly is the word 'innocence' to describe him, and how it evoked some deep thought in Cody.

 

I really like the way this story is going and will wait for more. You have piqued my interest with the character development and interaction between the characters. It looks like it will be a great read.

 

Steve

 

I like Saul as well, You guys caught a glimpse of him in Chapter 1 where he seemed crotchety and overbearing on his renter's lives. That was on purpose, He is going to be the "father" figure in Cody's life for the time being.

 

 

Well, I thought Saul was Evil... I mean, shooting a Goat? That's evil!

 

I was intrigued by the interplay between Cody and Joe, and Joe's thoughts of Cody's eyes. Joe is a very alluring character to me, and he sure likes to sit around in just his boxers. Cody's reaction to the innocence speaks volumes to me; I think he's scared of hurting someone like he hurt Jacob.

 

 

The goat was on a CLIFF?!?!?! Braying its supremacy? ACk, now that's just EEEvil!!! And he refers to it as the devil!!! AAARRGGH!!!

 

I think you are right: Jonathon will be back, because we know Shadowgod likes to complicate his character's lives. (how mean to Cody!). I suspect that Cody has a long road to follow in order to dispel the demons that plague him.

 

I'm also intrigued by the letter. It's obvious that it is very significant, but we are left hanging as to what it contains. So yes, I am hereby declaring this a CLIFFHANGER!

 

Goat! Stop trying to skew peoples perception of Saul, and what is this affinity you have for cliffhangers? It's borderline delusional I'm afraid.

 

And as for Joe sitting around in his boxers... maybe he just enjoys comfort.

 

There was something else about this chapter that struck me -- thanks for reminding me, CJ.

 

Both Joe and Cody mention eyes as the strong, almost defining, point in others. Is this another link between them, or is it a variation on the idea that the eyes are the windows to the soul?

 

As for the goat -- there is no indication in the story that the goat was wearing sunglasses before it was mounted on the wall. Indeed, the implication is otherwise -- that Saul added the sunglasses at a later time.

 

begs the question, whose eyes where they describing?

 

 

I'm glad CJ read the chapter so quickly. Crow is best served warm!

 

Kudos, Steve! Your descriptive passages are just superb. I anticipate we'll all see the full range of human emotion in this story...you're so good at that.

 

I want more Damon.....NOW! I'm an innocent, too.

 

Conner

 

Fear not Damon will feature in the story <g>

 

Wow, I just read the two chap at one go and Steve, I must say You're great! Your descriptions brings life out of words. It directly strikes the reader. At least me!

 

Btw, was CJ mentioned? I saw a goat, a shy and retiring goat lurking up . But CJ is no lurker... But I saw the Rolling Stone wet star. Loved it.

 

Btw, I wanted to ask if the 'locker episode' is found in some other story. Or are we going to found more in other stories.

 

I think Joe and Cody are like friends/lovers rather than lovers. And I too noticed the eyes things. either this is something that indeed links them. Or perhaps, it's just part of Steve's descriptions.

 

GREAT!

 

Ieshwar

 

Hi Ieshwar!

 

I too saw no similarities to CJ, he however claims otherwise. Geesh take a few of his lines and use them to describe a trophy and its all about him... Go figure.

 

As for the locker episode. no it is not in any other stories. I doubt it ever will, as both LiS and Dreams & Clipped Wings precludes any chance of there being a happy ending. Also if the story of Cody and Jacob together was ever written I am afraid previously mentioned Caprian would declare the final chapter a cliffhanger.

 

That said, would there be any interest in reading a story in which you know the two characters don't end up together?

 

 

Thanks Steve (Shadowgod).... I had a hearty laugh in the beggining....

 

A dedication... I see...

 

Wow! What a chapter.... the ending was soo great... How many times I too have wished I could do that!!! (Spoiler )

 

Great chapter.... can't wait for more...

BeaStKid

 

Kudos to everyone who caught the magazine reference at the end. Who knows, they may be featured by way of posters and or music videos at a later date... maybe even a concert if another author is amicable to the idea.

 

Steve, I frickin' absolutely loved the bit about the mounted goat that hung on the wall... mangy black fur coated with a layer of dust, as it stared down at him in silence from behind a pair of gaudy, large, mirrored sunglasses... Atop its head sat a tarnished silver tiara sporting rhinestones that had lost their sparkle... "and the animal kept pestering us.".

