[Tiff] There Once Was a Boy by Tiffani Chin

[C James]

There Once Was a Boy by Tiffani Chin

Eli and his brother Cassidy share more than they realise. Can Eli learn from what his brother has been through?

 

 

:nuke: :nuke: Spoilers Below!!! :nuke: :nuke:

[Graeme]

Situations repeating, seven years apart.

 

If it wasn't so real, I would have found that glib, but it's unfortunately true. There always seems to be someone who is picked on at school. Someone who's an outsider, not part of the 'in' crowd.

 

At first I thought it strange that Eli didn't know earlier what had happened to change Cassidy, because it certainly would've been news at the time, but as I thought about it, I can see their parents hiding the truth away from their ten-year-old son. It was probably a mistake, but parents make mistakes all the time.

 

At least Cassidy saw enough to bring him out of his shell so he could tell Eli his story. Was that the start on the road to recovery for someone who took the long-ago tragedy so hard that he changed overnight? I hope so.

 

As for Eli, he learnt an important lesson from his big brother, and, more importantly, he decided to act on that lesson. That shows something of his character, and I hope that will help Cassidy, too.

 

It was a tragedy, but maybe something good has come out of it Thanks, Tiffani, for a great story!

[Drewbie]

I could never say articulate this right, but this is an excellent ending, what happens with you don't do anything, cassidy misses him much, and does any bully really get what they do to people?

 

 

this is one my favorite lines

 

[C James]

This is all too real; so many times, kids, gay or straight, are picked on and pushed until they can't take it anymore.

 

Cassidy IMHO passed his test; he told Eli, and Eli put that lesson to use.

 

Well done, Tiff!

[Benji]

......A sad inspirational story where Kyle's prophesized statement "another place another time" becomes true. Hopefully Elli's passing the test will allow Cassidy to heal.

[wildone]

For me this turned into a very emotional story, quite quickly.

 

I felt for Cassidy, Kyle, Gabriel, and Eli.

 

It also makes you evaluate how you deal with fear itself.

 

Great message, great story Tiff.

 

Thanks,

 

Steve

[GaryK]

I've lost track of how many times I've read this story Tiff, and yet every single time all the important lessons and messages it imparts hits me like a sledgehammer and brings tears to my eyes. It's nice to finally see it published so everyone can see it and hopefully learn from it.

[AFriendlyFace]

Wow Tiff! What a beautiful, moving story with such a wonderful message!

 

It definitely made me cry

 

I was really proud of Eli in the end and I hope things get better for Gabriel.

 

Wonderful, wonderful job!

 

-Kevin

[Tiff]

I could never say articulate this right, but this is an excellent ending, what happens with you don't do anything, cassidy misses him much, and does any bully really get what they do to people?

 

Thanks for reading Drewbie!

 

I really feel for Cassify as well because a lot of times people never realize the consequences of not acting, of not doing something, until it's too late. Cassidy not only lost Kyle, but self-respect for himself after what happened.

 

Unfortunately, bullies are the ones that get to move on, but in some cases, perhaps they are haunted by their actions. Witnessing Kyle's suicide, those bullies might never forget that image, Kyle's words. If they never forget, then that is their punishment.

 

 

......A sad inspirational story where Kyle's prophesized statement "another place another time" becomes true. Hopefully Elli's passing the test will allow Cassidy to heal.

 

Thanks for reading Benji!

 

Cassidy knew he had to help Eli and Gabriel. He had to try to fix something, although he couldn't do anything about his own situation long ago. In truth, Cassidy might never heal, but with Eli doing the right thing, it is a small way for him to start the process or at least be able to look at himself in the mirror.

 

For me this turned into a very emotional story, quite quickly.

 

I felt for Cassidy, Kyle, Gabriel, and Eli.

 

It also makes you evaluate how you deal with fear itself.

 

Great message, great story Tiff.

 

Thanks,

 

Steve

 

Thanks for reading Steve!

