Is Your Cat Planning to Kill You?

[JamesSavik]

I took this quiz by the Oatmeal and got this alarming result:

 

 

Also new at the Oatmeal: Why I would rather be punched in the balls than call customer service

 

 

 

OMG... this is the story of my life: Why it's better to pretend that you don't know anything about computers

[Cia]

NO wonder why he follows me into the bathroom, I think he's plotting to push something electric into the tub!

 

 

As for the tech assistance, it's not quite the same but I called my Insurance Co. to find out if a service was covered, spent 20+ minutes on hold with a double beep every 5 seconds, not even any music! The talking bit? Less than 2 minutes, I timed it. Insult to injury? I had to call back the next day for the exact same damn thing! I hate the phone systems nowadays! Death to the inventor of the "If you know the digits of the extension you are trying to reach please press them now. Otherwise please hold on the line for a completely ridiculous number of menus with options and digits for you to push just so that we can tell you we are closed and hang up on you!" Let's grab the torches and pitchforks...who wants to google their name?

[Nephylim]

AAAAArrrggghhhh.... there is a 100% chance that my cat is plotting to kill me... and I have two... oh well at least now you will all know what happened if I suddenly disappear. You can send someone round with a body bag

[TalonRider]

I don't have a cat, so I guess I'm safe enough.

[Lugh]

87% chance... I think I can take her.

[rknapp]

Don't have a cat (they're the spawn of Satan) so I skipped to the second link...

 

Omfg, I'm literally crying. The Celine bit really got me!

 

Sadly, it's not exactly embellished. Try calling Dell Tech Support after sending your laptop to have the screen replaced (kept the hard drive, left the HDD cable attached to the mainboard), and finding the HDD cable missing when it comes back. Oh that was a trip and a half.

[JensenC]

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oh my, i'm sleeping with one eye open in future

[KJames]

Don't have a cat (they're the spawn of Satan) so I skipped to the second link...

 

Omfg, I'm literally crying. The Celine bit really got me!

 

Sadly, it's not exactly embellished. Try calling Dell Tech Support after sending your laptop to have the screen replaced (kept the hard drive, left the HDD cable attached to the mainboard), and finding the HDD cable missing when it comes back. Oh that was a trip and a half.

 

Makes me glad our Dell support was on-site. We don't have to pack up, we just tell them where to go to fix it.

[Arpeggio]

 

O_O

[Young Sage]

85% chance.

 

She mainly uses sleep deprivation tactics on me. It usually works.

[zland666]

i hope not.

my cat that i had was smart enough to open drawers and get my dog in trouble O.o we found out that it was the cat's dodo in the hallway not the puppie's. It runsaway constantly but comes back a week later...

[FairyTaleSkies]

80% chance, but chances are he'll take out my mum or sister first

[writeincode]

I don't have a cat so I did it about my dog. It says 74% but he wouldn't kill me. Maybe accidently... He's kinda big n clumsy. He just gives kisses and hugs and wants his tummy rubbed.

 

I repeated the quiz, referencing my boyfriend as the 'cat' and it's an 87% chance that he is planning to kill me. Quite possible.