 

Now, what I'm looking for is one of your patented emotional cliffhangers, and you'll be all set.

 

Colin

 

You know me, I hate to disappoint. They will arrive, I just can not say when or where. but youll know them by the lead in <g>

 

I too would definitely like to hear something about some of the other characters, especially since LiS is one of my favorite stories.

 

Ahh our friends from LiS... There may be plans to include a selection in a few chapters, but it is nothing concrete. A big issue is Cody's unresolved feelings where Jacob is concerned. Would seeing him again, in the flesh, help him towards clearing his head or only hinder any progress he has made?

 

I'd like to hear something about them, too, but this is the story about Cody, and that's who I think the focus needs to be on. I can see in the future (maybe ten chapters in) that Cody decides he needs to see Jacob to help him get over the demons in his head (like his guilt that he ruined Jacob's life -- seeing a happy Jacob might be good for Cody), but I'm not expecting that in the near future, and I wouldn't expect to hear from the LiS characters until then (assuming that happens at all).

 

Interesting again, but with Cody's current state of mind I cant help but think "that could have been me" would be predominant in his thoughts if any such meeting took place.

 

How would any of you guys react to running into a former "lover". One with which there was no emotional break up, or discovery that the two of you weren't compatible. Just a person with whom your love never had a chance to grow.

 

Thanks again guys!

[Graeme]

Interesting again, but with Cody's current state of mind I cant help but think "that could have been me" would be predominant in his thoughts if any such meeting took place.

 

How would any of you guys react to running into a former "lover". One with which there was no emotional break up, or discovery that the two of you weren't compatible. Just a person with whom your love never had a chance to grow.

That's part of what would make it interesting. It's a scenario that doesn't feature very often in stories and I would love to see what you would do with it. However, I agree that at the moment it would probably hurt Cody more than it would help. I got the impression from LiS that just talking on the phone to Jacob hurt Cody....

[C James]

I'm tickled that you all enjoyed the begining passage, though I can not see what significance a trophy has to certin other members of this board. any similarities ( as noted in disclaimers) to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Hrmm... I should change that to include animals as well.

 

The unmitigated gall! A goat, with sunglasses, and a quiet and shy lurker, and Shadowgod has the nerve to say it's not a reference to me? And then ya'll are going to make me sound like an egomaniac for even saying this, aren't you?

 

I'm so picked on...

 

 

I like Saul as well, You guys caught a glimpse of him in Chapter 1 where he seemed crotchety and overbearing on his renter's lives. That was on purpose, He is going to be the "father" figure in Cody's life for the time being.

 

Goat! Stop trying to skew peoples perception of Saul, and what is this affinity you have for cliffhangers? It's borderline delusional I'm afraid.

 

Too bad you didn't post these chapters in 2007: Saul would have been my pick for "antagonist of the year".

As it is, I shall have to... wait.

 

begs the question, whose eyes where they describing?

 

Each other's

 

Fear not Damon will feature in the story <g>

 

OMG!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!!!!

Echidna, this is a clear case of the author saying what WILL happen. I think Shadowgod needs a POINTED reminder of your anti-spoiler spines!

 

That said, would there be any interest in reading a story in which you know the two characters don't end up together?

 

That would depend on the story. To me personally, I don't like unhappy endings, so it would depend.

 

Kudos to everyone who caught the magazine reference at the end. Who knows, they may be featured by way of posters and or music videos at a later date... maybe even a concert if another author is amicable to the idea.

 

Oh come on! The magazine allusion is one he admits to, but not the stuffed and mounted sunglasses-wearing goat? Thge sheer gall!!!

 

And of course, I'd be honored to see an Instinct concert if you chose to use it.

 

 

That's part of what would make it interesting. It's a scenario that doesn't feature very often in stories and I would love to see what you would do with it. However, I agree that at the moment it would probably hurt Cody more than it would help. I got the impression from LiS that just talking on the phone to Jacob hurt Cody....

 

I got that impression too.

 

However, one thing is clearer now: I wondered, then, why Cody didn't tell JAcob that a PI was after him. Now, it becomes clear; The PI was after JAcob in large part becuase of the "locker room incident" and Cody still has enormous guilt. So, Cody was unwilling to broach the subject. That's my guess anyway.

[Graeme]

OMG!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!!!!

Echidna, this is a clear case of the author saying what WILL happen. I think Shadowgod needs a POINTED reminder of your anti-spoiler spines!