 

That's one of the things I wanted to explore; the power of fear and what it can do. Anyone can say that they will help someone and stand up for them when the time comes, but really, no one knows how they'll react unless they're there, physically.

 

I've lost track of how many times I've read this story Tiff, and yet every single time all the important lessons and messages it imparts hits me like a sledgehammer and brings tears to my eyes. It's nice to finally see it published so everyone can see it and hopefully learn from it.

 

Hey Gary! I remember I had so much trouble with this story because I didn't know if everything was in place or if it was too overdone, but thanks to you and the other beta-readers, I found my way. Thus far, compared to the anniversary anthology, this is my favorite one.

 

 

Wow Tiff! What a beautiful, moving story with such a wonderful message!

 

It definitely made me cry

 

I was really proud of Eli in the end and I hope things get better for Gabriel.

 

Wonderful, wonderful job!

 

-Kevin

 

Thanks for reading Kevin! Sorry it made you cry. Rereading it over and over again, it often made me tear up. But then I had to shake myself and remind myself it was a story.

[GaryK]

Hey Gary! I remember I had so much trouble with this story because I didn't know if everything was in place or if it was too overdone, but thanks to you and the other beta-readers, I found my way. Thus far, compared to the anniversary anthology, this is my favorite one.

It was really nice to see how much having a good team of beta-readers improved what was already a great story. I wish every author would use at least one beta-reader and an editor.

 

It's difficult to compare this story to the anniversary anthology because they're so different. Still, I think the anniversary anthology is the best short story you've written. This one is second best. And of course there is still one you haven't published yet. That one is going to shock the heck out of a lot of people and might wind up being your best yet. We'll see, eh?

 

Thanks for reading Kevin! Sorry it made you cry. Rereading it over and over again, it often made me tear up. But then I had to shake myself and remind myself it was a story.

What a bunch of nonsense. A well-written story is so much more than just a story. I challenge you to tell me JOMM is just a story! Come on...I'll bet you can't do it!

Edited June 14, 2008 by GaryInMiami

[Tiff]

It was really nice to see how much having a good team of beta-readers improved what was already a great story. I wish every author would use at least one beta-reader and an editor.

 

It's difficult to compare this story to the anniversary anthology because they're so different. Still, I think the anniversary anthology is the best short story you've written. This one is second best. And of course there is still one you haven't published yet. That one is going to shock the heck out of a lot of people and might wind up being your best yet. We'll see, eh?

 

Perhaps more authors will come around on the beta-reader/editor thing. Sometimes authors are intensely private or self-conscious. It took me awhile to get the beta-reader bug, but now things are much better with one. At least I can rely on an honest opinion and feedback, even if it might be hard to hear.

 

I haven't read the anniversary anthology in awhile. Perhaps I should take another look at it and see how much it affects me compared to this one.

 

What a bunch of nonsense. A well-written story is so much more than just a story. I challenge you to tell me JOMM is just a story! Come on...I'll bet you can't do it!

 

LOL, you're right Gary! JOMM is not just a story, but that's because I'm biased. I wrote it, so of course I feel like it's a part of me, with all those characters and emotions/feelings. Then again, maybe there are real versions of Crew, Hiro, Bryce, Hela, Zeke, Sky, and Storm around the world, huh?

[GaryK]

LOL, you're right Gary! JOMM is not just a story, but that's because I'm biased. I wrote it, so of course I feel like it's a part of me, with all those characters and emotions/feelings. Then again, maybe there are real versions of Crew, Hiro, Bryce, Hela, Zeke, Sky, and Storm around the world, huh?

I think there are friends like that all over the world Tiff.

[Meeko]

This is all too real; so many times, kids, gay or straight, are picked on and pushed until they can't take it anymore.

 

Cassidy IMHO passed his test; he told Eli, and Eli put that lesson to use.

 

Well done, Tiff!

 

 

I couldn't have said it any better then CJ did.

 

A story that can make me tear, really is one well written.

 

A truly amazing story, one with such great meaning, Thank's Tiff

[Libby Drew]

Had a chance to read this last night, Tiff. It's amazing how you managed to make this both heartbreaking and heartwarming, all in the span of a few thousand words. I had tears in my eyes at several points, but for different reasons. Escaping one's fear is something we all face in life, but for teens -- where so much is close to the surface and the smallest things seem insurmountable -- it can be paralyzing. For that reason, this didn't feel overdone at all. Thank you for having enough faith in people to allow your characters to choose the right path.

[Tiger]

I agree with Libby here. The part where he jumped just made me want to cry. I actually started to. Anyway, I thought it was a great story, Tiff. I wish I had more to add, but everyone else said exactly what I would have said.

[AFriendlyFace]

That's one of the things I wanted to explore; the power of fear and what it can do. Anyone can say that they will help someone and stand up for them when the time comes, but really, no one knows how they'll react unless they're there, physically.

A great point!

Thanks for reading Kevin! Sorry it made you cry. Rereading it over and over again, it often made me tear up. But then I had to shake myself and remind myself it was a story.

No no, I like stories that make me cry!!

[Tiff]

I couldn't have said it any better then CJ did.

 

A story that can make me tear, really is one well written.

 

A truly amazing story, one with such great meaning, Thank's Tiff

 

Thanks so much for reading! I'm kinda glad it made you tear up, lol, because then I accomplished my goal of writing a slightly sad, yet hopeful story. I had constant damp eyes everytime I rewrote this or reworked it, trying to get the emotions down.

 

 

Had a chance to read this last night, Tiff. It's amazing how you managed to make this both heartbreaking and heartwarming, all in the span of a few thousand words. I had tears in my eyes at several points, but for different reasons. Escaping one's fear is something we all face in life, but for teens -- where so much is close to the surface and the smallest things seem insurmountable -- it can be paralyzing. For that reason, this didn't feel overdone at all. Thank you for having enough faith in people to allow your characters to choose the right path.

 

Thanks for reading Libby!

 

All young kids have trouble dealing with peer pressure and fear or standing out, so they compromise themselves in order to fit in, or protect themselves. Very few are strong enough to go against the grain and we don't learn to think for ourselves until we're older.

 

I really loved Cassidy because his heart was in the right place, but he couldn't seem to take any action. But he's trying to make amends, trying to do the right thing, seven years later. I also loved Kyle and his strength. He did what he felt he had to and nothing would change his mind.

 

 

I agree with Libby here. The part where he jumped just made me want to cry. I actually started to. Anyway, I thought it was a great story, Tiff. I wish I had more to add, but everyone else said exactly what I would have said.

 

Thanks for reading Tim! As I've said before, I cried many times while writing this. All the scenes of Kyle on the cliff was very emotional for me. It was hard to write it, knowing what it was leading to. : )

 

No no, I like stories that make me cry!!

 

I like stories that make me cry, too. Although I hate it at the same time because then I can't get it off my mind for a long time. I still remember yours and Greg's "Without You."

[NaperVic]

I really loved Cassidy because his heart was in the right place, but he couldn't seem to take any action. But he's trying to make amends, trying to do the right thing, seven years later. I also loved Kyle and his strength. He did what he felt he had to and nothing would change his mind.

 

Thanks for the added insight and thank you for your story. It was very moving We can only hope that Cassidy is able to move on and find some peace after all these years.

[GaryK]

I like stories that make me cry, too. Although I hate it at the same time because then I can't get it off my mind for a long time. I still remember yours and Greg's "Without You."

Please don't hate it Tiff. Sad as it might be it's a good thing when you've written a story that the reader remembers long after they've finished reading it. The same holds true for stories that end on a relatively upbeat note. It's all in how well you craft the story and capture the emotions of your characters. One of the reasons I love working with you, and also being a huge fan, is you are a master of emotions. It's one of the reasons why your writing drains you so much and occasionally makes you need to take a break for a little while. It's hard to put that much emotion into a story without it affecting you.