I don't see the problem. He says Damon will be in the story. Well, Damon is already in the story -- he's even been mentioned by name. Where's the spoiler?

 

 

Oh come on! The magazine allusion is one he admits to, but not the stuffed and mounted sunglasses-wearing goat? Thge sheer gall!!!

Are you trying to say you're stuffed and mounted? I never realised....

[shadowgod]

The unmitigated gall! A goat, with sunglasses, and a quiet and shy lurker, and Shadowgod has the nerve to say it's not a reference to me? And then ya'll are going to make me sound like an egomaniac for even saying this, aren't you?

 

I'm so picked on...

 

Get over yourself honestly

 

 

 

Too bad you didn't post these chapters in 2007: Saul would have been my pick for "antagonist of the year".

As it is, I shall have to... wait.

 

See what saul gets for defending a goat?

 

Some people are just unappriciative period.

 

 

Each other's

 

hrmm... Nope, Cody thus far has described two sets of eyes, neither of which belonged to Joe.

 

 

OMG!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!! SPOILER!!!!!

Echidna, this is a clear case of the author saying what WILL happen. I think Shadowgod needs a POINTED reminder of your anti-spoiler spines!

 

how so? That was no more of a spoiler then you saying Eric will be in a Story. You confuse me, first its me me me me now your trying to deflect attention from yourself.

 

That would depend on the story. To me personally, I don't like unhappy endings, so it would depend.

 

Okay specifics. The Story of Jacob and Cody, before everything stopped and their lives took different directions.

 

Oh come on! The magazine allusion is one he admits to, but not the stuffed and mounted sunglasses-wearing goat? Thge sheer gall!!!

 

And of course, I'd be honored to see an Instinct concert if you chose to use it.

 

COOL!! I just wonder how I am going to diffuse the whole thermo-nuclear situation...

 

 

I got that impression too.

 

However, one thing is clearer now: I wondered, then, why Cody didn't tell JAcob that a PI was after him. Now, it becomes clear; The PI was after Jacob in large part becuase of the "locker room incident" and Cody still has enormous guilt. So, Cody was unwilling to broach the subject. That's my guess anyway.

 

There may be something behind that. Cody's refusal to cooperate was out of a sense of loyalty. Loyalty that he couldn't muster back when he was faced with their mutual friends. But he managed to get it when faced with a stranger. hrmmm

 

That's part of what would make it interesting. It's a scenario that doesn't feature very often in stories and I would love to see what you would do with it. However, I agree that at the moment it would probably hurt Cody more than it would help. I got the impression from LiS that just talking on the phone to Jacob hurt Cody....

 

Interesting, I think I may have managed a way to include such a scene in the story.

[C James]

I don't see the problem. He says Damon will be in the story. Well, Damon is already in the story -- he's even been mentioned by name. Where's the spoiler?

 

Ahh, but now we know that Damon won't just vanish from the story! And we only know this becuase Shadowgod said so!!

 

hrmm... Nope, Cody thus far has described two sets of eyes, neither of which belonged to Joe.

 

Ahh, Cody descibed Jonathon and JAcob's eyes, in a way that struck me as if he was comparing the two, and hoolding up Jacob's as an ideal...

 

Okay specifics. The Story of Jacob and Cody, before everything stopped and their lives took different directions.

 

That IMHO would NOT be an "unhappy ending" story (depending on what you do to Cody in DnCW, that is) becuase there is more to the story. It might make a good short story, but is there enough there of a serial? Another factor IMHO is that short stories are far more "forgiving" of less than happy endings, becuase the reader does not have the same level of emotional commitment as they would to a serial which they may have followed for months. I give all my short stories happy endings, but many don't, and that works well too IMHO. Like I say, it depends on the story. I'm sure as heck no fan of serials where you slog through 30 chapters to get the protagonist and his lover interest together at last, only to have the love interest die in some random, meaningless, unforshadowed fashion at the end. I've seen this enough that I usually peek at the final page of a serial before I begin to read a completed story. That's just my personal tastes, and others surely vary, but that's what dictate my reading choices.

 

Another way to deal with Jacob and Cody, if you feel inclined, is via flashbacks or character recollections in DnCW.

[shadowgod]

Ahh, but now we know that Damon won't just vanish from the story! And we only know this becuase Shadowgod said so!!

 

It was a spoiler yes! Damon will be in future chapters! ...

 

honestly goat...