[Tiff]

Thanks for the added insight and thank you for your story. It was very moving We can only hope that Cassidy is able to move on and find some peace after all these years.

 

Forgiving himself is something Cassidy may or may not be capable of. Some regrets stay with you forever, unfortunately. In the story, the point of telling Eli his story was in hopes of helping Eli, Gabriel, and himself. Whether or not it worked is another story...

 

LOL. I know, no concrete answers. Let the readers imagine and have it summer in their minds.

 

Please don't hate it Tiff. Sad as it might be it's a good thing when you've written a story that the reader remembers long after they've finished reading it. The same holds true for stories that end on a relatively upbeat note. It's all in how well you craft the story and capture the emotions of your characters. One of the reasons I love working with you, and also being a huge fan, is you are a master of emotions. It's one of the reasons why your writing drains you so much and occasionally makes you need to take a break for a little while. It's hard to put that much emotion into a story without it affecting you.

 

I definitely agree with you. Every author who writes a sad piece or poured their heart and soul into their characters feels emotional in some way. With sad stories or potentially hopeful ones, I'm left with a very wistful feeling. Hate is a strong word for sad stories. But it is a love/hate relationship because I can't focus and I keep going over the story in my head.

 

Sad or not, writing and reading is definitely worth the insomnia!

[old bob]

.....Every author who writes a sad piece or poured their heart and soul into their characters feels emotional in some way. With sad stories or potentially hopeful ones, I'm left with a very wistful feeling. Hate is a strong word for sad stories. But it is a love/hate relationship because I can't focus and I keep going over the story in my head. Sad or not, writing and reading is definitely worth the insomnia!

I just finished to read your story for the forth time. and each time I have the same feelings. You can't write such a story, just from your imagination ! I'm sure you put some of your own experiences (yours or from your friends). Such a mix of hate and love ! And the way you write underline the progression like a symphony (allegro ma non troppo, adagio, allegro vivace, andante, like the Ludwig van Beethoven's Symphony No. 6 in F major, known as the Pastoral Symphony).

You are also a fighter, a warrior. The phrases you wrote about hate come from heart ! I really support your words.

....

[Tiff]

I just finished to read your story for the forth time. and each time I have the same feelings. You can't write such a story, just from your imagination ! I'm sure you put some of your own experiences (yours or from your friends). Such a mix of hate and love ! And the way you write underline the progression like a symphony (allegro ma non troppo, adagio, allegro vivace, andante, like the Ludwig van Beethoven's Symphony No. 6 in F major, known as the Pastoral Symphony).

You are also a fighter, a warrior. The phrases you wrote about hate come from heart ! I really support your words.

 

Hate is part of one's life. If you are not able to hate, you miss an important part of life, a weapon you have sometimes to use. Thats one of my many life's experiences.

Thanks to have me brought back in some of my memories.

Old Bob

 

Hey! Thanks for reading and commenting. Four times? I'm impressed. I actually haven't read the story since because it makes me feel a little sad, but it's one of my favorite ones, if not my actual favorite. I remember I wrote the first draft in one evening and then spent weeks making changes and agonizing whether or not I got the emotion just right. I wanted it to be beautiful, heartfelt, believable, but tragic and memorable at the same time. That's when I needed the betas to rescue me. Thanks again to Gary, Sharon, and Pete.

 

I think you are right about hate being a part of life in general. Hate sometimes can destroy a person, but if you channel it properly, it is indeed a weapon and you could do extraordinary things. And although none of the story were based on true events or even real people, the battle between love and hate, and fighting yourself is very true, with myself and with others. Me a fighter? A warrior? LOL. I love those words, but not sure if it describes me, but hey, I'll take it!

 

Thanks again for reading and commenting. I really enjoyed your thoughts/feedback.

[Myk]

I like stories that make me cry, too. Although I hate it at the same time because then I can't get it off my mind for a long time. I still remember yours and Greg's "Without You."

 

Ummm....sorry! Although I guess I should say thanks

 

Well I actually just got around to reading your story Tiff, sorry it took so long but now that exams are done I had the time. There are a lot of undercurrents to this story. There is fear and social pressures and doing the right thing and more. To me though what stood out the most was the struggle. I'm not sure you intended to show this as a struggle but that is what hit me.

 

There are the obvious external struggles between so-called 'friends' and the internal struggles. Cassidy's-BTW, that is such a unique name-internal struggle seems the backbone of this story to me. He struggles with his fear and to overcome his inaction to make a difference. Then after it all he struggles with his feelings, his regret about what had happened. He ends up doing something we far too often do, and that is questioning our actions in hindsight...but in the moment we have no perfect insight into the universe, and sometimes not even into our own soul and how to overcome our personal fears.

 

I really enjoyed this story Tiff!! You are skillful at pulling the heartstings

 

Greg

[Tiff]

Well I actually just got around to reading your story Tiff, sorry it took so long but now that exams are done I had the time. There are a lot of undercurrents to this story. There is fear and social pressures and doing the right thing and more. To me though what stood out the most was the struggle. I'm not sure you intended to show this as a struggle but that is what hit me.

 

There are the obvious external struggles between so-called 'friends' and the internal struggles. Cassidy's-BTW, that is such a unique name-internal struggle seems the backbone of this story to me. He struggles with his fear and to overcome his inaction to make a difference. Then after it all he struggles with his feelings, his regret about what had happened. He ends up doing something we far too often do, and that is questioning our actions in hindsight...but in the moment we have no perfect insight into the universe, and sometimes not even into our own soul and how to overcome our personal fears.

 

I really enjoyed this story Tiff!! You are skillful at pulling the heartstings

 

Greg

Well if it isn't my favorite anthology writer, or stalkee

 

You're equally skillful at pulling those heartstrings, my friend. Maybe I can give you a run for your money in the heartstring pulling for the next anthology...that is if you create something last minute. Remember my warning: *karate pose ready*

 

Anyway, back to your comments. Growing up or continously through life, we're presented with struggles and tests, in which we are not able to excape ever. Some people will always live in fear. Some people will always succumb to social pressure. It's always hard to fight back and live your own path. It's an ongoing internal struggle, that's for sure.

 

Although Kyle played a big part of the plot, Cassidy's struggle and regret, and the memories that haunt him six years later is central to the entire story. He might never escape his past, but with telling his brother this story, it's a step in the right direction.

 

Thanks so much for commenting.

[hh5]

Good Story.

 

But if this happen in the real world.

Lets say in the 50s, Those bad boys would get away with it and then we have a horror flick

In current day, those bad boys be in jail cause the blood evidence.

The hard part of the story is the reader has no idea where this took place except near a cliff.

so if your gay and have enemies don't be near a cliff.

 

I bet things like this happens some where in the past and now.

Its clear our society does not teach us these things.

I think bible stories might have something like this but we have to take the gay reference out.

 

Now I wonder if a parent would ever visit a school he's going to send his son to

and Ask the principle to prove that there was never a student that died due to bigotry or bulling

must certainly the parent would have to find out somewhere else before the principle would be forth coming

 

Its bad that one boys death did not change the school

This must be a 50s story or at worst an 80s

 

Now the question "Would I pass the Test?"

I would say in some ways I did

But it only meant that the bad guys just focus their efforts on me.

Its only by witt, luck, and the grace of god that I is alive

But in terms of the fear test

Nope and maybe Yes

I guess its depends if I carry my courage with me

or if MEL GIBSON is standing behind me

Edited November 10, 2008 by hh5