 

 

Ahh, Cody descibed Jonathon and JAcob's eyes, in a way that struck me as if he was comparing the two, and hoolding up Jacob's as an ideal...

 

I wonder if you even read the chapter/s at all... the two sets of eyes Cody has given description to are Jonathan's and Damon's

 

 

That IMHO would NOT be an "unhappy ending" story (depending on what you do to Cody in DnCW, that is) becuase there is more to the story. It might make a good short story, but is there enough there of a serial? Another factor IMHO is that short stories are far more "forgiving" of less than happy endings, becuase the reader does not have the same level of emotional commitment as they would to a serial which they may have followed for months. I give all my short stories happy endings, but many don't, and that works well too IMHO. Like I say, it depends on the story. I'm sure as heck no fan of serials where you slog through 30 chapters to get the protagonist and his lover interest together at last, only to have the love interest die in some random, meaningless, unforshadowed fashion at the end. I've seen this enough that I usually peek at the final page of a serial before I begin to read a completed story. That's just my personal tastes, and others surely vary, but that's what dictate my reading choices.

 

Another way to deal with Jacob and Cody, if you feel inclined, is via flashbacks or character recollections in DnCW.

 

Good response and an interesting Idea. Though if I persue it, I'm thinking it will be more along the lines of an abbriviated serial. 10 chapters or so. Then I don't know if I would want to do that, but it is an interesting idea.

 

---

 

Now seeing as Steve didn't take the bait (bad wildone bad). Anyone else think that the descriptions of Julie and Jonathan were similar? and I know its a little early and all the players have yet to be properly introduced...

 

but speculation anyone?

[C James]

I wonder if you even read the chapter/s at all... the two sets of eyes Cody has given description to are Jonathan's and Damon's

 

Ack, you're right! I just felt that when Cody was describing Jonathon's eyes, and that they didn't sparkle, he was comparing them to Jacob's but that isn't in the text.

 

 

Now seeing as Steve didn't take the bait (bad wildone bad). Anyone else think that the descriptions of Julie and Jonathan were similar? and I know its a little early and all the players have yet to be properly introduced...

 

but speculation anyone?

 

What? Me, speculate?

 

Okay, hrmmm. My impression of Julie was not that she was plain, but that the "every girl" referred to her personality.

Jonathon, on the other hand, did come across as plain.

 

However, if indeed they are similar, I'd say "Siblings", which will cause holy hell when Julie finds out that Cody and Jonathon are no longer together, especially if it was Cody who cut it off. I know Jonathon's words seemed pretty final, but I get the impression that he's prone to such outbursts.

[C James]

Ok, one thing is puzzling me; why exactly is Cody up on a roof at the end of a chapter? That's really odd... He must have a reason?

Is that a normal thing for a city dweller to do? Or is this just an odd quirk? (If the latter, that's great, makes the character real).

 

Who is that lilac-scented envelope FROM???

 

I also note that Shadowgod ended the chapter with the character up on the ROOF. And he's received a letter, a very ominous sounding one. We don't even know if he took the long or the short way down!

 

I think the final scene can indeed be read that way; Look at the final sentence;

 

There in his darkness, Cody fantasized that he too, could fly.

 

It says HIS darkness, you we know from earlier in the scene that its not nighttime, therefor, darkness means depression. And he's on a ROOF, depressed, fantasizing that he can FLY?!?!!? Came on, surely I'm not the only one to see how ominous that is?

[Benji]

Ok, one thing is puzzling me; why exactly is Cody up on a roof at the end of a chapter? That's really odd... He must have a reason?

Is that a normal thing for a city dweller to do? Or is this just an odd quirk? (If the latter, that's great, makes the character real).

 

Who is that lilac-scented envelope FROM???

 

I also note that Shadowgod ended the chapter with the character up on the ROOF. And he's received a letter, a very ominous sounding one. We don't even know if he took the long or the short way down!

 

I think the final scene can indeed be read that way; Look at the final sentence;

 

 

 

It says HIS darkness, you we know from earlier in the scene that its not nighttime, therefor, darkness means depression. And he's on a ROOF, depressed, fantasizing that he can FLY?!?!!? Came on, surely I'm not the only one to see how ominous that is?

 

 

.....I too noticed the onimous end to that chapter, perhaps he was just reflecting his thoughts while the apartment was being occupied or perhaps a rooftop was the closest thing in the city to a cliff.